Here we go again :D, if you're new to this series you might want to read, at the least, "You Give Me Chills." This will all make so much more sense, hahaha.

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You know what they never told Emma? That being a sheriff meant doing so much god damn paper work; seriously it was like more than half the job. That was why she was sitting indoors on this beautiful day, staring at a stack of paper as she occasionally looked to her windows with longing and sighed. She wondered if Hook would come to annoy her today since she wasn't out patrolling. Sure she hadn't seen him in about three days but she wasn't worried, he was just nursing his pride back to health this time.

She found herself smiling as she recalled his incredulous face when he'd walked into the dinner with marker all over his it, unaware as to why half the town was laughing their asses off. She knew she was probably going to pay dearly for her little marker stunt sooner or later, after all Hook wasn't the kind of guy to let something like having his face vandalized go unanswered. The thought of his retribution was almost enough to make her regret the trick...

Ha, who was she kidding? If she was given a do over she'd have done the same damn thing, it had been beyond priceless. For everything else there were her credit cards. It was just after that thought that her phone rang...

She welcomed the interruption from the incredibly dull task of filling forums out, rolling her chair over to the next desk with the phone on it.

"Sheriffs office."

"Hello Swan," a seductive playful voice answered, sending chills up her spine.

"Hook," she returned tersely, "I didn't know you knew how to work a phone."

"Wait till I learn how to text."

"God help us all." He chuckled and the hair raised on the back of her neck, he was turning the flirt up to eleven and he'd barely said anything yet.

"What have you done?" she demanded.

"I make a simple phone call and you assume I'm up to something?" he asked, attempting to sound offended but ruining it with the amusement in his voice.

"Are you breathing?"

"Last I checked," he said

"You're up to something." He laughed again at that.

"Your instincts serve you well darling," he admitted "I've something on the agenda today."

"Care to enlighten me?" Emma asked almost hesitantly

"Revenge," he answered casually. Oh crap.

"Can't say I wasn't expecting it, how is your face?" she asked, unable to hold back a small grin.

"It took three days of scrubbing to restore my rugged good looks, you tell me." She almost laughed but managed to smother the urge.

"I regret nothing."

"Not yet you don't," he told her, sounding alarmingly mischievously.

"I'm shaking in my boots," she answered sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this Swan." Ok, that was eerie.

"Bring it on cabin boy," she dared. My god, was she actually enjoying this?

"I do so love it when you issue me a challenge," he purred.

"Hanging up on you now," she sighed, making to put the receiver down. However his voice caught her ear before she could hang up.

"You looked bored Swan, you should get out today."

Emma's eyes widened as she ripped herself out of her chair and went to the window, looking for Hook. She saw him leaning against a building across the street, looking back as he closed a cell phone one handed. He gave her a cheeky grin and a lazy two finger salute before turning and disappearing into an alley. Emma was about to go grab her coat and go after him but was interrupted by the phone ringing. She went to her desk and quickly picked up the phone.

"Sheriffs office."

"Someone broke into my store!" a congested voice told her frantically

"Sneezy?" Emma asked as a light began to flash on the call waiting board.

"Hold on," she said, putting him on hold.

"Sheriffs office."

"Emma," Blue said, sounding alarmed, "Someone broke into the nunnery!"

"Ok, I'll -" another light started flashing on the board and she felt her stomach drop into her feet. That son of a bitch.

"One second Blue," Emma said, quickly picking up the next call.

"Sheriffs office, someone broke in?" she said before the person on the other end could say anything.

"How did you know?" Ruby asked, sounding puzzled.

"I have a feeling I'm going to have a hell of a story for you later," Emma growled "I'll get there as soon as I can."

She went to see Sneezy first. The door had been pried open, nothing was broken but a chain, a stereo and a padlock were missing. Also a note had been left on the counter, weighed down by one gold coin. She picked up the coin and examined how it gleamed for a moment before she opened the folded parchment to read the two words written in elegant script.

I hope…

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Sneezy asked after a particular violent sneeze.

"I don't have a damn clue" Emma admitted.

She had to listen to Sneezy complain through his congestion for a half hour, taking his statement before she could finally head over to the nunnery. Her cell phone started to ring as soon as she got in the car.

"Emma speaking."

"That Dwarf should really see a doctor," Hook's voice said "that simply can not be normal."

"How the hell did you get my number?"

"Not telling." She could almost hear him grinning.

"If this is the best you got Hook I've gotta say, not impressed," she made sure he could hear how unimpressed she was as she started her car.

"Oh Swan, I think you know me better then that." She looked down at the note in her hand before putting the car in drive.

"You hope for what?" she asked, re-reading the words.

"I guess you'll find out," he whispered secretively before hanging up.

Next she went to the nunnery where Blue was waiting for her. Half of the candles they were to sell had been stolen.

"Who would steal candles from nuns?" Blue asked, confused.

"A pirate daring God to smite him," Emma answered, severely annoyed.

"This was left behind in their place," Blue said, holding up a gold coin and another piece of folded parchment.

"I think I'm sensing a theme here," she muttered as Blue handed both items to her. She slipped the coin into her pocket to be taken into evidence with the other one before opening the parchment and reading the next two words.

…You enjoy…

"Why leave the gold coin?" Blue asked, looking utterly confused by the theft.

"If I had to hazard a guess?" Emma said, folding the note and slipping it into her pocket, "he wants me to know it's him," she sighed "he's a bit of a diva like that."

