KISS ME, KILL YOU

DISCLAIMER: The characters within belong to the lovely Stephenie and her progeny ad infinitum. I just made them dance to the music in my head.

A/N: Bella, Alice and Rosalie will do anything to save their beloved Forks from the bloody onslaught. Even if they have to carve up or sex-up their enemies. With heinous betrayals delivered to them by their old friends stabbing them in their backs like they were girl-kabobs, can new love and trust win the day when everything is at stake?

This is AU all around, with canon pairings. Hope you enjoy!!

Hang in there while I set up the story in this chapter:

Chapter One: Rack em

Bella speaks:

"For years the good citizens of Forks, Washington have enjoyed a peaceful, idyllic existence. Kissed by nature in her most seductive way, lush and green, moist and wanton, Forks is a sensuous, heady goddess, aching for you to touch her, play with her, spreading her thighs and welcoming all inside."

"Fucking hell Bella!" Alice shrieked with laughter, "Are you writing an article on Forks tourism or porn??"

"I don't care what it's for, that was hot!" Rosalie laughed, fanning herself with the newspaper, "And by the way, you need to get laid."

"And soon." Alice laughed.

"Like today!" Rosalie added, cracking herself up.

Rosalie's cell went off just then, the tune "Evil" by Interpol being the ringtone of her 'roommate' Tyler. When she closed her cell, she turned to us and said, "Erik reminded me it's been 2 weeks since I fed...so I'm off. And Bella?" She turned around at the door to give me a scowl, "Be nice to Mike tonight. Throw him a bone, will ya please?"

"Ya, well, he is a dog, I s'pose it's apropos," Bella snorted.

"Honestly, I don't know why he puts up with your crap." Rosalie tsked.

"Moth to the flame, Rose, he can't help himself." Alice chimed in. "He's had the hots for Bella since first grade."

"Well, I'm off. See you girls at the rendezvous point tonight." She shut the door. Bella locked it using her will.

"You know, Bella, I would never interfere between you and Mike, but.."

"Spit it out Alice...you never mean to interfere about 50 times a day. That's why I love you, you keep me grounded and my temper in check. I would've killed him a long time ago if you hadn't interfered."

"It's not an ideal situation, granted, I mean, I can barely stomach Erik sometimes, but he is a necessary evil...as is Mike, as is Tyler. So, lighten up on him, just a little. I mean, look at what he lets you do to him. And if their girlfriends ever found out, they would stake us for sure--"

"Okay, okay, I get it, play nice with my food." She pouted. Alice just shook her head at her and smiled.

"Okay, I'm out of here. Erik's waiting for me. He cleared the evening so he can rest afterwards. See you toinght." Alice let herself out and Bella mentally relocked the door.

Bella looked at the clock. Mike would be arriving any minute. She scowled and a tormented sadness worked its way through her bones. Shit. She hates this. A necessary evil, Alice called what they do to them.

"Is it what we do or what we are that makes it evil?" Bella thought to herself.

She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a long neck out of the freezer and walked over to the window that overlooks her huge backyard. It was her nightly ritual to come to this window at this time every night. The stunning view of the sun setting behind the snow capped mountains never fails to catch her breath in her lungs.

"I love this town." She sighed wistfully as she downed the rest of the beer.

She could sense that Mike Newton was in his Ferrari and on his way here. Ugh! She inwardly grimaced as she anticipated the night's festivities to come.

Unlike the more common breed of LeStat-like Vampire who kills their human prey, Bella and her sisters are of the Amaranthine (immortal) Warrior race. In exchange for nourishing them, they lovingly care for their "drinks," as the girls refer to their human associates, setting them up in a beautifully appointed cottage on the grounds of their estates, keeping them well fed, happy and healthy. They also have jobs at their shops which the town just assumes pays them well enough to keep them in fine clothes and cars. And vacations to the Greek Islands or Disney World. They are paid very well and keep the secrets very well indeed.

Human blood isn't the best to keep them alive though. Their race prefers the blood of the opposite sex of their own kind. But, since there hasn't been one of those in this neck of the woods for centuries, they have to make do with weaker human blood. Feeding off of one of their own males would greatly extend their lives, but finding one was rare. Men tend to become a living, breathing, testosterone fueled, out of control animal when they are around females, killing each other for the chance at her blood and body.

Once in a while they will sniff out a male or two or three on their vacations in Europe or the Yucatan Peninsula and it becomes a wild feeding and fuck fest for a while. And even though the three of them know they should probably have mated with them to produce younglings for the sake of their dwindling race, they were not their true soul-mates. There was no love and they prized their independence too much to willingly become subservient to anybody.

But still, the thought of having a regular vein filled with Amaranthine blood, not to mention a man in her bed...Bella sighed longingly at the thought. Did she make the right decision? Should she have stayed in Belgium and mated with Francois? Was she a fool to still believe in fate, destiny and -yipes-love?

Mike Newton's banging on the door startled her out of her reverie with a jolt. Bella opened the door with her mind, letting her 'drink' in. She was tired and cranky and didn't feel like acknowledging his presence until he came near her with the day's receipts from the shop. She could hear the sound of blood rushing through his veins. Her throat tightened, her mouth salivated, her fangs elongated as he stood before her, her animal self fighting for control. She quickly turned around and started sorting through the mail on the bookcase.

"Bella?" She cringed at the sound of his pre-pubescent sounding squeaky voice. She could feel him lurking behind her. Fuck! She absolutely hates when he lurks. The only reason she agreed to take him on as her drink, even though the thought repulsed her, is that he's young, keeps himself healthy and he really enjoys the closeness between them when she feeds from him. She doesn't even have to calm him into submission, he willingly gives her his vein.

"Yes?" She sighed, not turning around. When he didn't respond, she turned around. His shirt was off and his neck was bared to her. His board shorts hung low -Christ! When did he get a belly button pierce?? and Ugh! Did he have an erection? Bile rose in her throat threatening to spill, when she heard the pounding of his blood in his carotid artery, saw the vein throb.

"Couch NOW!" She barked the order out letting him know that she was past all reason and needed to feed immediately. Mike let out a little yip of glee as he leaped to the couch, splayed himself out for her and waited.

Bella circled around the couch, growling and stalking, the animal in her coming to the surface. She opened her mouth, hissing and displaying her long sharp fangs. In a heartbeat's time she was on him, straddling his waist. Hunger took control as she sank her fangs deep into his artery. Mike's body jerked and then relaxed as she took great sucks from him.

She lay on him, arms and legs wrapped around so he couldn't move. Fuck! He had a boner all right. She grabbed a small couch pillow and shoved it between them. Bella knew that this experience can be very erotic for the drinks. It was the worst part for her. He started humping the pillow.

"That's it," She thought, "Next time, I'm shackling his ass to the kitchen table."

"Please, Bella," Mike whined, "Let me just put it in you..your sisters let their boys..." He whimpered and tried to remove the pillow that separated it from her.

"Shhhh..." Bella removed herself from his vein to reposition herself for a better draw, "I'm almost done."

"But..." She bit down a little bit too rough to shut him up. He yelped a bit, but settled down after she let go a calming wave over him.

When she was done, she licked her lips and waved her hand over Mike's face. His eyes closed and he began to softly snore. She covered him with the quilt that hung on the back of the couch. Taking the stairs two at a time, she showered and dressed for the night patrol quickly before Mike and his Johnson woke up.

Bella got into her truck, an old beat up Chevy, and drove towards the rendezvous point.

She rubbed her face. Thinking to herself how tired she was of this existence. Lonely, cold inside. How weird the life she leads and the thing she is are in sharp contrast of each other.

Bella, Alice and Rosalie were the merry miscreants. Pegged by the town long ago as the three most people likely to bore you to death, they embraced the challenge to prove them right by assuming the careers and the caricatures of themselves that labeled them as the village idiots, the town clowns, the harmless loonies that everyone knows, but no one wants to be associated with.

She is the excessively geeky, thick glasses wearing, total egghead owner of the Corner BookNook and part time volunteer editor for the Forks Free Press who frequently spouts Latin to no one in particular.

Alice is the possessed Madame Pwootz, palm reader and owner of a store filled with bizarre chachtkees like Sasquatch footprint plaster casts and stuffed crows posed in caveman dioramas.

And Rosalie owns Jumpin' Jewelzaphat, which features her own line of bizarre jewelry creations like mummified toe earrings. Their three little shops are sandwiched in between the mom and pop groceries, cafes and coffee houses along the quaint touristy section of downtown.

This assured their continued coveted role as the eccentric ladies of Forks. Which was just perfect. As Amaranthine Warrior Vampires they have sworn a sacred oath to protect their race and the town they call home. But no one can know of their true kick-ass and-who-cares-what-your-name-is nature. It's a strict code enforced by some really scary Vampires from Italy.

