Both P&P stories published here are available on Amazon if you want to support the author. Also, there is a third book I've written Mr. Darcy's Vow, which can only be found at Amazon. It is in Kindle Unlimited (which is why it will be exclusive to Amazon for a while). I will probably start posting it here some where around the middle of 2017.

And now there is a fourth book that also is in KU until probably the middle of 2017: A Dishonorable Offer. Mr. Darcy wants to help the bright, yet impoverished Elizabeth, but she is penniless living with her horrid Uncle, Mr. Phillips, and her sister Lydia married a blacksmith. He can't marry her, and he is determined to never become insane over a woman. There is only one sort of offer he can make to help her.

Mr. Darcy swore to never be like his spendthrift father who left the estate deeply in debt. Will this prevent him from marrying the penniless daughter of Mr. Bingley's neighbor?

Also, since I very possibly will forget to update this, around the start of July 2016 my fourth book, A Dishonorable Offer, should also be published on Amazon.

Fitzwilliam Darcy was raised after his father killed himself following the death of his wife by his disreputable uncle. Will he try to make the pretty, but completely inappropriate and impoverished, Miss Elizabeth his wife or his mistress?

It would be helpful for readers new to a fandom if authors who regularly used fandom specific websites mentioned them in their profile.

For Pride and Prejudice fanfiction and A Happy Assembly are big (though Dwiggie is much less active today) AHA has adult stories, while Dwiggie does not.

Portkey is a big H/Hr site, and allows lemons, I'm not sure how active it currently is, but there is a large archive, and some stories are only there.

There is a large Doctor Who archive A Teaspoon and an Open Mind, not being a consistent Whovian I don't use it, but you should know about it.

I added this to my profile because I just discovered the existence of a Buffy crossover site, Twisting the Hellmouth.

I haven't read more than one story here yet, but the Anime Adventure has a lot of Ranma and Sailor Moon stories, including the quite entertaining (and long) Dungeon Keeper Ami.

Twilighted is the Twilight site I spent time reading when I read that fandom.

I've never looked at the site itself, but when people who write at Dark Lord Potter post on this site it usually is good.

There are a bunch of story threads in the spacebattles forums, though I've only looked up the Familiar of Zero stories

If anyone reading regularly reads a JAFF, Les Miserables, Naruto, H/Hr, Familiar of Zero, Skyrim, Buffy, Ranma, crossover collection (or really any categort that shows up in my favorites) site not listed here please tell me. If it looks like a cool site I'll add it to this list.

Pride and Prejudice fandom Pet Peeves (by reviewer request. Sadly, a rather short list, since I see less stupid than in HP or Naruto):

Miss Bingley doesn't actually need to be clinically insane. Right?

This is a tastes differ, but I cannot stand stories where the characters are kept apart forever due to something that a simple conversation would resolve.

Don't make Elizabeth literally perfect. Please. Sure make her a Mary Sue who is awesome, but limit it to, like, three languages and one genius level hobby, not ten.

I would be surprised if any couple ever was forced to marry because of inappropriate behavior if they had not been at least frenching. If someone tripped and accidentally groped a woman some mysterious social force would not demand they immediately marry. I like forced marriage fics more than the next person, but the way the idea of 'compromise' is used in fics is silly. Note: a couple getting caught actually doing something would have been a big issue.

Matchmaking Mamas. I used Google's word frequency tool, the term never showed up until a book somewhere in the early 20th century, then there was another book that used it in the forties, and it became more popular since 1980. Not authentic. But annoying, to me at least.

Update, I am now pretty sure that book in the forties was Georgette Heyer's The Corinthian. The random weird shit she has her characters say was generally drawn from some contemporary source, so it is possible instead of it being the term that popped into Heyer's mind when describing the situation of the poor rich, pursued and about to make a fortuitous decision while drunk that he never would have made sober hero, it was something someone, somewhere wrote in some letter or diary once. But it was not a common phrase.

Georgette Heyer is awesome, and you should read her books, but she was interested in hunting down terms that were used then, not terms that were used frequently.

Impropriety: Completely 'proper' behavior in the early nineteenth century was probably as weird as never jaywalking today. Almost nobody did it.

Harry Potter Pet Peeves:

"I swear on my magic that X is true" -- This is the biggest problem because it is usually bad story telling. It makes a better story when people come to trust each other by developing their relationships, not by using a light show. Further, if Harry can do this, so can the bad guys, Voldemort can, and would, demand people swear certain things on their magic.

As a result the books couldn't have happened: when the Marauders thought there was a traitor in their group they would have made everyone swear on their magic that they weren't traitors. Additionally, you can get around this and veritaserum with obliviation. Methods of Rationality explains what is wrong with the idea that you can give people veritaserum and trust what they say.

Time Travelers should not try to avoid changing the timeline; changes occur: deal with it. And if they trust the leader, they should tell him.

Don't write a sorting hat song. Just don't. I don't care if you've changed it, I still won't read it.

