Somethings about me:

Name: Olivia

Nicknames: Olive, canned ham, shrimp, Princess, Easty-Beastly,Squishy, Livs, numbnuts, (That's all for now!:))

Age: 21

Grade: No more high school! woot woot!

Gender: Female

Sports? cross-country, track and field (outdoor and indoor) softball, basketball

Favs.:

Subject- Math, English, Science, Psychology

T.v Show- Smallville, Ghost hunters, Scrubs, Ghost whisper, Bones, CSI, NCIS, Dark Angel, Warehouse 13, Eureka, Haven, Fringe, Once Upon A Time, Catsle,

cartoon- Teen titans, Ben 10, Kim Possible

Hobbes:

Quilting, exercising, reading, writing

Funny Quotes:

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Author Unknown

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Schulz

Maybe this world is another planet's hell. Aldous Huxley
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. Nicholas Chamfort

Without geography, you're nowhere. Author Unknown

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. Author Unknown

I plan on living forever. So far, so good. Author Unknown

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. P.D. East

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. Author Unknown

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Author Unknown

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. Author Unknown

Funny MOVIE QUOTES:

If I'm not back in five minutes...wait longer!
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

“What if there is no tomorrow, there wasn’t one today.” – Bill Murray, Groundhog Day

“Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.” – James Tolkan, Top Gun

“I know what dude I am! I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!” – Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder

“Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.” Rick Moranis, Spaceballs

Pugsley: We're not shy!
Wednesday: We're contagious
The Addams Family

BUMPER STICKERS:

Don't wash this vehicle - Undergoing scientific dirt test

Sometimes you got to say, "What the F*k?"

KEEP HONKING- I'M RELOADING

If you can read this... I can slam on my breaks and sue you.

CAUTION: I can go 0 to BITCH in 2.5 seconds

Jesus is coming...LOOK BUSY

What would Scooby do?

HORN BROKE--WATCH FOR FINGER

As a matter of fact, I do own the road.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Back off! I'm not that kind of car.

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Get off my ass before I start to like it!

I'm only driving this way to piss you off.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I gave up drinking, smoking and sex - Worst 15 minutes of my life

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

If we call it tourist season why can't we shoot them?

My daughter turned down your honor student!

Pissing off the whole planet one person at a time

YOU SAY I'M A BITCH LIKE IT'S A BAD THING

The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

"I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car..."

