Hi! I am the great and awesome Pip, the Dark Lord of All!!!!!

During the summer updates on my stories may be sporadic... apologies. I try to update asap.

I am obsessed with birding. Birds= AWESOMENESS!

I am cracked. AND PROUD OF IT!

Vote on my poll! ( It is precioussss to me)

I will answer everyone who reviews my stories!

Copy and paste this into your profile if:

The last time your brother annoyed you, you were like: Get thee gone, and take they due place!

When your dad got home from work last night, you greeted him with a Nazgul SCREEEEEEEEECHHHH and he answered with one.

And when your mom told you to sweep the kitchen, you were like: I am not programmed to respond in that area.

The End.

If you are proud to be part of the "Mary Sue Fellowship" and have endured flames from a certain Guest reviewer, or are bothered by these flames, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name: Sixty-Four K, Pip the Dark Lord of All

Sir Christopher Lee passed away just recently on June 7, 2015. Copy and Paste this and add your name to the list, as a little memorial to him, one of the greatest British actors of our day, whom I first knew as Saruman the white. We remember you, Sir Christopher Lee, thank you for sharing your greatness with the world. ~ThurinRanger

Have any of you heard of the fanfic writer Erestor? If not, you need to look her up and read her stories. If so, I'm sure you've noticed her absence from this website. But I have some news for you. On July first, 2015, me and everyone else I can get are all going to send Erestor at least two PMs each, BEFORE SIX O'CLOCK IN THE EVENING, begging her to return and write some more, or at least respond to us and tell us why she can't. At least two, so that either she'll be touched into replying or her spam box will be swamped. Either way, we'll have tried our hardest. At six o'clock in the evening, in whichever time zone we are in, we are all going to have a sob-fest for Erestor and bring the house down singing the Lament For Erestor, looking left, and crying. For the lyrics to Lament For Erestor, contact me. Once that date has passed, we'll wait a month, and if she still doesn't respond we'll plan to do the same thing, the same date, the next year, and all the years after until she responds. So you better watch out Erestor! If you are planning to do this, please repost it on your profile page and tell all your friends about it, because if this is going to work, we need as many people as we can get. Thanks all!

Jedi hand move* You will copy and paste all of this. -Phillip Callaway; Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, ThurinRanger, Pip the Dark Lord of All

There is an author on here that has suffered from the DisappearingSyndrome, her name is Erestor. If you desperately want her to come back so she can keepwriting amazing stories, please join the movement. Look left when ever you think of her,and copy and paste this to your profile, and add your name to the list. EvenstarWarrior, BlackShaftedArrow, Pip the Dark Lord of All

Everyone, I want you to know. Something terrible has happened - or actually, hasn't happened. Tom Bombadil, Goldberry, and Orophin aren't on the Character List when you search in the LotR area! (Or write a story about them). So basically - they don't exist! *screams in horror* Help me, you wonderful people! We must message support and ask them to add these three!

I am part of the review campaign. We feel that you should review every story you read. Whether it is constructive criticism or praise, it lets the author know that there are people reading their stories. If you agree, post this on your profile and... REVEIW STORIES!

I hereby swear to never leave fan fiction and the friends I've made here without trace. If a circumstance occurs in which I must sever myself from this site, be it known that I will put an explanation on my profile. This is because my heart breaks whenever I read an amazing story, and then find out that the writer is gone. I never know if he/she'll ever come back, and must live my days wondering, hoping against hope that he/she'll return. Signed: Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, Pip the Dark Lord of All

Copy and paste and add your name! We need to stop this cycle of stories that will never be finished and leave poor readers hanging.

This is it guys...this is the last movie we're getting of Middle Earth. (Until they make the Silmarillion, which I'm still firmly convinced is going to happen someday...just not for a long while.) So this is the day we fight together! If this is to end in fire, we will all BURN TOGETHER! There will come a day when the strength of men fails (and they burst into tears and hate the Hobbit movie) BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY! Today we fight! So lets take over the internet with our love for Tolkien! Post #durinsday on everything, in everything, and with everything. FOR GONDOR! DEATH!

The battle for Middle Earth begins. #durinsday

May the hair on your feet never grow less, live long and prosper, and may the force be with you!

Someone asked if I have braces. I do. And I hate them. They inspired me to write the Lord of the Braces.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

Six truths in life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it

3. And discover that it's a lie

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

I sincerely apologize about this but I am an idiot and i needed company =)

If you count as an idiot, post this onto your profile!

