This oneshot takes place before the GoM fell apart, back before Akashi started referring to everyone by their first names, and is not set in the same verse as Kuroko no Tough As Nails.

Aomine was not amused.

He wasn't.

Really . . .

Yeah, okay, he really was. And it was getting harder and harder not to give in to the urge to crack up and start rolling around on the floor in laughter.

Kuroko, staring balefully at him from the floor, ropes still wrapped around his torso, securing his arms to his sides, while he was still half sitting in the gunny sack that he'd been stuffed into, did not help anything.

And normally, seeing Akashi that furious would have been terrifying, but knowing that he was safe on his captain's side, and that all his ire was aimed at another party, made Aomine feel like gloating.

Maybe he should contrive to get Kuroko kidnapped by the baseball club more often. Not that he'd actually caused this intentionally, but he was pretty sure he had been the one to plant the seed in the basketball club members' minds.

Backing up to the start of this little misadventure . . .

Aomine actually liked gym class. It was the only class he didn't ever sleep through. Even though they didn't always play basketball in it, he got to get up and be active, stead of stuck in a desk all day, his legs cramping. As an added bonus, this year his class shared gym slots with Kuroko's class. Everything was more fun with his best friend around, even though Kuroko was horrible at pretty much every sport.

When it came time for their classes to do their baseball unit, Aomine wasn't expecting anything to be different.

So, understandably, he was a little bit confused when Kuroko's class selected Kuroko to be their pitcher.

"Oh . . . oh, shit."

"Huh? What are you whining about?" Aomine asked.

"They've got that invisible kid. We're screwed," said Ukio, one of Aomine's classmates who was in the soccer club.

"Huh? You mean Tetsu?"

Ukio shrugged. "I think his name's Kokoro actually. Or something like that."

"What's there to be worried about?" asked Yukawa, the vice-captain of Teiko's nationally renown baseball club. "He's not in the baseball club. Or if he is, he's third string or something. Definitely not first."

"He's in the basketball club," Aomine immediately defended his friend. "And he's in the first string there."

"No way."

"He is."

"I believe it," said Ukio.

"After seeing his pathetic performances in every sport our classes have played all year?" Yukawa sneered.

"I was in his class last year," said Ukio. "He's . . . well, I'll just let you see for yourselves."

Midorima was in Aomine's class that year, so he was on Aomine's team. And he was the first up to bat. Aomine heard their exchange from his place in line, a few hitters back.

"I'm surprised your team chose you for that position, Kuroko. But I should warn you –"

"Strike one!" called their gym teacher, who was acting as the umpire.

"What?"

"I apologize, Midorima-kun," said Kuroko. "I thought you were ready."

The catcher, a kid from Kuroko's class named Mafuji, tossed the ball back to Kuroko as Midorima muttered about sneaky Aquariuses.

"Are you ready now, Midorima-kun?" asked Kuroko.

"Yes. And I promise you, you'll not succeed in getting a ball past me again."

Kuroko took a stance similar to the one he used for his Ignite Pass, and threw the ball a second time.

"Strike two!"

"What the hell is up with his pitching form?" asked Yukawa. "It's totally messed up."

"To you, maybe, but it works for him," Ukio sighed. "This is going to be a boring game for us. We're not going to get any hits.

"The hell we're not!" Yukawa shouted.

"Strike three! You're out!"

Aomine watched in amusement as Midorima stormed away, muttering about how he didn't play baseball anyway, or even like it, as the next batter stepped up.

As Ukio predicted, it turned out to be a boring game. Kuroko didn't let anyone get a single hit. Not even Yukawa, who'd been so determined that he was going to beat this upstart pretender to the noble sport of baseball. It was funny, Aomine thought, watching him turn red when Kuroko struck him out while keeping a completely deadpan, almost bored look on his face.

Aomine didn't manage to get a hit either, but he wasn't really expecting to. Not after seeing all the other kids from the baseball club who were in his class fail in the face of Kuroko's ridiculously fast fastball. Aomine didn't put any time into practicing baseball, so even though he was a good athlete, his batting skills weren't anything particularly special.

"Hey, Tetsu. Looks like your Ignite Passes turned out to be useful for more than just basketball," he said to Kuroko when he stepped up to bat.

"It appears so," said Kuroko, toneless as per usual. "Are you ready, Aomine-kun?"

He had taken to asking everyone if they were ready, Aomine had noticed, after multiple people claimed they hadn't been. Even when they definitely had been.

"Yep. Let it fly, Tetsu!"

And so Kuroko did.

Using a smaller, harder ball made Kuroko's Ignite Pitch (as Aomine decided it needed to be called) even faster and more dangerous than his Ignite Pass. If he hit someone in the head with one of those, it would probably kill them, or at least concuss them. His catcher friend was wincing every time he caught the ball, even though he had on a heavily padded glove.

"Man," Aomine said cheerfully after his third strike. "We're going to have to keep an eye on you."

"What do you mean, Aomine-kun?"

"To make sure the baseball club doesn't try to carry you away."

Aomine had meant that as a joke. Really. He hadn't meant it to be serious at all. He hadn't thought for a second that it was a legitimate thing to be concerned about. If he did, he wouldn't have made that comment anywhere near Yukawa.

But as it happened, Yukawa had heard that offhand comment. And he decided to grab it and run with it.

"Ne, Aka-chin," said Murasakibara, wandering into practice late. "Did you give the baseball club permission to borrow Kuro-chin?"

The other members of the Generation of Miracles, who hadn't really begun practicing in earnest yet, since two of their friends were missing, paused in their warm up.

"Most assuredly not," said Akashi. Then his eyes narrowed. "Why do you ask?"

"Uhmn. Because that's what their captain told me when I asked what they were doing with Kuro-chin."