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

General Ways to Annoy People
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Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every question with another question. As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
As people talk, smell their shoulders.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Ask people what gender they are.
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Ask to "interface" with someone.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
At random times in a conversation, say "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word "the."
Be "in conference" all the time.
Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"
Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways.
Bring 15 things into the dressing room.
Bring a portable CD player to a concert and listen the CD because you insist that it is "Just better quality"
Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.
Buy it, wear it, return it.
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Call every girl you know "dude".
Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonalds.
Call everyone a communist.
Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
Call other people "Champ" or "Tiger.". Refer to yourself as "Coach."
Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up. Call again about a half hour latter and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.
Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing."
Call your neighbors collect.
Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
Chew on pens/pncils that you've borrowed.
Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
Claim you are fluent in over 6 million forms of communication - constantly, every time any language is mentioned, even if the comment is not directed to you
Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.
Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.
Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you.
Consistently refer to everyone as 'mortal.'
Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.
Continually try to get all of the people who write you letters to put cellophane tape over their stamps so that you can wipe off the postmark and reuse them.
Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.
Continuously mumble during a conversation.
Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"
Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a southern drawl.
Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa.
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
Dedicate your life to politics, become president of the United States, then raise all taxes to 90%.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar," or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
Develop strategies for cutting into the front of lines.
Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
Don't clean the dryer lint screen.
Don't leave a message at the beep, just hangup.
Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back.
Don't stand during hymns and anthems.
dont use any punctuation
Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly.
Draw mustaches on posters.
Dress like a "High-class rich person" and wash windows at random street corners.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Drive half a block.
Drum on every available surface.
Drum your fingers during other people's presentations.
Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet.
Eat produce at the market; don't buy it.
E-mail Microsoft to tell them about bugs in Windows XP that aren't actually there.
Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
Every time you see a particular coworker, shout, "So we meet again!" and laugh evilly.
Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.
Face the back when standing in an elevator.
Fart in cramped places.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do".
Finish other people's crossword puzzles
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Flirt with a friend's spouse, lick your lips slowly, wink, etc.
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel.
Force everyone to remove their shoes when they enter your office "to prevent contamination."
Forget the pooper scooper.
“Forget” the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Frantically change the date on people's computers back 50 years, and claim that you are trying to save humanity from the "Year 2000 Bug."
Get to know a friends bookie and place bets for them. Insist on keeping half of any money they win.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
Go canoeing and sing the Hawaii Five-0 theme.
Go to a gumball machine insert coins until you have a matching pair of fake eyeballs. After attaining these, record the theme song of The Twilight Zone over and over again. Drive down the street wearing the eyeballs and playing The Twilight Zone theme very loud. When you get pulled over, leap into the passenger's seat and claim, "He was here a minute ago, officer!"
Go to a Metallica concert wearing a Michael Bolton T-Shirt.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave.
Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.
Go up the down escalator.
Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.
Grin so wide it hurts your cheeks at every salesperson in town.
Hang around national monuments all day, trying to get in other people's vacation photos. Afterwards, give them your address and ask them to send you a print when they get them developed.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
In an office, lock all the doors behind you.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Insist completely ridiculous things are true - like Bush is still President.
Insist on buying airplane tickets for friends to "save them money." Make sure the plane departs at 5AM and the tickets are non-refundable. Point out that you didn't really save them any money.
Insist on giving weather forecasts in public. Claim to be AMS certified.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.
Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.
Insist that your e-mail address be zena_goddess_of_fire@
Instead of singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, sing 999,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall!
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.
Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads.
Leave pages in the copier.
Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-landscape mode.
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April.
Leave the toilet seat up
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Leave your Metallica CD in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower.
Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Lie to your therapist.
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Listen to 33RPM records at 45RPM speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"
Loudly recite people's most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.
Make appointments for the 31st of September.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Make scary faces at babies.
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi." (Hmmm, I guess our President has already co-opted this idea!)
Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.
Mow your carpet. (Or preferably somebody else's)
Mow your lawn with scissors.
Name your dog "Dog."
Never break eye contact.
Never make eye contact.
Occasionally bark in a high-pitched voice.
On a hot summer day, ride up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.
On a night other than Halloween, get a few friends together and dress like Jason from Friday the 13th. Have each of you stand a mile apart on a highway.
On buses, attempt to convince the driver to take a really cool short-cut you know. Barter and haggle for your fare.
On the public bus, keep asking the driver nervously, "are we there yet?"
only type in lowercase.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
Open umbrellas in crowded hallways.
Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Outloud say "What?" and then answer "Never mind. It's gone now."
Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Pay tolls with $100 bills
Pee in the swimming pool.
Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.
Phone random numbers and tell them you are holding their daughter hostage.
Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.
Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want.
Place your shoes on the table.
Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbors ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!
Plead with the person next to you for the window seat on the plane, and then get up fifteen or twenty times during the course of the flight complaining that you should have taken two spoonsful of "The Pink Stuff".
Poke anyone near you and say, "stop violating my personal space."
Pose as a client at a bank or other professional institution, and when you are seated in front of their desk, keep rearranging the items on top into different patterns and tell them you are "just reorganizing things."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Practice the art of limp handshakes
Press the "power" button on on someone's computer or keyboard when they're almost finished typing up a long essay, story etc. Apologize sincerely, claiming that you thought it was the focus adjustment.
Pretend you are invisible.
Pretend you have gone completely deaf.
Pretend your computers mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk into it.
Pretend you're listening.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of FBI copyright warnings.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations.
Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Put everyone on speakerphone.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
Race the old woman for the last bus seat.
Rain on someone's parade.
Read over other people's shoulders on the bus.
Rearrange the keys on associates' keyboards to spell unflattering things about their mothers.
Recite every song from the Playstation games PaRappa the Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy.
Recite Shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.
Recite the first 100 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.
Remove single socks from laundry machines at public laundromats. Replace them bright red scarves which are especially prone to bleeding.
Repeat everything someone says as a question.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Ride a unicycle to work.
Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in.
Run around holding your elbows and asking people to please take the straightjacket off you.
Run through the halls of your office building or school with your arms outstretched, making airplane noises. Periodically crash into pedestrians and lose a wing. Spiral to a crash and repeat.
Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.
Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"
Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend's house who has a piano. Claim you've never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, "I guess I must kinda be a natural."
See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window.
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
Send e-mail to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your agency's programs. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
Send emails to listserv when nobody else can
Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.
Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures.
Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and Twinkies on Thanksgiving.
Set alarms for random times.
Shake with your left hand.
Sharpen All your pencils to the same size EXACTLY.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Sing along at the opera.
Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team.
Slap people and tell them to stop grabbing your ass.
Smell smoke often and announce it.
Snap your gum.
Sniffle incessantly.
Speak in a strong Welsh accent.
Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills.
Spend an entire weekend pretending you are R2-D2.
Spread fertilizer on half your neighbor's lawn.
Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off.
Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."
Start to build a Star Destroyer. Build a mock-up out of popsicle sticks.
Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you.
Step on the heels of the person in front of you, and ask them to watch where they're going.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Surprise old friend's by visiting them at 3AM "to discuss old times".
Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's.
Tailgate the elderly.
Take more than 10 items to the express checkout lane
Take off the eraser to every pencil in your house, or better yet, someone else's house.
Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.
Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.
Tape a blank piece of typing paper to your dorm or office door and leave it up for ages; when someone finally writes on it, yell at them and tell them to please not deface your property.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.
Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.
Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus.
Tell people that they're "putting on weight nicely."
Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.
Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweatpants.
Tell people they have bad breath.
Tell small children that they don't look very promising.
Tell teenagers how things were in your day.
Tell the ending of movies
Throw an Oh Henry in a public pool.
Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
Throw stones at people walking past your house.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Touch strangers.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Try to fit the word "cornucopia" into every sentence you say.
Unbend all the paperclips you can find, then replace every eraser you can find with a rubber band.
Use the last square of toilet paper and do not change the roll.
Vacuum your lawn. (Or preferably somebody else's)
Wait until you get to work to shave.
Walk around at the casino, looking at people's hands and giving them advice loudly. "Wow, that's a GOOD one!" or "Get rid of the nine; you've got a pair of kings!"
Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.
Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"
Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.
Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.
Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you, move in front of them when the try.
Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
Wear a lot\of cologne.
Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
Wear alarming combinations of pink and green and comment about everybody else's fashion sense.
Wear large hats during the movies.
Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.
Wear odd shoes.
Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.
Wear your pants backwards.
When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.
When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.)
When at dinner at a fancy restaurant, keep blowing out the candle in the middle of the table, and blame it on your date.
When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.
When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.
When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."
When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off.
When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.
When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you.
When people ask you to do things, mutter under your breath, "This won't be neccessary where you are going."
When riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, “Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?”
When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."
When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.
When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.
When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.
When walking, talk to yourself constantly.
When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".
Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."
Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.
Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"
Whenever someone lights a cigarette, tackle the person and yell "Stop, drop, and roll!"
While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.
While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive and put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).
Wire up people's cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Paint your windows.
Boil ice cream.
Join Hell's Angels by mail.
Redecorate your garage.
Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids.
Bury your fathers car. Tell your him the dog did it.
Challenge the neighbor kid to duel.
Climb a sidewalk.
Donate your brother's body to science.
Have your cat bronzed.
Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes.
Learn to type...with your toes.
Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins.
Mow your carpet.
Paint your home...day-glo orange.
Pinstripe your driveway.
Plant a shoe.
Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
Plot the overthrow of your local School Board.
Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed.
Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets.
Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)
Ride a loaf of bread.
See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement.
Speak in acronyms.
Take apart all your major kitchen appliances. Mix and match the parts.
Take your sofa for a walk.
Turn your TV picture tube upside down.
Wax the ceiling.

