A/N: I so shouldn't be starting another story with my other two that I'm also writing, but this has been running through my head and I had to get it out. Yes it's a self-insert. Every fan-girl is entitled to at least one. This will have hints of spiritual/religious belief, but it's nothing big. I'm not gonna be throwing it in your face. You probably won't even notice it.

On another note, I'm a pervert. Hence this story will probably be more horny than your average story. And also hence why this will be rated M. Like most of my stories, this one is for my own fun, and my kind of fun is at least rated M. Oh and the title...I don't even know. I might change it if I find something better. :D

~Sense of Bad Direction~

The first thing I felt as I woke up was a distinct wrongness. The second was that the bed I had fallen asleep on was not this soft, the sheets felt weird and the blankets distinctly heavier. The third…well, I could see clearly through the crust of my eyes. I hadn't been able to see clearly without glasses for a long time.

I sat up swiftly and pulled the blankets up to my chest. My eyes darted around the room as I looked around in a panicked haze. I had no idea where I was and it scared the crap out of me. Everything about this room was different. My room was what you would expect of an average boy until people saw the panties and bras littering the floor. It was only until people saw those that they realized it was my room and not my brothers.

This room though…it…it WAS a boys room. There were posters of scantily dressed Asian girls and a few skateboards hanging on the wall. A pair of boxers was sitting on top of a full hamper and I plugged my nose on reflex. I could feel my heart beating in my chest and I realized it probably wasn't helping that I was keeping myself from breathing through my nose. I let go of my nose and breathed in slowly with a grimace.

Alright Ana, this isn't you. You don't freak out; you're cool, you're calm. With that mantra going through my head, I slid out from under the comforter and set my sock covered feet on the wooden floor. In a fit of sardonic humor, I realized that I was afraid to get out of bed. I was afraid to get up on my own two feet and explore the room.

Idiot, stop being a scardey-cat.

I stood up on shaky feet and realized I didn't know what to do. I gazed around the room before a desk across the room caught my eye. There were picture frames sitting near the back of the desk. I shuffled over and somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that things looked…bigger than they used to be. I was used to ceilings being closer to my head.

I stood with my hands against my chest to keep them from shaking. This was all just so weird. The first picture that caught my eyes was what seemed like a family photo. They were all Asian. It didn't cross my mind to inspect any of the people in the photo further because them being Asian was weird enough. I was of European decent, plus there were usually as many Asians as Mexicans where I lived. To see only Asians in these photos…was strange.

All the photos on the desk were of people I didn't know. A few had what looked like a family and the others had students grouped together in them. They looked quite happy in fact. I took a step back and looked over the room again. Getting a second look at the furniture I realized it had a distinct Japanese feel to it. My brother had stayed in Japan a few years and that interest had rubbed off on me. I can now say that I could recognize Japanese architecture from other Asian countries.

My body shook with slight tremors as a thought crossed my mind and I walked slowly towards a mirror hanging on the back of the room's door. I was afraid to look in to the reflection but I didn't think I could not look either. My breath caught when I finally got a good look at myself.

That…wasn't me.

That…was a boy.

"Ahhhh!"

I may have overreacted by screaming and falling backwards onto my ass, but I felt like it was totally justified. No on just wakes up a boy!

The hair and eye color may have been the same; honey brown hair and cloudy green eyes, but the ethnicity…was way off. I felt my face in wonder. It was strange having the contours of my face look and feel so different. It was so…heart shapped; so cliché, yet undeniably cute. I was...a bishounen.

And I was short…well, shorter. I was used to a height of about 5'6" (170 cm I thought unconsciously), but now I doubted I reached over 5'. Wait…

"How did I know that?"

I don't remember knowing metric measurements, but…wait…I did? Yes, it was there. I can remember learning the metric system in school. But…

I grasped my head in confusion and found tears leaking out of my eyes. Which school was it? The one in the United States or the one I had went to here in Japan?

