If you think my Profile is way too long... You should just skip it... (I would...)

Hi my name is... Cinzia

Age: I am currently 14 (but not for long anymore!!)

Nationality: I'm Dutch

Hair: Red, with an occasionally green fringe...

Height: I'm 1.70 which is 5.7 foot (I think...)

Eyes: my eyes are very dark Brown

Pottermore Name: MoonstoneSnitch30769

House: Slytherin

Wand: 14,5 Inches, Hazel, Unicorn Core, Unyielding

People say I'm gothic but I'm not. I just like black and dressing up in only black and wearing black eye make-up and stuff. That doesn't make you gothic, does it?

But as you see I'm not you stereotypical Dutch women.

Favourite Books: I'm totally obsessed with Harry Potter. But I also love Darkest Powers Trilogy, Alex Rider Series, a Series of unfortunate Events, Percy Jackson, Artemis Fowl, Hunger Games book 1 and 2 (I swear I've never hated any book before as much as I hate Mocking Jay), Le Guerre del Mondo Emerso, the Quickening Trilogy, Inkheart Trilogy, Ranger's Apprentice, Eon, Women of the Otherworld, Ella Enchanted, Hush Hush and Crescendo, the DaVinci Code, City of Bones, and many more... (But I can't think of them now)

Least Favourite Books: TWILIGHT!!!, and Mocking Jay

Favourite tv series: Ben 10 ultimate alien, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Big Bang Theory, Castle, The Mentalist, Nikita

Favourite Music: I love Flyleaf, Within Temptation, Paramore and All Time Low. I also listen to Sonata Arctica, Emilie Autumn, Evanescence, My Chemical Romance and Panic! At the Disco.
I am also in love with all the songs from AVPM, AVPS, MAMD, Starship and HMB.

Stories so far: (2)

Black Fire:

Bella Swan never loved Edward Cullen. In fact, she wasn't even Bella Swan. As her best friends come to get her Dessa Potter goes back to Hogwarts, but what will happen if the Cullens come too, determined to get her back? Rating may chance. Dessa/Sirius

All that matters:

Tonks is looking for her husband in the midst of the great war.
Written for Avatarluvs "One Word" Challenge...

Favourite Pairings:

Lily and James (Harry Potter)

Harry and Ginny (Harry Potter)

Fred and Hermione (Harry Potter)

Draco and Hermione (Harry Potter)

Sirius and Hermione (But only with TimeTravel stories)

Scorpius and Rose (Harry Potter)

Violet and Quigley (a Series of unfortunate events)

Percy and Annabeth (Percy Jackson)

Holly and Artemis (Artemis Fowl)

Dubhe and Learco (le Guerre del Mondo Emerso)

Meggie and Farid (Inkheart)

Will and Alyss (Ranger's Apprentice)

Ella and Char (Ella Enchanted)

Nora and Patch (Hush Hush)

Elena and Clay (WotW)

92 of the teenage population would be dead if the Jonas Brothers decides breathing wasn't cool. I am one of the 8 that would be laughing hysterically in the background.

90 of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing at the edge of a six story building. Post this on your page if you would be one of the 10 of people who would be yelling "Jump, Jump!"

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Ginormous Funtastic Everything, Kara Hitame, HopelessxRomanticx1993, boyzaremylife, September5Rhyme (and proud to do so), HisokaYukiko, fullmetal'sgirl92, DarkRose02, devotedtodreams, The Misadventures of Miyako, AkUrO HaChIrObEi, Livelifetothefullest4e, GivetheRabbitthefreakintrix, The Evil Policifer

Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity... Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.

- Stephen King

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees. (silly draco, you're sexier!)

Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid. (be afraid...)

Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.

Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.

Sirius Black … killed by drapery.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggleborn – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.

Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.

Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a cliff, I laugh harder!

I ran with scissors and lived.

You never know how strong you are untill being strong is the only choice you have.

Pickles are cucumblers soaked in evil!

Everyone thinks of changing the world. No one thinks about changing themselves.

Save the world, it's the only planet with chocolate! (I've got a t-shirt with that phrase...)

Do not interrupt me when I am talking to myself.

Who are you to judge me I know I am not perfect and I don't claim to be but before you start pionting fingers make sure your hands are clean.