21 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
7. Don't use any punctuation
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
11. Sing along at the Opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why all the poems don’t rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON! I WON!”
16. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,"Run for your lives, they’re loose!!"
17. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
18. Go in front of your classroom and shout "I like pie!"
19. greet all your friends with a tackle.
20. Talk in a news reporters voice for a day
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...
20. Copy and end this list to someone to make them smile...It's called therapy.

I support this a hundred and ten percent.
I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.

Fake Friends?? ... or ... Real Friends?
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

You're a 90's kid if (bold the ones that fit you):

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.(-STILL CAN"T FIND HIM!)
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

. . . Furbies

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.- STILL HAVE IT...
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick. I have one of the originals
You did MASH to figure out your future
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it out.
He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth."
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."

Nice Guys Don't Finish Last

-To every guy that says I love you.

-To every guy that never says 'huh? what did you say? I wasn't listening.'

-To every guy that never yells

-To every guy that would never even think of calling her names, no matter how mad he got

-To every guy that only wants to be with her

-To every guy that calls back after you hang up on him

-To every guy who doesn't get jealous

-To every guy that cooks dinner for her.

-To every guy that said, "Sex can wait."

-To every guy that meant "sex can wait"

-To every guy that said, "You're beautiful."

-To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.

-To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick (And even a stuffed animal perhaps).

-To every guy who has given her flowers just because she is feeling a bit depressed.

-To every guy that said he would die for her.

-To every guy that really would.

-To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

-To every guy that treated her like a princess.

-To every guy that cried in front of her.

-To every guy that she cried in front of.

-To every guy that holds hands with her.

-To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

-To every guy that hugs her when shes sad.

-To every guy who would give their jacket up.

-To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

- To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.

-To every guy that would give his seat up.

-To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

-To every guy that will just sleep (no sex) with her.

-To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what (even if she got fat).

-To every guy who told his secrets to her.

-To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breathe.

-To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

-To every guy that believed in her dreams.

-To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

-To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

-To every guy that wasnt just trying to get laid.

-To every guy that actually listened.

-To every guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face.