Of course, this was Forks, famous for it's history, beauty and inexpensive campgrounds. To the locals, however it was known for having the highest concentration of human species anomalies in the all the great northwest, as well as it's over abundance of eccentrics and all out weirdos. There is a rather large, albeit extremely secretive Druid contingent called the Celts and then there's the various sorcery covens: Wiccans, Merlins, Potters and Finn-Razzell witches. There is also a group of fanatical Metalocalypse worshipers called the Disciples of Nathan Explorer. All of which makes for a lively full moon in the woods. Then crossing through is the occasional lone LeStat blood sucker that will wander into town looking for trouble that puts the whole town on lock down until he is escorted out with a stake through the aorta courtesy of one of the Warriors. Then, there are the Werewolves. Lead by Bella's old childhood friend Jacob Black, the Wolves are mostly harmless. The specialize in being bratty, annoying perennial teenagers bent on driving the citizens crazy with their frat boy pranks. Ding dong ditch complete with flaming bags of wolf shit at the front door is their favorite.

So, every night, Bella, Alice and Rosalie meet at the rendezvous point before they split up on patrol.

When Bella met up with her sisters, Rosalie was talking excitedly while Alice had that scrunched up look on her face that she'd seen hundreds of times: Alice was having a vision, a look see into the future. Or she had to fart. Hard to tell sometimes.

"Bella!" Rosalie ran up to her, jumping up and down all aflutter.

"Geez, Rose, " Bella laughed, "You either had a big sale or a big dick. Which was it?"

Rosalie smiled from ear to ear.

"Who?? Oh no," a realization of horror came over Bella as she contemplated the possibilities. "Not Tyler. Oh PLEASE tell me you did not boink Tyler."

"What?? NOOOOOO. Ucky! Ucky! Don't be disgusting, Bella. But this...ahhhh...this tall, Greek god waltzed into my shop with black curly hair, big shoulders and bulging biceps and an ass...oh my! And there's something else..."

Bella stopped rubbing her eyes to look up at Rosalie. "What."

"He's one of us."

"One of us??" Bella and Alice shouted together.

"An..Amaranthine..Male...right here in Forks."

"Where? Where is he??" Alice and Bella were on their feet immediately pressing Rosalie for details.

"I was in the back of my shop when I heard the front door bells chime. I came out to the front and there he was, this..this magnificent male standing there. My whole shop was filled with his glorious scent. Not only Amaranthine, but of the Warrior Class, too. Our eyes met and we froze, locked in each others gaze for an endless split second. Then he spun around and took off running."

"Did you follow him?? Where did he go?"

"That's the thing. As I was leaving, Mrs. Murphy was coming in through the door to pick up her order. And by the time I got around her and out the door, he was...gone...vanished. Not even a scent trail remained. And you know what that that means...no scent trail..."

"No scent trail...Volturi." The three of them let out a collective groan. The Volturi only made an appearance when there was some major catastrophe brewing that threatened to expose the race. And then they came, they kill, they leave with no evidence, not even a skin flake.

"Alice, " Bella turned to her petite,dark-haired, beautifully pixie-like sister, "You see anything that would interest the Volturi here in Forks?"

"I just keep seeing hats." She stated looking sheepishly away.

"Hats. Just ...hats?" A feeling of foreboding settled on the trio.

"Ya, all kinds. Women's, men's, hunting hats, rain hats...Hats."

"So now what?" Rosalie asked.

"Well, maybe we'll find something on patrol tonight . Stay sharp, stay focused. And for fuck's sake don't let the thought of all that thick, rich, delicious, life giving Amaranthine Warrior blood and how sensuous and decadent it would feel sliding down our throats, distract you!" Bella stood and lifted her long neck in salute, "We will soon catch him and drink him dry! What say ye?"

"Here here!!" They all clinked their bottles together and downed them before they broke for the evening.

"We are so fucked." Bella groaned.

Well, it soon became clear why this Volturi was around sniffing. Heretofore they lived a quirky, peaceful life until the unthinkable happened. Dead bodies started to show up in the woods. Well, not bodies exactly, just the severed heads. They started out to be just one or two heads of transients and campers passing through. When the head count got up to 15, the town council, known as the Forks 100, got immobilized enough to call for a meeting to say they should meet to discuss the sitch.

But it wasn't until the cranium of old man Phahter, the miserly codger that was head of one of the oldest families in Forks, made an appearance in the lake, that the citizens demanded a town meeting to solve this once and for all.

