AN – I own nothing and sometimes forget to make that clear, however I do not, and this is all a creation of imagination…oh crap that rhymed but we've gone to far to look back now! Anyway, I am the worst and I recognize that fact, I left so many stories in limbo but I'm trying to be better now honest. At least for the moment I'm trying to be.

In this chapter I will be covering Hyde's detox, I may get things wrong as I have not helped someone detox of drinking as I am having them do it. I have however had many friends who had issues and told war stories, as most of us have I'm sure. the plan is to get this story to a point where it can seem complete when people stumble across it and give the poor title and worse description a shot, but I can still add to it if I think of something I want to add. With that in mind, here we go.

3:38AM day 3 of not drinking, also known as the darkest hour before dawn.

Have you ever had a panic attack while you had the flu? If not feel grateful, a rabid anxiety beast trying to claw its way out of your chest while you're also shaking with chills and dry heaving isn't something anyone should experience if it can be avoided.

Steven Hyde was huddled on the floor of his new apartments bathroom, half laying on the toilet exhausted from another bout of nausea, it had been going on for hours and even though he wouldn't turn down his nose at dying just then he knew the worst was over, the worst had come about two hours before.

He had woken up soaked in sweat feeling like his skeleton was trying to break out of his skin and all he could think was that he wanted a drink, it would ease the pain and hopefully stop the continuous loop of every bad decision he'd ever made that was playing in his head. He was alone, unloved, worthless, pitied, pathetic, no one actually wanted him around they were just too scared to say it, he would never be more than a burnout loser!

He'd gotten up to search for the flask he knew he had in the new place, one drink and he could make it through, he could start over after that drink, sure Jackie would be disappointed in him but he knew she would leave him again anyway so it didn't matter to him just then. He was rifling through the black dresser Jackie had picked out for him, and he could feel panic beginning to rise in his chest, where was it?!

"looking for something?" Jackie asked casually from the doorway of his room, if he'd been more coherent, he would have noticed how alert she sounded for one in the morning but being that he was not it passed him by.

"uh….no, just…" he blanked on a decent lie, if he hadn't been so strung out, he would have said he woke up sweaty and wanted to change pajamas, but that didn't occur to him at all in the state he was in, so he just stared at her trying not to shake too bad.

"interesting, at this point id be expecting you to be looking for something to help with the pain and anxiety, but since your 'just' I guess I can go back to bed" she shrugged seemingly unconcerned.

"I…" he still didn't know what to say? And they ended up just staring at each other for a long while waiting for the other to be honest.

Hyde broke first.

"I can't take it, I need a drink" he told her angrily, like always he would mask his guilt and grief in anger, and no one would know how scared he was.

Not only was Jackie not intimidated by his anger, she saw right through it.

"and I told you once you agreed I would not give in when you changed your mind" she said calmly

"that was before I knew how fucking terrible this was! Ill cut back first, but I can't do this cold turkey!" he yelled, assuming that Jackie would be frightened and thus give him his way, he was wrong.

"that's not the deal we made, the part of your brain that's in charge right now might want that, but it won't be in charge forever and the actual Steven wants it to be over completely" she told him firmly

"Jackie, I am the actual Steven and I'm telling you that I can't do this!" he yelled furiously, knocking the new dresser over scattering its contents across the floor.

But still Jackie didn't flinch from his actions, she just watched him with a blank expression as he continued to destroy his room in a fit of anxiety induced rage. When he remembered acting like that to her now that he was more conscious, he hated himself more than he knew was possible, but it was how he'd acted after that that really made him ashamed.

"why are you even here?! I never asked you to come back, you fucking left me here years ago so why are you here now?!" he screamed at her, her stoic expression was infuriating him.

"you know why I came back" she answered calmly, she would not engage in his argument, she knew better.

"no, I fucking don't! you just waltz back into my life after taking off to New York and think you have some right to change everything about me! I wasn't good enough for you back then and I'm not good enough for you, now right? Well I don't care if you don't think I'm good enough to be friends with! Go the fuck home and stop fucking up my life!" he bellowed viciously, something he would intensely regret not two hours later.

Jackie remained calm which pissed him off more, if he was being honest with himself (and he really wasn't) he wanted her to be scared so he had a clear path out of the prison cell apartment. But she didn't waver and if he'd been able to think clearly, he wouldn't have been surprised, for someone so small physically she was ridiculously brave.