"What do you mean?" asked Akashi, a dangerous aura beginning to surround him.

"What were they doing with Kurokocchi?" Kise demanded.

"Huh? Well, they were taking him to their away game. But I thought it was weird because he was tied up, and they stuffed him in a sack when they saw me coming." Murasakibara scratched his head.

"And you didn't think maybe something was wrong with that picture?" demanded Midorima, looking incensed.

"I did. But they said Aka-chin gave them permission. So I thought I should double check and make sure before I crushed them." With that, Murasakibara walked right back out of the gym.

The other Miracles exchanged glances then, without a word, followed, throwing down whatever equipment they were holding, or their water bottles and towels, and moving with urgent, deadly intent, to fall in step beside Murasakibara.

People actually got out of their way in the halls when they saw them coming.

The basketball club was trying to make a fast getaway, you could tell. Unfortunately, it took a lot more time to mobilize twenty plus people than it did to mobilize five, and the first string bus was still in the parking lot.

"They're coming! Oh God, they're coming!" shouted the first year who had obviously been given the unenviable task of being their lookout. "It's them! Quick! Run! Hide! Panic or something!"

The lookout was swatted aside by Murasakibara, then stepped on by Aomine as the Generation of Miracles stormed up to the bus.

"Return our Sixth Man," said Akashi in a voice so cold that it would have frozen a volcano. "At once."

"Akashi-san," said the baseball club's captain, "look, I can explain –"

"At once!"

The baseball players looked amongst each other anxiously. Some were too nervous to move and obey the captain of the Generation of Miracles. Others were too stupid and thought that they could possibly gain something by being defiant.

"Look. We just need to borrow him for one game. East Kamata's too good at hitting special balls, but weak against fastballs, and our best fastball pitcher's got a shoulder injury –"

"That is your problem. Not ours," growled Akashi.

"We just need to borrow Kuroko-kun –"

"This is your last chance."

"It's just for one game! One game, then our school is in the playoffs. We're all Teikou! Don't you want our school's baseball team to go to Koushien? You know the school motto."

"Yes, I do," said Akashi, his eyes flashing with a furious light. "And it is not 'All for one, and one for all.'"

"Look, we just need him for one game!" said Yukawa, stepping up in front of Akashi. "Then you can have him back."

Akashi looked like a stone statue, cold and impassive. "I gave you more than a fair chance. Murasakibara-kun. Take back Kuroko-kun. Crush anyone who gets in your way."

"Mmmn," said Murasakibara as he shoved aside a brave but stupid soul who had been attempting to block the bus entrance. "This is really troublesome."

A minute later saw two baseball players nursing minor injuries (a sprained wrist and a minor concussion) and Kuroko outside, on the ground, still tied up but no longer stuffed in a sack, giving Aomine the most annoyed blank expression possible. To anyone who didn't know him, he probably appeared quite expressionless. But the Generation of Miracles all knew him well enough to know that this was the most baleful expression Kuroko was capable of. You could practically see those angry vein marks that they used in manga and anime popping up beside his head.

"Hey, Tetsu! We were looking for you. We figured you got tied up with something. We didn't figure you did so quite so literally," Aomine said, giving in to the urge to laugh, and bending over nearly double.

"Kurokocchi! We were so worried!" Kise surged forward to glomp the captured shadow. "I thought that we would never see you again!"

"Kise-kun. Please release me."

"So mean!"

" . . . From these ropes, I mean. They're too tight."

"Oh. Oh!" Kise immediately set about trying to untie Kuroko. "I can't get these knots out! They're too tight. Does anyone have a pair of scissors?"

No one had any scissors. And the knots really were too tight. Midorima and Kise together couldn't get them untied. Akashi was too busy verbally tearing the members of the baseball team a new one, and Murasakibara apparently had decided that he'd done enough for now, and stood slouching next to Akashi, but still managing to look intimidating just from his size alone.

And Aomine was in no shape to help. He was too busy laughing it up. Though he had the feeling either Kuroko or Akashi might make him regret it later, he couldn't help it. The whole situation was just too funny.

Eventually, Akashi decided that nothing more could be gained from further turning the members of the baseball club into cowering messes, and frowned to see Kuroko was still tied up.

"We'll take this back to the club room," he decided. "Murasakibara-kun, carry Kuroko-kun there."

Kuroko immediately protested. "I can walk."

He was promptly ignored. Murasakibara hoisted him up into the air with no further fanfare. The sight only made Aomine laugh harder.

"Hey, if you're too embarrassed Tetsu, maybe we should put you back in the sack? That way no one will see you being carried around, all tied up."

For that remark he received the Kuroko version of the stink eye.

"Aomine," said Akashi impatiently.

"Sorry, I'm not sorry!

At least he wasn't then. But he most certainly was later, when Akashi found out that it was his offhand remark that gave Yukawa the idea of kidnapping Kuroko, and Akashi made him clean the floors of all four of Teiko's gyms with a toothbrush.

Some good news for everyone who liked "Kuroko no Graffiti Artist." You'll be happy to know that I've continued that oneshot in its own fic, Kuroko no Street Artist.

And now for some great news: I've been working with the talented artist yellowoctopus333, who is drawing a series of pictures that go with the fic. Every single piece of street art mentioned in the fic, every work of graffiti that Kuroko painted that's described, is being drawn by YellowOctopus333 and posted on her DeviantArt page. There are links to it in my profile. Make sure you check it out, because with each picture, she's also posting a minific that I wrote, that's being posted exclusively beside her art. We've been working together for over a month, planning this story out, in both words and in pictures, and we're really excited about what we've come up with. She updated again just yesterday, posting the third picture in the series, and I'll be updating my fic again by the end of the week. So please check them both out!