"What are you going to do when you catch him?" Blue asked as Emma strode off to get in the town police car.

"Take extreme pleasure in throwing his ass in jail" she called over her shoulder. She'd barely pulled out of the Nuns driveway when her phone started ringing again. She didn't even bother saying anything when she pressed it to her ear, she knew who it was now.

"Having fun yet Swan?" Hook asked

"I see you are, shopping are we?" she said turning onto the main road to drive back into town, she was on her way to Ruby's now.

"Oh you know, just picking up a few things here and there," he answered vaguely.

"Also known as stealing."

"Just a bit of fun love-"

"No, no, no," Emma cut in, bullshit radar already going off loud and clear in her head.

"You are not random Stan, you're a man with a plan. What the hell are you pulling here?" Emma demanded, because the not knowing was actually worse than if he just all out embarrassed the hell out of her with some of his pirate trickery.

"One, I already said I'm not telling. Two, who's this fellow Stan?"

She was about to tell him there was no Stan, it was just a saying, but there was a note in his voice that stopped her for a second. When she realized what it was she very nearly bust out laughing.

"Oh my god. I did not just hear jealousy in your voice."

"Have I any reason to be?" he inquired seriously.

"Of imaginary Stan?" she asked sardonically, "he still has a better chance at me than you do Hook"

"Oh Swan," he tutted like she was naughty child, "stop pretending you don't love this dance."

"Sure, I just love having my toes stepped on," Emma rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see it.

"You know there's no need to invent suitors when I'm ready and willing." She could practically see him wagging his eyebrows. How did he make innocent words sound so fucking suggestive?

"I'm not inventing suitors," she told him derisively.

"But you are growing tired of thwarting my advances."

"Oh I don't know about that, after all I do it so well," she replied sweetly.

"Not half as well as you like to think darling, I seem to recall a night where I grew ill-"

"FYI? Worst patient ever" Emma interjected.

"-and you cared for me, oh so tenderly…" God damnit, he was actually making her blush over the phone.

"Stroking my hair-" he continued softly.

"You were suppose to be asleep!" she yelped into the phone before she could stop herself.

"Don't be embarrassed love, you can stroke anything of mine you like."

"What else were you awake for you bastard?" Emma demanded past grit teeth.

"Why Swan, are you implying I may have missed you having your way with me in my weakened state?" he asked in faux shock.

"You wish you pervert, you grabbed my ass," she seethed.

"Did I?" he asked playfully "that sounds most unlike me." Oh he was definitely grinning.

"You're gonna need another Hook when I'm done with you," she said, grip tightening on her phone as she took a turn a little faster than necessary.

"After all of your hard work to return me to health?" he pouted.

"The 'tender caring' you mentioned was me paying a debt," she said, sounding just a bit to defensive, "I'm all paid up, so make your move cabin boy." See? she could put annoying emphasis's on her words to.

"Well, you're almost paid in full," he said airily.

"Like hell 'almost,' I am paid in full!" she growled into the receiver, braking hard enough at a red light to make her tires squeal in protest.

"Now what. The hell. Are you up too?" Emma demanded, each sentence pointed. She heard him give a long almost burdened sigh.

"Fine Swan, if you absolutely insist I shall divulge my dastardly plan to you." There was a silence in the wake of the sincerity in his voice as she pulled up to Ruby's apartment.

"… Wait, seriously?" Emma asked, cautiously skeptical as she put the vehicle in park. His answer was to chuckle before she heard the line go dead. He'd hung up on her.

"Uhg, asshole!" she hissed, throwing her phone into the passenger seat angrily.

Ruby opened her door looking utterly pissed about two seconds after she knocked.

"Your boy toy was in my apartment," she told Emma angrily

"He's not my boy toy!" Red rolled her eyes and stepped aside to let her in.

"Yeah well, if he's not careful he'll be my chew toy next full moon" she growled, slamming the door closed.

"What did he take?" Emma asked.

"My CD's" Ruby huffed, leading her to the crime scene - her CD rack.

"The good ones to, my favourite John Mayer album is missing."

Wow, people still buy CD's? Emma pondered aside.

"Seriously? Wouldn't it be easier if Hook just got a damn itunes account?" Emma grumbled. She paused as if hearing her own words clearly for a moment and recognising how utterly insane they sounded. Captain Hook with an itunes account.

"My god, this is my life," she muttered, face palming. Emma didn't get it - what the hell was Hook going to do with candles, a single padlock, a chain, a boom box and now a handful of Ruby's CD's?

"He'd probably download music illegally," Ruby grumbled under her breath as she looked mournfully at the rack of her extensive CD collection, eyes lingering on the gaps where some were missing.

"Ok, give me the note," Emma said holding out her hand.

"How did you know there was a note?" Ruby asked, pulling the parchment from her pocket.

"It's been his MO today, so to speak. Keep it," she said when Ruby tried to hand her the gold coin as well. She took the folded parchment and opened it.

"I'll admit, I didn't get it," Ruby shrugged as she watched her read the message. Emma's eyes nearly bugged out of her head reading the two words written there.

"Oh shit." Emma dropped the note and ran, shooting out the door like a rocket without any explanation whatsoever.

"Emma!" Ruby called after her, a bit alarmed. But it was to late, she was gone. She picked up the note and read it again.

…These Distractions.

"I will never understand these two" Ruby sighed.

...

Thank to old and new readers, and those who leave comments! Hope your having fun, have a good one! :D