HEY YALL!! If u want 2 c any pics/clothes/other crap about/for my stories go 2 and search up my username 4 this!! If ur 2 lazy 2 type it copy this 1:

WeirdRandomHyperTwilightFREAK-

Thanks 4 reading and 4 all the awesome reviews!! LOVE U ALL!!

HELLO!! I'm Sara I have brown hair, blue/hazel eyes, and I'm 5'5. I'm not gonna tell ya more cause you just might be a freaky physco stalker (no offense to those of u who r in fact freaky physco killer/stalkers :P)!!

So ya I'm obsessed with THE TWILIGHT SAGA!! (who isn't?!), HARRY POTTER (YIPPEEE!!), INHERITENCE CYCLE (YEP), HOUSE OF NIGHT (FUCKING LOVEDHUNTED!!), AND SO MUCH MORE!!

I AM FREQUENTLY HYPER, HYPER, AND HYPER!!

SOME OF MY BFFS CALL ME KIT-KAT 'CAUSE O' MY MIDDLE NAME!!

SO HERE'S SOME RANDOM SHIT!! (FYI I CURSE... A LOT!!)

º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨
¨°º¤ø„¸Twilight¸„ø¤º°¨
¸„ø¤º°¨ ~~~~ ROX!!~~~~°º¤ø„¸
¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨¨°º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø.

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
Whenever my hear fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfil spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know!

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:

Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Aliceandra, Jasper's Pixie, WeirdRandomHyperTwilightFREAK-

Girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Guy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Guy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Guy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Guy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Guy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Guy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Guy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and The Guy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

The Lovers

In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote
to whom we please but one kiss.

Article 1:

Statement of Love:
The Kiss

1.Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3. Kiss on the neck
I want you

4.kiss on the lips

I can't live without you

5.Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6.Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes
kiss me

8.Playing with your hair

Love

9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2. Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3.Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to
stare.

1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.

2.Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.

3.Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

Here are a few reasons
why guys
like girls:

1. They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed
but in the end it makes it all worth while

8.Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think
she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name
on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore'
even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17.The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'

18.
Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt. (even though
we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say 'I miss you'

24. The way you miss them

25. The way their tears make you want to
change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore... Yet regardless if you love them,
hate them, wish they would die or
know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to the depths of their souls
and you say a million things without trace of
a sound, you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed within
the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine

I don't care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now... I dont care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson...just read this, it will make a difference...

Things that a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go

When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong

When she ignores you, give her your attention

When she pulls away, pull her back

When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you

Tease her and let her tease you back

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

Give her the world, let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important

Kiss her in the pouring rain

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you Give her your attention

When she pulls away Pull her back

When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!

When she bumps into you; bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes dont look away until she does

When she says it's over she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Went to a party Mom...

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and goodbye.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

"An Apple a Day keeps the doctor away; But if the doctor is Carlisle, screw the fruit"

- Unknown

Here is a list of my life principals. Blunt, smart assed, and determined. My best traits! Ha ha.

-All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

-Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

-There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a looser at the same time.

-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

-If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.

-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.

-I'm not short I'm fun sized.

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.

-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.

-Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.

If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9.

If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

My favorite quotes consist of something either romantic, sarcastic, or smart ass. Like me. Mwahaha

"Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies." ~ Willy Wonka - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

"You are like ten different kinds of stupid." ~ Jake - Samurai Girl

"I say jump." "I say how high." "You don't say anything. You just jump." ~ Jake and Heaven - Samurai Gir

"I dunno but I don't think it's pumpkin juice." ~ Harry - Harry Potter

"Bee in your bonnet Potter?" ~ the Sorting Hat - Harry Potter

"Your bird, he just caught fire." ~ Harry - Harry Potter

"A prius is not a car it is a lunch box. Did you know that when your driving down a highway and you stick your hand out the window the vehicle will turn?" ~ Achmed the Dead Terrorist. - Jeff Dunham

"I think my house is haunted." "Why?" "My wife is there. I open the door and all I hear is get out." ~ Walter and Jeff Dunham - Jeff Dunham

"So Walter how long have you been married?" "46 years." "And what was the happiest moment of your life?" "47 years ago." ~ Jeff Dunham and Walter - Jeff Dunham

"Women age like fine wine." "She's aging like milk." ~ Jeff Dunham and Walter - Jeff Dunham