This one is for you

Things I Hate About Everybody

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

50 Things A Guy Should Know...

1. We love you if you're sweet, but you can be a little bit of a "bad boy" sometimes. A nice mixture is a turn on.

2. Don't just show up at our house...we run around in our underwear just like you guys do.

3. Be a gentleman in public, be yourself when we're alone.

4. We're not always right, but you damn well better act like we are.

5. Don't cheat on us with our best friend, we will find out and you'll have ruined 2 relationships.

6. Suck up to our parents. We talk about you.

7. Act interested in our makeup/bathing/eating rituals, you may be living with us someday.

8. ALWAYS PUT THE SEAT DOWN WHEN YOU'RE DONE DOING YOUR BUSINESS...falling in a toilet does not turn us on...it just pisses us off.

9. When we say we look like crap, tell us we're beautiful. When we really do look like crap, don't lie...just kiss us.

10. Tell us we're perfect all the time, we may laugh, but eventually you'll convince us.

11. Tell us you love us in front of your friends, to us, that's the declaration of true love.

12. Be sweet to us in front of your friends and be proud to be
whipped cause you know you are.

13. If we slap you hard, you probably deserve it, but we'll forgive you. If we're just playing, it means we want you to touch us.

14. Don't ask if you can kiss or touch us. JUST DO IT! And if you get slapped, it was a bad time and you deserve it.

15. Take things slow...but not too slow.

16. If you don't sleep with us, do not tell your friends that you did.

17. Forgive us if we don't shave our legs everyday...it's the most annoying thing in the world.

18. If we call you, get off the other line no matter who it is! Then tell us, we'll feel special.

19. When we say "I love you" and you don't say it back...Well, you better say it back.

20. If we find out you didn't mean it when you said "I love you" you won't get none from any girl in a 30 mile radius.

21. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of us are not offended by it...it even turns us on.

22. Don't stare at our feet.

23. PMS is just an excuse for us being a bitch and eating excessive ammounts of chocolate.

24. We hate eating in front of you. Do NOT force us to.

25. Whether we're dating or "just friends", never ask us to pay for anything.

26. Spontaneously buying us stuffed animals is very sweet. Taking us to the condom isle in Wal-Mart is not.

27. If our best friend is a guy and we don't talk about him a lot, he really is just a friend.

28. We love it when you act like you know something about cars.

29. If a guy is bothering us, calmly and classy ask him to stop. If he doesn't, knock the shit outta him.

30. Pull us closer if we're talking to a chick friend of yours.

31. Don't lie about anything. We always end up finding out, and when we do, no matter how small it is, we dont trust you for awhile.

32. When we're laying on the couch making out, make sure you have nothing in pockets that can poke us...it really turns us off.

33. When we tickle you, it's because we want to see you smile and squirm.

34. Be careful when tickling us...we tend to jump around and sometimes you guys get hit in the nuts...we really don't mean to and we do feel bad.

35. Go to a chick flick with us once in awhile.

36. Go out of your way to get along with our guy friends...chances are we'd end up picking them over you if it came down to it.

37. Act sad when you don't get to see us, but do NOT get mad.

38. Don't flirt with our moms...it scares us.

39. Don't be afraid of our period. It's not really gross, and it really does make us feel like shit, so you're not the one suffering.

40. If we say stop, you better stop.

41. Don't introduce us as "your friend" if you're dating us.

42. Don't bet on getting us into bed.

43. Get along with our brothers, older cousins, best friends who happen to be bigger than you. They can and will kick your butt if they need too.

44. When we're alone, we know you don't wanna talk, but don't always kiss us, just hold us and be with us. *WINK WINK!*

45. Girls love massages, if we complain something hurts, rub it for us.

46. When we're play fighting/wrestling, don't get too rough, even the toughest girl is fragile.

47. Memorize our birthdays, anniversaries, favorite colors, foods,
animals, ect...

48. Girls like guys to smell good, but too much cologne can gag a girl.

49. A little sucking up to us is good sometimes but we can tell if it's because you did something wrong.

50. Don't date us if all you're interested in is sex, you're A LOT less likely to get it that way.

Okay, this is a new one:

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences...He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26..Ham and eggs.A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have...especially your friends!

Life is too short and friends are too few.

Save the earth; it's the only planet with chocolate.

Superman- "...But we are all in at least one way... each of us are willing to make the sacrifice, a hero is willing to make. Even the ultimate one." (Justice League Unlimited)

Martin the Man Hunter- "...Though we gather here today, bonding together in sorrow and loss...we share a precious gift; we are all of us privileged to live to live a life that has been touched by Superman...the Man of Steel possessed many extraordinary gifts, and shared them with us freely... none of these gifts were more remarkable than his ability to discern what needed to be done. And his unfailing courage in doing it; whatever the personal cost... let us all strive to except his gift... and pass it along... as an on going tribute to Kal-EL of Krypton; the immigrant from the stars. Who taught us all how to be heroes."(Justice League Unlimited)

unknown- "A friend will comfort u when he rejects u, but a BEST FRIEND will go up 2 him, & say, 'IT'S 'CUS UR GAY, ISN'T IT?'"