I'm not an idiot, I'm a fool of a Took!

10 FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF!
1. You're reading my profile
2. You're realizing that's a stupid fact
4. You didn't notice I skipped three
5. You're checking
6. You're smiling
7. You're still reading my profile
9. You didn't realize I skipped eight
10. You're checking again and smiling about how you fell for it again. :)
11. You are enjoying this
12. You didn't realize there's only supposed to be ten facts

Copy and paste if you fell for it, too. You know you did. LOL

So my best friend and I came up with this thing where you switch the first letters on two words. It can make for quite a lot of hilarity. Here are a few of the best ones...

Wandalf the Gizzard

Lard of Baketown

Brodo Faggins

Gamwise Samgee

Varth Dader

Kames Jirk

It works on quotes too...

The ming is rine!

The ding must be retroyed.

Flaugh it up, luzzball.

Live pong and lrosper.

May the yorce be with fou.

You phall not sass!

One does not simply molk into Wordor.

If you think this is funny, copy and paste into your profile.

If you best friend procrastinates so much she tried to write a 8 page paper the day it was due, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy and paste this onto your profile. I was practicing my screech owl whistle!

If you know what pishing is, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you pish on a regular basis, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

French class. The class where everyone goes to class hoping they don't have to conjugate French verbs. Post this on your profile if you hate French verbs.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

Pyromaniac? Put this in your profile. (YAY FIRE!)

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If your a FanFiction addict, copy this to your profile.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you copy and paste the same copy and paste multiple times to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you copy and paste the same copy and paste multiple times to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you copy and paste the same copy and paste multiple times to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

Actually, I never thought spelling was important.

Fanfiction is for elves and wizards trapped in human bodies.

Fanfiction is for people who have been called at least one of the following- Weirdo, Loner, Nerd, Geek, Shy, Silent, Crazy, Insane, Odd, or Different (I've been called all of those).

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Liza Taylor, fictionlover14, Saffire55, queen92a, Kaitie Kaye, anime-lover10, lindsey and marie enterprises, TimeyWimeyGirl, EvenstarWarrior, Pip the Dark Lord of All

If you ever write FanFictions when you should be doing homework, paying attention in class, etc., put this on your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile

If you always have more than one tab open when on the computer, copy and paste

If you've ever wondered how long a profile can be, copy and paste

If when you are doing homework, you lose concentration and start thinking about fandoms and daydream for hours on end, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If when you hear someone talk about their "Big Day" you don't think of weddings, but you wonder where they went birding, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you dream of going to Attu Island, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you obsessively check every ten minutes to see if you got a new review or PM, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

"A lot of people think they know what a book is. But in reality not that many do. You see a book is not something you do when you're bored; it's not something you were forced to read for a stupid school report. No, a book is something more than that. A book is something that can make you cry for hours for someone who's not even real (no matter how much you want them to be). It's something that can make you laugh on your glummest day, at something that's not even relatively funny. It's something you scream at when something goes wrong and the idiot in the book won't listen to you (no matter how hard you scream). It's something that you get so lost in that you forget the date and where you are for a second. A book is something that's so addicting that even when you say, "This is the last page, and then I'll put it down," you turn the page anyway. It's your best friend through thick and thin, weather you're black or white, fat or skinny, young or old. A book is just that- a book; it's just that some people don't know what a book is, even though you've known your whole life." by xXIceshadowXx. If you agree with this and know what a book is copy and paste this on your profile. (xXIceshadowXx owns all rights to this quotexX)

