For the next 30 or so minutes Barry sat on his bunk with the tears he'd been fighting for the past week spilling down his cheeks and soaking into the collar of his already damp t-shirt. Never had he felt so hopelessly exhausted, terrified, and lonely in his entire life nor had his weaknesses ever been more evident than in that moment, it all only served to make it feel so much worse.

The loneliness that was consuming him left his chest feeling hollow. It was as though everything had come crashing down all over again. The strength he somehow managed to muster for Iris, Joe, and his dad so they wouldn't worry too much was depleted along with whatever it was he managed to gain on his run with Snart.

It was so much easier to be strong for those you cared about; to push away your own fears and doubts and sorrows in order to make it even the slightest bit more bearable for those you loved.

His sister had cried at the airport when she hugged him good-bye and his foster father's face had been pinched with worry as his eyes glistened with unshed tears before he wrapped him tightly in his arms. Barry's heart ached something fierce as he wondered if this was going to be the last time he saw either of them causing his own eyes to sting, but a sob from Iris had him reeling himself in and putting a smile on his face. He muttered reassurances and I love you's to both as he couldn't help but steal a final hug before he forced himself to head through security with what felt like the weight of the world crushing him.

Things had gone a bit differently with his real father, but left him feeling much the same when he'd visited to tell him… the news. Henry Allen could read his son like a book, and while Barry stayed strong smiling and even trying to make jokes Henry knew what his son wasn't saying everything.

He didn't mention it though, or force the subject, but he let Barry know he loved him no matter what and he believed in him. His parting words now left a sour taste in Barry's mouth after his conversation with Snart, because while it was meant to be comforting and joking at the time it now made him feel worse about the whole thing.

"Make sure you get yourself back here in one-piece son," Henry had said smiling though his voice was laced with the emotions both were pretending didn't exist. Barry nodded with a tight smile feeling his eyes begin to burn, but he pushed it away reminding himself an innocent man who had been imprisoned for well over a decade for his wife's murder didn't need anything else to worry about. Henry worried and blamed himself enough as it was. "I mean it, Slugger, I wanna here all about your grand adventure when you get back."

Barry had nodded and agreed smiling all the while until the guard came to tell them time was up. Barry's heart sank farther, which he hadn't known was possible, because that was the moment he realized it really was, at least for him in every sense of the phrase.

There were few final I love you's and promises to write, but no hugs, because as was per usual since he was 11 a thick shield of bullet proof glass separated them. Barry's tears fell faster now as he wished with everything he was he could have at least hugged his dad one last time before his end…

For the first time since that awful meeting he let himself grieve; finally allowed himself to truly fall apart. To feel the despair in full at the inevitability of his own death and his terror as to what that would do to those he loved, praying they would be okay.

He let the sorrow he felt at the loss of his future wash over him too, which he long imagined would be better than his past. His chest ached for the family he wanted more than anything and he would never be blessed with; no husband, no children, no house of his own. Nothing, no future what so ever. He let it all out; there was no one left to be strong for, and in that moment he wasn't sure he had it in him anyway… he was completely alone.

He had no idea how he was going to do this before; any of this, but now the training seemed more daunting than ever, and all that was before he even allowed himself to think about the woes their arrival at their final destination would bring.

Those that would be training him, his so called "team mates" had no qualms with him being alligator food. The jerk with the glasses even wanted him to be alligator food. The brunette girl had looked at him with suspicion and anger, the burly guy didn't seem to care either way, neither did Shawna for that matter, and Mark just seemed to think this was all one big joke. Snart had been the only one and only thing that had offered him any sliver of hope and now even that was gone.

It was just him, Barry Allen, and experience told him just Barry Allen wasn't enough.

Just as his sobs began to ebb, not for lack of sorrow but due to his inability to produce anymore tears, the sound of someone ascending the stairs had him attempting to pull himself together. He doubted anyone would bother with him unless it was a necessity, but the last thing he wanted was for them to know he'd fallen apart so easily.

Despite his despair and his intense aversion for his new team mates with the exception of Snart, who just left him feeling more conflicted than anything, he was determined to do what he might so as not to get anyone killed…

Barry's thoughts were suddenly disrupted by a gentle knock on his door which cause him to leap to his feet. Immediately, he began wiping his face in earnest and clearing his throat before turning his back to the door and grabbing his over-sized back pack in case whoever it was decided to come in.

