okay guys so this is my first fic and im really proud of it!!! I will defiantly keep going if you all want me too…soo pllllllls R and R!!!! oh and p.s. Amor est vitae essential means love is the essence of life in latin…haha I thought it was creative.

Disclaimer... I do not own the beautiful work of twilight…tear

''So ready for this to be the end,'' he murmured, almost to himself, ''for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barley begun. You're ready to give up everything.''

''It's not the end, it's the beginning,'' I disagreed under my breath.

''I'm not worth it,'' he said sadly.

''Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly'' I asked, raising my eyebrows. ''You obviously suffer from the same blindness.''

''I know what I am.''

I sighed.

But his mercurial mood shifted on me. He pursed his lips, and his eyes were probing. He examined my face for a long moment.

''You're ready now then'' he asked.

''Um.'' I gulped. ''Yes''

He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed against the skin just under the corner of my jaw.

''Right now'' he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered involuntarily. Only to regain my composure a moment later, the seed of hope and determination now planted deep into my mind.

I pressed my cheek to his perfect hair, and whispered ever so quietly '' I love you... and nothing will ever change that. All I will ever wish for is to be able to spend the rest of eternity with you. And for this… I would give anything and everything.''

At my words Edward pulled his face back to examine my face and see the truth that my eyes held.

In response I saw his eyes change, they became soft and full of love…love that I knew was for me.

It was then that I knew that I had won.

Without another word he pressed his icy lips to my neck, only to spread them and let his teeth graze the tender skin over my veins. I knew that I should be scared, but I could not make the fright appear. In fact... I was elated.

Then I felt a slight presser on my neck and his teeth sink into me.

For a moment I could feel the excitement coarse through his body and his hand slide over my shoulders and tangle through my hair. But as quickly as it came, he regained his composer and I could feel the determination set in along with unwavering control.

My mind raced from the irrational excitement that was now flowing through my body, and he parted his lips from my neck and gazed into my eyes.

''I love you'' I whispered. And kissed him softly.

''I love you more than I have ever thought possible.'' He said and scoped me up to bring me to his car before the fire started to race through my veins.

I had never seen him drive so fast. Though through out the entire ride is eyes never left me, watching for the pain to set in. I tried not to think of the impending fire, I just focused on his smoldering eyes. I had never seen the so golden before, they shined in the darkness of the car.

When we pulled into his driveway I was shocked to see that everybody was already home… had Alice seen him changing me

My question was quickly answered when Edward carried me through the front door only to be met by his entire family. None of which were shocked to see me in his arms…or the mark on my neck.

Alice and Esme were the first to approach.

Alice kissed me on the check and looked into my eyes.

''We have been waiting for you'' she said in a soothing voice.

Edward placed me onto my own feet, confusion on is angelic face.

Before anybody else had the chance to speak my body went limp as an intense burning enveloped my neck, spreading at a frightening speed through my body.

Carlisle caught me before I could make contact with the ground and carried me to one of the white couches in the room.

Edward along with everybody else rushed to my side. Well, almost everybody. Rosaline stood where she had been when I first entered the house. I was confused about what I saw on her face. It was a form of sorrow and a lack of understanding. If I had not had so many unpleasant encounters with her before this I would have thought that the emotion on her godly features was one of caring.

It was not long before I looked away however, for the fire had consumed my body and my mind. A white-hot siring pain now washed away all rational thoughts as I screamed out in fierce pain.

All I could see was Edwards's perfect face distraught with agony as he watched me crumble in the fire. He pressed his cool forehead against mine, which seemed to dull the fire in that spot. He held me in his arms through the night as I thrashed in anguish.

When daybreak lit the room through the floor to ceiling windows I was exhausted from the hours of torture I had endured. Although even through the thick pain I could see Edward and his family stationed around me, all glittering in the sunlight. As I thrashed against the fire I could still appreciate their fierce beauty, and the though that in only two more days I would be sitting among them as an equal was somewhat soothing.

''Please Carlisle, I have to do something, I can't watch her in this much pain any longer'' came Edwards voice, strained with ache.

''You know that if I could do anything I would have already. If there was anyway to help her I do anything to find it, but there is nothing. She has to suffer the same as we did.''

At this Edward dropped his face into his hands, and Emmett put his hand on Edwards shoulder not knowing how to console his distraught brother.

Esme lifted my head and sat down, placing a pillow on her lap for me to rest my head on. I was strangely comfortable despite the throbbing pain still coursing through my veins while I was in Esme's thin but surprisingly strong arms. Then she began to stroke the length of my face and hum softly. This continued until night fell.