No!

"Kota? What's going on?"

I found my breath hitching at the clear Japanese being spoken to me. I shouldn't be able to understand that!

"Kota!"

I blacked out.

I remember floating. Doing something I shouldn't have done. Reaching out too far.

I had done this before, reaching out into the cosmos, stretching out a sense that was so different from my others. But I had gone too far.

I had gone so far that I couldn't go back.

It was darkness all around me. I couldn't have been sure if hours or years passed. I was scared. I was cold. I blindly reached out with my senses; shapeless hands…tendrels. I needed to get out. It was too dark.

When I saw that light, that golden thread peeking out of the darkness, I grabbed at it with all my might. I pulled desperately, hoping that it would lead me out of the darkness.

It did. And then I was blinded by the light.

"Kota-kun."

I groaned at someone calling my name. I brought my hands up to rub at the slight pounding of my forehead before opening my eyes slowly. I was back in my room. I don't know why, but it was as if something was out of place. My room looked like it did last time…nothing was out of place…so what was wrong?

My eyes widened as the haze of sleep lifted from my mind. I sat up fast and regretted it immediately afterward. I dug the palms of my hands into my eyes to try and stop the pounding of my head. Of course something was wrong! I had been thinking I was this Kota person! But I was Ana! Wasn't I?

A gentle touch brushing my bangs back halted my mind flat.

"Kota-kun…are you alright?"

My eyes widened as I stared into the face of what my mind was telling me was my mother. She was the typical Asian beauty; soft skin, almond shaped brown eyes, and dark brown hair. Her fingers drifted from my hair to my cheek as she stared into my eyes with concern.

"Why don't you stay home from school today? Your fainting really worried me."

I simply nodded at a loss for words. What was I supposed to say? That I didn't think I was her son? That my head felt like it was put through a meat grinder? I watched as she straightened out my blanket and patted my head before leaving the bedroom.

It wasn't until I couldn't hear her footsteps anymore that I felt it was safe to get up and walk around. She's my mother, why wouldn't I feel safe? I shook my head to clear myself of those thoughts. It was still too weird to admit any of this was real. There was no way this was real.

I walked slowly over to the mirror and stared into it. Who was that strange person staring back at me? The hair color was the same as mine, cut into a feathered style that fell just below my ears and tapered at my neck. My eyes were slanted but wider than most people with an Asian background that I had known in my past life.

My past life? Am I already calling it that?

I drew my fingers softly along the bottom of my eyes. The irises were a cloudy green, something I was glad to have not changed. It helped remind me who I really was inside this body. Even though I felt like I was this Kota, even though I seemed to have his memories, my eyes helped to remind me that I was also someone else. I was a girl stuck in a boy's body.

"What the hell is going on?"

I slid my hands through my hair in frustration. This wasn't supposed to have happened. But it did.

And I had a feeling I couldn't go back.

I furiously wiped the tears away before they could fall. My life as Ana…it was gone now. I was stuck here. I knew instinctively that I had messed with things that were far beyond my understanding. I may have had the ability, but I didn't have the control. And now I had to pay for it.

I slumped back to my bed and fell face first into it. It was only when my face was buried in the pillow that I gave in and let the tears fall. I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of a door bell ringing. I moaned at being woken up but sat up anyways. My eyes felt bleary and swollen from crying, but my heart felt light and free. I knew crying hadn't solved my problems, but it had made them seem more bearable.

"Kota-kun! Your friends are here to see you!"

I blinked at that before my heart raced in fright. Friends?! I scrambled off my bed and into the bathroom across the hall. No doubt my eyes were still swollen and red and there was no way I would let them see that I had been crying! I turned the sink on in a rush and wasted no time splashing my face with cold water. It sent chills through my body but I grimaced and continued to wash my face.

"Oi! Inoue, where you at?!"

