Quotes:

It's the small details that kill you.

If something simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. Just to spite you.

If you think things can't get any worse it's only because you lack sufficient imagination.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

I dream of a better world... where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

What use will rules and honor be when you are dead?

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh harder.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back, relax, and watch them wonder how you did it.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If you have one person staring at a spot on the pavement, you're a weirdo. If you have two people, there must be something interesting.

There is a point where caution becomes paranoia.

Laws of Anime Physics: 1. There are none. 2. Refer to above.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

It is indeed true that a 'person' is smart, but 'people' are... otherwise.

If you wish to protect that which you must protect - slice the enemy you must defeat from behind.

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

Love me or hate me. Personally I could not care less.

Don't follow in my footsteps... I run into walls.

The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf.

Osedax mucofloris. It's a worm whose Latin name translates as 'bone-eating snot-flower'.

It's amazing how many problems can be solved with a well-placed explosion.

Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.

There are at least 5.6 million vending machines in Japan. For some reason, 95% of these serve beverages.

The only way to keep healthy is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

If at first you don't succeed - skydiving is not for you.

Women who think they are the equal of men lack ambition.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

(눈_눈) In reference to the bored look that Levi carries 98% of the time.

"To be great is to be misunderstood." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"That which does not kill you was simply not permitted to do so for the purposes of the plot." Shamus Young

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." Jeff Valdez

"When in doubt: C4." Jamie, Mythbusters

"I reject your reality, and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"Failure is always an option." Mythbusters

"If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error." Kenneth Galbraith

"Reality continues to ruin my life." Bill Watterson

"Some have been thought as brave because they were afraid to run away." Thomas Fuller

"School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working towards a future you don't know will ever come." Dave Kellet

"It has been (X) days since Eren Jeager was last kidnapped." Attack On Titan Memes, Tv Tropes

"You're the night sky, and I'm the day sky. You won't let me see the darkness that you surround yourself with, leaving me standing alone in the light. But if you stand, together, in the darkness, isn't that better than standing alone in the light?" The Truth of the Sky, by LeoInuyuka

"The damn [essay] was 83 pages long, with densely packed writing and several illustrations, and included such gems like a florid 5-page description of a particular tree that caught Naruto's attention, a meandering essay on the transitory nature of life, and a short poem about mist. Apparently unable to think of something to write in the remaining 27 pages, and unwilling to let them go to waste, he folded them into a variety of origami animals - 'as a present to Ibiki, for being such a swell guy'. As of right now, nobody had managed to read the entirety of the report without dozing off in the process. How Naruto managed to make that report in only 6 hours was truly a mystery for the ages." Scorpion's Disciple, by nobody102

"Slytherin can help you on your way to greatness. The other houses can help you make sure no one sees it coming." The Truest Slytherin by me malum

"Shinobi humour is warped - look underneath the underneath and both jokes are still cold as ice." It's a Mad Mad World by Memory25

"Gandalf seems to solve Middle Earth's problems by tossing hobbits towards it." Unnoticeable, LullabyKnell

"The only difference between heroism and stupidity is the success rate." Bilbo Baggins and the Curse of Heroic Stupidity, TheLittleMuse

"God didn't bless him with any special skill or talent so, like a true Devil Bat, he decided to spit in God's face and succeed anyway." Taming the Demon,

"Even Hell runs on money." The Cost of Living, livezinshadowz

"In ten minutes [Naruto] managed to convince me Orochimaru had decied to come visit. The scorecard doesn't go high enough to give him a rating. Is there any way I can get the kid to look over the traps for ROOT headquarters?" Danzo's Team, Kosmos00

"I don't see why not. Leaf village standard operating procedures have already been twisted beyond recognition anyway." Danzo's Team, Kosmos00

"Whatever idiot decided to wear all black and carry three heavy scrolls in the desert deserved to be congratulated for surviving this long." Dawn's Sage, Panory Bro

"White Zetsu: We never get to go swimming! Black Zetsu: Because we can't swim. We drown." Dawn's Sage, Panory Bro

"Warning: Private property. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. Unwanted guests may also be clubbed with extreme prejudice. Seriously. Get the fuck off my lawn." The Mafia Wants You!, SwordsMagician

"Do not fuck with us, because we are cold, hungry, and you taste excellent with herbs and spices." They Grow Them in Nibelheim, Erisah Mae

"Your curse takes you down with it; mine takes the world." Sealed in a Coffin, Sodium Bicarb

"Better dead and with family than alive and alone." Sealed in a Coffin, Sodium Bicarb