Author's Note: If you follow the LJ, you know I've had the idea for this story for a while now. And, while I know SBS isn't quite finished, I can't help but want to introduce this story while 4.11 still feels relevant. So, in what feels slightly like a death wish, I'll be working on both of these at the same time.

That said, here's the first installment of "Dignity." Consider this a prologue. ;-)

Suggested listening: "Eventually" by Seth Horan

EVENTUALLY

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Meredith Grey glanced from the chart to her watch and back again before making another notation. She was just about to reach for the tiny blood pressure cuff when the quiet, but stern voice of her mentor rang out over the mechanical cacophony.

"Go home, Grey."

Meredith glanced up and blinked in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me," Dr. Bailey murmured pointedly. "Go home."

"But…but you need a doctor present. Someone needs to be monitoring Tuck's vitals. He's just had major surgery, and he needs a post-op, and…"

"I'm a doctor," Bailey snapped. "Chief resident, in fact. I know how to take someone's blood pressure."

Meredith inhaled sharply and bit her lip. "Dr. Bailey…"

"Dr. Grey…"

They stared in silence for a moment before Dr. Bailey's expression softened. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do. It might've even been necessary, which is why I didn't kick you out to begin with, but you've been here all night. And I appreciate that you've been here all night, but it's almost four thirty in the morning, and your next shift starts at noon. Go home."

Meredith's teeth gripped her lower lip as her apprehensive gaze wavered from Bailey's exhausted countenance to Tuck's tiny form.

When Dr. Bailey spoke again, her voice was noticeably rough around the edges. "I'm serious, Grey. Go home."

Meredith inhaled shakily. "But…"

Dr. Bailey's round face immediately softened. "Relax, Meredith. I'm fine."

The left corner of Meredith's mouth curled ever so slightly. "That's my word."

Dr. Bailey heaved a sigh and mustered a small smile of concession. "So it is." There was a pregnant pause as she returned her gaze to her unconscious child. She stroked Tuck's arm gently for a moment before narrowing her eyes in Meredith's direction.

"Okay, so maybe I'm not fine," she admitted grudgingly, "but I am still Dr. Bailey, and I am not going to break today."

Meredith dropped her gaze to the floor and bit the inside of her cheek to hide her smile. "I didn't think you would," she countered quickly. "I just thought…well…"

Five stubby fingers thumped impatiently against the bedrail. "Spit it out, Grey."

Meredith glanced up and nervously pressed her lips together. "Sometimes," she began haltingly. "Sometimes, it's better to not be alone."

"True." Bailey's eyebrows rose appreciatively as she studied the bedspread. "Days like today make you want to be with the people you love." The words were hard and bitter, filled with the kind of awful resignation with which Meredith was all too familiar. "I'm surprised Shepherd hasn't dragged you off yet."

Meredith jolted uncomfortably at the mention of Derek. "What?"

"Shepherd," Bailey repeated tersely. "You know. Tall. Handsome. Likes to lean on things. Chases you around like a lovesick puppy…"

Meredith snorted.

"What?" Bailey arched an expectant eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?"

"There is no paradise," Meredith retorted. The words echoed ominously along the wall, and she cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I mean, we…well, Derek and I…we're not together."

"Oh, you're not," Bailey muttered doubtfully. "So that couple doing nasty things in my supply closet last week…that wasn't you?" Meredith's cheeks burned crimson, and Bailey pursed her lips knowingly. "Thought so," she grumbled.

"We were together," Meredith amended. "Kind of. But there were…complications."

"Like what?"

Meredith's eyes strayed to Tuck's tiny, unconscious form. "It's not important," she murmured softly. "We're just…not together."

"You will be." Meredith glanced up in protest, and Dr. Bailey rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't give me that look. You know you will be. Shepherd may be an idiot sometimes, but it's obvious that the man's in love with you."

Meredith let loose with a grim, hollow chuckle. "No," she argued curtly. "He's not. He's in love with the idea of me, maybe, but…he's not in love with me."

Dr. Bailey chortled into the bedspread as her husband's words rang painfully in her ears. "I understand," she muttered bitterly.