Time dilation fields allowing large amounts of subjective time to pass while the character ages normally would change everything about how everyone acts if they were commercially available.

Bully!Super!Harry is the bad guy when he terrifies an 11 year old Malfoy. When kids are assholes you ignore them. Even if they just insulted your girlfriend.

Goblins pretend to be impressed when Harry recognizes Griphook as the one true financial adviser so they can rip him off better. On a related note, invest in the stock market through Vanguard index funds. You'll be happy you did in a few decades. If you are working with a commission based financial adviser he is taking at least 10% of your money every decade. If you are trying to pick stocks yourself you will fail.

Pointless generosity: I'm an utilitarian, If you have money you should use it effectively. Giving Ginny 20 million pounds when Harry sells the basilisk because Riddle used her to open the Chamber is wasting 19 million pounds. Use the rest to help other poor students. Or much better give it to Doctors Without Borders to stop Ebola and give life saving drugs to kids with malaria and tuberculosis. Charity should start with the neediest, not the nearest. Save people's lives, then let them fulfill their dream of not going to bed hungry, and then help English school girls pay for tuition.

Rowling's prophecy is nonsense. "Neither can live while the other survives"-- that isn't fulfilled by the horcrux or Harry's sucky life, or anything, because it is a nonsense phrase, literally impossible. I hate epic!Rowling (as opposed to witty!Rowling, who I love). Maybe Dumbledore lying about the prophecy is canon.

You shouldn't put a disclaimers in Pride and Prejudice fan fiction. Jane Austen does not own Pride and Prejudice, humanity does. It is in the public domain. You actually can write a P&P fanfic and stick it on the amazon kindle store; its totally legal.

Hermione: "You're in all sorts of books!!!"

Harry: "Nobody knows what happened, so those books are totally inaccurate, you really shouldn't believe everything you read"

Sure, but does Harry have to be rude? Also meeting someone you've read about is just cool. It doesn't matter if the books are accurate. And it usually feels like Harry is rude in these scenes. Is it the best start to a H/Hr dynamic to have Harry shut Hermione's enthusiastic greeting down? Also, I think Hermione's opening lines are adorable.

This is completely new, but like for some other people, giving the hat names like "Alistair," and "Yardley," and "very British sounding name that was not in use when the Hogwarts was built," has finally gotten on my nerves. If you need to give the hat a name, call it something like "Donkey Kong" or "cthc'sas'dfc"

General Fan Fiction Comments:

Thoughts on Good Writing:

You probably shouldn't take creative writing textbooks too seriously. They teach how to produce a specific type of story-- which isn't the story you want to write. Look for books which did something you liked, and figure out how they did it.

Length and Pacing:

Long stories should be broken into subarcs. Each subarc should have its own climax and resolution. Ignoring structure and pacing is the biggest reason long fan fics drag. Sub sections should probably be between 75-150,000 words. War and Peace is around 500k words, and broken into 4 sub novels. Les Miserables is 500k words, and broken into five pieces. BTW Les Miserables' pacing is probably perfect. Harry Potter is 800-1000k words, and broken into 7 pieces. And it would be a better series if the later chunks were smaller.

Financial Service Professionals are Evil:

Making Goblins bankers because they aren't allowed to eat babies is more realistic than making goblins a proud warrior race that loves Harry. Harry is retarded if he instinctively trusts the goblins. In the real world trusting financial professionals will cost you around 10-20% of your money each decade. Not doing the work to make sure you aren't ripped off by financial advisors is a personal flaw. It is not cute, it is not good, it is bad when Harry doesn't care about his money.

Harry and Gringotts can have a close, mutually profitable relationship. Lots of reasons can be imagined for why the goblins would treat Harry very well, despite having the opportunity to take advantage of him. And a sophisticated Harry can manage his relationship with the goblins. However most people who don't know what they are doing will be taken advantage of by the Goblins. Real banks make money by ripping off customers.

It would be cool if "Lord Potter" stories which start with a visit to the goblins had the Potter family as traditional ally of the goblins (and probably other non-humans too). Helping the heir of a family they owe substantial favors to provides a better motivation for aiding Harry than a generalized interest in helping large account holders.

Last two books from a Hermione centric perspective:

Just pretend parts of HBP didn't happen. I don't mind Hermione chasing Ron; her reaction to the book isn't that OC. However, Hermione would help Harry figure out what Malfoy is up to, and help him get Slughorn's memory.

First, Malfoy is sixteen: old enough to kill; old enough to be inducted into adult concerns. Voldemort would bind the son of a chief lieutenant to him. And besides Snape, Malfoy is the obvious choice for a mission in Hogwarts, who else is Voldemort going to ask? Filch?

Second, Hermione, Ron, and several adults know everything Harry does about Malfoy. It doesn't make sense only Harry would make the obviously correct deduction. In the 'real' Potterverse everyone agrees Malfoy is up to something.