Me and My Friends Quotes:

(We were passing notes in French class)
Jocelyn- "U complete me."
me- "Look! i got 2 color ur heart."
Jocelyn- "U r the apple in my eye."
me- "...this is getting werid, so i'll say potato."
Jocelyn- "... How about potato in my eye?"
me- "... WHAT?!... wait a minute... YOU GOT A POTATO IN UR EYE?"
Jocelyn- "No,haha..ha..ha...maybe."

(We were talking at lunch about something NOT important)
me- "Ur scarying me to death."
Jocelyn- "That's what i'm going for."
me- "Great. I have a killer whew thinks SHE'S SO FUNNY!"

(Going to math... when i see someone i really hate and i THINK she LOVES ME?!)

me- "Great. Just ggrreeaattt. You, know I've always wanted a stocker."

(This is the one time it's going to be a touching moment)
My sister Lauren- "I LLLOOVVVVEEEE u!" hugging me.
me- "Get off." Trying to break out of the scary moment.

(Lauren and my friend Kieth)
Lauren- "Kieth, i got to ask u something..."
Kieth- "Okay, shoot."
Lauren- "Fabulous" with the gay( don't b offended, i don't hate gays.)hand wave.
Keith- " NO! i say gorgeous"

(@ our lockers... then going 2 lunch.)
Jocelyn- "So ur crazy?"
me- "What!... uh, no."
Jocelyn- "Okay...so ur nuts instead?"
me- "Fine... i'm (I think for a minute)... you know what... i am crazy."
Jocelyn- "Well, that took oh, what? 3 minutes of my life that i wont get back. Thanks for noting you little, jerk." and walks away
me(i stand there will sad eyes)- "I will never get what she means by that." shake head and walk slowly after her.

(This one, is srry, again, a touching moment... it will make u cry and laugh at the same time. it was on ALL our rides home from school.)
My mom- "how was school, hun."
me- "Boring."
my mom- "Sounds fun."(the rest of the way is quiet... i told u it would make u cry!)

(@ lunch with Kieth)
me- "My life is Boring. What about u?"
Kieth- "I don't know. I'm a model, so i don't know what boring REALLY is."
me(walk away rolling my eyes)- "WELL, THAT'S 'CUS UR BLOND."
Kieth( doesn't even know i left. And just sits there...)- "ooh...look, Olivia(He points to the senior's tables. This SHOW HOW BLOND HE REALLY IS) they are seniors...Olivia?"(Some blonds find everything is interesting. This is funny cus well he JUST notice the SENIOR TABLES EVEN THOUGH WE R PRETTY MUCH DONE WITH OUR FRESHMEN YEAR!!)

My band teacher- "Dummers QUIET! I HATE MUSIC!"

This happened right before homeroom one morning)
me- "GOD, i HATE this school."
Jocelyn- "u can't say that. We go to a Catholic School u moron."
Sarah- "u can't say moron u idiot!"
(Keith, the only guy,aw, any ways,we begin to argue)
Kieth(he rolls his eyes)- "Why do i hang these girls?"

Fairly Odd Parents- "You can't say moron on the radio, you can only say it on t.v."

me- "Blah,Blah, then she said;and Blah,blah... Kieth r u even listening to me?"
Kieth- "huh? Did u say something?"

"You know i went to Mars, and guess what? THERE WERE NO HOT MEN!!But i've also been to Vermont, and u know what? I think I'll take Mars over hippies."-Me

"Happy Bunnies running through the forest... now sing it with me...(My friend,Sam, just looks at me)... what? I just want to be friendly."

I shrug,"What! God!...No wait! Gosh, not God. Hehe."

"Your pockets ringing."

Dead Silent room. Nobody breaths with the most meanest substitute teacher... and what happens? My phone goes off.

"Happy ohh, Happy day d-d-day!" everyone stares at me. The teacher comes to my desk.

"Excuse me, I have to take this," I pull the phone out and answer it...,"uh...no...k,bye." The teacher goes away and I put my phone away.

After Class. "So how called?" Jocelyn asks

"...the pizza guy. He just called to ask what I wanted on my pizza, again." I start walking away.

"Again?" Jocelyn questions.

"I play my Gee-TARE!"

"What the HELL IS GEE-TARE?"

"Well its...uhmm... its... I don't know."

"Look at me... stop STARRING!"

"The eyes, They bore into me!"

"Hold on, I think i'm having a spasm."

"You okay?"

"...yeah. The spasm wasn't a spasm, that's all."