"Yea?" Barry's voice was still thick with his recent tears and he stiffened when he heard the handle turn and the creak of the door open.

"Scarlet?"

Barry eyes automatically closed as he hoped against hope the gentleness he thought he heard in Snart's voice wasn't just a figment of his imagination born of his desperation.

"Yea?" Barry said again when the other man failed to continue.

There was another momentary silence as Barry held his breath wondering if the other man was here to threaten him again after hearing the sobs he's failed to muffle. When the door creaked all the way open he stiffened unable to face the other man even if he'd wanted to. This was all too much without his inexplicable… attachment to Captain Cold as Mark called him.

"Shower's free," Snart informed him somewhat quietly, but Barry stiffened a bit painfully aware the gentleness he perceived before was clearly a figment of his imagination. "I suggest you take advantage and get your shit together before the others get back."

Barry's throat constricted again for reasons he couldn't exactly identify. It was so stupid and absolutely ridiculous but Barry found all he could do was nod. There was a pregnant pause and he could feel the other man's eyes on his back and couldn't help the way the tension in his shoulders increased. Barry couldn't even find it in himself to pretend like he was doing something he just held him breath waiting for Snart to leave.

"Make sure you drink water and stretch too," Snart finally said after what felt like forever before without waiting for so much as a nod before he turned and left.

Barry released the breath he'd been holding as heavy footsteps pounding down the rickety wooden staircase and noticed he cheeks were once again moist. The screen door slammed shut in the distance though rather noisily causing Barry hastily collected his hygiene kit and a towel hoping to make it to the shower and back without seeing anyone.

He wasn't sure whether Snart left to allow him to pull himself together in private or out of disgust. Barry thought it was most likely the later, but he was grateful for it none the less. This whole thing was a fucking emotional roller coaster and it was still day one. The open bay shower set up had him quietly thanking whatever the powers that be he was alone, especially once he caught sight of his extremely red puffy and awfully splotchy tear stained face.

There wasn't even a curtain separating the shower part from the bathroom part. Unsure of why Snart left or how long he and the others would be gone Barry quickly stripped, slipped on his shower shoes, then slipped into the open shower bay and under the farthest shower head from the entrance before the water even had time to heat up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Showering had definitely helped and even if the way it had been suggested had been less than friendly he was still grateful for it. It had helped him center himself in some respects and calm his nerves, not to mention his tears, though he wasn't sure how his body managed to produce them, felt much less embarrassing as they mingled with the eventually like warm water. His muscles had relaxed significantly allowing his mind to relax along with it.

The time he'd spent in the shower afforded him the ability to get somewhat of a grip on himself. Enough to remind him he really did have science stuff to take care of. The make-shift chemistry kit he'd requested through Wells had been handed over upon his arrival, before it was unceremoniously shoved into his duffle, which had taken the spill with him during his memorable first impression.

Thankfully, when he checked on it once he'd returned to his little room, before the others including Snart came back, it was more or less intact. He'd purposefully left out anything volatile unsure of what kind of people he'd be working with, which now that he'd met them however briefly he was extremely glad for. He had enough of what he would actually need to show whoever needed to know the basics in the event he didn't make it that far. In hopes that even if he failed the mission could be accomplished and his family would be safe, though he was as of yet unsure how to approach Snart concerning his idea.

A loud bang, that sounded like something rather heavy had been thrown at his door made him jump and bang his head rather hard on the underside of the top bunk as he skimmed the stupid paper that had gotten him into this mess. He had no idea what the easiest way to explain what needed to be done to his new team mates with no idea what kind of grasp they had on the subject.

"Let's go kid squad meeting!"

Barry rubbed the new lump on the top of his head taking a deep breath before leaving what he now thought of as his own little sanctuary for what he considered the lion's den with his heart in his throat. He felt multiple pairs of eyes on him as he tried to act what he hoped came off as unconcerned praying the redness and puffiness his tears left behind faded enough it wouldn't be too obvious. To father ensure they wouldn't notice his most recent weakness he stopped on the outskirts of the circle they'd formed and leaned against an unoccupied bunk in the shadows.