Third, Hermione in earlier books constantly helps Harry, and would drop everything if he needed her. Are we really supposed to believe she never once over several months tried to figure out a way to find out what Draco was up to?

Fourth, Hermione pushes Harry to worry about getting the memory from Slughorn instead of Draco, since Harry can't try to talk to a professor and try to figure out what a fellow student is up to in the same month. However when Harry tells her he is trying to corner Slughorn, but Slughorn is avoiding him, Hermione's response is "try harder to corner him-- ooooh Ron is tired of Lavender, but is too cowardly to break up with her!!! YESSSS!!! HERMIONE LOVES RON!!!

Book 1-5 Hermione would have helped with Malfoy and Slughorn. Being annoyed Harry outperformed her with the HBP's book is IC I think.

Book 7 is nicer to Hermione (though the book is unpleasant). She was packed at the wedding. She gets them out of fights, etc. On the other hand we are supposed to believe Harry and Hermione spend three months together never having a significant conversation. Please.

Ethics of Time Travel:

Destroying the future kills billions of people. The instant before billions of people are conscious. The next instant they don't exist anymore, even if the person they were fifteen years ago suddenly does. Anyone who time travels at any time can destroy everything up to the point they travel back to, our entire civilization could suddenly never have existed if they travel back 3000 years. Anything we fight and struggle for has the potential to suddenly stop existing. This is really, really bad; the year 3000 will probably never exist until someone kills enough people to prevent 'future' time travelers from existing.

So time travel stories should usually be premised on traveling to an alternate universe, where 'time branches' and the original universe still exists. The protagonist is abandoning his original reality, and not saving anybody in it, but it is better than killing six billion people so he can get his prepubescent dead girlfriend to fall in love with him again.

The exception is a story premised on 'fate' or 'the powers that be' sending the hero back. 'They' presumably know what they are doing, and arguing ethics with Fate is pointless.

Another exception is a stable time line, where the time traveler creates the future where the time traveler comes from-- but with occasional exceptions I personally don't like those stories.

Also read Orson Scott Card's "The Redemption of Christopher Columbus" it correctly deals with the ethics of overwriting the future (though it ignores how it will be rewritten again and again).

Hermione's Parents:

For me it feels natural to see Hermione's parents as distant and unconcerned. It fits with canon. Hermione consistently avoids them, they never matter, and she (happily?) erases their memory and sends them to Australia. Clearly the relationship is not very important to Hermione.

I do like stories where Mr. and Mrs. Granger are very nice people named Dan and Emma (though the convention became slightly disturbing when I found out it comes from the names of the actors who play Harry and Hermione) Just the stories I'm working on have Hermione's parents doing their dentist thing while Hermione happily lies to them. Also on the Grangers: People need to write more stories where they are Dawn and Xander from Buffy. I love those stories.

Harry/Ginny:

Just because Ginny is a fan girl with a crush in Chamber of Secrets does not mean she is incapable of seeing the real Harry in Half Blood Prince.

In canon Harry/ Ginny develops slowly and Ginny is not an important character. Ginny has a huge crush on Harry initially. By the start of her fourth year it is no longer there. She talks to Harry, and dates other people. She likes dating other people. However she has a soft spot for Harry, I still have something of a soft spot for old crushes, and I'd be surprised if most people don't. So when she realizes Harry has a crush on her in Half Blood Prince she is very willing to pursue it once her relationship with Dean falls apart. This is not a fan girl stalker thing, but a high school relationship with her brother's best friend. At least that is my interpretation.

Rowling could have developed the relationship better, but the Harry Potter is not a romance series. In case you missed it, Harry Potter is not a romance series. Rowling does not care who ships with who; the relationships exist because hormones are part of being a teenager. Rowling did not pair Hermione with Ron because she thinks they are a great romantic couple. Harry is not with Ginny because they make a great couple either. Ginny was not ignored in Deathly Hallows by accident.

Also remember time spent developing Ginny would make the novels longer, and distract their focus away from the Golden Trio. In my experience it is rare for a story to work well with more than three core characters.

Finding Horcruxes:

Voldemort should be defeated more often without destroying the horcruxes. Voldemort was insane and stupid. So he stuck the horcruxes in places they could be found. An intelligent dark lord would put his horcruxes in objects and locations with no significance.

It should not be possible to find the horcruxes by figuring out the clues. Either magic should find the horcruxes, or one of the many, many potential methods for semi permanently neutralizing the dark lord without killing him should be used.

Wizarding Demographics:

I'm not interested in stories where Hermione has been abused by Ron for years. Not if she has access to her wand. Or his.

Gender relations in the wizarding world have probably always been more equal than in our world. Historically there were good economic reasons for a gendered division of labor. Technology that allowed women and men to do equally well at most jobs, and substantially reduced the amount of domestic labor required was invented at the same time as modern feminism. This probably isn't a coincidence.

Wizarding families have probably always been small also, because dynamics of high child death rates, and uneducated women in domestic roles drove historical birth rates.