On Friday, Bella was at the counter re-arranging the new display of Sherrilyn Kenyon Dark Hunter romances when the most amazing man wandered in. He was tall, thin, lanky and walked like a predator. He had wild, copper colored hair and green eyes that laid bare her soul. He was wearing tight, ass hugging, black leather pants, a gloriously tight black tee shirt and black biker boots with 7 silver skull buckles going up the sides. He was pure sex walking. The most amazing thing happened to her body. All of her cells came alive at once. Her heart raced, her breathing increased until she was almost panting, her blood pounded in her veins and as the urge to strip him naked and fuck him until he was dry of all fluids became a wicked struggle within her, the heat between her thighs was fire. The scent of a male of her own kind filled her senses, making her wet, aching and throbbing.

He hadn't meant to come into the book store. He was just going to walk past the shops to get the lay of the land in downtown Forks. But something called to his blood, his very soul cried out and made resistance impossible. The moment he walked through the door her scent filled him and he hardened immediately. He was like a teenager with out of control hormones but had the firm body of an experienced lover. The heat, the fire in his blood, the ache in his loins demanded that he take her right now.

She looked into his eyes. Her big, dark brown eyes caught and held him there. Mesmerizing him, drawing him in. Law made it clear it was up to the female to chose if she accepted the male. He could not force her, the penalty was swift and deadly. But to submit to anyone, even a female, was against his honor as a Volturi executioner. So he preferred his females to come to him in utter submission. But this female. She did something to him just by looking into his eyes. Saw right behind the toughness, behind the walls he so carefully constructed around himself. He had the feeling, just from this chance meeting, that if he let her, she could give him what he truly wanted. Peace.

Growling, he stalked towards her down the middle of the store. A tiger with his prey in site.

He heard her suck her breath in, hold it tightly, expanding her chest. She met his steely gaze with a feral look of her own.

As he approached her, she backed up into the office, never taking her eyes off of him.

"Female," he purred and the velvet sex that was his voice almost made her come on the spot.

Letting him back her up to the wall, she put her hands on his chest. His pecs were rock hard and from the trouser tent he was sporting so was the rest of him. He placed his hands on the wall on either side of her shoulders. She was about to let him feed her his vein and pleasure her until she was fully satisfied, when he spoke and ruined it.

Seeing her reaction to him, the hunger in her face, her fangs elongating and the scent of her arousal permeating the room, he had every confidence that this was a done deal. He would soon be satisfying his thirst and his lust and be on his way. Then he spoke and ruined it.

"Expose your throat to me. I need to feed." Bella was almost shocked at his commanding tone. Oh! The absolute arrogance!

"Excuse me??" Bella growled. Had he gone completely mental?? Did he forget about Amaranthan law that demands that he be submissive to her? That he must assume the position and request of her in a humble, respectful manner? By all rights she could kill him and just walk away.

"You will submit to me your vein or I will take it." He snarled back at her. She wants to play, does she? We'll see about that.

"Listen, Nosferatu..this is America and I'm not your bottom. Get off of me now." She punctuated 'now' with a hard kick to his swollen groin.

He folded like a map. Disgusted by the way things turned out, she stepped over his writhing body and headed to the front of the store to close up for the day. "Geez, that was fun."

The front door ching chingled as two cute old ladies walked through and made their way to the Greek Lit. section. Bella smiled politely at them, not pleased with the day's outcome.

A minute or two later, he appeared through the beaded curtains that separated her office from the store. Still wobbly, and cupping himself, he slowly weaved his way towards the front door. The two ladies gaped at him with wide eyes and mouths.

Bella turned to them and whispered loudly with a laugh, "He has a rash, you know, down there."

"Oooh," they whispered and went back to their browsing.

"Bye bye Poindexter!" Bella called out and the all waved goodbye to him.

He turned and shot Bella a look filled with evil and vengeance,"I will return, female." He growled out between clenched teeth.

"You'd better be wearing a cast iron cod piece!" She smirked back at him.

That made him cup himself with both hands and moan slightly.

Ching chingle the bells on the door sounded as he let himself out.

"Time to close up ladies!" Bella cheerfully announced, gently ushering them to the door.

A/N: Well hello lovely Twilighters! Hope you enjoy my new story.

Please stop by and say hello! You know I live to dance when I get your reviews!

Take care and as always--

Love and Lemondrops...until next time...BSL