'Why, O my people,' he cried, 'why should we longer serve these jealous Valar, who cannot keep us, nor their own realm even, secure from their Enemy? And though he be now their foe, are not they and he of one kin? Vengeance calls me hence, but even were it otherwise, I would not dwell longer in the same land with the kin of my father's slayer and the thief of my treasure. Yet I am not the only valiant in this valiant people. And have ye not all lost your king? And what else have ye not lost, cooped here in a narrow land between the jealous mountains and the harvestless Sea? Here once was light, that the Valar begrudged to Middle-earth, but now dark levels all. Shall we mourn here deedless for ever, a shadow-folk, mist-haunting, dropping vain tears in the salt thankless Sea? Or shall we go home? In Kuiviénen sweet ran the waters under unclouded stars, and wide lands lay about where a free folk might walk. There they lie still and await us who in our folly forsook them. Come away! Let the cowards keep this city. But by the blood of Finwë! unless I dote, if the cowards only remain, then grass will grow in the streets. Nay, rot, mildew, and toadstool.'
Long he spoke, and ever he urged the Noldor to follow him and by their own prowess to win freedom and great realms in the lands of the East ere it was too late; for he echoed the lies of Melkor that the Valar had cozened them and would hold them captive so that Men might rule Middle-earth; and many of the Eldar heard then for the first time of the Aftercomers. 'Fair shall the end be,' he cried, 'though long and hard shall be the road! Say farewell to bondage! But say farewell also to ease! Say farewell to the weak! Say farewell to your treasures - more still shall we make! Journey light. But bring with you your swords! For we will go further than Tauros, endure longer than Tulkas: we will never turn back from pursuit. After Morgoth to the ends of the Earth! War shall he have and hatred undying. But when we have conquered and have regained the Silmarils that he stole, then behold! We, we alone, shall be the lords of the unsullied Light, and masters of the bliss and the beauty of Arda! No other race shall oust us!'
Then Fëanor swore a terrible oath. Straightway his seven sons leaped to his side and each took the selfsame oath; and red as blood shone their drawn swords in the glare of the torches.
'Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean,
brood of Morgoth or bright Vala,
Elda or Maia or Aftercomer,
Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth,
neither law, nor love, nor league of swords,
dread nor danger, not Doom itself,
shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin,
whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh,
finding keepeth or afar casteth
a Silmaril. This swear we all:
death we will deal him ere Day's ending,
woe unto world's end! Our word hear thou,
Eru Allfather! To the everlasting
Darkness doom us if our deed faileth.
On the holy mountain hear in witness
and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda!'

Feanaro's speech at Tirion on Túna, because everyone needs it on their profile

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(a little too late, huh?)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Really? Are you sure?)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(I think something got lost in the translation)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Was that a popular problem...?)

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly

10 Sure Ways to Drive People Out of their Minds *

1. When you go to see the play Waiting for Godot,get up halfway through the it and walk onto stage carrying two suitcases, stare at the two patient tramps, and say in your most confident, perky voice: "Hello, I am Godot."

2. When someone proposes to you, stare hypnotized at the ring, then reach a quavering hand out towards it, and break into your best Galadriel: "And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In the place of a Dark Lord you will set up a Queen…" etc., and don't forget "All will love me and despair!"

3. If you are ever asked to be someone's ring bearer at a marriage, dress up as Frodo.

4. When you think someone is acting immature, become Gandalf and soundly lecture him or her with plenty of "Fool of" whatever-their-last-name-happens-to-be put in.

5. Put life sized cardboard cut out black riders all around your house just before guests come.

6. Demand that everyone at school and/or work call you by your Elvish name.

7. When you are in a crowded elevator, start sobbing and tell your fellow passengers that you are the last Elf, and explain exactly how lonely you are because no one can understand you.

8. Pretend you are talking to an invisible Frodo at every opportunity you can get. Tell him not to be so shy, things like that.

9. In the early morning, stand on the top of a slide at a campground and sing, "Everybody's Got a Water Buffalo" at the top of your lungs.

10. Write letters to your neighbors from characters in books and stick them in their mailboxes early in the morning before they wake up.

Note: Each participant is responsible for him/herself. I am in no way accountable for his/her actions.

38 Things To Do In An Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..

38. When you are in the lift with one other person, make a call on your cell phone, and announce into it in your best dead pan voice, "I've got him."

15 ways to annoy a non-Tolkien fan.

1: Insult them in Elvish. Do not offer translations.

2: Tell them they'll end up just like Denethor. Refuse to tell them what happened to Denethor.

3: Threaten to feed them to Shelob. Laugh evilly when they ask who Shelob is.

4: Quote Gandalf. Constantly. No matter how irrelevant the quotes are.

5: Say, 'I would cut off your head for that, if it stood but a little higher from the ground' every time they insult LOTR/The Hobbit.

6: Play 'LOTR in 99 seconds' on a loop whenever they are around.

7: Walk barefoot all day. Say that you are getting in touch with your inner hobbit.

8: Demand an explanation of why they dislike 'the masterpieces of the esteemed Professor' every time you see them.

9: Whenever they suggest doing something, refute it by saying, 'One does not simply (insert verb here)'.

10: Hum the Shire theme incessantly.

11: Whenever a plane flies overhead, shriek, 'wraiths! Wraiths on wings!' and go hide in a closet.