The wizarding population in America would probably be smaller relative to the muggle population than in Europe. America (and Australia) were populated by immigrants who had large families. The immigrants came for economic opportunities caused by unsettled land. It seems unlikely wizards had more opportunities in America than Europe, the opposite is likely. Hence no massive inflow of immigrants. The population grew quickly in colonial America because excess land let people eat better than in Europe. A larger fraction of children survived and the population exploded. Eventually education, technology, and feminism meant most children survived everywhere, at which point birth rates collapsed to slightly below replacement levels. Most wizarding children have probably always survived, so wizarding birth rates have probably been close to modern birth rates for a very long time. Also wizarding families in America wouldn't be much larger than in Europe.

This model of wizard demographics might explain why blood wars are occurring. The wizarding population has shrunk relative to the muggle population. So the fraction of wizards who are muggleborn has risen. And the higher muggle standard of living causes muggleborn wizards to be less accepting of wizarding traditions (a sick half starved illiterate medieval peasant is far less likely to argue about how you should treat house elves than Hermione). These factors drive increasing tension. Wars happen when old balances of power get upset.

This also justifies the trope where Wizarding America is more progressive than Wizarding Britain. If most American wizards have recent muggle ancestors they would be more attached to their roots, and more open to muggle ideas.

R/Hr:

H/Hr shippers are Hermione centric so we focus on why Ron sucks. However take the other perspective. An unambitious man, with an inferiority complex, is paired with a far smarter driven woman. Ron is going to spend his life being nagged about not working harder, being told he is an idiot, and feeling like half a person because his wife has a far more impressive career than him. I see Hermione ignoring her husband, and finding fulfillment in her job. Which isn't either sad or happy.

Harmony stories where Harry pines after Hermione who is engaged/ married to Ron don't interest me. Half the point of H/Hr is Hermione wouldn't marry Ron. The key moment in my version of a R/Hr relationship is when Ron asks Hermione to marry him, and she thinks about whether she wants to. And she decides, despite being currently in love with him, not to spend the rest of her life with him. Hermione would think about it. And she think of all the objections we have to the ship. Because she is Hermione. And she would research what sorts of relationships work well, and what things it is important to agree on before marriage. And if your Hermione still thinks after all that she wants to marry your version of Ron, maybe you should write an R/Hr story.

Canon!Hermione is not desperate. She is not convinced she is the least attractive girl in the room. She is not going to marry Ron because she can't afford to be picky. She has options, and she knows it. Victor Krum. Cormac McLaggen. Ron Weasley. She has a substantial number of admirers, several of whom are high quality. In HBP she pursues Ron because she wants him, not because she decided to settle at 17.

Hermione in the Trio:

My interpretation of canon is Hermione felt like both Harry and Ron were her boys, and hence was mildly jealous when Harry interacted with Cho. Also Cho would pull Harry away from his focus on the trio, and Hermione didn't want that. I suspect she semi intentionally sabotaged their date in OotP. She wasn't interested in Ron in OotP, but didn't have a full blown crush on Harry. Though, if Harry had been showing subtle hints of interest in OotP, the way Ron was, Hermione probably would have encouraged him. Hermione in HBP only pursues Ron when he flirts with an interested Lavender. Under this reading Hermione is okay with Harry being with Ginny, because it ties the trio closer together. The Big Happy Weasely Family is Hermione's construction because it lets her permanently protect her school relationships. Which suggests stories where they never talk despite being in-laws are missing something important.

Minister Fudge:

The popular myth about Neville Chamberlein, the Munich Agreement, and appeasement claims Hitler was obviously dangerous, but the cowardly Chamberlein ignored this threat and signed a peace agreement he stupidly thought would hold up. In reality Chamberlein knew Hitler was dangerous, and signed the Munich Agreement because he thought it was in Britain's best interest to delay a conflict as long as possible while rearming, and he hoped Hitler's domestic enemies might prevent him from starting a war. Also though Chamberlein didn't expect it, but there was a chance Hitler would stop pushing after Munich.

Rowling based Fudge on the mythic Chamberlein. As a result Fudge's behavior doesn't make sense. Rowling thinks Fudge ignoring Voldemort's return is realistic, because a historic politician did so in a similar circumstance. However the real politician did nothing of the sort. Fiction is stranger than truth (though physics is weirder than magic).

Rereading the scene with Fudge, Dumbledore and Harry at the end of GoF, a better interpretation comes to mind: Fudge acts like he works for Voldemort because he does. Malfoy bribed a blood supremicist minister to betray the ministry. Fudge expects to retire when it becomes clear Voldemort returned. Or he thinks it will never become clear. And his plan probably worked, I think Fudge survived the war and lived happily on Malfoy's money, which he left in large quantities to his grandchildren when he died at an extreme old age.

When analyzing characters, ignore what they say: What does their behavior do? Fudge's helps Voldemort. Therefore assume that is his intention.