"Then what was it?"

"...something with God? Epiphany?"

"K"

"whats up?"

"nothin'"

"Than whats up?"

"Nothin"

"The sky is has already fallen! AHHHHHHHHH!"

"I have a crazy friend." walks away.

In Math class:

whispers "Look at the rain outside."-me

"Holy shit!"- Sam

"It's raining"-me

"and lighting"-Sam

-zap- "CRAP! lighting!"- I yell..

"I don't know why I can't live with the zombies! I just don't!"-me

"What's gonna happen now?"

"We go back to normal?"

"What's normal?"

"Ha. Right!...you..don..."

"...Okay, your NOT kidding. Awh, well, I-"

"Well 'cuz there is no such thing as 'back to normal'. 'Cuz everyones NOT the same. We're all different. So normal is different for everyone. So, technologically, there is no such thing as 'BACK TO NORMAL'!..."

"I'm, gonna... go, now."

"...K! -giggles- See you later!" i walk away.( yes i am this crazy, but a great party maker.)

"-Scared- Bye?!"

"I must be emo."

"We kno ppl tht r victims of MR!"

"I saw a saw and it was vibrating."

"Unicorns ride rainbows."

"Game Over."

"You just Lost the game."

Everyone groans and complains

"I don't care if you have a 15 hooker gang-bang!"

"I want my money and i want it, NOW!"

"Geesh, gosh! ok. DO you want it in all ones or...what?" -Stare-

"Okay. Ones it is 3 hundred bucks in all ones coming up."

'This is why i hate coming to banks.'

At breakfast w/ my sister: (goes sister then me talking)

"So srry. I heard about the 'MR' thing. Too bad."

"Lauren, YOU DON'T EEEEVVVVEEEENNN know what it is."

"Well that ones easy, it's a ... MR is... MR is somebody that you like, right?"

"...not...even close." I take my cereal and leave the room.

"WHAT?! WHAT!? Tell me what it is then!!" Following me.

"...not with the answer you just gave me!"

"we're on a bridge, a bridge of JOY and WONDER, Olivia."

"Auhhh..." me, well i just walk away.

"Come back! How can we get to the banana King if we don't go over the magical bridge."

I turn around "I was joking about the DAM BANANA KING!"

"No, no, NO! YOU SAID YOU WENT THERE!"

"and they call me blond." Then i flee, leaving my friend alone...on a bridge...over this small brook. (you have to admit, it was so funny to watch her there, trying to get to the Banana King, but the depressing part, she was there for 3 hours...in the rain...with no jacket. Moron!But THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HER!)

With my grandma at the nursing home:

"So hows the weather outside?"

"Its great...cold but great."

"So when are you going back to college."

"I'm not KT, Botchie. I'm Olivia. Only a freshmen... in high school."

"So hows the weather outside. I'm shivering. Cold. God it is FREEZING in here."

"Botchie, it's...( I look at the thermometer) 95 degrees in here!!...no, that can't be right?" SO i looked at it again, it was.

"So hows the weather?"

'she's hopeless.'

MR!AHHHH!

"Funny shit right, funny shit."

At the doctors:( AAHHH! Needles!)

"Olivia, I'm sorry to say this but, they dropped you on you head when you were a baby."

"..." I stare at the doctor

"I'm just kidding." The doctor bursts out laughing

"... that's all i have to say to that."

"You didn't say anything." The doctor stops laughing

"That's my point. I SAID nothing. 'Cuz ypou brought up a very rough moment in...-sniffle-...my child...-sniffle-...hood."

The doctor looks at me with sorry in his eyes "Here, have some candy, i;m sorry." walks away.

i take the candy, while looking at it evilly. "Wow -wiping the fake tears away- that was easy as pie. I should REALLY do that more often." I then laugh evilly.

"Bonjour! Commont ca va?"

"What... and the Whaty?"

"..."-sigh from my friend, Jocelyn- "I said hello and how are you."

"Shaw, I knew that. Phiesh."

Me and my sister were at home alone and this is what made us laugh soo hard. I was singing to a song while on the computer and she was watching a movie. She threw a pillow at me to stop. I stopped my music and asked, " what would happen if you threw a sharp object and it hit me in the neck?"I dramatically showed her the blood spurting out of my neck with my hand.She didn't turn to look at me or anything and simply replied, " Hey you. Will you stop bleeding over there? I'm trying to watch a movie."

"Olivie, what are you on? Crack?"

"...If I told you then it wouldn't be a secret and you wouldn't be asking which in return I would STILL be high, either way."

"? What? That didn't make sense,i-"

"Oh that it did my friend, that it did. It's just to much for you tiny brain to handle." I stick out my tongue.