But it was breaking her heart to watch him suffer like that, she wanted to tell him of course he knew why she came back, of course she thought him good enough, but she couldn't say those things yet, they would just fuel the fire in his brain.

"you should take a shower, you'll feel better" she told him like all the stuff he said never happened.

"nothing is going to make me feel better except a fucking drink!" he screamed manically and kicked his bed so hard the mattress was half off the box spring.

"and then what?" she asked

"what?" he asked confused

"you have a drink, and then what?" she repeated

"I stop feeling like this!" he growled

"no you won't, you might stop sweating like you are, you might quell the anxiety in your chest so that your blood pressure drops to a normal rate, you might think that then everything will be ok because the immediate pain is over but then you'll feel so much worse than you do now you cant even comprehend it" she told him flatly

"what?" he asked more quietly, the thought of even worse pain slowed him down for a second.

"every bad feeling about how you've acted in your life, regret over things you've said and done will hit you 100 times harder, you will drown in your regret and if you take a drink now you will give up the one lifeline you've got – that you're going to get better, one drink is giving up and I cant watch that happen to you Steven, so take a deep breath and come take a shower" she told him kindly

He stood breathing hard, heart beating out of his chest for along while, while it processed what she was saying, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle feeling worse than he already did, and what small part of his real mind that was still functioning knew to trust Jackie. So, he followed her to the bathroom and waited while she got the shower running, he expected her to leave when the water was ready but to his confusion and embarrassment, she did not.

"come here" she said softly and helped him out of his sweat soaked sleep shirt gently, then held him steady by the hand while he pushed off his pajama pants, her eyes firmly at shoulder level. He didn't have the energy to be embarrassed he was naked just then; he'd save that for later.

He felt the water hit his face and start to clear his mind ever so slightly, but it was enough for the shame at yelling at Jackie to begin making his head bow and his fist clench against the tile wall.

And then he felt her hands on his hair and smelled his shampoo, she was taking care of him even after he'd acted like he had and it was too much for him, for the first time since he was six years old Steven Hyde broke down and cried.

"it's ok Steven, I'm here and ill get you through this" she assured him softly

"I'm so sorry" he chocked out tightly trying not to sob.

"you don't need to be, I knew what I was signing on for and I don't see the pain making you say terrible things you don't mean, I see how strong you are to try and make your way through it, even when you want to give up you are still here fighting to be yourself again, and yourself is my best friend." She told him while she tenderly washed the sweat out of his curls.

"I haven't been that guy in years" he lamented quietly, the regret was taking over now like she'd known it would, but she was prepared for that.

"that hardly means he's gone, I can still see him in everything you say and do, and he's the thing I love most in the world so ill do whatever it takes to help him back from where he is. I will not give up on you Steven, ever. Even if you back slide, even if you decide to give up on this entirely I will never give up on you, there is nothing you can do that will make me not care about you and I will never turn my back on you" she told him with the fierce commitment very few could manage.

"I'm so fucked up Jackie" he whispered, his shoulders shaking with barely contained sobs, he was losing the battle against them and he didn't have it in him to care anymore.

"shh, we all are Steven, every last one of us is a damn train wreck inside, and anyone who tells you different is lying or delusional. The things that happen to us leave marks, some are just little cuts, but some are so much worse they leave huge gaping wounds that cause us pain every moment of our lives, and no one can deal with that alone, but you've been trying to for years. You made sure no one ever truly knew you well enough to see them, you tried wearing them like a badge of honor even while you were bleeding out from them, and then you tried to wash them away with booze and drugs and sex but they just festered in it. you have tried for so long all on your own, but you don't have to anymore, I'm here and I'm not leaving and you don't have to suffer alone anymore" she told him comfortingly while fighting back her own tears from remembering how hard he'd had it since he was so young.

He wanted to believe her, but he was too deep in the swamp of his own mistakes to hear that he wasn't the one at fault. He turned to her to say something to that effect when a wave of nausea hit him like a ton of bricks. He lurched out of the still running shower and fell heavily to the floor by the toilet, retching violently.

He was too sick to notice Jackie drape a towel over him for some small shred of pride or turn off the water before getting a cool cloth to clean him up with between bouts of sickness. He didn't see that she was sitting on the hard floor taking care of him in wet clothes, or that she was so sleep deprived from helping him her eyes were red, he was only aware of her presence and her cool hand on his burning skin while she soothed his aching muscles.

It was a long night, but even the longest night has to end eventually, and that one ended with the morning light streaming through the small bathroom window onto a sleeping Hyde curled around the base of the toilet in a nest of towels still naked but thankfully not on display.