The Camping Trip:

For several months Harry and Hermione are completely alone. And their relationship doesn't substantially change? I don't care how close you are. If two people spend three months alone their interactions will change. Any realistic portrayal of the camping trip after Ron left would have strong Harmony and anti R/Hr tendencies.

Interpreting Dumbledore:

What Dumbledore does to Harry is very wrong. It's also stupid. Nominally good Dumbledore stories have Dumbledore purely as an obstacle. An alternative approach would be to make Dumbledore's treatment of Harry actually the best way to defeat Voldemort. Then we have a tension between means and ends. Of course that is intrinsically dark, and fan fiction is about the happies.

A morality which views you as less culpable for deaths caused by inaction than deaths caused by action disgusts me.

Rowling is a Christian who presumably 'believes in' an afterlife. Further she probably has a model which reconciles evil and a benevolent God. Thus she doesn't see minimizing human suffering and your own casualties as important. If what matters is the soul, and this life is preparation for the next, Dumbledore's behavior is almost permissible. Right behavior depends on the nature of reality. If death is not permanent, but damnation is, your enemy's redemption matters more than your survival. Letting Voldemort kill muggles and muggleborns could be right if just one death eater is saved from damnation.

Canon!Dumbledore is a plot device. He leaves Harry on a doorstep with a note as his very first action-- any reasonable person would at least talk with the Dursleys. His final actions in his will forced Harry wander around cluelessly. Every major action is to set up a story, and non-functional.

Plot devices cannot be consistent characters. But in fan fiction we want Dumbledore to be a character. So we try to make sense of his nonsensical behavior.

How I think magic should work:

First, I like PerfectLionheart's idea that everything should have a loophole. In his story Horcruxes age, so Voldemort uses a ritual that sterilizes him in exchange for not aging. Of course that ritual doesn't protect him from someone killing him, like the horcrux does. Binding magical contracts have outs, so you construct layers of protections. And there is still an out if you are willing to pay the price.

Harry in canon:

Harry did not defeat Voldemort in canon. Harry's only skill based victories are the fight in the ministry, and the patronum in book 3. Book 1: he survives because he is toxic to Voldemort. Book 2: he survives because he gets lucky in a fight with a basilisk. And Fawkes. Book 4: he needs to be told how to beat the first task, for the second task Dobby gives him the gillyweed, and Moaning Myrtle tells him which direction the village is in. He survives Voldemort because 1) Voldie is one of the stupidest villains in literature and 2) the priori incantatum effect. Book 5, maybe it was mad skillz that let him survive the ministry fight, or maybe dumb luck. In book 6 he doesn't even do anything, he gets to watch while Dumbledore kills himself. Oh, and despite trying hard he fails to figure out what Malfoy is up to, and only gets Slughorn's memory with the help of a luck potion. Book 7, I've reread Dumbledore's explanation at King's Cross several times, and I still think it is incoherent. Rowling came up with four possible mechanisms for why Harry would survive, and then refused to choose, saying "this is really deep magic, nobody understands". Which frankly, sounds like Rowling decided to flip off the part of her audience that cares about how things work. Obviously Harry getting the Elder Wand from Draco was not part of Dumbledore's plan. In other words Dumbledore didn't have a plan to defeat Voldemort.

Have I mentioned I hate Dumbledore?

Harry didn't have the ability to defeat Voldemort. His victory is due to pure luck and deus ex machinas.

Fan fiction wants a Harry who can defeat Voldemort. So you need to give Harry a huge power up relative to canon. Power porn is still juvenile (though occasionally fun), but there needs to be some boost.

I read a story on Portkey which posits Harry is a really powerful wizard whose accidental magic is expresses itself by making Harry ridiculously lucky, as though he is always high on felix felicis when he needs to be. I doubt this fits with canon, but it is a causally coherent explanation for Harry's apparently implausible ability to survive situations he should die in.

Also read Larry Niven's Ringworld. One of my favorite books ever; it includes an alien species who got humanity to set up a lottery system to determine who could have children for the purpose of breeding luck. And it worked. Which is physically impossible, as all of the characters are constantly pointing out. Hence funny. It also includes adventures on a world with 3 million times the surface area of earth.

Power Porn:

This is my term for stories where with no causal explanation Harry is more powerful than half of wizarding Britain.

Note: the problem is not that Harry is 4 times as powerful as Merlin, the issue is the inexplicability of his power. Explain the power, and it isn't a problem. For example, in Hidden Hero Harry spends a large amount of time using his connection to be inside of Voldemort's head, and teaches himself essentially everything Voldemort knows; this combined with the advantage of surprise allows him to easily defeat Voldemort. The source of Harry's power wasn't arbitrary in the slightest.

Darth Marrs' Defense for Two has the premise that Harry, Dumbledore and Voldemort all being 'sports': wizards who are vastly more powerful than anyone else. The entire DoM policy is built around managing Harry as a sport, and shows how a rational world in which some wizards randomly were more powerful than everyone else might operate.