"What would Jesus do? So I tried to turn her into fish. I stood there thinking BE GONE SATAN. HELLO SHAMU." ~ Walter - Jeff Dunham

"What is your title Nick?" "Well I guess you could consider it framing and dry walling." "Framing and dry walling? Got anything for that dumb ass? You know Nick we have jokes for Doctors, and Lawyers, even trash guys but the framing and dry walling guy. Not in our arsenal of snappy come-backs. And we're not going to bother going home and writing any because what are the damn odds now?" ~ Walter and Nick - Jeff Dunham

"Polish a turd, it's still a turd." ~ Peanut - Jeff Dunham

"Hey Peanut it's eight o'clock in the morning there's a lot of traffic out there, what's going on? It's eight o'clock in the morning. Everyone left the house at the same damn time. Back to you. Call me back at five thirty I'll tell you the same damn thing! Only guess what? They're going to other way!" ~ Peanut - Jeff Dunham

"The drive from the valley..." "Sucked like Hell" "The traffic..." "Was bad as hell." "The drivers..." "Were scary as hell." "Parking..." "Sucked more like hell." "So..." "We're in HELL! And these are our hell mates. Whenever someone tells ya to go to hell, we just gotta come right here." ~ Jeff Dunham and Peanut - Jeff Dunham

"Grown white men, going five hundred miles an hour, in a circle! What kinda three and a half hours is this; oh they're making a left turn and another left turn. And another left turn! Let's go to commercial and come back in ten minutes. You ain't gonna miss a damn thing!" ~ Sweet Daddy Dee - Jeff Dunham

"I was fixin' to come here, and I walked out the front door to come here, and I came here and I got here, and here I am." ~ Bubba J - Jeff Dunham

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia." ~ Charles Schulz

"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?" ~ Anonymous

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" ~ Anonymous

"My father is semi-retired. He goes half-way to work, then he comes home." ~ Anonymous

"We just bought a new house. My husband calls it a 'fixer'upper.' I call it a piece of crap." ~ Anonymous

"Smoking kills. If you are killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." ~ Brooke Shields

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." ~ Winston Bennett

“I’m here eleven days after the election. And I can feel the heat. It’s kinda like being in New York Square on New Years Day. Ya know, after everyone’s gone home and there’s garbage on the ground.” ~ Paul Rudd

“Being here now is like winning an Oscar. Well those technical Oscars they give out in hotels but it’s still and Oscar.” ~ Paul Rudd

“Being here hosting Saturday Night Live is like the ninth best moment of my life.” ~ Michael Phelps

“We’re the dancers.” ~ Justin Timberlake

Most of my copy and pastes involve falling, doing something stupid, or saying something bluntly. That's the best part of copy and pastes. Dignity get us nowhere in the land of humility.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever tripped over an article of clothing you were wearing at the time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever walked into a glass door thinking it was open, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever copy and paste something onto your profile, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile!

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels!

If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile!

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever pulled on a door and complained about it being locked or really heavy, only to have someone point out to you that you're supposed be pushing on the door or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal! Saying that you are normal is odd! If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this onto your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself! It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird! If you agree, copy and paste this and put it in your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile!

92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't cool to breath any more, Put this in your profile if your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off!

If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile!

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this into your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone! Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile this in your profile!

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile!

If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile!

If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the above mentioned, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile!

My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile!

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile!

Skittles tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you are sad because there will be no more Harry Potter books , copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't emo, copy and paste this in your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If you scream when you see a silver Volvo, copy and paste this to your profile.

AACD is Addicted to All Cullens Disorder
AV is Addicted to Vampires
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
If you are addicted to Vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

Help fight wizard illiteracy - Petition for English classes at Hogwarts.

Help fight wizard obesity - Petition for P.E. classes at Hogwarts.

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him gain world domination

Fine the Real Definition

This isn't one of those fake, repost or your life will be a living hell things. It's just for you to read, and think of all the people that died that day, all the people that had loved ones and never said goodbye and for all the people who had to watch as their best friends, lovers too, died. I'm not asking you to repost this, you don't even have to cry, just keep this in your hearts and minds for the people that never got goodbyes.

Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right into her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arm

If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed

These are Dr. Laura's man rules.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports; it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
11. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
14. ALL men see in only 16 Colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A Color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
15. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
16. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
17. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really .
18. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.
19. You have enough clothes.
20. You have too many shoes.
21. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
22. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

FRIENDS Vs. BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

Friends: Freak out and help you call 911 when your house is on fire

Best Friends: Wil be roasting marshmellows over the house fire, while flirting with the HOT fireman

You know wats sad?? This describes me and my 3 close friends Sarah, Megan, and Jayme!! (Luv u guys!!)

FYI: Megan (the responsible 1) holds the bail money whenever we go out!! :P (Tis true!! Jayme's a freak and pry spazz and drop it and Sarah and I... Well Sarah and I have MAJOR impulse issue... Let's just say she and I walked over 2 King Sooper's and she threw 1 of the lemon mirange pies at me!! In the freaking face!! (without the package!!) So of course I threw 1 back!! Then Megan and I had 2 come and get us 2 pay 4 the pies... (there were like 2 so it was like 14 bucks. Needlesss 2 say I don't go 2 King Sooper's much!!

16 things to do in Walmart.

1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4.Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5.Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
6.Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7.When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8.Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9.While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10.Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13.When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
16. Stage a conversation with your shadow then when you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing.

42 Things to do in an Elevator

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, gri nning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in latin meaning many and tics meaning blooksucking creature.
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and thats why I don't go there anymore

Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: I'm God's gift to women
Woman: God certainly has a sense of humor.

So many wuestions!! PM me if u have the answers!! :D

Things that a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

THERAPY!!

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf in The Coffee Maker for 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don’t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling

"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

POST THIS!!

It’s Called ... therapy!

6 REASONS NOT TO MESS

WITH CHILDREN

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a

human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very

small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;

it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they

were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's

work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what

the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

"They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother,

she

asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers

and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,

"Thou shall not kill."

One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes

at

the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of

white

hair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why

are some of your hairs white, Momma?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or

unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, Momma,

how

come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up

and

say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a

doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,

she's dead."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school

for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun

made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the

apples.

Hilarious Thoughts…

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from

Strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

Stupidity is not a crime so you're free to go

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say, "We can still be friends!" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and ductape the same? Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Tell the truth and run.

Education is important. School however, is another matter.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli', meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures?'

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa

Beans and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

"When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!"

You say I'm not cool, but cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much!

Don't mess with me: I've got a stick!

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

I'm so gangster: I carry a squirt gun.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry: I cry. You laugh: I laugh. You fall off a cliff: I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Silence is golden but ductape is silver.

RANDOMNESS

What does kill you... usually succeeds in the second attempt.

Parents spend the first half of your life teaching you to walk and talk, and the other half telling you to sit down and shut up.

Smile. It confuses people.

"Help! I've fallen and I can't--Hey! Nice carpet!"

There are no stupid questions...just stupid people.

You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor.

My imaginary friend thinks you have issues.

Flying is very simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

We can take a lesson from Crayons. Some are sharp(most aren't, though), some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are unique, but they all learn to live
together in the same box.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.

It's Band GEEK, not Band NERD. If you are going to try to insult me, at least do it right!

I'm the kind of person who walks into a door then apologizes.

Don't look at me in that tone!

When I'm at Hogwarts, I will not ask Harry if his Scar Senses are tingling.

Act your Age, not your shoe size.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp, pointy things. You should run from Bob.

WARNING! Do NOT walk in my footsteps. I run into walls...and off the occasonal cliff...like Bella.

I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me?

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone!

Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face?

When life gives you lemons, make Grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you can't beat them, join them
If you can't join them, sue them,
then rub it in their faces.

How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged?

Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone.

The past is just the future with the lights on.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

"Secret Admirers" are just stalkers with stationary.

Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity.

Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is our way of saying "You can't fire me! I quit!"

If you know me, chances are, you hate me.

Sticks and Stones can break my bones,
But words can hurt my inner child.

Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.
Calling me Stupid, won't make you Smart.
Calling me Weak, won't make you Strong.
Calling me Ugly, won't make you Pretty.
Calling me Poor, won't make you Rich.
Calling me Fat, won't make you Perfect?
So why bother?

24 Things I owe to my Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
"Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I know I'm not perfect,
I know I'm a geek, in many ways,
I know I listen to "Weird" bands,
I know I like to read,
I know I like school, even teachers.

BUT:
I know I have true friends,
I know I'm loved,
I know who I love,
I know I can overcome ups and downs.
And I know who I am.

