Disclaimer – I own nothing in the Harry Potter universe, it all belongs to JKR.

For the best

Chapter One

I took a deep breath trying to suppress the overwhelming sensation I was feeling to vomit, again. Oh Merlin this could not be happening. What the hell was I meant to do now? I felt someone laying a hand on my shoulder and glanced up to see Healer Grey standing in front of me.

"Are you ok my dear?" the old lady asked.

"Yes, just in shock." I replied nodding. Shock was one hell of an understatement.

"That's understandable my dear." The healer told me with a comforting smile on her face. "But you have nothing to worry about. You're doing quite nicely at the moment, so there is no need to worry about past concerns. What you need now is to go home, have a bar of honeydukes finest and get that charming man of yours to pamper you. I'm sure he'll be over the moon when you tell him everything. I know his mother definitely will be." She still had that comforting smile on her face. But it wasn't helping much. My stomach was churning like anything, and my head felt like splitting with all the facts of the situation going through it. Merlin I hope I am having some massive nightmare and wake up soon. Please say this isn't happening!

Thanking Healer Grey I walked out of St. Mungo and in the direction of home. I would have apparated but I was guessing in my condition it wouldn't be the best idea, plus it was only a twenty minute walk. I wondered whether James would be in when I got back or if he was still at work. I really hoped it was the latter. I fancied a good cry and to devour all the ice cream when I got in. Seeing me do this would undoubtedly alert him to something being wrong and I don't think I'm ready to have that conversation yet.

As I pushed open the front door I could hear voices talking. It was probably James with one of the other Marauders. Damn now I would have to act like nothing had happened. I'm a crap actress. I was on the verge of opening the door to the lounge when I overheard some of what the two were saying.

"So you're off the hook then? Sophie isn't pregnant?" That was James' voice.

"Yup totally off the hook, she isn't pregnant in the slightest, probably just making it up to get me to hang about if you ask me. I mean what is it about a simple one night stand that girls don't seem to get?" ah the ever romantic Sirius Black.

"Could have. Merlin knows what I would do if Lils got pregnant." Without being able to see him I could tell he was ruffling his hair in that manner he always did when talking about something serious.

"Don't have to worry about that. She's not stupid enough to let herself, especially knowing what all the Healers said to her after the attack." I could tell Sirius was trying to ease James' worry, but he had said the wrong thing. James always goes funny when people mention the attack. For some stupid reason he blames himself, which is ridiculous. It's not like he was the one who did it. In fact he was the one who saved me, and then looked after me till I was ok again.

"Yeah I guess you're right" I barely heard James mumble. "I mean she wouldn't endanger herself like that. Plus there's a war going on and who the hell would be stupid enough to bring a child into this world now. If me and Lily ever decide to have kids, it will be when this war is long over. I won't agree to have kids before then I mean that's just irresponsible parenting from the start! No way are children on the cards!" I felt like someone had taken a cricket bat and swung it full force into my stomach. I knew James wasn't keen on having children now because of the war and all, but didn't know he was so adamant. I stood there trying to process all the things James had just said when something Sirius said caught my attention.

"Could you imagine if Lily was though? Your mum would make you marry her by the end of the week. Plus you would have to choice between being an Auror and the Order. No way you could do both and be around to look after Lily and Prongs Junior. Merlin it would be hell! You've seen how it's affecting Alice and Frank."

Sirius' words made me feel like someone have taken a second swing at me with that cricket bat. I moved towards the stairs and ran up them fling myself onto my bed as soon as I reached it. Merlin what the hell have I done? How the hell could I have let this happen? There was no way I could tell James now, not after hearing him and Sirius. Merlin in one stupid move I have ruined James' life. If I told him, the poor guy would be forced to marry me and give up on either his dream job or the Order. I couldn't do any of that to him. Merlin I'm a crap girlfriend. How the hell could I not take my poison that one time and think it would all be ok? Now I have to look him in the eye and be all "So James, you're going to be a dad. I'm pregnant!" He's going to love that!

I don't know how long I lay there wallowing in my own self pity, but if you ask me it wasn't long enough. It was James entering the bedroom that finally stirred me. He obviously knew something was up with me as he didn't say a word when he sat down beside me and gathered me in his arms. I couldn't help it, this made me cry more. Great start at pretending nothings up!

After about ten minutes when my highly attractive sobs had pretty much subsided James started questioning me.

"Lils, babe what's wrong?" He had that really cute concerned look on his face. How am I meant to tell him I've screwed up his life when he looks like that? I don't want to see the pain and rejection in his face when I tell him, so I lied.

"Nothing, it's just stuff at work." I work in the Department of Mysteries as an Unspeakable, therefore I wasn't allowed to tell anyone about the projects I was working on. Not even James. He knew I couldn't tell him therefore it was always a good way to get out of telling him things.

"Oh ok. Erm... anything I can do for you?" See it confuses him, he doesn't know how to react. I sat up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"No, I'll be ok James, don't you worry." I gave him a weak smile. "Just lie with me and hug me yeah?" I asked. I really needed to have him hold me right now. He gave me that adorable smile he saves just for me, pulled my hair out of my face, kissed my nose, and pulled me in to a tight hug. I felt so safe.

I must have fallen asleep because next thing I know I'm waking up in an empty bed. James was nowhere to be seen, but a piece of parchment with his scrawl on it was. I picked it up and read it.

Lils,

I had to go do something for Dumbledore, something about Frank and Alice being in danger as their baby is due in July. I'm hoping it's just a miscommunication or something. Anyway I'll be back as soon as possible.

I hope you're feeling better then you were earlier.

I love you,

James.

I reread the letter. Frank and Alice were in danger because their baby is due in July? Merlin how horrible! I couldn't ever imagine how that must feel. I mean I'm so lucky I'm due... Oh crap! Merlin I'm due the end of July! Great now I've put James in even more danger. Like he wasn't in enough with me being a muggleborn! How could I be so irresponsible? It was then I made my choice.

I climbed out of bed, grabbed my old Hogwarts trunk and began chucking in all my clothes and possessions. I couldn't put James through all of this. So my only option left was to leave. That way he could go find someone who wouldn't ruin his life like I would.

I wrote him a note to tell him I had gone. I owned him that much. It just reads;

James,

I'm so sorry. I'm a crap girlfriend and you deserve so much more. Don't come looking for me. This is for the best.

I love you,

Lily.

It was short and to the point. I took off the necklace he had given me back at Hogwarts. It felt strange not having it around my neck. I could feel more tears threatening to fall so I levitated my trunk and left the flat.

AN - For all those who like Rebound I promise it will be updated in the next day or so. This is just a new story that I've been thinking of for ages. Please review!