In the real world height, or speed, or intelligence are all normally distributed-- which means nobody is as smart as twenty regular people-- while wealth is exponentially distrubuted-- which means the richest person is a lot richer than most people. Power in stories is distributed like wealth, despite it being intrinsic to the person the way height is.

Story Ideas I want to play with:

Darkish time traveling Harry forces a soul bond on Voldemort as part of a resurrection ritual so he can control Voldemort as part of his fight against the pureblood establishment (Possibly Harry murders wormtail to make a horcrux of Voldemort).

Hermione/ Neville story: I just find something appealing about the idea of the brilliant girl, and a potential badass with a learning disability. I'd write Neville as having a disability which if properly dealt with wouldn't harm his potential, but of course the wizarding world doesn't keep up with advances in psychiatry.

Despite the implicit awfulness, a H/Hr next gen version of Hamlet. Hermione discovers Ginny has dosed Harry with love potions for decades. As a result Hermione kills Ginny, and shortly after marries Harry ('the funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables')-- I haven't specified yet precisely how it happens, and it matters. For example maybe Hermione kills Ginny because there are no wizard divorces, and she refuses to let Harry be trapped with someone who used love potions on him. Or Ginny tries to kill Hermione to prevent her from telling Harry, and Hermione wins the fight (so it is self defense). Or maybe something else.

Ginny's ghost will approach her and Harry's daughter Lily (I'm specifically inverting the genders in the play), and beg her to get revenge against Hermione.

The story will end tragically when Lily successfully kills Hermione, accidentally kills her father, and as a result of the magic she used dies herself.

Optional is having the Laertes/Ophelia subplot. Luna's son was in love with Lily, Lily accidentally kills Luna, after which Luna's son commits suicide, and Luna's daughter swears vengeance against Lily. Luna's daughter dies in the end scene along with Lily, Harry and Hermione.

Lines from Shakespeare that just beg to be used in a story:

But break my heart, for I must hold my tongue.

I think the line can inspire the emotion is say one of the Harry is in love with Hermione, but she is dating Ron, and he wishes he could tell her how he feels "But break my heart, for I must hold my tongue".

Nature tis fine in love and where tis fine
it sends some precious instance of itself
After the thing it loves

I read this and think of soul bonds. "Nature tis fine in love And where tis fine/ It sends some precious instance of itself/ After the thing it loves". It just hits me in the gut, is beautiful, and reminds me of why we love stories about love.

Ah keeper, keeper, I have done these things
(That now give evidence against my soul)
For Edward's Sake

This line inspired the story it gave the title to. I was watching the John Gielgud say these lines in Olivier's version of Richard III, where he projects this feeling of regret about what he has done for his brother's sake, and it just made me think. H/Hr stories are all about friendship-- characters being extremely close, who are willing to do anything for each other. Yet in the stories they almost never do anything regrettable for each other. Their devotion is shown by being willing to die for each other, or by being willing to kill someone who deserves it, but would they kill someone who doesn't deserve it?

Remove the middle line and it becomes a beautiful expression of a more general, potentially happier, devotion "Ah keeper, keeper, I have done these things/ For Edward's sake". You could see a character like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables saying that after the end of the novel, or a Harry whose real reason for fighting Voldemort is Hermione. It captures Harry's attitude, when he walks into the forest in Deathly Hallows. Much as I hate the book as a whole-- the scene where Harry willingly walks to his death is deeply touching.

Miscellaneous:

I just recalled a tragic H/Hr one shot where Harry discovers the Weasley's had been love potioning him and Hermione, but because the affect of taking the potions over a long time were irreversible they committed suicide after killing the people they still loved. If they have love potions they have to have indifference potions. Falling in love is reversible. Its a switch in the brain that is fairly easy to throw in either direction.

Fanon!Alastor Moody is waaaaaay more badass than canon!Moody. I mean canon!Moody, both the polyjuiced one, and the real one, talk awesome, but-- fanon!Moody would never have let Barty Crouch Junior get the drop on him. Ever. I suppose canon!Moody was intended to show how even if you are very serious about paranoia, you still can make a mistake and lose. Fanon!Moody is essence of retired badass.

Alternative interpretation of the canon pairings: Harry was love potioned by Ginny-- and never finds out. Used occasionally for post epilogue H/Hr, chilling if you think of it as actual canon.

Great Quotes from Fan Fiction:

Angel's voice came over the line less than thirty seconds later.

"Dawn? What's wrong? Is Buffy-"

"She's falling in love!" Dawn exclaimed throwing her free hand in the air, still disgusted with that fact.

"Love?" Angel repeated tightly, then sighed and continued on trying to sound uncaring and failing miserably. "Dawn, isn't that a good thing? Why are you calling me about it?"

"You need to get your butt down here! Seeing your face will hopefully remind her what a disaster being in love is."