Then Edward traded places with Esme, and held me closely to his rock chest kissing my forehead every so often and telling me just how deeply he loved me. With every kiss my body momentary relaxed and I could feel the love fighting back the pain. Soon he began to hum a familiar melody… the lullaby that he had written for me. Even now I could acknowledge that it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

As the sun rose I began to feel something change. I felt my skin dramatically drop in temperature and watched, as my skin grew more and more pale. I could tell that the pain would soon end and I would be as Edward was… I would be a vampire. As I thought the word my muscles relaxed with something I had not felt for the last two days, relief.

''Your almost there my love, it will all be over soon.'' Edward whispered in my ear.

''I love you'' was all I could manage to force through my clenched teeth.

''I know, I love you with everything inside of me Bella, I truly do.'' He said as he kissed my forehead with a little more passion behind his lips than ever before.

Through out the day the pain began to lessen to more bearable degrees. And I could feel jasper sitting next to me exerting soothing emotions… needles to say I had never loved jasper's ability as much as I did now. As late afternoon came around I began to hear things with more clarity and see things more sharply. Also I could feel impressive amounts of strength beginning to develop through my muscles.

Then it stopped. The pain was no longer ripping through me, or burning every inch on my body, my heart no longer beating rhythmically, my breath only an unnecessary habit.

As I unclenched my teeth and opened my eyes I saw the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Edward was staring down at me, his face adorn with the most magnificent crooked smile, more beautiful that anything I could ever imagine.

''Welcome back my love,'' came Edwards's relieved voice.

I sat up and stared ingenuously at my hands, they were chalky white, with long fingers, and strong beautiful nails now replaced my once brittle and bitten ones. My eyes advanced up my now rock like arms and rested on the end of my now perfect hair. Longer, and healthier, than it was just three days ago. It was also a much richer brown now.

I lifted my eyes to see Alice, jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, and to my surprise, Rosaline, staring at me through loving eyes.

Then my body went rigid and was overcome with a feeling that I have never experienced before. All my thoughts we scrambled into a thousand tiny pieces and all my senses seemed to be heightened by a million.

It was thirst.

Nobody in the room seemed to be as shocked as I was at my sudden change. In fact they barley seemed fazed.

''Bella'' came Edwards's irresistible voice. Then with out another word, and understanding eyes he scoped me up into his arms and sprinted through his front door than into the deep forest that sprawled in his backyard.

I was to stiff with thirst to respond.

It was odd. I knew that we were running but it didn't make me dizzy in the least. For the first time I felt exhilarated while running with Edward. As he weaved through the trees and rocks my thirst was getting worse and worse. I felt as if it was going to overcome me and I would no longer be able to control my body.

Then a delicious smell hit my nose and my head jerked to see four or five deer bounding away from Edward and me. I sprang out of Edwards arms, chased down the deer and through myself at them. I took them down in only a matter of seconds and began to regain control of my body as the thirst subsided. Shocked by my instinctual action I looked tentatively at Edward.

''Holy shit'' came Edward astonished voice. ''Your amazing'' his light hearted response calmed me.

''Is that what thirst feels like'' I asked stunned by its intensity.

''It won't always feel like that, its just the first time.'' He reassured me. ''I can't believe how has you moved though… you're almost as fast as me.'' He teased with a glint in his eye.

''Almost oh, well if your so sure than you should have no problem beating me to the house.'' I challenged before I took off running.

The feeling that ran through me is indescribable. Dogging the trees at lightening speed as I sprinted toward the Cullen's home. I had never felt so light and free in all my life. As I raced past a glossy blue pond I caught my reflection in the glass water and stopped dead in my tracks.

I was beautiful.

My glossy hair falling perfectly to just above my bust line and my now bright honey eyes were set into a face that was still mine but at the same time much different. My jaw was now much more prominent but still very feminine, while my cheekbones were much higher, and I had lips that were full and slightly pouting. I looked as though I belonged on a runway wearing clothing that is more valuable than my car.

Edward who has not noticed me stop at first had run back to where I was standing and was now looking with me at the person looking up at us in the pond.

''I look so…so beautiful'' came my voice.

''Wrong'' whispered Edward. ''You are absolutely gorgeous.''

Then he turned to me and kissed me lightly to begin. Then the kiss became more passionate and free, his hands moving down my back, and mine moving through his hair, his perfect messy hair. He pushed me lightly against a tree and I brought his body closer to mine, wanting nothing more than this kiss to never end. I had never felt so close to him, or ever felt so in love with him.

We parted lips and he rested his forehead to mine and his nose to my nose.

''I love you'' he whispered blowing his stunning breath over my face with the words.

I kissed him again in response and he could feel my love for him.

heheh so what did u think you like I really hope you did! pleeeease R and R to tell me if u want me to continue!