I blinked and realized with a start that he was calling for me. That was…Tatsumi Ryuunosuke, a bit of a bully but also one of Kota's better friends. He was often called a delinquent because of his glaring eyes and wild hairstyles.

"Pfft, you sound like you're calling him out to a fight."

The recollection came faster this time. Ogawa Yoshi. Long, stylish, blonde hair and a love for piercings. Prideful and a little sadistic. Also considered a delinquent and a bully.

What kind of friends did my alternate man-self make?

"A-ah. Hold on. Just…wait in my bedroom."

I heard them mumble and close the door to my room. Relieved that they weren't going to barge in on me in the bathroom, I turned my attention back to the mirror. It was strange how easy it was to bring up memories of Kota, but I guess that's just how merging with your alternate-self worked.

Inoue Kota was a Japanese middle school student in his third year. He lived in a town called Namimori and attended Namimori Middle School. Kota was bullied as a kid for having a foreigner as a father and tended to take that pain out on others. Because of this he made friends with the other cast off kids in town and over the years they formed their own little crew of delinquents. The only reason Kota hadn't dyed his hair or gotten any piercings was because of his love for his mother. He wanted to let her believe he was still a good kid.

His friends were here today…because he had promised to tutor them. Good scores always came easy to Kota. And now I had to go out there and act like nothing was wrong with me…er Kota. I needed to get used to being called the name Kota eventually. I dried my face and left the bathroom.

When I opened the door to my room Kota's two friends were already relaxing around the low sitting table in the middle of the room.

"Hey."

I had to beat down my nerves when their eyes landed on me. Two sides of me were warring for control; one was saying these two were friends and the other said they were strangers. I really needed more time alone later to sort through my head.

"Oi, Inoue, what's up with you ditching us at school today?"

I rolled my eyes before sitting down at the table next to them and reaching for some snacks my mom had brought up while I was in the bathroom.

"I blacked out this morning and hit my head. Mom was worrying over me so I stayed home."

Ogawa snickered as he leaned over the table and poked a finger into my cheek.

"You are such a momma's boy Inoue."

I blushed and looked away from him. They may be Kota's friends but I wasn't so used to casual touching. I slapped his finger away and got out my notes, trying to ignore the heat on my cheeks. I realized the two were strangely quiet and I chanced a look up. Both were looking at me with wide eyes and stupefied looks on their faces. Had I done something strange?

"Um…what's up?"

That shocked the two of them out of their stupor. Ogawa was looking at me as if I had done something amazing and Tatsumi looked as if he was horrified at something. I felt my face in confusion for something that would make them react so weirdly but I felt nothing out of place. The nerves I had in my past life popped up as they stared at me and I couldn't help but look down at my lap. No tears, no tears! They aren't laughing at you!

"Did…did I do something wrong?"

"PFFFT!"

I stared at Ogawa horrified as he hunched over the table and laughed his ass off. He really was laughing at me! He waved a hand at me as he peeked up at me from his arms, tears of laughter falling from his eyes.

"No-nothing's wrong! Just…pfft…don't worry about it."

I pouted and glanced over at Tatsumi looking for some confirmation. These friends of Kota's really did seem to be bullies! So not fair. Tatsumi was resolutely paying attention to the work on the desk in front of him, but when he felt my eyes on him he glanced in my direction. I might have been mistaken but I swore I saw a blush cross his cheeks before he looked away and tried to hide his face. Can't even look at me huh? I swear I felt a vein twitch on my forehead.

"Well fine! See if I help you study again!"

Both froze before kowtowing before me, an apology running out of Ogawa's mouth.

"Please oh master of all things good; don't leave your poor brothers to drown! We'll be good, I swear!"

I snickered inside but outward I glared down my nose at them. It was good having people bow to me. I sniffed before smiling and focusing back on teaching the fools.

"Good to know. Now get to work."