12: Base all English essays on the lord of the rings books or movies.

13: Constantly ask them what their elf eyes see.

14: Talk like Gollum.

15: Threaten them with the wrath of the Valar

Post this on your profile if you want to escape reality!

A student got a 0% on the following exam even when he didn't get anything wrong. How is that?

Q1: In which battle did Napoleon die?

A: In his last battle

Q2: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

A: At the bottom of the paper

Q3: The River Ravi flows in which state?

A: Liquid

Q4: What is the main reason for divorce?

A: Marriage

Q5: What is the main reason for failure?

A: Exams

Q6: What can you never eat for breakfast?

A: Lunch and dinner

Q7: What looks like half an apple?

A: The other half

Q8: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea, what will it become?

A: Wet

Q9: How can a man go eight days without sleeping?

A: He sleeps at night

Q10: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A: You will never find an elephant that only has one hand

Q11: It took eight men ten hours to build a wall. How long will it take four men to build it?

A: No time at all. The wall is already built.

Q12: How can you drop an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it?

A: Any way you want. Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Have an American history teacher explain this… if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Now here's the kicker.

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy, huh?

I will remember Bilbo

When I find hidden courage inside of me
I will remember Thorin
When I lose faith
I will remember Fili
When I protect my siblings
I will remember Kili
When I feel reckless
I will remember Balin
When advising others
I will remember Dwalin
When I need to be strong
I will remember Gloin
When trying to save money
I will remember Oin
When I need to pay attention
I will remember Bombur
When I am cooking
I will remember Bofur
When trying to be positive
I will remember Bifur
When people doubt others by their appearance
I will remember Dori
When I am over-protective
I will remember Nori
When I take my life into my hands
I will remember Ori
When people doubt me because of my age
I will remember Bard
When helping strangers
I will remember Thranduil
When wanting the best for my family
I will remember Smaug
When I want to destroy things
I will remember Gandalf
When I am faced with death

I will remember John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
When reality is ruining my dreams
But when it's time to read the last sentence one more time
And close the book forever more
I will remember one last time
That John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
Has given me a light in dark places

When all the other lights went out

I will remember Frodo

When I am faced with an impossible task
I will remember Sam
When my friend needs me
I will remember Merry
When I want to fight for those I love
I will remember Pippin
When curiosity gets the better of me
I will remember Aragorn
When I can't hide from my future
I will remember Legolas
When defying the laws of friendship
I will remember Gimli
When I feel proud of myself
I will remember Boromir
When I forget about friendship
I will remember Arwen
When I sacrifice things for the people I love
I will remember Elrond
When trying to make wise choices
I will remember Galadriel
When I see that someone has the potential to change the world
I will remember Éowyn
When I cannot be with the one I love
I will remember Éomer
When I look at my siblings
I will remember Theoden
When I see my family for the last time
I will remember Gollum
When I want something to myself
I will remember Faramir
When I feel worthless
I will remember Denethor
When I'm blinded by grief
I will remember Grima
When fear controls me
I will remember Saruman
When I ignore people in need
I will remember Sauron
When I become addicted to power

I will remember John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
When reality is ruining my dreams
But when it's time to read the last sentence one more time
And close the book forever more
I will remember one last time
That John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
Has given me a light in dark places

When all the other lights went out.

COPY AND PASTE THIS IF YOU BELIEVE:

I love dwarves for their loyalty.

I love elves for their accuracy.

I love wizards for their time.

Quotes I think are awesome...

LOTR

You're late!

A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means too. - Frodo and Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring

Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission...quest...thing!

Well that rules you out Pip! - Merry and Pippin, The Fellowship of the Ring

What's that?

This, my friend, is a pint.

It comes in pints? I'm getting one. - Merry and Pippin, The Fellowship of the Ring

Don't worry, Sam. Rosie knows an idiot when she sees one.

Does she? - Frodo and Sam, The Fellowship of the Ring

That still only counts for one! - Gimli, The Return of the King

I feel something...a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.

What did I tell you? He can't hold his liquor. (passes out)

Game over. - Legolas and Gimli, The Return of the King

It's like being back at the Green Dragon. A mug of ale in my hand. Putting my feet up on a settle after a long day's work.

Only you've never done a hard day's work.

(Laughs, agreeing) - Pippin and Merry, The Return of the King

You fool. No man can kill me.