Anything else you'd like to throw at me?

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:

(printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Completely AMAZING Twilight Quotes:

"Fall down again, Bella?" "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face." Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter. - Eclipse (Emmett/Bella)

"Are you still faint from the run, or was it my kissing expertise?" - Twilight (Edward)

"It's an off day when somebody doesn't tell me how edible I smell." - Twilight (Bella)

"Stupid, shiny Volvo owner." - Twilight (Bella)

"Do I dazzle you?" "Frequently." - Twilight (Edward/Bella)

"Your father told me never to come through his door again... but technically I came in through the window." - New Moon (Edward)

"How strongly are you opposed to Grand Theft Auto?" - New Moon (Alice)

"Would it be childish to hide in your closest?" - New Moon (Edward)

"It's only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you're out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche" - Eclipse (Alice)

"Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." Twilight (Edward)

On the opposite side of the chain from the wolf, there now hung a brilliant heart-shaped crystal. It was cut in a million facets, so that even in the subdued light shining from the lamp, it sparkled... "But I thought it was a good representation," he continued. "It's hard and cold." He laughed. "And it throws rainbows in the sunlight." "You forgot the most important similarity," I murmured. "It's beautiful." "My heart is just as silent," he mused. "And it, too, is yours." - Eclipse (Edward/Bella)

His eyes narrowed slightly. "But I am a werewolf," he said unwillingly. "And he is a vampire," he added with obvious revulsion. And I’m a Virgo!" I shouted with exasperation. - Eclipse (Jacob/Bella)

"Of all the things about me that frighten you, you worry about my driving." - Twilight (Edward)

"Nothing (is) more fun than an irritated grizzly bear." Twilight (Bella)

"What am I going to do with you?" he groaned in exasperation. "Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!" - Twilight (Edward)

"May the best man win." "Sounds about right... pup." - Eclipse (Jacob/ Edward)

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" ~ Edward - Twilight

"I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." ~ Edward - Twilight

"For almost 90 years I've walked among my kind, and yours... all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet." ~ Edward - Twilight

"You are the most important thing to me now...the most important thing to me ever." ~ Edward - Twilight

"If leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe." ~ Edward - Twilight

"Fall down again Bella?" ~ Emmett - Twilight

"I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything is so much more fun with you around." ~Emmett - Twilight

"No Emmet I punched a werewolf in the face?" ~ Bella - Twilight

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." ~ Edward - Twilight

"What a stupid lamb." ~ Bella - Twilight

"What a sick masochistic lion." ~ Edward - Twilight

"Safe in Forks - what a challenge." Bella - Twilight

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner." ~ Bella - Twilight

"Hell yes. We can find another way to pick a fight with this Demetri." ~ Emmett - Twilight

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." ~ Jessica - Twilight

"Nothing more fun than an irritable grizzly." ~ Bella - Twilight

"I don't speak Car and Driver." ~ Bella - Twilight

"Without the dark we would never see the stars." ~ Bella - Twiligh

"Be safe." ~ Edward - Twilight

"If I could dream at all it would be about you and I'm not ashamed of it." ~Edward - Twilight

"When I told you that I didn't want you it was the very darkest kind of Blasphemy." ~ Edward - Twilight

"It was like my heart was gone like it was hollow." ~ Edward - Twilight

"Heaven right smack in the middle of Hell." ~ Bella - Twilight

"I thought I'd explained it clearly before I cant live in a world were you don't exist." ~ Edward - Twilight

"The way i feel about you will never change. Of course i love you and there's nothing you can do about it!" ~ Bella - Twilight

"Your exactly my brand of heroine." ~ Edward - Twilight

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a, meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was Brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no reason for anything..." ~ Edward - Twilight

"Stupid unreliable Vampire." ~ Bella - Twilight

"Overprotective fool." ~ Alice - Twilight

"Marry me First." ~ Edward - Twilight

"Penguins, Lovely." ~ Edward - Twilight

"I prefer brunettes." ~ Edward - Twilight

"Can i have another Human minute?" ~ Bella - Twilight

"This Hostage stuff is fun." ~ Alice - Twilight

"I hear voices in my mind and your worried that your a freak." ~ Edward - Twilight