It was probably the complete discomfort that caused him to wake up before Jackie, who was asleep in the doorway wrapped in her purple comforter she'd had on the couch. He was so weak from the night he'd had that for a very long time all he could do was lay there with his face pressed against the damp tile that he fervently hoped wasn't because of pee, and stare at Jackie while she slept, she looked surprisingly peaceful for someone staunchly blocking an exit even during sleep and he would have smiled if the muscles needed to do so weren't as tired as the rest of them.

Every last inch of him ached from the extended dry heaving on a hard floor, but in a way purging his stomach while sweating out months of excessive drinking left him feeling weak but clearer than he had in a while. As the memories of yelling at Jackie clawed to the surface he felt the shame and guilt start to drag him down again until what she said also broke through the haze, 'I'm here and I'm not leaving, you don't have to suffer alone anymore' even though he had trouble believing statements like that he had more trouble not believing Jackie.

She said she was there for him, and he knew it was true because Jackie didn't say things just to be saying something, if she said she wouldn't abandon him in his darkest hour she meant it, and if she said that she believed he was still the same person that built her a fort in her walk in closet when her parents were fighting, then maybe he was? He wanted her to be right, and he wanted to prove to her that he was, even if he hadn't felt like that guy in a long time.

"stop staring at me werido, I'm trying to sleep" she grumbled without opening her eyes.

"how do you know if I was staring?" he asked teasingly

"remember that time we went to the lake a few towns over?" she asked still burrowed into her fluffy blanket.

"yeah" he answered after a moment's thought

"I have the same weird tingly feeling in my spine right now I did that day, which if you recall was the day I wore my first bikini and you kept leering at me even while trying to get me to wear a t-shirt over it" she told him with a slightly teasing note for what a lunatic he'd been that day.

"you cant blame me for leering, I was 16 and you were in a bright pink bikini, I didn't have the faintest idea where else to look even if id wanted to" he told her with more candor than he'd meant, but he was very tired and worn out mentally to notice what he'd said.

"and you didn't want to?" she asked sleepily

But Hyde ignored her question in favor of dragging his sore body off the ground and shuffling to where she lay curled in a ball, presumably to stop any attempts he might have made to leave the room while she slept.

"come on get up, this floor isn't doing either of us favors" he told her with a yawn and a nudge of his foot.

"I'm too sleepy" she whined

"me too, come on" he urged

Grumbling about the whole time Jackie forced herself up and followed groggily behind Hyde until he stopped her and helped her to lye down on something blissfully soft, which she realized after a minute wasn't the couch she'd bought him, the only other possible option was his own bed which made her eyes shoot open.

"I should go to the couch" she told him seriously and started to push her weary limbs up.

"knock it off jacks, you slept on a tile floor all night to help me out, ill take the couch" he informed her sternly

"absolutely not" she snapped at him

"huh?" he was taken off guard at her reaction after being so calm through so much worse.

"I'm not going to get a damn wink more sleep in here with you out there with nothing stopping you from leaving and heading to the nearest liquor store, and sorry if me not trusting you right now stings but I simply cant if there's any hope of this working!" she explained animatedly, and perhaps a bit manic after the stress of the night she'd had.

"ok" he shrugged and locked the doorknob of the bedroom door before pushing the wreckage of his dresser in front of it, then climbed into the empty side of the bed beside her.

"Steven?" she said softly questioning what the hell he was doing.

"you shouldn't trust me right now and I'm clear enough right now to admit it, but we both need to sleep jacks, if I try to leave ill have to move the dresser and as you just heard that's not quiet, you'll hear it and hopefully be able to talk me down. So, for now – sleep" he explained and settled into the pillow with relief.

They were both on the edges of sleep when Jackie spoke again so softly, he could have pretended not to have heard.

"you didn't want to look away that day at the lake?" she asked him

Hyde swallowed hard before answering "no" he said simply "why?"

"I always thought back then that I barely registered to you as a girl, and you're not the only one who had a rough night, so I wanted to know why" she admitted without shame.

"well, the 'why' is pretty obvious I think, I was 16 and you were gorgeous whether I wanted to think of you in those terms or not, which for the record I always knew you were a girl even when I tried really hard to ignore it, I always knew" he told her awkwardly.

"well that's a topic we're going to revisit in depth when you're out of the woods" she told him sternly before scooting towards him and almost defiantly burrowing into the crook of his arm with her had on his shoulder.