I am no man! (kills him) - The Witch-King and Eowyn, The Return of the King

Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes that same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves, and shattered shields, while the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West! - Aragorn, The Return of the King

Sherlock Holmes

My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don't know. - Sherlock Holmes, The Blue Carbuncle

I wonder what it must be like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring. - Sherlock

Star Wars

Do or do not. There is no try. - Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

You love me because I'm a scoundrel. You need more scoundrels in your life. - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back

Beep beep beep. - R2D2, many times

I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader, A New Hope

(The captain is dead on the floor) Apology accepted, Captain Needa. - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back

I love you.

I know. - Princess Leia and Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back

Laugh it up, fuzzball! - Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back

Impressive. Most impressive. - Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back

Aaaaarrrrggggggkhhhhhhhh... - Chewbacca

Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!

Never tell me the odds. - C3PO and Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back

Not bad for a little furball! - Han Solo, The Return of the Jedi

Star Trek

I don't believe in the no-win scenario. - Admiral Kirk, The Wrath of Khan

I would not presume to debate you.

That is wise. - Kirk and Spock, The Wrath of Khan

They like you very much, but they are not the hell your whales.

I suppose they told you that.

The hell they did.

Riiight. - Spock and Dr. Gillian Taylor, The Voyage Home

If we play our cards right, we may be able to find out when the whales are leaving.

How will playing cards help? - Kirk and Spock, The Voyage Home

Do not risk the ship anymore on my behalf.

Shut up Spock, we're rescuing you!

Why thank you, CAPTAIN McCoy. -Spock and McCoy, The Immunity Syndrome

I'll protect you, fair maiden!

Sorry, neither. - Sulu and Uhura, The Naked Time

COWARDS! - Sulu, The Naked Time

I am glad the affair is over. A most annoying, emotional episode.

Right smack in the old heart. (punches left side) Oh, I'm sorry, in your case it would be about here. (punches right side)

The fact that my internal arrangement differs from yours doctor, pleases me no end. - Spock and McCoy, Mudd's Women

I suppose your logic finds this fascinating, Mr. Spock?

No. "Fascinating" is a word I word I use for the unexpected, in this case I think "interesting" should suffice. - McCoy and Spock, The Squire of Gothos

Live long and prosper, Spock.

I shall do neither. I have killed my captain...and my friend. - T'Pau and Spock, Amok Time

Are you sure you won't change your mind?

Is there something wrong with the one I have? - Dr. Gillian Taylor and Spock, The Voyage Home

My friends, the great experiment: Excelcior, ready for trial runs...

...she's supposed to have transwarp drive.

Aye, and if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagon. - Kirk, Sulu, and Scotty, The Search for Spock

The word, sir?

The word is no. I am therefore going anyway. - Sulu and Kirk, The Search for Spock

Spock!

Jim. Ship...out of danger?

Yes.

Don't grieve...Admiral. The needs of the many...outweigh...

The needs of the few.

Or the one. I never took...the Kobayashi Maru test...until now...what do you think...of my solution?

Spock...

I have been, and always shall be...your friend. Live long and prosper. (dies)

No...! - Kirk and Spock, The Wrath of Khan

Favorite Composers

John Williams, Howard Shore, Beethoven, Wagner

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination. Muahahaha...

You know.. I keep seeing this bunny attempting to take over the world. I don't agree with that.

THIS IS A CHICKEN MAN

\(*v*)/

HIS NAME IS JOE

COPY AND PASTE IF YOU WANT HIM TO DEFEAT THE BUNNY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate it that over two hundred people read a story but you don't get any reviews from any of them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that abortion is murder, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're part of so many fandoms that you find references in practically everything, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

99 percent of FanFiction authors copy and paste stuff on their profile. If you're part of the 99 percent, copy and paste this on your profile

If unfinished stories drive you insane, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you're curious as to how Copy and Paste into your profile started, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you are a Trekkie, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you are big fan of Romulans, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you've been called crazy and took it as a compliment, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you frequently laugh at random memories of funny moments so much so that people question your sanity, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you have read more than five one thousand page books or bigger, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

If you were ever thinking of something and forgot it two seconds later and then spent hours trying to figure out what it was, Copy and Paste this into your profile.

(o) This is a Death Star. Copy and paste it onto your profile to help it gain galactic domination. * that is the last planet to get blown up.

You're a Weirdo...