Brunettes make better Psychos

Why yes, I do spontaneously break out into ninja moves.

Be back in 5 minutes if not read this again.

Thank you captain obvious.

Yes I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around my room thank you very much.

When words fall music speaks.

I'm not crazy my reality is just different than yours.

Gone crazy! Be back soon.

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.

My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.

Just remember if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

What's this "normal" you speak of? Is it contagious! Don't touch me I might catch your "normal"!

I smile because i have no idea what is going on.

I'm the kinda girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence about one thing tht happened yesterday.

Would you like a side of epic with that fail.

I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me?

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone!

3 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Your a book-aholic if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Harry's the bravest

Ron's the most oblivious

Hermione's the smartest

Ginny's the toughest

Neville's the clumsiest

Luna's the weirdest

Dumbledore's the greatest

McGonagall's the strictest

Snape's the greasiest

Nick is the ghostiest

Crabbe's the dumbest

Goyle's the largest

Fred is the funniest

Cho is the sappiest

But Draco Malfoy can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone else jealous!!! :)

Lost your pen = No pen

No pen = No notes

No notes = No study

No study = Fail

Fail = No diploma

No diploma = No job

No job = No money

No money = No food

No food = Skinny

Skinny = Ugly

Ugly = No love

No love = No marriage

No marriage = No children

No children = Alone

Alone = Depression

Depression = Sickness

Sickness = Death

So Don't Lose Your Pen... You Will Die...

If you're a bookworm and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

My name is May

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says it's my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is May

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

If you care at all about this poor child, paste it onto your profile, before it's too late...

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy...

it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this psas it on !!

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it

3.The first truth is a lie

4. You're smiling now because you are an idiot

6. You soon will forward this on to another idiot

7. There is still a stupid smile on your face

8. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote than just press the buttons on the TV

9. As you read this, you keep smiling and nodding to yourself

10. As you read this, you think about sending it to all your friends.

11. And you were too busy to notice number 5 was missing.

12. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

13. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

14. Copy and paste this to your profile if you fell for it, and I know you did.

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and put this on your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle)...

About 6 years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by 5 girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge the police were called. They went down and brought up 17 year old Carmen Winstead's body, her neck broke hitting the ladder, then side concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: 2 months ago, 16 year old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower he heard laughter from his shower, he started freaking out and ran to his computer to repost it, He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, 5 hours later his mom woke up in the middle of the night cause of a loud noise, David was gone, that morning a few hours later the police found him in the sewer, his neck broke and his face skin peeled off.

If you don't repost this saying "She was pushed" or "They pushed her down a sewer" Then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you

" SHE WAS PUSHED"

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're g*y, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DANG! we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste"

