Author has written 7 stories for Hobbit, Harry Potter, Flash, and Heartless, Marissa Meyer. Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing. GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen. My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more. 25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES. "If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay." 26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." I love my mother! DIFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMPS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "DAMN that was fun." FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry...just laugh about it when you're not down anymore FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school/college BEST FRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS: Will ignore this BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others. You now have two choices, you can :1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1 I am a book freak, yes. So what? While I hole myself up in a good story, you're off frying your brains. While I lose myself in unknown worlds, you're off playing Minecraft or World of Warcraft. While I learn things you cannot imagine, you're off failing school and your teachers and family. I know more about some characters than I do myself— characters you will never know. I can survive my whole life in a world— a world you will never see. I know the secrets of people, places, and creatures— all of which you will never meet. I could ruin your life, if I had the heart to and if you and I were in one of the worlds I know— and you would never tell the difference. I create worlds, people, creatures, but most of all lives with my words that you call another boring subject— something you will never experience the joy and pride of. I have ridden on dragons, outwitted darkness, eluded death a thousand times . . . I have saved lives, used magic, unraveled deathly secrets that could start wars . . . I have swum with the serpents, flown with the pegasi, howled with the wolves . . . I have stood upon the moon, fought in great battles, discovered new universes . . . I have relived long-gone lives, shaped new destinies, guided the paths of others . . . I have stepped into other worlds, become other creatures, experienced unimaginable things . . . I have lived through wars, living nightmares, the worst of tragedies . . . I have felt the joy, pride, and elation of just—knowing. Knowing the fact that you would never learn what I have. And never have I moved a single inch, as long as I read. I have travelled universes while sitting in a corner with a book For you one glance is what it took To say it was useless and stupid But you can never experience time travel or falling again and again, You can never live a life of the first daughter who hates it or experience victory over dictators, And other things I have, Yet you claim that all of this is boring— Boring, stupid, sad, uncool, dumb, even embarrassing. You say that this is something no one can like. And yet, here I stand, holding a book. If you agree with what I have written, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to make our voices heard: Crystal Silvera, Akronite, Jasminehoran, Anjali Roongta Today, writers are scorned because of those too unversed to know. Disdained, because of the those too ignorant to believe. Despised, because of the realists who are too afraid to dream. Misunderstood,because others are too unsure to try. But we, as writers, know them to be wrong. A writer is a person who dreams. A writer is a person who wishes. A writer is a person who escapes. A writer is a person who lives. A writer is a person who is not afraid. A writer is a person who strives. A person who expresses. A person who believes. A person who understands. A person who knows .A writer can create when there is nothing to create, can built happiness when they he himself is sad, a writer is a person who can understand, think and love. A writer is just someone who has a calm brain and can understand other’s perspective, can sadden themselves to spread joy, a writer is someone who knows all the good and the bad and can be satisfied with creating worlds for others. I am a writer. I dream of a world where anything is possible. I wish for a world where war is just a myth. I escape into a world where I can predict the future. I live in a world of joy and mystery. I am not afraid of the world I create. I strive in the world where others give up. I express myself in ways others dare not try. I believe in things others are too afraid to trust. I understand things others cannot, in a waythat others cannot. I know, in ways that others deny. Signed, Azariosiza Leixym, SkullRising Anne Elise 9.0 playa RonnyBravo Game777Guy SusieofAnna Crystal Silvera Jasminehoran Anjali Roongta LovesDragons The WHOLE story of the Girl who was pushed (Aka) THEY HURT HER( Poor Carmen) Carmen Winstead was a young girl who died when she was pushed down the sewer by five girls she thought were her friends. Carmen was 17 years old when her parents decided to move to Indiana. Her father had lost his job and the only way he could find new employment was by moving to a new state. The relocation caused a lot of problems for Carmen. She had to leave her friends behind and attend a whole new school in Indiana. Carmen had a hard time making friends when she changed schools. It was the middle of the school year and most of the students had no interest in befriending the new girl. Initially, she spent many days alone, walking from class to class without speaking to anyone, but she eventually started hanging around with a group of five other girls. Carmen thought these girls were her friends, but it wasn’t long before she discovered that they had been talking about her behind her back and spreading vile rumors. When she confronted them, the girls turned on her and began bullying her every day, making her life a misery. They started out calling her names, but then the bullying got much worse. One day, she left her school books in the classroom at break time. When she returned, she found someone had taken a sharpie and written dirty words all over her books. Another day, she opened her bag and discovered someone had poured yoghurt all over the insides. Sometimes, she would come to school and find her locker had been vandalized. The final straw came when she put on her coat at recess and found that someone had stuffed dog poop in her pockets. There and then, Carmen decided that she couldn’t take the bullying any longer. She planned to stay behind, that evening, after school, and tell her teacher what had been happening. Unfortunately, her decision came too late to save her life. After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poor girl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole. They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen’s name was called out, they shouted "She’s down in the sewer!" All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen’s body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn’t moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom. The police hauled Carmen’s body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen’s classmates. The five girls lied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead’s death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong. Dead Wrong. Months later, Carmen’s classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn’t really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn’t there would be horrible consequences. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure. A few days later, one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loud noise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter’s room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived, they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl’s grisly remains. Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn’t stop there. More and more of Carmen’s former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn’t believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off. They say that Carmen’s ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn’t believe her story. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whether it’s from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off. So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile. I may not believe in love at first sight, but I believe in this: 'Cinderella walked on broken glass Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass Belle fell in love with a hideous beast Jasmine married a common thief Ariel walked on land for love and life Snow white just barley escaped a knife It was all blood, sweat & tears Because love means facing your biggest fears ' |
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