"Okay, Stick out her hand give me the stuff your on right now. It's melting your brain." We straggle with my back pack. She wins. And pulls out a brown bag full of candy. "What the HELL is THIS?

I look innocent as possible "... my high..?"

"Candy? angry and throws the bag in my face Candy is your kind of crack?!"

"Well, duh. It's less expensive."

"Cheap oh'" Throwing the candy back into my back pack.

"What!? You want me to buy crack that costs so mush! I still can't even slimy buy the candy!"

"...Well, yeah, so I can get an award for stopping you."She walks away fast.

"...?! ...Do I even want to kno.?"

"Hive Five, what you say?"

"5,5 dollar,5 dollar foot long..."

"What the HELL are you saying?"

"Your just mad 'cuz i sound like one of those Subway commercials."-In a British Accent-

"That's what I thought."

"you say, with out a doubt, the most randomness things, you know that?"

"...look a tree...look.." I go off in my world.

"She'll never gonna get out of this one...wait! Be Ca-"

Wham! "Ow. Who the HELL put the... light pole in the middle of the dam PARKING LOT!"

"Uhmm, i don't know Olivia, hmmm, maybe the CONSTRUCTION WORKERS!"

"... I get it. Your just mad that i'm the most funnest, craziest, looniest, person you'll ever meet. It's okay... let the emotion out... and stop HATEN' 'cuz of my beautiful craziness, looniest, but funnest. "

"...WOW... that's all i have to say."

"I know really?" I friend rolls her eyes and walks away, "Hey! wait come Back!"

"I like your family. Their such a party!"

"Yeah, like 'cut the bull crap with a match. I suggest you don't put them together.'" my friend just stares at me," my brothers words not mine."

"h-hi, i-I'm C-Chucky. wanna be MY FRIEND?" Lighting blot strikes, power goes off,"Mwuahhha!..," comes out with a knife/ lights turn on. Then Chucky come to the camera,"I'm gonna get yah!"

"whateva.Gosh! Your just like my little sister... but a little skinner though."

"Shut up you retarded midget!"

"I'm not a midget. I'm just premature."

"Rrriiiiigggghhhhhtttt. Keep telling yourself that."

"MOM!"

Things me and my friends always say to these things:

Fighting's not the answer!- you say
What's the question?...Again?- we answer

You're a moron!- you say
More on than off!- we answer

"Whatcha Doing?'

"Give it to me high!"

My favorite quotes from shows:

Chloe: Let's face it, Clark, I'm a walking time bomb!
Clark: Then consider me your own personal bomb squad.

Chloe: Clark, i need you to x-ray me.
Clark: What?!
Chloe: C'mon. Just do it! We're both adults here!

"Gosh, Clark. I didn't realize super-whining was one of your powers."
- Chloe, "Mortal"

Lex Luthor: I am the villain of this story. from the episode Onyx

Lex Luthor: I've been thinking about that prophecy. I've got a new interpretation. Want to hear it?
Clark: Yeah.
Lex Luthor: This Naman guy is supposed to come from the stars, have the power of ten men, and shoot fire from his eyes, right?
Clark: It's just an allegory, Lex.
Lex Luthor: I know. But if one person could do all that, he'd be a formidable enemy. He could conquer the world. He could become a tyrant if no one kept him in check. So I've been thinking...anybody who'd be willing to fight him would have to be pretty brave. Clark, did it ever occur to you that the hero of the story...is Ziget? from the episode Talisman

Clark Kent: I've been in contact with a lot of krypton-infected people, and it never ends with us shaking hands or being friends from the episode Extinction

Lex Luthor: Do you believe there are aliens among us, Clark? From the episode Visitor

Dr. Swann: The one thing I've learned about science is the value of faith.

Clark Kent: My family doesn't fly much.

Lex Luthor: Trust me – that's about to change. From the episode Nocturne

Jonathan Kent: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions! From the episode Tempest

Clark Kent: I stand for Truth, Justice, and...ummm, other stuff. From the episode Drone

Lex Luthor: "Dad, you have no idea what I'm capable of." From the Episode Hothead

Lex Luthor: It's not about the ending, it's about the journey. From the episode Hug

Lex Luthor: Trust me, Clark. Our friendship is going to be the stuff of legend. From the episode Hug

one PAYDAY MR.PEANUT wanted a BIT O'HONEY, so he took MARY JANE behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVENUE. he began to feel her MOUNDS. that was pure ALMOND JOY. it made her TOOTSIE ROLL. he let out a SNICKER as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICYFRUIT and caused a MILKY WAY. she screamed OH HENRY as she squeezed her PETER PAUL and ZAGNUTS. MARY JANE said "you are better than the THREE MUSKETEERS." soon she was a bit CHUNKY and nine months later had a BABY RUTH.