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost

If you hate soggy fries, mysterious disappearing profiles, getting up before 10:45am on any given day, stupid people, "popular" kids, wanna-be Britneys, Paris Hilton, leafy veggies, warm soda, the killing-off of Sirius Black, getting disconnected from the internet, not being able to find the remote, living without cable, dropping your ice cream scoop, clowns who take their jobs WAY too seriously, hypocritical teachers who don’t like being corrected by you, arcades cheating you off your tokens, losing all your left socks, finding expired food in your bag, dropping soap bars while bathing, city-wide blackouts, cockroaches that crawl over you hand, dropping sewing needles in the couch, people who don’t flush the toilet, annoying waiters, teachers who repeat themselves, the sound of chewing, breaking a lucky number 2 pencil during a test, weird dogs popping out at you, perverted stalker fans, getting tanned, brushing your teeth after drinking orange juice, spinach, people who flame fanfic authors, people who write and post crap on the net, getting lost in a mall, losing a small screw, random plungers being flung at your head causing you to lose the small screw, dropping your cell phone thrice within 30 minutes, typos, post-its that don’t stick, the obsolete VCD, word problems you can’t solve, annoyingly hard logic puzzles, a dripping faucet, not being able to sleep at night, falling asleep in the bathroom, losing, slurping soup with soup spoons, not being able to get that last drop of diet coke in a can, getting paper cuts, finding mysterious bruises on your body, that annoying itch that won't go away no matter how much you scratch it, being called ‘sensitive’ by people whose asses you could kick hands down, not knowing what certain words mean, not having a dictionary to use for knowing what certain words mean, flies that annoy you while you’re eating, forgetting to zip up your fly, sitting in an ant hill, fanfictions that have waaaaaaaaaaaay too many chapters simply because the chapters are realyreallyreallyreally short, not being able to solve a rubix cube under a time limit, not being able to solve a rubix cube, people that beg you for money on Runescape, running out of fishing bait on RuneScape, people asking you to be their gf/bf on RuneScape, people calling you a noob on Runescape when you're 40 levels higher than them and could pwn them in under a minute, the tortuously long wait for your next Netflix disk to hurry up and come already, boring rip-off movies that last for hours, horrible endings to good movies, missing your favorite TV shows, the cancellation of a good show, the end of INU-YASHA, forgetting what you were thinking of 3 seconds ago, watches that say ‘waterproof’ but are not, having cheese stuck under your nails while eating popcorn, having to tell a joke three or more times for people to get it, having a person tell you a joke three or more times cuz you don't get it, mocha-flavored candy, forgetting to write your name on your test paper, forgetting your own birthday was yesterday, people who want you to give a shit, people who suck up to the teacher just because they’re failing the subject for the third time, people who pee on walls, people who think Salmonella is a person, HP crossovers that make no sense, fanfic writers who make HP crossovers that make no sense, cheesy pick-up lines, Pokemon re-runs, getting yourself locked in a closet with your worst enemy, people who aren’t aware of how superior you are to them, running out of gravy while eating KFC, Writer’s block, people who think they’re EMO if they act EMO, people who confuse EMO with GOTH, people who say anime and cartoons are the same, Americans who attempt to recreate anime on their own, people who say Avatar is an anime, people who absolutely will not stop talking when you're reading a fanfiction you've had on your Firefox tab for eight hours, metallic paperclips that rust, people who think Egyptian mythology is boring, Sushi gone wrong, Sushi, accidentally swallowing chewing gum, evil melted marshmallows that want to eat you and take over the world, people that call your cell phone more than ten times in 24 hours, computer Viruses, waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, waking up before 9am, Dora the Explorer, people who discriminate, people who play favorites with kids, then congratulations, you are awesome. Please COPY and PASTE this on your profile and add your name to the list.
XxxIshida's GirlxxX, HoldOnToYourTunaCans, SakuraKiss234, Brookthatripplesinbreesze, CinziaTwut

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Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. We have cookies!

WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'

S.c.h.o.o.l: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives.

School for 12 years, College for 4 years, Work until you die.. Great.

Sometimes I wish I could be like the white crayon in the box. That way, no one would ever use me.

I don't smoke, there are cooler ways to die.

There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, "us" in trust, and "if" in life.

And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.

Oh so you can join the army when your 16, but you have to be 21 to drink?

People say you can't live without love.. I think oxygen is more important...

The guy who discovered milk, what the hell was he doing with the cow?

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is man's way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Someone's boring me. I think it's me.

Sorry I couldn't make it to church--I was busy practicing witchcraft.

Your face is like the sun--not because it is beautiful, but because I can only look at it for a minute.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot

Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.

For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.

There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. ..

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes..

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

STRESSED? You think I look stressed! I'm gonna KILL the next person who says I look stressed!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.

I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line. XD

I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE! If you too are in Sirius denial then copy and paste this into your profile. Because Denial is not just a river in Egypt

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, Youtube, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Follow Me Down - 3OH!3

Waking Up: Hakuna Matata - The Lion King

First Day of School: This Is Where I Belong - Spirit

Falling In Love: Pigfarts - AVPM

Fight Song: It's Not Over - Daughtry

Breaking Up: Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

Prom Night: Shine - Barbie

Life: All Time Low - The Wanted

Mental Breakdown: Welcome Home - Radical Face

Driving: Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance

Flashback: Bittersweet - Panic! At The Disco

Getting back together: My Bloody Valentine - Good Charlotte

Wedding: My First Kiss - 3OH!3

Birth of Child: Let The Games Begin - AVPS

Final Battle: Forever - Fireflight

Funeral Song: Sound The Bugle - Spirit

Final Credits: Stand My Ground - Within Temptation