"well alright then" he murmured a bit dazed and let himself fall at last into a dreamless sleep that allowed him to rest.

Both of them slept until well past noon, and when they woke up both chose not to mention the entwined position they found themselves in. for one thing it was kinda embarrassing, but mostly it was because it was not the time to touch on that subject or anything near it.

Jackie made them fried eggs and toast and they sat in silence while they ate, but it was a comfortable silence, and although Hyde felt like total crap physically, mentally he was doing a bit better all things considered.

He didn't feel alone, and it had been a lot of years since he'd felt that way. It made him feel some hope stir deep within the bleak chasm he'd lived in so long. Jackie was there, and she wasn't going to leave him, not while he was struggling and maybe not after, it all depended on if he had the courage to say things he didn't know how to say and then of course her reaction to those things.

They spent the day napping and watching tv and talking about easy subjects like music and movies, and that night was easier, which was not to say it was easy, but easier.

He didn't rage and yell at her, or spend hours throwing up even when there was nothing left to throw up. Instead he lay curled in the blankets shivering and crying stuck in waking nightmares his brain conjured for him out of the chemical imbalance he'd created in his brain trying to normalize. He clung to Jackie so hard she knew she'd have bruises dotting where he gripped, but she didn't care at all. it was agony to see him like he was, so much worse than the anger and harsh words the night before.

To see him reduced to this was so hard for her, he had always been the one that was strong and lent her his support when she was scared, and now he was clawing himself out of a pit she only understood in theory. But she held him and assured him endlessly that it was alright, and she meant it.

He would get through this no matter what it took, it was afterwards that she was afraid of, but she would swallow that fear and talk to him about it the moment he was up to it, which came a day and a half later.

Nearly six days after he took his last drink Steven Hyde was through the detox process, which did not in any way mean his struggle was over, because detox was just the first step. It was time to discuss the rest, because without a solid plan and support he wouldn't last a month.

"how're you doing today?" she asked, managing to sound concerned and not at all condescending, which is a fine line when dealing with a recovery patient.

"I feel better, not so weak and its easier to think clearly now" Hyde answered while pouring them coffee.

"in that case there are some things we should go over sooner rather than later" she told him seriously, but not so grave it set off his alarm bells.

"lay it on me jacks" he told her bravely while he set her mug in front of her and took a seat at the small table.

"you're through the worst of the detox now, there might be a few things here and there for a few more days but for the most part the physical side effects are over with." She explained

"that's good isn't it?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow

"yes, but it doesn't end what you're going to be dealing with" she told him with a sigh

"I said lay it on me jacks" he reminded her pointedly, he wasn't scared of what he was facing, his fear lay in another place.

Jackie gave him a long appraising look

"yes, you did" she murmured almost to herself

"the real work starts now Steven; this is where you have to find ways – probably more than a couple – to cope with the need to drink. And believe me it is a need you will feel not a just want, and its going to be incredibly hard at first, the only way it will work is for you to form some good cooping mechanisms and build a strong support network for when you're feeling like you're going to slip up" she laid out for him.

"well, I have no idea so why you don't tell me some things I'm sure you've already thought of?" he said with a fond smile, she wasn't fooling anyone.

"oh Steven, are you sure you want to give me that sort of control? Because I'm not known for my restraint" she grinned devilishly

Hyde gave her a dry look and waived her to get on with it.

"ok then, first off we have meeting, not your scene I know but it would be helpful in the beginning at least for you to see proof that you are not the only one struggling with this and that there are people who have valuable advice on how to stay the course. Secondly is what I'm going to call the phone tree" she said when he interjected.

"like in school when there's snow?" he checked with a smirk

"I have annexed and improved the original concept" she informed him haughtily "you will choose people you trust that care about you, you will asking them a number in the call order and when you're struggling like we both know you will, you will work down that list until someone answers and helps you through it" she told him firmly

"ok, well I guess after you would be Red and kitty, then Eric, then…you again?" he was a little surprised to find the people in his life that fit her criteria was a grand total of three besides her.

"I know this is going to sound crazy, but after Eric I suggest Kelso and Fez" she told him

"you think they're going to help me stay sober?" he asked in surprise

"I think they will be there for you because they care about you, and they will do whatever they can even if it isn't much to help you if you ask for it, but since I'm top of the list its very unlikely anyone else will ever get a call" she told him realistically

"well not until you go back to New York anyway" he said absently while he considered how weird it was, he might rely on Kelso and fez to keep him sober when traditionally that was the opposite of their role in his life.