If you hate all the characters your friends love in certain books and movies, would like to slap them, and don't think they're all that attractive (maybe even ugly);

If you have seriously watched a movie with your friends or family and spent the entire time writing a story;

If you narrate your life in your head (or aloud), usually in third person past tense;

If you would rather read fanfiction off one of your favourite books than actually read one of your favourite books;

If you are bored when your friends talk about the movies they love;

If you occasionally have an unexplainable urge to punch/slap/kick someone just to see what he would do;

If you always have at least two tabs up of fanfiction whenever you're on the computer;

If your room mate has ever woken up to hear you calling the name of the character in the movie you just watched or if you have ever done anything equally crazy in your sleep;

If you can spend hours pondering on the possibility of: getting into other people's dreams, finding (and travelling to) the edge of the universe, inventing a robot or computer that can actually think and feel, surviving for two years by lying in one place (you know, sort of like Odin sleep), or something equally as weird and random;

If you talk back to the TV(The second time I watched LOTR, I spent five minutes of every scene screaming at the characters to run!);

If you talk to yourself (especially in a foreign accent. I do it in a very, very fake British);

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments (for me, these are Lotr, Star Trek original series and original movies, and Star Wars)

If you have your own little world;

If you read this profile, and particularly this section;

If you read this profile, and particularly this section;

Then you are a Weirdo. Weirdos need to know that they are not alone. They need to know that there are other people in this world who are every bit as weird as them. If any of the above describe you, copy and paste this into your profile (you can delete the ones that don't apply to you personally...in fact, you can even add your own...go ahead) and add your name to the list. OneSizeFitsAll, Phillip Callaway, Pip the Dark Lord of All

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all who wander are lost.

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring.

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

Put this in your profile if you will always be a Lord of the Rings fan!

Random comments:

Erestor is awesome.

Thranduil is super fabulous.

Thorin is majestic.

One does not simply put an "one does not simply meme" on a profile.

Glorfindel is super duper awesome.

One does not simply not eat second breakfast.

Lindir loves foodfights.

-Oooo-)-/-oooO-\-(-Oooo-)-/-oooO-\-(-

Really Random Joke:

A man went out to buy a horse. He found one that he liked, but then the man who was selling the horse said, "This horse is special. This horse is a Christian horse."

"How so?" asked the man.

"Well," explained the seller, "when you want him to go, you have to say 'praise the Lord'. And when you want him to stop, you have to say 'amen'."

"Okay," said the man, and paid for the horse.

When he went home to ride the horse, he got on. "Giddyup!" he said, but nothing happened. Then he remembered the horse seller's words, and then said to the horse, "Praise the Lord."

Immediately the horse took off in a gallop. The man hung on for dear life as the horse sped away, and gasped when he saw a steep, high cliff fast approaching. "Whoa!" he shouted. The horse just kept going. Then the man remembered what the horse seller had said, and commanded the horse, "Amen!"

The horse skidded to a stop a mere two feet away from the cliff's edge. The man was so overjoyed that, without thinking, he shouted, "Praise the Lord!"

HERE'S A GOOD JOKE FOR STAR TREK FANS:

How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim that he's a doctor, not an electrician). Scotty, after checking around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk will make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives, who are friendly, but seem to be hiding something. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirted security officers beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand again, Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must warp out of orbit. Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingons and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have just saved the natives from an awful fate and, as a reward, they have been given all the light bulbs they can carry. The new bulb is then joyfully inserted and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx,Seppaku, Amanemanga, Rethira, -Purple Smile-, Atra Luminarium, Ginger Guardian Angel, HorseLuvr14, Brandymydog, AquaFreez, Timekeeper Violeteyes, Shiningspirit, Aduial Rana, littledragoneyes, Pip the Dark Lord of All

From Lord of the Rings...Thranduil is not a tyrant, okay?! I refuse to read stories where he is portrayed as such. He was just being a good king. If you still don't believe me, read The Hobbit again. Tolkien writes that 'if the king had a weakness it was for treasure' not for beating up his subjects. In addition, he succours the Men of the Lake in their need, and Bilbo is willing to die for him. Moreover, do you really think Legolas would have been alright if he had been abused during his childhood? I rest my case! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile, add your name to the list and spread the word Elindë, Elven Warrior Princess, Gwedhiel0117, littledragoneyes, Elf from Downunder, Nimrodel626, Pip the Dark Lord of All

If you actually bothered to read my entire profile, post this on your page, and add your name to the list. Pip the Dark Lord of All