"My heart is just as silent and it too belongs to you." ~ Edward - Twilight

"You dazzle me." ~ Bella - Twilight

"I think she's having hysterics maybe you should slap her" ~ Alice - Twilight

"Of all the things that could frighten you, you worry about my driving?" ~ Edward - Twilight

"And you're worried, not because your headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires wont approve of you, correct?" ~ Edward - Twilight

"The clouds I can handle but I cant fight with an eclipse." ~ Jacob - Twilight

"Its an off day when I don't have somebody telling me how edible I smell." ~ Bella - Twilight

"I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart- I've left it with you." ~ Edward - Twilight

Things I love to say/Fave Quote-things:

Goto Hell Bitch! OOOOOOOOOOO!! Can we CARPOOL?!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for a vampire or two.

Oh, they're over the rainbow. Ya know, way up high? (After someone asks you where something is)

Get over it.

Be insane... because well-behaved girls never made history.

Caution: water on road during rain.

Dementors: Turning people emo since 370 B.C

Yes, I know I am random, but you have to understand - salad.

No, the forks will fall with the spoons... it is the SPORK'S era now!

Always look for the bare necessities, and then sing the song.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Duct tape is silver, but silence is golden. Are you catching my drift?

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

I can resist everything except temptation.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

"Something" since 19-Something's (18-Something in Jasper's Case)

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 20 billion 4 me
2) You own all above mentioned books.
3) You know that most of your friends will try to bag on Twilight the Movie, but then you'll get defensive and start yelling at them for saying that all the actors/actresses are all wrong and that they will ruin the movie when the actors/actresses don't match their exact mental picture of said character. (LISTEN PEOPLE!! No one will look exactly like your mental image of the Twilight characters, so get over it and quit bagging on the actors/actresses who will do a great job on this movie whether you think so or not!! Please excuse my rant but it needed to be said)
4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.
5) You have reread a lot of these pages.
6)You read fanfiction about Twilight.
7)You write fanfiction about Twilight.
8)At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says something about Twilight or its characters.
9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.
10)For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon/Ecilpse, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them.
11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".
12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.
13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.
14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.
15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2008 for Breaking Dawn to come out, you almost cried.
16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you like best. (I'm debating between Edward and Jasper. Edward is slightly in the lead though ;D)
17)You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.
18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories, you never get tired of it.
19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing you read.
20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire.
21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.
22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.
23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book.
24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.
26) You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information
27) You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns and the fact that you won't sop trying to explain to them why Twilight is the best book in the world
28) You're keeping track of all the "Breaking Dawn Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean
29) Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website
30) Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series
31) Your screen saver says something about the Twilight Saga
32) You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition
33) You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it
34) You can't believe that most people haven't read the books
35) You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them
36) You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines
37) You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die
38) You know you're addicted, but you don't care
39)You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2nd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco
40) You're more excited about the release of Breaking Dawn than anything to do with Harry Potter
41)When you found out that you would have to wait to see the Breaking Dawn cover art and first chapter until you got back from a trip where you couldn't even get near a book store when both items came out the day ater you left, you have a mental breakdown
42) When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown
43) You noticed there is no number 25

ATTENTION PLEASE!! PEOPLE!! EMMETT'S NAME IS SPELLED "E-M-M-E-T-T" NOT "E-M-M-E-T" OR "E-M-E-T-T!!" STEPHENIE MEYER SPELLED HIS NAME WITH 2 M's AND 2 T's!! PLEASE REMEMBER THIS!!
Sorry for the rant but this is seriously getting to me.

Stop the Pain No one Should Suffer Like

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

NOTE: I am NOT gay, I just believe that gayness is not wrong. It is not our choice if someone wants to marry someone the same sex as them. Its Theirs. Not ours. Its their life and their choice. And everyone is entitled to that.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

50 Things Not to Do at Hogwarts(winkwink)

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms."

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin House mascot.

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

21) I will not say the phrase "Get a Life" to Voldemort.

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eyeful."

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

30) I will not go to class sky clad.

31) I will not use Umbridge's detention to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on his or her arm.

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

34) I will not start every Potions class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as body lotion.

35) I will not call the Weasley twins "bookends."

36) I will not call the Patil twins "bookends."

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

43) I will not lick Trevor.

44) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled "Firewhiskey."

