Bilbo couldn't stop the small smile from quirking the corner of her lips as she looked up from her cup of tea to meet Gandalf's twinkling eyes. She resisted the urge to roll her own. She wondered if Gandalf was actually expecting her to believe the nonsense he was spouting.

Knocked off the Goblin King's head indeed. They were tough little monsters. It would take two tries with any sword that would be found within the Shire...at the bare minimum. Well, an Elf blade might do the deed in one she supposed...those blades were wickedly keen after all.

It was safe to say that no one would be finding out as long as she was in charge.

"I think you made all of that up," she told the wizard sternly.

"Yes, well, all good tales deserve a little embellishing," he coughed.

A little?

She chuckled at this.

A Took had taken the head of the Goblin King - that was a fact - but she was certain it had not been as...clean as Gandalf was painting it.

She had signed the contract. Against her better judgement her signature now sat below that of Thorin and Balin on the elaborately worded legal document now sitting in the Royal Counsellor's pocket. They were heading to slay a dragon (if he still lived) and take back their home. Worthy goals...and she would help them win their home if she could but there were bigger things to worry about. Shadows were rising...a darkness was growing and talking of the dragon had brought it back to her. She could no longer turn a blind eye to this.

A line would have to be drawn in the sand.

They had just shoved her towards the trolls. How dare they! For all they knew she would be troll jelly in two seconds flat.

She stomped towards the three brothers, her anger bubbling within her. She had spent the past weeks travelling with a smelly group of men who had found great joy in making her the butt of a grand number of jokes as they tried to shock her into some sort of feminine reaction and now this.

Well, she would deal with these three and then she would let the company know that she was finished with their behaviour and if the two princes couldn't be trusted to look after the ponies they shouldn't be left alone.

She liked the company as a whole. Really she did. They were nice enough and just being themselves when they tried winding her up but it still made her angry and right now...this...this was the last straw.

"Hoot like a barn owl and a screech owl," she muttered to herself. How in the name of the Shire was she to know what they sounded like?

She drew neared to the trolls and cleared her throat so she would be heard over their arguing.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded.

She should have known that the ruined cottage had been given some help along the way. Why couldn't anyone ever do as they were told any more? She left clear instructions to be followed. Surely it wasn't that difficult. The treaties became void for those who passed the boundaries and these three might as well have been at Bag End for all the protection the treaties could give them now.

The three trolls - young for their kind - stopped mid-argument and turned to face her, slack jawed and wide eyed.

She stopped her approach and tapped her bare foot on the leaf and twig covered ground, her arms folded across her chest. She wasn't as impressive as she could be but it would have to do for the time being.

"Well?"

The trolls tripped over themselves as they abandoned the fire and stew pot - she hoped pony or sheep was the only meat bubbling in that pot - and stumbled towards her, each dropping to their knees before her and bowing their heads.

"Mistress,"

"Well...you see...we...well…"

She cleared her throat again, silencing them immediately.

She wasn't truly angry with them she had learned years ago that things were different for them. For all of them. Besides they were just boys really.

"Bert, explain please,"

The cook - the eldest of the three - raised his head and looked at her.

"Well, mistress, you was gone so long. We was bored. So we thought we'd come find you…"

He trailed off and she watched with no little amusement as they all three shifted, trying to hide the fire and the stolen ponies from her sight.

She shook her head but was unable to hide the small smile that came to her lips. They were like children caught slipping cookies from the jar before dinner.

"And the ponies?" she raised an eyebrow.

There was a moment or two of silence while Bert scratched his head as he struggled to organise his thoughts.

"Well we got a bit peckish, Mistress. We was gonna take some home with us, honest. And we tried to be good. We only had one leathery two legger for dinner the other night,"

"Yeah," piped up Tom, the youngest of the three eagerly, "Cos the other's was too quick,"

"Shut up, idiot," hissed William - the roughest of the bunch - hitting his brother over he back of the head.

"Ouch," whined Tom in a high pitched squeal, rubbing at the abused spot at the back of his skull.

Bilbo pinched the top of her nose. So they had been responsible for the farmer. She couldn't blame them. It was in their nature and they were right. She had been gone for some time. But to have eaten the farmer. That was going to take some explaining. At least the rest of his family seemed to have escaped from the hungry threesome.

She sighed. Nothing was ever simple any more.

"Enough," she shouted before the scene could dissolve into a three way scuffle. She had no intention of being in the vicinity of the three brothers when they got into a fight. They had a tendency to stomp around a lot with little care of what was around them. And roll. Bilbo was sturdy but she was not sturdy enough to survive being rolled over by a nearly fully grown mountain troll.

"You will free the ponies and return to the mountain,"

The three stared at her in silence.

"Am I understood?" she prompted.

"Yes," they muttered one by one.

"Very well. There are some hours of darkness left, you will start your journey now,"

...To Be Continued...

This is an idea that I have been planning out for a wee while now and now that NaNoWriMo is here I am using it as an excuse to get it all scribbled down.

Maybe random and weird but I needed to get it out my head and onto the computer screen.

Please let me know what you think :)