TXT's with my friend SAM!!!(This is going to get interesting...)

me-we hav school 2day. ewww.

sam- yeah. i kno

me-maybe i'll just...

sam- no u hav 2 go

me- but...

sam- i said no. Now go get DRESSED!

me- ...yes MOTHER! but Johnny doesn't hav 2 go (Johnny is a fictional character i made up on this spot)

sam- its not my fault he is weak

me- yeah i kno... but don't we kill th weak?

sam- bcuz sweetheart... thts illegal.

me-...wat does our current situation hav 2 do wit it bing legal or not?

sam-...he your...

me- dont say it! I DONT WANT 2 HERE IT!

sam-...well then GET DRESSED!

me- ...uhm...how do u kno im not?!

sam-...I...kno...u

-ten mintues later-

me- ...so ill c u @ school?

sam- yeah meet u in front.

Girl:Hey.

Boy: uhm? Hi.

Girl: Whats up?

Boy: nothing is there a reason your talking to me?

Girl: well i sort of like you.

Boy: ???

Girl: do you like me back?

Boy:well uhm your like what 3 years younger than me..?

Girl: oh. Okay well i get it. Bye. bye.

Two weeks later. The boy saw the girl on the news,-she hung herself. She left a note that said, "Age shouldn't matter. I will always love you."

One week later. The boy was on the news- he hung himself too, but he wrote on the wall and it said, "I was wrong, age shouldn't matter. Your were right. I love you forever and always."

Post this on your wall if you think age shouldn't matter for who you love.

In Death Series Quotes (Ones that made me laugh to hard...)

Eve: “Roarke who?”

Feeney: “Just Roarke, as far as I know. Big money there. Kind of guy that touches shit and turns it into gold bricks. You’ve got to start reading more than the sports page, Dallas.”

Eve: “Hey, I read the headlines. Did you hear about the cocker spaniel recall?”

- Naked in Death

"So Do I remind you of

SoMeOnE you never met

A LONELY SiLhOuETtE

And do I remind you of

SoMeOnE you WANNA be

So far out of R E A C H

Ohhh I WISH you'd OpEn up for me

Cause I WANNA know you

Amaryllis

BLOOM."

-SHINEDOWN- AMARYLLIS

"Have YOU ever stepped OUT of the light

To see that there IS a STRANGER inside?"- SHINEDOWN-STRANGER INSIDE

"Every night of my LIFE,

I watch angels fall from the

SKY,

Every time the SUN still SeTs

I pray they DON'T take mine."

Diamond EYES By SHINEDOWN

Put this on your
site if you support
Emos...

You say Pink
I say Black
You say Paris Hilton
I say Billie Joe Armstrong
You say Zac Effron
I say Gerard Way
You say Pop
I say Rock
You say I'm Weird
I say I'm Different

THINGS I DID TODAY!
1. Dug a hole.
2. named it LOVE
3. watched people fall in love

Buy a sword. Name it kindness. Kill people with kindness

:This is a blue rose,

:Keep it close,

:And pray to GOD you don't choke

:For what may COME

:You surely will DIE,

:Break out in sweats

:Just to mask the TEARS

:That fall down your face

:And REMEMBER that it's just another year

:And it wont be done so quickly.

:Remember the BROKEN dreams

:Of this SWEET nightmare

:Smile BRIGHTLY

:And CARRY ON...for we are WAITING for YOU LOVE

BY: LIVI :)

HERE IS MY FAVORITE SONGS:

ONE DAY TOO LATE

BY SKILLET

"Tick tock", hear the CLOCK countdown
*Wish* the minute HAND could be rewound
So much to DO and so much I need to SAY
Will tomorrow be too late?

Feel the moment slip INTO the past
LIKE sand through an hourglass
In the MADNESS, I guess, I just forget
To do all the things I said

Time passes by, never thought I'd wind up
One step behind, now I've made my mind up

Today, I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today, I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late
One day too late, one day too late

Tick tock, hear my life pass by
I can't erase and I can't rewind
Of all the things I regret the most I do
Wish I'd spent more time with you

HERE'S my chance for a NEW beginning
I saved the best for a better ending
In the end I'll make it up to you
You'll see, you'll get the very best of me

Time passes by, never thought I'd wind up
One step behind, now I've made my mind up

Today, I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today, I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late

Your time is running out
You're never gonna get it back
So make the most of every moment
-STOP- saving the best for last

Today, I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today, I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late

One day too late, one day too late
One day too late, one day too late

Kiss My Gentle Burning Bruise

SHOVE your KISS STRAIGHT THROUGH my CHEST

If we’re gonna die,

Bury us alive.

If they’re searching for us,

They’ll find us

SIDE

by

Side

The World is full of King and QUEENS,

Who BLIND your eyes

And

Steal your dreams

Heaven and Hell

By: Black Sabbath