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

This is freaky as anything...DO NOT CHEAT (You'll will kick yourself later) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the instructions to the "t" you'll be surprised!! All of my answers were accurate. We'll see tomorrow if the wish comes true. I'll let you know. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out! BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three minutes... It's worth a try. First, get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

NO LOOKING AHEAD...OR IT WON"T TURN OUT RIGHT!

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11.

GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

List Your Twelve Favorite Harry Potter Characters:

1) Hermione Granger

2) Luna Lovegood

3) Nymphadora Tonks

4) Harry Potter

5) Rubius Hagrid

6) Sirius Black

7) Remus Lupin

8) Minerva McGonagall

9) Albus Dumbledore

10) Severous Snape

11) George Weasley

12) Fred Weasley

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Um... no?

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

HELLS YEAH! Like drop dead gorgeous! I swear, if HArry was real in some screwed up way, and asked me out, I'd say yes...then die.

3. What would happen if Twelve and Eight got pregnant?

SCARED SHITLESS!!

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Nope!

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

I dunno, but that would be like, criminal and student...creepy.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

NEITHER!! BARF!!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

He would totally FREAK OUT and be all teachery and say, NO SEX IN THE CLASSROOM!

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.

STonks has been searching for her long lost brother for a long time... but when an old friend needs her help at Hogwarts she discovers he may not be the caring, loving, bigbrother she had been hoping for.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

HELL FUCKING NO!! DISTURBED!!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve romance fic.

dETTENTION... wEASLEY STYLE

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

hARRY pOTTER AND hERMIONE gRANGER HAVE BEEN OUTCASTS ALL THEIR LIFE... BUT WHEN THEY MEET AAT HOGWARTS SCHOOL FOR WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY WILL THEY FINALLY FIND THE ONE THEY'RE TRULLY MEANT TOO BE WITH?

12. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Maybe? I don't know what that means. Sorry.

13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

IDK... Y?

14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

NO, MY FRIEND MACENZIE IS THE ONLY OTHER ONE I KNOW OF THAT'S ON THIS SIGHT AND SI DON'T THINK SHE'S A WRITER...

15. What might ten scream at a great moment of passion?

"NO! MY HAIRS BECOMING LESS GREASY!" OR "yOU'RE NO LILLY.. GO AWAY!"

16. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

TRUTH BENEATH THE ROSE!

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Warning: Scarring, disturbing, sicking images and passages involving a bookworm, an evil git(:P) and a dead guy.

18. What might be a good pick-up line for Eleven to use on Two?

"HEY LUNA... YOU WANNA SEE A REAL NARGLE?" IDK THAT 1 SUCKED...

So I wrote this for my mom for her b-day 2 weeks ago!! And figured I'd put it on here!! Enjoy!! And feel free 2 send it 2 other's or do wat ever u want with it Just please give me some credit!! Even if it's just "this girl on fanfiction wrote it!! Her name's Sara!! :D" Thanks all!! :D

Remember all those secret's I told you that you've never whispered to anyone else?

All the time's you gave me a simple kiss and story before bed?

When I depended on you so much when I was small? And still though... Even if I'm almost 13?

The time we've spent just watching the stars in the backyard?

Or all the times you've stayed up to do my project?

When I first learned to ride a bike and you cried you were so proud?

Or when you and Dad were fighting and I hid in my room? You came in and hugged me? Whispering comforting words to me?

I love How you're always there to talk too. Even if I don't want to.

I know you'll always be there to support my choices. Even if they aren't always the best?

I know that throughtout my life I'll always have the best friend anyone could ask for!

I know I can cry and you'll just listen.

I am who I am because of you.

So thank you Mom!

For all that you do.

For all who you are.

For all that you give!

And for the trust I can always have.

I love you Mom.

Forever and always! :D

I love my Mom!! She is my best friend, my secret keeper, and my shoulder to cry on!! This is for you Mom!! :) If you love your Mother repost this with the title My Mother!! :D

You're officially at the bottom... AND GUESS WAT?! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU READ ALL THIS!!

If you have ever dreamed or wished that a book character was real (Edward!) copy and paste this in your profile.

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the Twilight characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spazzed out when you've seen a silver Volvo S60, because it reminds you of Edward Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight it isn't even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think Aro acts like a creepy camp counciler, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you start to freak out when you can't find one of your copies of Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse when really you haven't lost it but your evil sadistic bunny of a sister thought it would be funny to hide them from you just so she could see you freak out, copy and paste this to your profile.