"Thanks, Dawn…" Living Conditions by sweetchi

""Why does everyone compare everything to defeating Voldemort?" asked Harry, pulling at his black hair. " Does that become the new bar for whatever I do? Surely if I defeated Lord Voldemort I can do such-and-such? I defeated Voldemort so surely I can give an interview for the Daily Prophet? I defeated the Dark Lord so surely I can handle this raid on those Death Eaters in Canada. I defeated You-Know-Who so surely I can learn to ski. I defeated Voldemort so I can—," Harry started counting on his fingers at this point, "—raise the dead, save cats from getting caught in trees, pay for a round of drinks, learn Chinese, and face the wrath of one Molly Weasley." Ron smirked at the last one." Magic and Misperceptions by addisonj

"As they waited they allowed Ginny to continue to rant and rave about how she was going to have pretty clothes and fancy robes, and how she didn't care if she had to 'dose' Harry to do so. She even said "Daddy's been being dosed for years, it hasn't hurt him."

All four brothers looked at each other. They all shared one thought. Did she just say what I thought she said?" Death's Design, Fate's Plan

"Harry, if muggles knew about us, they would come to us for magical solutions for everything, from love potions to cures for diseases."

"If they want a cure for diseases, then you should give it to them, sir." Harry said, unmoved by the argument. "Having a cure, but withholding it, is murder by complacency." Draconus Book One: The Sorceror's Stone, by fullsailnate

" Even if Gilderoy hadn't been planning on shamelessly taking advantage of Harry's fame, if he had found out about Dumbledore's plans for the boy he would have had to have rescued him out of sheer altruism." When in Doubt, Obliviate by Sarah1281

Thoughts on Naruto fan fiction:

I started to read Naruto fics because top HP writers, notably PerfectLionheart (of Partially Kissed Hero) and the writer of Nightmares of Futures Past had written two of the high review Naruto stories. I don't think the viciousness of HP character bashing translates well to Naruto-- I've never found a reason to question the distaste for Dumbledore and Ron I got from fan fic. Chuunin Exam Day, many of the other NaruHina stories I read early on strongly bashed Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke.

In reality they are awesome characters. And 12 year old Sakura is a shallow because she is twelve. Get over it. The experience of realizing characters I disliked were awesome was cool though.

Sasuke's 'betrayal' of Konoha was in a real sense the right thing for him to do. His primary personal goal was revenge against Itachi. Not loyalty to the location he happened to be born in. He sacrificed a secondary goal for a primary goal. Of course trusting Orochimaru is retarded, but that's a different issue.

Itachi and Danzo: I've not read the actual manga, or seen the shippuden episodes relevant to this, but it seems likely Itachi was partially programmed by Danzo and Root, and that is where the complete focus on protecting Konoha comes from.

Sarutobi: He isn't treated like Dumbledore, but it is more his fault that Naruto's childhood sucked than it is Dumbledore's. Also, it makes a lot of sense that Naruto was raised to be fanatically loyal to the Sandaime and his faction in village politics. Of course probably the reason we like Sarutobi more than Dumbledore is that Sarutobi was a reasonably successful leader; Dumbledore, of course, is a horrible failure.

Evil is easier to forgive than incompetence.

Inuyasha fan fiction:

First, the show is waaaaay better than the fan fic. It is really, really good.

Most of the stories I read are Sesshoumaru/Kagome; I get why the pairing is popular. Sesshoumaru is the coolest character in the setting, and he has all of those becoming more compassionate things going on. However, there is something wrong when in half of the stories the author feels a need for Kagome to comment on how OOC Sesshoumaru is acting.

Also Sess/Kag is an example of a pairing which works well in fan fiction (we like Kagome, we like Sesshoumaru, wouldn't it be awesome to stick them together?) but would be retarded in canon. The romance sub plot in the show is built around the defects in Inuyasha and Kagome interacting in a cute way.

This is part of a subgenre of human/powerful nonhuman stories. They are popular, and have been since storytellers started telling stories. However, the story needs a cheat to it to avoid being intrinsically tragic. You cannot have a fluffy story which involves A) the human and the immortal falling in love, knowing the human will die long before the immortal does, or B) the immortal taking on a human lifespan to age with the human.

The way to make these stories happy is to allow the human to become immortal. Which is cheap. Which is why Tolkein didn't do it.

Thoughts on Twilight Fan Fiction:

Positive things: Manic-depressive stalker who hates himself or not, Edward is a distinct character. There is an Edward thing to say or do. This alone makes Twilight better than most fan fiction. In Harry Potter fan fiction for example, Hermione rarely does Hermione-ish things, though she does act out the behavioral tags fandom has attached to her. In canon she has behavioral patterns that simply don't occur in fanfiction. For example, the way Hermione tries to find out what object Malfoy was looking at in Borgin and Burkes. Her plan was retarded, but also adorably Hermione-ish. It was the same behavioral pattern which she used when tortured by Bellatrix and when she stopped Umbridge from torturing Harry. Talk fast, and make it up as you go. Fan fiction characterization normally is a undifferentiated goo level where people are tagged as having particular traits, but don't express them otherwise.