Things got a little more back to normal after that. It was kind of weird how easily I slipped into the role of Kota. I guess we really did merge together. It made me both happy and sad in a way; I was happy that my consciousness didn't disappear, but in a way sad that in the merge I took over Kota. Could he even be considered alive anymore? Where did the consciousness and the soul differ? Alright, now I'm just confusing myself.

I peeked up at Ogawa and Tatsumi. The two had calmed down after that laughing fit but I was still confused as to what caused it.

"So…what were you really laughing about? Don't try to put it off this time either. I want to know."

Ogawa and Tatsumi shared a look before drilling me with their eyes. I couldn't help gulping in fear. Ogawa pointed his pencil at me before he spoke.

"I'll give it to you straight Inoue; you were being creepily seductive."

"Wha..?"

Tatsumi nodded and glared at me as if I had done him some terrible wrong.

"You looked like a girl. A cute girl."

What? Oh no. Did I somehow bleed over onto Kota? Was he not this cute before I merged with him or something? Did my looks from my past life somehow blend over onto him?

"I…really?"

"Stop! You're doing it again! You're like a damned kitten!"

I don't know what it was, maybe it was me, maybe it was Kota's mean side, but seeing Tatsumi cover his eyes to hide from me was just too hilarious. I had to tease him.

"Ohh~?"

I jumped at him and pushed him down with an evil cackle. Tatsumi let out a girly scream when I landed on top of him and held his arms down. I heard Ogawa sniggering off to the side as I straddled Tatsumi's hips and bent down over him. The way his eyes widened and his face paled as I hovered centimeters from his lips was just too satisfying.

"Kitten huh? Maybe I should just molest you."

"NOOOOO! OGAWA SAVE ME!"

It was an all-out wrestling match from there. I kept on trying to lay kisses on Tatsumi and he tried his hardest to keep away from me. I drew Ogawa into it as well when all he was doing was laughing, thinking he was free from my kisses of doom. It was actually pretty fun rough housing with Kota's two best friends. We were making so much noise that eventually my mom came up to see what was going on.

"Kota? What's all that noise?"

I froze underneath Ogawa's hold and looked up at my mom in the doorway. I threw off Ogawa and was satisfied when he hit his head on the floor.

"Nothing mom, just boys being boys."

She giggled behind her hand before getting ready to leave.

"Well alright then, just try not to break anything honey."

"Sure mom."

My two friends started snickering as the door closed and I made sure to kick Tatsumi in the stomach when he whispered 'momma's boy'.

"Yeah yeah, now get out of my house. Study time is over."

Ogawa sat up from where he was rolling around on the floor and rubbed his head.

"What, we can't stay for dinner?"

"No. My mom has enough trouble as it is feeding just the two of us. I don't need you making it any harder on her."

Tatsumi grabbed the back on Ogawa's head and dragged him out of the room. It was satisfying listening to the little groans Ogawa made at the pain. Tatsumi stopped at the door and looked back at me, his composure back up and glare on his face.

"You better be at school tomorrow Inoue or I'll drag you there myself."

I nodded my head to show I understood before the two left. I listened to them bid goodbye to my mother downstairs before sighing and leaning against my bed. It was…an effort being Kota in front of those two. That wasn't to say it was hard, but it was…disturbing that I could fall into Kota's personality so easily. I was starting to understand that we both really were the same person, just of alternate realities.

"Ugh, what a mess."

I'll have to spend tonight going through my head while I'm sleeping. Dream-walking had always been an ability of mine. It was one of the reasons I was here now actually; my soul had wondered too far from my reality while exploring. I hadn't thought to find a way to tether my soul to my body. I was naïve to think it would always find its way back.

Stupid, stupid.

"Kota! Dinner's ready!"

"Coming!"

I really hope this Namimori Middle School wasn't too much trouble. I really didn't need anything else on top of being stuck in my alternate self's body.

A/N: Review and tell me what you think. :D I can take it. Actually:

Give me your best, over the top, sarcastic, way out there, flame. That'll be fun to read.