"Fanfiction never changes. But writers do, through the fics they write."

Chaotic Cynical. Shitposter. Off the deep end.

Hello, I'm AT Pyro, formerly The Pyro Jawsome. I steal your stories, change the characters, and slap my name on it. I used to at any rate, but am actually attempting to flex some creative muscle, somewhat. I need to rewrite this profile more often, and I apologize to any who actually read my ramblings on this page

I also have an AO3 account now, where I will also post my stuff, as a backup/second copy. Of course, I still have the master copies, but hey. I also can't link to it, but it's the same name with underscores instead of spaces (because they're picky.).

My current projects are United Nations Shipgirl Command, a crossover of Halo, Kantai Collection, and Azur Lane, and RE: Project RWBY, an original story beginning with events in RWBY's first three volumes, before splitting off into my own ideas. However, I have been working on the next parts of Fallout: New Vegas: Courier's Road, which will (possibly) resume updating sometime before the Rapture.

Stuff about me:

I've shot a missile made out of duct tape, PVC Pipe, and whatever else we could Macguyver into working. It was like seeing a masterpiece.

I've been to a weed shop. Not too exciting, really.

I'm somewhat insane. Shocker.

Third degree Black Belt in Taikwando. I would make a joke, but I'll settle with kicking ass.

I double space. I can't help it.

I can throw knives with reasonable accuracy. I can even do the twirly things from TF2 and CS:GO (Seriously, I can twirl a knife)

I will play anything that's good. Namely if it's made by some weirdos named Valve.

Hello, fire department. No, I did not blow up my grill on purpose.

I snark harder than an actual snark. I think that's a thing.

I take insomnia to an art form.

98% sidearm accuracy.

Things I like/things I like to do: Write(no shit), slack off, play video games, watch YouTube, read Tv Tropes, Read fanficiton, sleep

Things I loathe in fanfiction:

Author's Notes in the middle of a story. Save it for the beginning and end, dammit. Chances are, we the audience will either get it, or Google it.

Obvious self-insert/Mary-Sues (Unless it's a parody.) Don't.

Shipping against all logic (Slash, Crack, Crack!Slash). Speaks for itself.

Bad grammar (If it can be helped). I don't want to suffer, and neither do most people.

Bad Translation (Blind Idiot). Look, I understand (And approve) of some fanfic writers not being fluent in English. If you need a translator, contact someone fluent in the language. Also applies to the above if they don't edit.

Terrible, terrible character derailment. Stick to canon a little, even if it's an alternate universe, because a character with that character's name but an entirely different personality is just them in name only. And that's terrible.

Cut Lex Luthor A Check. Seriously, I get that they're evil. But, maybe sell something on the side? (He also stole forty cakes. That's four tens. And That's Terrible.)

Origins. Bad ones. Give characters origins that are in line with the universe, and can theoretically happen in/on the book/show/movie/whatever the hell.

Hodgesen's Law and Bellesario's Maxim are the guidelines to fanfiction, you want to escape, not burst a blood vessel over terrible writing.

Jawsome's Law: Opinions are like some object.

If you believe your opinion, fine. Just don't get up in arms if I prove it's utter bullshit and say I'm wrong or a demon or whatever the hell it it nowadays. Trans? Fuck it.

Oh yeah, and those people jumping at their keyboards to insult me, my baseball bat is right here.

Batter up.

If the answer to everything is 42, why isn't the question 6 times 7? Why should we care? - AT Pyro, 2016

No plot survives contact with the internet, or fanbase.- AT Pyro, 2017

When the chapter is uploaded, Mr. Review Box is not our friend- AT Pyro, 2017

"I hate offended people. They come in two flavors - huffy and whiny - and it's hard to know which is worst. The huffy ones are self-important, narcissistic authoritarians in love with the sound of their own booming disapproval, while the whiny, sparrowlike ones are so annoying and sickly and ill-equipped for life on Earth you just want to smack them round the head until they stop crying and grow up. Combined, they're the very worst people on the planet - 20 times worse than child molesters, and I say that not because it's true (it isn't), but because it'll upset them unnecessarily, and these readers deserve to be upset unnecessarily, morning, noon and night, every sodding day, for the rest of their wheedling lives." -Charlie Brooker

Can't offend someone who doesn't give a shit.- AT Pyro, 2018

God is dead, God remains dead, and we have killed Him.- Friedrich Nietzsche

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.- Douglas Adams

Night is just day with the brightness slider down all the way.- AT Pyro, 2019

CURRENT PROJECT(S): United Nations Shipgirl Command, Project ART: Part 1: Re: Project RWBY

On Hiatus: Let's Play Fallout New Vegas: Courier's Road

D-E-D ded:

Completed: