Xanxus' Adventures in Parenthood Piracy by InsaneScriptist

Beta'd by the lovely Umei no Mai

Summary: Xanxus could only blame the damn scientists for stranding him in an alternate dimension. However Xanxus could only blame himself for allowing that woman to foist her child onto him. Drabble fic.

Meeting

Having briefings, meetings, discussions with the Sawada brat always put Xanxus in a foul mood. The subject didn't matter to him but when they met in the Vongola Estate, in that damn fucking office, it always made his fury spike ever higher. The only things that would cool it enough to focus on other things were blood, alcohol, steak and violence; not necessarily in order. Time didn't do such, as Xanxus had a damn fine memory and his ability to hold a grudge was key to using his flames of wrath.

Someone had clued the inferior copy of the Primo in on that, so in meetings that he couldn't send the shark-trash to started to be held out of office, and off the estate if possible when they actually needed to meet and have Xanxus keep a cool head. Xanxus, could be very rational in his wrath but made a point of being very hard to deal with regardless. Some might have called it petty, but never where Xanxus could hear them.

This lead to a number of odd meeting sites, for meetings that were important enough for the Vongola's Neo-Primo to have in person with the Commander of the Varia and yet not important enough for an actual summons to the Vongola Estate and that damn office.

Sites like the R&D facility of the Vongola. After the meeting where both discussed things, their respective silver-haired right-hands were then sent off to relay orders.

Research

Xanxus didn't care much for the geeks who researched things for the Vongola. He knew they were important. The Varia had a number of reasons to thank the researcher's efforts, from medicinal advances to new toys.

Still, the Varia were assassins and they couldn't really respect those who couldn't fight or kill, no matter if they synthesized new poisons, antidotes and created really shiny and wonderful weapons.

Development

Research, had its benefits but was often tedious and not for those without genius-level intellect at minimum. Development however was fun, at least for Xanxus. Development meant production designs and testing and Xanxus was quite willing to test new weapons, and he had subordinates who were keen to test new poisons on unsuspecting others. Consequently, he was well-known to those working on the D-side of R&D.

He was also very feared, which Xanxus saw as proof of their weakness. They gave him good weapons to test, he had fun and he was happy. If they gave him shit weapons to test, he would be unhappy and they knew it, which gave them plenty of motivation to improve and keep up the good work.

Guns

Xanxus knew guns. He built them himself. Not just his custom guns, but a lot of others. The number and variety of weapon specs in his head was even higher than that of most gun-fanatics. Make, model, year, nationality and type didn't matter. Xanxus had made everything from the modern 9mm to single-action revolvers to RPGs to some of the first guns ever made before bullets were the standard ammo, guns which shot lead balls from smoking powder.

He knew how to make every little part to size from scratch and down to every last perfect detail. From clips to bullets to barrels to triggers and all the finicky little details. He also knew how to tweak them and customize them With Dying Will flame technology, as shown by his own preferred pair. That was something only Verde and a few of Development's eggheads could match and proof that he wasn't the brutal thug a lot of other Mafiosi thought he was.

It was a little known fact that the Varia mostly used the guns that Xanxus made for them, both as a symbol of pride and the fact that Xanxus made them work for the Varia in ways that weapon manufactures and random mafioso guns simply didn't or couldn't. Silent, powerful and durable with range accuracy like a rifle's.

As a whole, the Varia were spoiled when it came to guns and they knew it. They only used other guns to make sure that their aim with inferior weapons didn't deteriorate because they were spoiled.

Unexpected

There were a few rules in the R&D that had to be observed, due to all the odd stuff being messed about with there, especially once the Bovino kid started working in there with a few other prominent scientists. The Vongola's Lighting Guardian might have been a total brat but he was a weapon-smart brat for all he had been part of the Vongola since he was five. Whatever the Bovino famiglia did to get weapon use and creation hammered into the cow-brat worked.

Unfortunately Xanxus knocking over some wimpy gofer carrying an open box of altered 10-year bazooka ammo was not unexpected and really shouldn't have happened because moving that stuff around like that was one of the big no-nos. Being stuck in an alternate future was not something any of the 10th Generation wanted to repeat. The grunt landed hard and the contents of the box went flying, detonating in mostly harmless colored smoke against the walls and ceiling. Xanxus didn't bother to dodge knowing that the bazooka's ammo was unable to harm people beyond temporally displacing them.

What was unexpected was that an alternate Xanxus didn't appear and the original Xanxus didn't reappear after five minutes.

"VOOI! Boss!" The long-haired swordsman yelled, as he reached the hallway after being informed that there was an issue concerning his boss. Giving his best serial killer smile, Squalo Superbi held the trembling gofer against the wall, as he began an interrogation.

Squalo might technically be the Rain Officer of the Varia but he did a damn fucking good impersonation of a Storm when he wanted to.