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She woke with a gasp, swearing she could still feel the steel of the blade biting into the skin of her neck. Breathing heavy she glanced quickly around the room, confused to find herself home in Winterfell. Even more confusing was the rattling shallow breaths she could hear coming from the small figure in the bed before her. She remembered a scene like this from so long ago, how she had prayed to the seven to let the child live, how she had made promises to her Gods, and then never kept them.
Reaching forward she gathered the small boy into her arms, alarmed at the heat she could feel radiating off him, while being comforted by the weight she felt in her arms telling her that this was real, that he was real. She made her way over to the window and gazed up at the star filled sky, "I know I failed the last time I promised to love this child, but I won't fail again. If you let him live, spare my family the fate I saw, I will love this child as if he were my own. He will mean as much to me as any of my children."
"Cat?" She turned at the sound of her lord husband's voice.
"Send a raven to Kings Landing Ned, ask Robert to make Jon a Stark." She turned pleading eyes to the confused man in the doorway, but she knew she had to make her wishes known now before she had the chance to change her mind. She would do whatever it took to stop the butchering of her family.
"You're tired, you've been up with Jon all night." Ned said, shaking his head and she coulf feel the desperation welling up inside her.
"NO, you must write to Robert tonight, right now, Jon must become a Stark." She could not go back on her word to the Gods a second time.
She could see Ned fighting a war within himself, but never would she have expected his response, "I can't," it was so simple, yet so devastating at the same time. She knew she had to change his mind, the lives of their children depended on it.
"You must," She was preparing herself for a fight, but Ned's response stole all the fight she had within her.
He closed the door, though the possibility of them being overheard at this late hour was next to impossible, "I can't have him legitimized because is no bastard, is name is Aegon Targaryen, true born son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark."
It felt as if her world was crumbling around her, she remembered every horrible thing she had done to the small child in her arms in the dream, vision, past life, whatever you wanted to call it, all because she thought he was a sign of her husband dishonoring her. She didn't know how long her husband stood there watching her studying the child in her arms, her remembering the handsome young man he would grow into. Wondering if he would be as broody and sad if he grew up knowing a mothers love, knowing her love. "Write to Robert, it will give him that much more protection, no one will see Aegon Targaryen in Jon Stark. You are right, he can never truly be Jon Stark, but only you and I shall ever know that that is who he truly is."
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Jon's fever broke that very night, and Catelyn sent one of the servant girls to inform her husband, not relinquishing the child she now swore she would love. The royal decree coming almost a year later naming the boy Jon Stark.
She could still remember the hatred she felt for the child in her vision, as she had taken to calling it, and it was those feelings that drove her to try harder this time around with Jon. Whenever it was just her and Ned with the two boys she made sure to take a more active role in Jon's life, not wanting to risk slipping into what felt like old habits. It was that care that led to the strong bond she had with the small, shy child.
Her heart melted every time Jon would excitedly show her a new discovery or trick he had learned, much like it would with Robb. Jon loved to feel each of his siblings move when she carried them in her stomach, he could spend hours laying with his head on her bump singing to the babe within. She was reminded of the stories she heard of Rhaegar, and marveled at how like him his son was, also wondering if her hatred of the child had destroyed that part of him in the vision.
"He will make a fine brother one day." She overheard her good-brother telling her husband one day, and glanced out into the yard to see Jon and Robb sparing.
"The Nights Watch may be a noble cause, buy they will never have any of my children, Jon will one day have a holdfast of his own, Gods know there are plenty of empty ones up here, he will have a wife, and give me grandchildren, and if you think otherwise i will string you from the nearest tree." She practically growled at the men as she stormed off, staying where she could still watch the boys.
Watching the two she couldn't help but wonder how she never saw the truth about Jon. Even at the age if 10 the boy showed the signs, especially while standing next to Robb. Jon had the coloring of a northerner, much like Robb had the coloring of a Tully, but where Robb was starting to fill out and take on the brawny build of the northerners, Jon maintained the lithe graceful build of the Targaryens, and would up until he left for the Wall.
"Be careful!" She almost yelled, barely able to prevent the words from leaving her lips, when she saw Robb knock Jon to the ground, proud when Jon still managed to block the blow Robb had intended for his head. "Watching you boys spar is to lead me to an early grave." She told them as they ran over to her and Ned, who had moved to stand beside her.
"Then maybe you shouldn't watch." Robb countered with a cheeky grin, but Jon quickly cut in.
"I like it when Mother watches us, it's more fun to beat you." She could still remember how he had only called her Lady Stark in her vision, and found she preferred Mother. She still remembered the devastation on the child's face the day he came running to her crying that his father's ward had said that she was not his mother, and had called him a bastard. It had been hard to explain to the child that while she had not given birth to him like she had his siblings she was still his mother for she chose him as her child.
"Is this your way of trying to butter me up so you don't get in trouble for letting your little sister use your bow...again." The child blushed and glanced down at his feet, missing the amused grin that passed between her and Ned.
"I caught Arya using it, and thought she would be less likely to hurt herself if I taught her." The bond between Jon and Arya was one of the few things that hadn't changed from the vision.
"That was not the sister I was speaking of." She said raising an eyebrow.
"Sansa saw me practicing with Arya, and said she wanted to try...I don't think she liked it much. Not nearly as much as Arya did." She had learned from yet another past mistake and no longer tried to stifle Arya's wild tendencies. Instead she tried to teach her daughter that a woman could be a warrior and a lady. She hoped that should her daughter ever need to she would be able to protect herself. The result had been rather pleasing to Cat as it had strengthened her bond with Arya, and had curbed some of Arya's tendencies to rebel agains becoming a lady.
Sansa on the other hand was the same proper lady from the vision, but she had been hopeful that she would take an interest in some form of combat, archery being the one she thought most fitting for a lady as it was done at a distance. She thought about encouraging her daughter to try again, while allowing Arya to try practicing with a sword when she was older. She remembered Ned telling her in her vision that he had gotten a master to come teacher the fighting style of the Braavosi. The other thing she was trying to change was Sansa's belief in the songs, that knights and princes were good and just, while still maintaining as much of her innocence as possible.
"All the same, if your sister or sisters want to learn archery I don't mind the thought of them being taught, nor do I mind you and your brother teaching them, however, I want Ser Roderick to oversee the lessons as well." She told her boys, smiling as they ran off in excitement.
"Don't look at me like that," She didn't have to turn and look at her husband to know he was smirking at her, she was also not surprised to see the pride shining in his eyes eyes." It is your words that say "Winter is Coming", I'll be damed if I lose any of my children to it." She could see the pride shining in his eyes along with something else, and realized this was right around the time her youngest would be conceived.
It seemed, at times, easy to forget what her vision said was coming for her family, easy to forget that in just a few short years her husband and sons would all be dead, all except her sweet Jon, but he too would be lost to the Nights Watch. That her sweet Sansa would be a prisoner of Kings Landing, and that her own she wolf, her little Arya would be lost to her, likely forever. She just hoped that by her brining Jon completely into the Stark fold, that she had changed that course, and saved her family.