"Listen up," Snart didn't even have to raise his voice to be heard over the din of the others who had begun conversing with one another after their initial once over when Barry entered the room. The command and respect the other man's voice and presence commanded was almost baffling to Barry, who only ever seemed to garner attention due to his faults. "Four weeks, that's all we've got before we're boots on ground in some yet unknown but no doubt godforsaken corner of this unpleasant planet they can't send anyone else completely on our own."

Barry swallowed hard at his words unable to help himself though grateful the attention was yet to be focused on him, because the others hardly reacted. He wondered vaguely whether or not Snart could be exaggerating just to mess with him by everyone else's lack of reaction, but he somehow doubted it.

"Four weeks, that's it, so I'm telling you right now your normal horse shit isn't gonna be tolerated," Barry felt an odd sense of smugness as Snart's icy gaze landed on the guy with the glasses until he mumbled something in the affirmative followed by the others. "That being said none of us, not least of all myself, are fond of babysitting, so as I see it we have but one option."

The moment Barry had been dreading was here and he knew it before Snart even turned and gestured to him.

"Meet Barry Allen, CSI, Central City Police Department, and your new mission," Barry fought not to tense when he felt everyone's eyes shift in his direction, but he was sure he looked just as awkward and uncomfortable as ever, and maybe slightly surprised that the other man actually knew his name let alone anything else about him. "You don't wanna babysit, do your fucking job and the problem solves itself. For the next four weeks each of you along with myself with be responsible for various aspects of his training. We have four short weeks to transform this kid into something that resembles a soldier."

Barry's face flushed with Snart's words along with the narrowed skeptical eyes that currently seemed to be burning holes in him. He had a feeling their boss wasn't trying to embarrass him, but it didn't mean he wasn't. He suddenly felt like shrinking back convinced they all knew he'd spent the better part of the time they spent at the gym in tears.

"The kid knows it's not gonna be easy or fun. I'm pretty sure I made that crystal clear," Snart turned his full attention to Barry, who after a moment realized he was waiting for confirmation and nodded a little more enthusiastically than was probably necessary. "That all being said, it doesn't mean you guys have to be dicks about it."

Barry who was still blushing, embarrassed, and way out of his comfort zone almost actually laughed when Snart added the last part. It sort of felt a bit surreal. Barry was so uncomfortable and felt so out of place, then something as silly as that could ease at least some of his panic and pain.

"Well, I suppose that means I'm first up on the firing line," the burly guy with the gruff voice said after a beat as his eyes left Snart and found Barry's. "Names Mick, call sign Heatwave, Armorer. You're belongs to me beginning at 0400 hours. We ruck to the range, and we'll start with rifles since that's what we'll be shootin'."

Barry nodded again, though he was a little taken aback, because the guy hadn't spared him so much as a glance as of yet and was now directly speaking to and looking at him. The thought that Snart's eyes really did hold some sort of voodoo flitted to the forefront of his mind considering the 180 that had apparently just taken place regarding him in the eyes of his teammates. Snart's attentions then snapped to the brunette female that seemed to be suspicious of him for some reason and she rolled her eyes before giving him a hard look.

"Lisa Snart, Golden Glider, Intelligence, and I'll be in charge of training you how not to spill the beans."

Barry wasn't sure which part had his heart sinking farther. The fact that this woman who seemed to think he had wronged her in some way shared the same last name as the man he'd somehow come to feel… reliant on, and seemed to feel the need to emphasize that particular fact, or that she would apparently be torturing him. Barry managed to swallow down his sudden anxiety and fear to offer Mrs. Snart a tight nod, receiving a predatory toothy smile in return.

"I'm Mark, call sign Weather Wizard, I'm in charge of communications. I will not only be your new favorite person, which isn't too spectacular considering the bunch a wet blanket we're stuck with, and teaching you to communicate," the blonde guy said cheerfully, if not mockingly offering him a brilliant smile and a small bow. Barry's only response was another tense nod, still unsure whether he was actual mocking him or just the team clown.

"Shawna, Peak-a-Boo, medic," Shawna introduced herself after scoffing at Mark. "I need to see you after this."

Barry didn't even so much as nod this time suddenly feeling more nervous than he had as of yet. Was she going to give him a test or something? He hadn't studied anything, because no one had told him to. He really hoped he wasn't about to make a complete fool of himself in front of everyone again as he tried to quickly run through the test he'd taken on first aid when he'd joined CCPD.

"Hartley, Pied Piper, engineer," the guy with the glasses said irritably breaking Barry from his anxious musings.

Barry's unease returned when the silence after Hartley's irritated declaration stretched on for a beat too long and he wondered if he should speak though Snart had already introduced him. Just as he opened his mouth though he wasn't exactly sure what he thought he was going to say and was fidgeting nervously as he often did when he was uncomfortable Snart spoke again.

"0400, dismissed."

The others after shooting Barry either warry glances or glares went their separate ways. Barry wanted to go back into his room too, but Shawna had said she needed to see him so he sort of stood there awkwardly, as the woman once again immediately began bickering with Mark. Luckily that didn't last too long before Snart called out to Shawna.

"You got questions for the kid Shawna?"

"Yea," Shawna stopped digging in her bag and shot one last glare at Mark before she continued. "You got allergies?"

Barry's face blushed brilliantly and his hands went to his eyes to rub them suddenly bright as an extremely ripe tomato remembering they were probably still red and puffy from crying.

"I… um… I," he stammered unsure if he should just say yes and take whatever anti-allergy meds she gave him or admit that he'd been crying. "I…"

"She means to medication, food, anything like that," Snart cut in before he could make an absolute fool of himself.

"Oh, yea," Barry felt relieved and was sure that it was evident in his voice. "No, at least not that I know of."

"Good," was Shawna's unconcerned response. "Medical conditions I need to know about?"

"No," Barry was almost sure he would have said no even if there had been because he everyone had started looking at him again when he began stuttering at her simple question and the way Snart was frowning made him feel worse about it.

Shawna didn't respond and her line of question seemed to be done considering she wasn't paying him any attention, but Barry didn't want to be rude. It felt silly, but he turned to Snart, who seemed to be waiting for him to look at him and nodded his consent. The shiver that ran up Barry's spine when their eyes met had him nearly running back to his sanctuary.

He wasn't sure why he'd suddenly felt so exposed or the need to get away, maybe it was because he could feel both Snart's eyes on his back, but it was there none the less. While he didn't really want to think about it, and there had been quite a bit of information to absorb for their short meeting; what stuck with him most was the brunette woman's name. Was she his wife? Did the army let wives and husbands be in the same unit? Was she a sibling? Did the army allow that either? Was it a coincidence? Barry doubted that, because that was quite an unusual last name.

Either way, not matter how much it made his heart sink the suspicious accusing looks made a bit more sense, even if it was ludicrous. A guy like Snart, who was so… well Barry wasn't exactly sure how he would describe him aside from gorgeous, inexplicably alluring, maybe kind in his own way, and extremely intimidating, while Barry was so… well Barry.

Another knock on his door just as he was pushing that train of thought away before it could completely derail any progress he had made since his break down had him jumping and squeaking out a surprise, "yea," having thought they'd be done with him for the night. His heart raced as the door creaked open and he was suddenly face to face with the man he'd been trying to distract himself from.

"Rule #2," Snart said as Barry met him eyes. "Sleep and eat whenever you get the chance because you never know when you're gonna get the chance again."

Barry, though surprised thanked god for small favors when the other man tossed something at him and he actually caught it without too much difficulty, well, at least without hurting himself or anyone else. To avoid meeting the gorgeous soldier's eyes he looked down that the small brown plastic bag he'd tossed him and read Meal Ready to Eat or MRE for short. It was spaghetti and meat sauce, which wasn't exactly his favorite, but he was starving and he was sure even if the other's asked him to go to dinner, even if Snart himself had asked he would have said no.

"Thank you," Barry replied when he looked back up really meaning it because he really would have gone without food and an empty stomach would have succeeded in making this whole experience that much more unpleasant.

"We step off at 0400, but you'll need to get all your gear together before then. I suggest you do that tonight then get some shut eye. It's gonna be an extremely long next couple months, Scarlet, hang in there." was Snart's reply.

Barry nodded, though he had no idea what the hell he was going to need for tomorrow, but he was reluctant to ask, sure he could figure it out. When Snart nodded back and went to turn away Barry really felt like he should have said more than yea and thank you. His "hey," was out of his mouth before he could stop it and suddenly Snart was looking at him again expectantly so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"What's rule #1?"

"The mission always comes first," Barry swore Snart was actually smirking at him, which made him want to smile too.