Meredith swallowed uncomfortably as silence descended. When the lack of noise grew suffocating, she inhaled shakily and reached again for the tiny blood pressure cuff.

"Grey," Dr. Bailey barked, "if you take my son's blood pressure one more time…"

Meredith leaned ever so slightly forward.

"Dr. Grey! Go home!"

Meredith exhaled and returned the cuff to its position on the bedside table. "Going," she murmured guiltily. She grabbed her lab coat and shuffled slowly to the door, grabbing the knob gently before turning back for one more glimpse of Tuck. The boy's chest was still rising and falling in a slow, even rhythm.

Meredith exhaled in relief as her gaze drifted from son to mother.

"Dr Bailey?" she murmured hesitantly.

Bailey inhaled sharply, but her eyes never strayed from her son. "Yes, Dr. Grey."

"I'm sorry about your husband."

The door closed softly behind her, and Dr. Bailey heaved a sigh that held the weight of the world.

"Yeah," she murmured to her son's sleeping form. "Me too."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm thinking ice cream," Izzie mused. "Ice cream and…cake, maybe. Chocolate cake."

"Cake and ice cream?" Cristina repeated with obvious disdain. "It's not her birthday."

Izzie shot Cristina a contemptuous glare before disappearing behind her locker door. "Well, I don't hear you making any suggestions," she snapped bitterly.

"Tequila," Cristina retorted. "That's my suggestion. Get her good and drunk. Then she won't even recognize the bastard."

Izzie wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Okay, drunk Meredith is NOT the answer…"

"Why not?" Alex challenged, tossing his lab coat into his cubby. "Drunk Meredith leads to drunken sex, right?" His lips curled in a smirk. "Sex is always the answer."

Izzie rolled her eyes. "You're a pig."

"You know," Alex retorted, "I would call you a prude, but…you slept with O'Malley."

"And now I'm ignoring you." Izzie rolled her eyes again and returned her attention to Cristina. "Maybe we could give her a really cool surgery."

Cristina's features contorted in shock. "Okay, seriously? You don't give someone a surgery."

"Maybe you do," Izzie shrugged. "I mean, she's going to be really upset when she finds out that Shepherd and the nurse went on a date together last night."

"Derek and Rose went on a date last night?"

Izzie's eyes widened as Meredith's voice reverberated against the walls of the locker room.

"Nice, Iz," Alex fired with a smirk.

Cristina glanced up from her sneakers and pursed her lips in sympathy. "Mere…"

"I'm not upset," Meredith insisted. "I'm just…seriously? A date?"

Izzie's expression crumbled as she turned to face her friend. "I'm sorry, Mere. I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's okay," Meredith nodded. "It's…it's good to know, right?"

"Look, Shepherd's a jackass."

Izzie shot Cristina a look of blatant disapproval.

"What? He is!"

"He is," Meredith agreed. "But it's over. The thing between us…it's over. He can date. He's allowed to date."

"We can drink tonight," Cristina offered. "Liquor helps."

Meredith inhaled slowly and exhaled with a whoosh before squaring her shoulders and tilting her chin ever so slightly upwards.

"No," she declared firmly. "No drinking. No drinking, no ice cream, no muffins. I'm fine."

"You're always fine," Alex snorted from the far corner of the room.

Meredith narrowed her eyes contemptuously in his direction. "I'm serious this time. I'm fine. Actually fine."

The other residents exchanged doubtful looks behind her back, and Meredith rolled her eyes at the judgmental silence.

"Look," she sighed, "Derek wants a wife. He wants some bright-and-shiny Stepford…thing who melts when he smiles and has sex without birth control and gets giddy over his McDreamy speeches and…wears engagement rings around her neck, or whatever." She shuddered involuntarily. "He wants some cardboard cut-out who's going to fit perfectly into his stupid Leave It To Beaver life, and…and I'm not that girl, okay? I'm just…not. And frankly, I don't even think I want to be."

She stalked over to her cubby and grabbed a Power Bar before defiantly meeting her friends' concerned gazes.

"Come on," she grumbled. "It's time for rounds."