"who said I was going back?" she asked pointedly, taking him aback from what he thought he knew of her presence.

"when I'm better you have to go back, you're in school" he repeated those facts like he was afraid he'd slipped into a parallel dimension.

"are you trying to tell me what to do?" she asked dangerously calm

"no, I'm just saying what I thought was the deal?" he defended meekly, he knew her danger signs better than most.

"fair enough, I just need to fill you in on the real deal as it sounds now" she told him with a smile that didn't really put him at ease somehow?

"I am not going back for the foreseeable future, the bare minimum amount of recovery time you'll need is one year, and that's assuming you work your perpetually denim clad ass off to deal with the reasons you drank like this in the first place. I am a year ahead of the closest competition at school and can defer a year without losing an inch of ground, which is exactly what I'm going to do. And if this takes more than I year I will transfer my credits here and go to school nearby, its as simple as that. Now before you raise some sort of poorly conceived noble objection about my life and yourself let me remind you I will do whatever the hell I want to do and neither you or anyone else will tell me otherwise!" she wasn't yelling but the effect was the same, she was resolute and unwavering, he would not dissuade her from the course shed chosen.

"are you going to keep living here?" he asked stupidly, and then mentally kicked himself for saying it when there were so many better things he could have said, not the least of which was thank you Jackie for caring about me after what a dick I was to you five years ago.

"for now, yes, if that's ok?" she asked less sure sounding than before.

"why wouldn't it be?" he was genuinely curious

"because I barged back into your life after you were very clear you didn't want me in it anymore and sometimes, I worry you'd prefer I hadn't" she told him truthfully

"Jackie" he began nervously "I never really wanted you out of my life, you know that don't you?" he asked her with a sad expression.

"really didn't no" she confirmed wide eyed.

"ok yeah, that sorta makes sense since I may have not been clear on that point" he admitted

"not at all clear actually" she reminded him

"fair point" he conceded then took a deep breath before telling her the truth she'd already asked for, but he hadn't been ready to tell her.

"I was going to move to New York back then remember. Of course, you do that's a dumb question. Anyway, you wrote to me so excited about it and told me all these amazing things you were going to show me, and it hit me – I would not fit in your new world even more than I didn't fit it when you lived here, and the more I thought about it the more I saw that I needed to bow out so you could live a better life without me dragging you down." He wasn't done, but he paused to gather his thoughts before he went on, unfortunately that gave Jackie a chance to call out her issues with what he'd already said, which were many.

"drag me down?!" she shrieked furiously "I hated everything in my life but you Steven! You broke my heart and left me drowning in a city with no one I trusted or even really knew! How the hell can you try to say it was for my own good?!" she demanded dangerously

"Jackie I am well aware that I was wrong, you don't have to remind me what a moron I was because I remember that particular fact every day. There was another reason too" he explained rubbing his eyes.

"now would be an excellent time to tell me what it was Steven" she nearly hissed.

"I had started to notice before you told me you were moving away that how I felt about you was changing, and it got worse and worse with every letter you wrote me, and then Red talked me out of moving and he was right, it was stupid to move away from nearly everything I knew just because I wanted to be with the girl Id fallen in love with who didn't know I loved her like that and couldn't possibly feel the same"

It was out now, and he tensed every muscle in his body in preparation for how furious and disgusted Jackie's reaction would be.

She was silent for along time, but he was pretty sure he could hear the wheels in her sharp mind turning while they formed her response.

"you fell in love with me and that's why you cut contact with me?" she said emotionlessly

"that's a simplified version but basically yes" he confirmed nervously

"but you never asked me how I felt, either about that or you bailing on me?" she added with narrowed eyes

"I didn't think it would matter" he admitted reluctantly, but 17-year-old Steven had been sure Jackie could never feel the same towards him, so it was better to walk away.

"I loved you so much Steven" she said with barely contained fury

"I know that jacks, but that's not what I'm talking about"

"it is actually, I was 16 and I knew from the moment I saw you that I wanted to be with you any way you'd let me be there, every damn time I looked at you my whole heart wanted to burst I loved you so much. I tried my best to look pretty so you'd notice me that way, tried to get a reaction out of you with a pink bikini, I tried to tell you I loved you over and over and yet somehow you never really got what I was saying! You are the only boy I have ever wanted, and I knew it the minute I saw you sit down in history class." She told him forcefully with unshed tears in her eyes.

