"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you."

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own damn lemonade!

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

When in doubt, make up words!

Don’t mess with me- I’ve got a stick and I’m not afraid to hit you with it.

If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip ‘n slide.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

I don’t suffer from insanity- I enjoy every minute of it.

"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning."
Colonel David M. Shoup - (Tarawa) - 21st November 1943

"With God and black magic on my side, I can't lose!" - ...I forgot

"It was about as unbelievable as if you had fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you," Rutherford, a scientist in the 1900's, of his gold foil experiment.

"It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." Winston Churchill

"Fantasy lies beyond the reach of time."-Anonymous

"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."-Anonymous

"The greatest feats are accomplished by people who are too stupid to know that they're impossible."-Anonymous

"I didn't fail, I found two thousand ways how not to make a lightbulb."- Thomas Edison

"Master Obi-Wan seems to have lost a planet. How embarassing." Yoda

Han Solo: Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.
Voice: What happened?
Han Solo: Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
Voice: We're sending a squad up.
Han Solo: Uh, uh, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a minute to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.
Voice: Who is this? What's your operating number?
Han Solo: Uh...
shoots comm
Han Solo: Boring conversation anyway.

Things are getting worse. Please send chocolate. - Unknown

Doctor Who Quotes:

First Doctor Era:

She lets her knowledge out a bit at a time, so as not to embarrass me.
Ian, talking about Susan, in "An Unearthly Child"

Don't you think you're being rather high-handed, young man? You thought you saw a young girl enter the yard, you imagine you heard her voice, you believe she might be in there. Not very substantial, is it?
The Doctor, to Ian, in "An Unearthly Child"

I tolerate this century but I don't enjoy it.
The Doctor, in "An Unearthly Child"

"Frankly Doctor, I find it hard to keep pace with you."
"You mean 'to keep one jump ahead'; that you will never be!"
Ian and the Doctor, in "The Edge of Destruction"

"What's that awful noise?"
"I beg your pardon... 'Awful noise'? A good way to talk about my singing!"
"No, Doctor, not that awful noise -- the other one!"
Barbara and the Doctor, in "The Chase"

"Where's your spirit of adventure, hm?"
"It died a slow and painful death when those bats came out of the rafters."
Ian and the Doctor, in "The Chase"

"You see, I'm treated with more respect by the enemy than I am by my own family."
"They don't know you as well as we do."
Paris and Cassandra, in "The Myth Makers"

"What do you think of that, now, eh? A Viking helmet."
"Maybe."
"What do you mean, 'maybe'? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?"
The Doctor and Steven, in "The Time Meddler"

That is the dematerializing control. And that, over yonder, is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy. Now please stop bothering me.
The Doctor, in "The Time Meddler"

During all the years I've been taking care of you, you in return have been taking care of me. You are still my grandchild and always will be. But now, you're a woman too. I want you to belong somewhere, to have roots of your own. With David you will be able to find those roots and live normally like any woman should do. Believe me my dear, your future lies with David and not with a silly old buffer like me. One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye Susan. Goodbye my dear.
The Doctor, in "The Dalek Invasion of Earth"

"My writing gets worse and worse. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear."
The Doctor, in "The Rescue"

I made some cocoa and got engaged.
The Doctor, in "The Aztecs"

We're always in trouble! Isn't this extraordinary - it follows us everywhere!
The Doctor, in "Marco Polo"

These creatures, these Earth-people, are loud and ugly! Why could we not have left them in the desert or in the mountains?
The Second Elder, in "The Sensorites"

Barbara and Susan have just been led to the Dalek resistance group
Professor Dortmun: Two more pairs of hands! Good.
David Campbell: [Pointing to Barbara.] She says she can cook!
Professor Dortmun: Can you?
Barbara nods.
David Campbell: [Addressing Susan] And what do YOU do?
Susan: I eat
Professor Dortum, David Campbell, Barbara, and Susan, in "The Dalek Invasion of Earth"

Doctor, you're a genius!
Yes, there are very few of us left. Now let's get out of here, and be crafty!
The Doctor and Ian, in "The Dalek Invasion of Earth"

Why have I got to keep pretending I'm a boy? Why can't I be a girl again?
Vicki, in "The Crusade"

Sara, where have you been?
I don't know. But a strange man kept telling me to take my clothes off.
Now, come along. We must go back to the TARDIS. This is a madhouse. It's all full of Arabs. Come along.
Sara, Steven, and the Doctor, in "The Daleks' Master Plan"

How dare you follow me into the TARDIS! The distractions... I really thought I was going to be alone again.
The Doctor to Ben and Polly, in "The Smugglers"

So you're my replacements — a dandy and a clown!
The Doctor to the third and second Doctor, in "The Three Doctors"

You did quite well. Quite well. Hm. It's reassuring to know that my future is in safe hands.
The Doctor to the Fifth Doctor, in "The Five Doctors"