Meyer has her characters always stay at the infatuation stage of love because that is how vampire physiology works. She was smart enough to know this concept couldn't work with physiologically normal humans. In playing around with ideas relating to H/Hr the idea of claiming magic changes how love works has a strong appeal to me.

Why I don't like Volturi stories:

A) They can be part of a good story, and if they are what you are looking for, have fun.

B) Bella is not Peter Petrelli. And Peter Petrelli's power was the worst part of Heroes. This also goes more generally for giving Bella a power which allows her to, alone, destroy or intimidate all of the Volturi.

C) I generally don't like stories where they become the deus ex machina which, after chapters of 'I don't want to change her' Edward angst, creates the situation where Bella is changed. More generally I don't like it when Bella is changed after Edward angst because Jacob nearly kills her, or because she was horribly injured otherwise. If Edward refusing to change her is a significant part of the story, then you should make the relationship dynamic such that Edward comes to terms with her being changed before it happens.

D) Changing someone into a creature which can rip a sky scraper down with his bare hands because you are worried about this person revealing to the world there are creatures which can tear sky scrapers down is really stupid. *Really* stupid. More generally a rational Volturi will treat telling humans the same way it treats creating newborns. They are your responsibility. Seriously, the Volturi should be more worried about pictures taken of the Cullens than about the Cullens telling Bella. The pictures, will eventually become hard evidence something weird is going on. Bella is just a crazy person.

Why the treaty with the werewolves is not significant:

Wars are never about treaties being made or broken. They are always about the balance of power, and underlying interests. To the extent that the author actually thinks through the logic of decision making this is as true in a fictional world as in the real world.

Very simply put the relationship between the pack and the Cullens was never about the formal treaty. Even Meyer, partially realized this. For example in Breaking Dawn Sam decided not to attack when he believed Bella had been turned, which violated the treaty, while he decided to attack when he discovered Bella was pregnant, which did not violate the treaty. In the Midnight Sun draft when Bella tells Edward how she discovered he was a vampire he muses that he now had a right to slaughter the defenseless inhabitants of the reservation. The point being that it was not a serious intention despite the treaty being broken.

In the 1930s A) the Cullens were considerably more powerful than the pack, B) the Cullens had no desire to kill the werewolves, and C) the Cullens were not hunting members either of the Quileute tribe, or the surrounding population. A) means the wolves did not want to fight because they would probably lose and be unable to defend the tribe, not to mention the whole dying thing, C) means that they did not need to fight the Cullens to protect the tribe. Hence no fight. The treaty simply formalized the reality of A,B, and C.

Carlisle agreed in the treaty that they were not to bite anyone, but when he made that agreement he was not thinking of it as a binding constraint on his behavior. I think after Rosalie and Emmett he now had no intention of changing more people, and anyways if there was a reason to would do what actually ended up happening, and view the opinion of the werewolves as irrelevant. The treaty was about establishing a modus vivendi in the Forks area, about staying out of La Push, and telling the werewolves, "we are going to do what we were going to do anyways- not kill people- so don't worry".

By the end of Eclipse the relationship is different, primarily because the power imbalance is much smaller. The Cullens are still considerably more powerful and would probably win a fight, at least if they were prepared, but the wolves now have a reasonable chance. However werewolves are much easier to permanently kill than vampires. To kill a vampire permanently you need to control the corpse for a period of time, to kill a werewolf you just need the corpse. Hence even if the werewolves won a fight with the Cullens they would lose people. And they still probably wouldn't win.

So look at the situation after Bella has been bitten and changed. The Cullens have violated the treaty, the specific terms of the treaty after all are "you will not bite anyone". So the wolves have a causus belli. And of course this is a point where they have a decision to make. "Are we, because Bella desperately wanted to become a vampire so she could permanently be with Edward, and finally, after quite a bit of effort, talked him into it, going to try to kill Bella? And of course the rest of the Cullens. And also in the process of trying to kill Bella for this choice create a situation where probably all of us will die, hence leaving the tribe defenseless if the Cullens decide to get revenge (which they won't of course because they aren't like that) or if another group of vampires come through the area (and another group might), and even if we don't all die, some of us will. Or are we going to just let it go, and repeatedly tell them we are very unhappy with them?"

The point of the pack after all is to protect humans, they will only risk fighting the Cullens if the Cullens are a threat to humans, and clearly Bella being changed doesn't make them a bigger threat to people.

There was a line in Breaking Dawn which expressed the idea that what made the difference about whether it would mean war when Bella was changed was the cooperation during Eclipse. That is not the case, the pack never would have started a war over this, because Sam is too smart and too responsible to do that.

I'm right now looking through my favorite stories links, and basically all of you should read a few of NoMoreThanUsual 's stories. They are all short humorous and sweet one shots or multishots. They won't take up much of your time, but they are really good. First Impressions is probably my favorite though.

This is a story which so far is looking very good, and only has a few chapters up so far. Anyways read it, and if you like leave a review. A Perpetual State of Misfortune