Hyde was too stunned to speak, but since it turned out Jackie wasn't done talking that didn't matter.

"but I do sort of understand why that's how you chose to handle it, I really, really, really wish you'd come up with something else, but I do get it. we were really young and so far away from each other what else could you really do? I wish more than anything you would have told me, but even if you had there wasn't anything either of us could have done about where we lived. But if you ever have something like this again where there's something you know I would want to know, you better freakin' tell me!" she commanded him.

He peered at her across the table with a thoughtful expression.

"so, for instance, if I was worried that you'll leave if I mess up and drink, I should tell you?" he asked reasonably

"yes, I will not leave over slip ups and mistakes, I will only give up if I'm completely sure you have" she assured him

"and if I have a concern that ill never be able to get better since everyone sees me as the guy who parties, I should tell you?"

"right again, if jerk offs around here won't let you be better and pressure you to backslide, I will be there to kick their asses, and I'll move you out of their reach if that's what it takes" she stated adamantly.

"and if I told you I kinda never got over the whole being in love with you thing, is that something you'd want to know too?" he asked through the lump in his throat.

Jackie's eyes went wide and for a drawn-out moment she could only gape at him, then her head started to nod slowly.

"yes, that is definitely something you should tell me" she confirmed in a weak voice

"but if I told you something like that, how would you react?" he asked off handed as he could manage.

"good question" she nodded still looking shocked. "I think it would depend on how sure you were that you're actually still in love with me or if you're just grateful I've been helping you?"

"and if I was sure I was still in love with you from the moment you walked into the basement and started laying into me about what a low life I'd become, that would be pertinent to how you react?"

"it would be yes" she agreed.

"good to know" he noted with a nod

"good to know?!" she said in shock "good to know?!" she shrieked a second time.

"yeah, it's good to know for what I'm about to say next" he confirmed calmly

"this better be good Steven" she informed him flatly

"depends on your point of view I guess?" he mused

"Steven!" she growled in warning

"do you really need to ask jacks?" he asked with a rare vulnerability in his expression and tone.

"I really do" she told him looking lost for what he was saying.

"I've always loved you Jackie, how could I not? You've been the best thing in my life since you followed me around shoving fruit at me. All I've ever hoped for was to be was around you but that never stopped me from loving you with everything I've got, and I'm still terrified of you knowing this because there are many levels of me needing you and I am so scared telling you this will run you off" he admitted the truth at last with such sadness Jackie was taken aback.

"why does that make you so sad?" she asked worriedly

"because I've never wanted to put you in a spot where you'd have to tell me you don't want me! Not only am I not sure if ill survive that since you caring about me was one thing I was always sure of, but I really honest to god love you, and its gonna hurt like hell when you give me that regretful look and say that's not how you see me anymore!" he cried, sounding a little too desperate for his liking but he was too tired to keep it in anymore.

"you're sitting there in a band t-shirt with a hole in the armpit, and toast crumbs on your collar, telling me you've been in love with me for years and still are?" Jackie checked, with a lot more commentary on his attire than he was expecting.

He glanced down at his shirt before answering "so it would seem yes, but why are you detailing my zeppelin shirt?" he asked, glad really for any levity to help his heart beat normally.

"it's a memory aid I use, I list details out loud when I want to remember something perfectly" she explained without breaking eye contact.

"and I want to remember everything about you telling me finally that you love me back the way I have always hoped you would" she told him

"so, does that mean you love me too?" he checked so scared his hands were shaking worse than they had at the start of detox.

Jackie rolled her eyes which didn't really make him feel better to be honest, until she smiled at him with that same smile, he'd come to love back in 7th grade.

"yeah Steven of course I love you too!" she laughed so joyously he felt the tension in his gut disappear.

"just so were clear, I mean – stop sleeping on the couch, make out 90% of the day, rest of our lives together sort of love" he clarified

"I was leaning towards 95% but other than that yes" she admitted.

"I can work with that" he nodded agreeably "so can I kiss you now?" he asked with his heart directly in his throat.

"almost" she told him "things between us changing doesn't change the goal with your recovery, I will still hold you to everything we already discussed, ok?" she asked with concern.

"figured that already, and I'm not gonna use you as a crutch…more than I did before but is it ok if I focus on you as a distraction?" he grinned at her suggestively.

"I'm strangely comfortable with that" Jackie grinned back and crossed to where he sat and took a seat on his leg with her arms winding around his neck.

"you are the single best thing I have ever seen in my life jacks" Hyde breathed before kissing her deeply.