I find myself frustrated by how difficult it is to find stories with belly touching/stomach wounds/trembling and/or clenching (or any other delicious adjectives) stomach muscles - preferably Dean's. Then again I'm still new to all of this and am probably just not looking in the right places. He has a beautiful stomach, I can't help myself, I'm drawn to it. *sigh* Sam is beautiful too, but I think Dean summoned my soul to a crossroads somewhere and keeps it in his trunk now.

I've also discovered a peeve I didn't realize I had until it kept coming up over and over and over. Sam wasn't at Stanford for 4 years. He was there for *2*. Dean says it in Dead In The Water. "I'm the one who's been with him the last *2 years*." I don't know why it bugs me so badly that people keep getting it wrong. Maybe because if he'd been at Stanford for 4 years he probably would have GRADUATED? Ugh. Another one being the Mystery Spot fics that talk about Sam being alone for 2 or 3 months or whatever, when it says right at the bottom of the screen "Six Months Later"...meaning he hunted alone for six months. Six. I know, I'm a ridiculous continuity freak, even the show drives me crazy when they drop the ball, but I get over it. *grin*

I feel that touch is important to us as human beings. A simple touch can convey so many things, and soothe so many hurts. So yes, my brothers do physical contact, but not in any kind of sexual way and I hope within the context of their characters. I try very hard to keep them in character and not have them do anything I could not see them doing on the show. (With one exception written for a very special prompt.)

I am (as I said) a Dean girl. Jensen Ackles is a fine looking man, but the Dean character is what really won me over. So loyal, protective of those who need protecting, determined, strong, but so soft and loving on the inside, his rough exterior hiding a vulnerability so deep and wide you could stand in it and not reach the top or touch the sides with your arms outspread. I love those rare moments in the show where he drops his guard, when we see the damaged man inside and realize the strength of will it takes for him to keep going day after day. His strength lies in his compassion. His strength and my weakness. He comes across as a womanizer, a player, yet when a woman is in trouble he's the first one to help and he always treats them with respect and dignity. Hell even Ruby, who he hated, was on the receiving end of that. When she was hurt by the angels and the daemons he was the first one there both times to help her up off the floor and steady her until she got her feet. And he always looks shocked and grateful when he is given a thank you kiss by the damsel whose ass he's just saved.

This image from Jus In Bello really struck me. *SPOILER FOR JUS IN BELLO* He's using the towel to try to get the bullet hole in his shoulder to stop bleeding, but the way he is cradling the towel to himself it could be for just about anything on his abdomen or chest. It set my imagination in motion.

My imagination isn't always my friend. From the first time I saw Swap Meat (and yes, more spoilers here folks) the scene where daemon Nora is kicking Dean has always scared the hell out of me. She's kicking him in the stomach and he's suddenly got blood in his mouth - my first thought was, "oh holy shit she's broken something inside him, something that's not a bone." Sure, I break Dean frequently in my fics (I always, always put him back together, though, and never do any permanent damage), but I've not dipped my toes in that particular pool - bones are one thing, internal organs are something else entirely. I've thought about doing a tag to the ep where we find out what's been torn/ruptured/badly damaged but the thought of it just freaks me out too much to write about. At this point I'd be willing to beg or trade someone else to write it for me since I can't do it myself. *sigh*

I also love that Jensen is such a brilliant actor he never breaks character, even when he's not the focus of the shot. Watching him in the background of a scene, or even in the extreme foreground when he's out of focus, he keeps his Dean face on. Perfectly brilliant.

There are certain things he does that just make me shiver head to toe, not the least of which is when he waits to show his pain until the other person in the scene turns away from him. That's our boy, never let anyone see you weak, right? Except us. We're special, we're in on the secret. (In The Song Remains The Same he waits until Michael turns away from him to hold his stomach where Uriel kicked him - pulling his coat tighter around himself to cover the motion. But we get to see what he hides from Michael.)

I love when he asks, "Are you alright/okay?" He does it a lot. I love his compassion and that he retains it no matter what terrible things happen to him.

I love the way he smirks when he's hiding something.

I love the way he can break my heart, make me curl in on myself with my arms clutched to my chest with a simple look.

I love when he licks his lips, even more when he pulls the bottom one between his teeth. I have a folder devoted to his bottom lip - either him licking it or him biting it. *shiver*

I love the way he drapes his arm across himself when he sleeps.

I love the way his lips pooch out when he's intent on something.

I love when he just says "Okay", like when he's finishing up talking with the husband in Malleus Maleficarum. (I know I know, that's an odd one, but it gives me shivers and I can't help it...)

I love when he touches his stomach or cradles his ribs, makes me want to cuddle him and rub his tummy.

And I turn into a helpless, quivering puddle on the floor when he does the shivering breath thing. *faints*