Hi! :) My name is Jade, but you can call me Maniac or MF if you want. I'm a writer, nerd, procrastinator, actress, singer, and EXTREME fangirl. I apologize if this becomes a little long… one of the many perks of being a writer.

I absolutely ADORE Britain and coffee. And sometimes I talk in a British accent and try to sound sophisticated. Because I can.

My favorite colors are purple, black, silver, white, and red.

My favorite thing EVER is Merlin. I will seriously talk to you about the show for hours, if you let me. And I get all HFSHFOSHOFHSOHFOS a LOT.

I especially have a fascination with Colin Morgan. And his collarbones. And his bromance with Bradley James. And his hair. And…. Yeah, his everything.

I do a lot of highly sophisticated and intellectual things. Such as watching My Little Pony. And singing in the shower. And wearing nerdy glasses, even though I don’t need to.

I’m 100% not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.

I am currently only writing Merlin stories. If you want to write a story with me, pm me, and we can work something out. :)

ATTENTION MERLIN LOVERS!!! - GO TO THIS LINK AND PLEASE HELP US!! - MF

https://www.facebook.com/merlin2return

I'm begging you, go to Fanfiction.net's sister sight, FictionPress.com. I'm Merlinfanatic77 there, as well. :D I have a poem collection called Pieces of Jade, and I'm including the link, below. I'd really appreciate it if you looked at them or even reviewed. :D

http://www.fictionpress.info/s/3067878/1/Pieces-of-Jade

Below are all of the websites I am on. :P

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- FictionPress.com

- Writer’s Digest

- (USER ID is just Merlinfanatic... they wouldn't let me put 77 in... grrrrr...)

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- Fanfiction.net

- The Heart of Camelot

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My USER ID for ALL of them, except , is Merlinfanatic77.

"Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Miss Whiskers, TanyaPotter, FireChildSlytherin5, Merlinfanatic77"

Below are some lovely Merlin links. :)

Long Live - Merlin and Arthur and EVERYONE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8Y9lH9HgBk

Merlin music video for Love Story - Arthur and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bzt5HWUVoU

Merlin music video for Hey Soul Sister- Colin and Bradley (bromance only)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHZLxX2jyjQ

Merlin music video about how Merlin gets no credit - Merlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQYH-5LOn_o

Merlin music video for sad magic reveal - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OlkzEbEBEs

Merlin music video for angry magic reveal - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UcQzvxhgAo

Merlin music video for According to You - Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6dCdUGfSqc

Merlin music video for I Knew You Were Trouble - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRiBehsNt_c

Merlin music video for This is War - Merlin and Arthur and JISFSHOFSHOFH EVERYONE OKEE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb-Qh53pa9M

Merlin music video for Colin Morgan's Life - Colin Morgan, Bradley James, Katie Mcgrath, and other people

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H8bFfWczWg

Merlin music video for How to Save a Life - Merlin, Morgana, Arthur, Balinor, and other characters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VgeT2xacwU

Merlin music video for Top Ten Merlin and Arthur Emotional Moments - Merlin, Arthur, and various other characters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZBe8ST5Etg

Merlin music video for You're Not Safe - Merlin, Morgana, and various other characters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooeS9SM8QBQ

Merlin music video for Just a Little Girl - Merlin, Morgana, and various other characters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlWkEi-1lZM

Merlin music video for Hurricane - Merlin, Morgana, and various other characters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8fVTKjKVyc

Merlin music video for What Hurts the Most - Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, Freya, and Gwen (briefly)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFDAlV0QK-4

Merlin music video for Echo - Mostly Merlin and Arthur... some knights, too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuaY6J3HgT8

Merlin music video for, "He's in the tavern, isn't he?" - Merlin, Arthur, and random other characters - LOL! SOOOOOOO funny!!!!!!!! *dies*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_HWl-Ms4A4&NR=1

Merlin music video for, "He is... my manservant." - Merlin, Arthur, and random other characters - Oh my goodness! Another funny one!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj9gmcLYmNo

Merlin music video for You're the Voice - Colin and Bradley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDZQGS6hoC8

Merlin music video for Wide Awake - Most of the cast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZHLBTY4Z_o

Merlin music video for It's Gonna be Alright - The whole cast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91TtSajTrW8

It's Not Our Fault We're Awesome - Merlin cast :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=P3fL-UBsRr0

By Your Side - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi12S0HicCc

Merlin music video for No Need to Say Goodbye - Mostly Merlin and Arthur. This freaken made me cry. :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=nHW8zy9Qnc8

Merlin music video for... just watch it. - Merlin and Arthur. This is the saddest one ever. Bring tissues. I cried for a long time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N--zYHmhIA

Merlin music video for Every Day - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXpakVph_FA

Merlin music video for I Won't Give Up - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LG2QQ1dtak

You Belong With Me - Shawn and Juliet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJzGEDSIw7Q

Check Yes, Juliet - Shawn and Juliet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwHfb5xT0wE

I've Got a Dream - Merlin and the Knights and Arthur (I REGRET NOTHING :P)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcaQ9cuiajg

You Found Me - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oToqQ330t-s

Rolling in the Deep - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRYnOnyXlGY

Merlin Crack (You're SUCH a girl's petticoat!) - MERLIN AND ARTUR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q13ITNeLQe0

Apologize - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YE9NKPPQE4c

Because of You - Morgana and Uther (THIS IS JUST HSOHSFOHFOS THE LYRICS ARE SO PERFECT)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dQNUEaZJs8

Radioactive - Merlin, Morgana, Arthur, and basically everyoooooooone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ34NrWg8aY

King and Lionheart - Merlin and Arthur (this will make you bawl like a baby)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CRfpZsWhKg

The Greatest Sorcerer to Ever Walk the Earth - Merlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MDqLkRPuks

Safe and Sound - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AdMKW-7zXs

She Will be Loved - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nELgr2hpw0g

Love the Way You Lie - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhqfi3qS6HY

Putting up With Arthur - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFmY8ex83Pc

Demons - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv0D9KM93Ww

Skyfall - Merlin and Arthur and EVERYONE (R.I.P. THE "ONCE AND FUTURE SHOW")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s01zlBE7Ex4

WE WANT MORE MERLIN VIDEO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM2xOcXDDu8

Time of Our Lives - Merlin and Arthur and EVERYONE (FOR ALL OF THE MERLIN FANS OUT THERE - LETS REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-5mNd6pCno

Breakeven - Merlin and Morgana (MODERN AU)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHhflUBtKZE

You Don't Know Me (Boston) - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX0kzxPO9tU

All This Time - Merlin and Arthur (MODERN AU)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grcf_cowOzI

Merlin Season One Humor - Mostly Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqOJtSgiHYY

Merlin Season Two Humor - Mostly Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJvxai3-0rg

Closer to the Edge - Merlin, Arthur, and the crew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VlddIikqQ4

When You Were Mine - Merlin and Morgana (MODERN AU)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUUqIFn2MrI

Promise of a Lifetime - Merlin and Arthur (so cute!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GK9uIts0dc

Gone, Gone, Gone - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEhYbQGmbHM

The Last Time - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5ZB2rJ19rQ

Strong Enough to Save - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts_2YW77T6I

Haunted - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pThJhtYrDzw

Breathe - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLnuGhr3h2A

Eyes Open - Mostly Arthur and Merlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCsxkkGFPFU

Somebody That I Used to Know - Merlin and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9imtodcjAo

A Second Chance - Merlin and Morgana (Modern AU)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjoKUD7xFwE

Never Let Me Go - Merlin and Morgana (Modern AU)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps0kfRah92w

Losing Your Memory - Mostly Merlin and Arthur (tribute to the finale) *cue ugly sobbing*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNl8sYhmhSE

I Too Have Suffered - Morgana (Watch in HD)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13Ctt3H9RFk

A Thousand Years - Merlin and Arthur (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HALP)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xYMqHwu1iw

What if I Told You - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FiabBFnVDA

When You Loose Something You Can't Replace - Merlin and Arthur (*curls up in corner and cries eyes out*)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jNXoXC_N7U

My Immortal - Merlin and Arthur (I WILL NOT CRY I WILL NOT CRY - I'M CRYING)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lee90H40vsQ

I'm Bleeding out for You - Merlin and Arthur (CAN YOU FREAKEN NOT)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gzj6jLD-uW4

Just Forget the World - Merlin and Arthur (BBS!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EZ8tLsPpPQ

Clocks - Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, Gauis, Uther, and Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS8BWAq2x_0

Secrets - Mostly Arthur, Merlin, Morgana, and Gwen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VhdJ1QBjcg

Your Guardian Angel - Merlin and Arthur (BAWLING OKEE)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zucYHJYrpk

You Raise Me Up - Merlin and Arthur (WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oeq-qepR2-M

Beside You - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqgNaJa_h34

DELETED SCENES - Merlin and Arthur (GO TO 1:15 AND DIE OF FEELS)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9SeMH3DMP8

Light 'em up - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bQ6ca9aVa8

She's Lost Inside - Morgana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLEmVZlUD1M

Let It Go - Mostly Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TopYibhQsRQ

Everyone Has an Angel - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC5r6z16URw

Meet me in the Aftermath - Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OYmwiKwzbc

You Can Be King Again - Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKsshZTU08A

May Angels Lead You In - Everyone who died in Merlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyNloEx6yWY

Silver Lining - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14wd-QcHSnE

Close Your Eyes - Mostly Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmC6tCO8ZJA

To Rise Again - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOA15LLM4EI

I'm Not Afraid to Fall - Merlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC3YuItf4zM

I am Cut - Merlin and Arthur (So beautiful)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RipevILZXHs

I'll Love You Long After You're Gone, Gone, Gone - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEhYbQGmbHM

Hurt - Merlin and Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IgJbK6aSu8

Only Human - Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, and Morgana (THIS GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUPnKge2g8g

Counting Stars - Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, Gwen, Gaius, Uther, and Freya (The lyrics are perfect)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mC8onGBg5Y

Let It Go - Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, Morgana, Percival, and Gwaine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TopYibhQsRQ

If you are hardcore obsessed with a show or movie or book, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that Uther Pendragon would accuse a rock of sorcery if he tripped on it, paste this on your profile.

If you have Merlin's rant down pat, this one's for you!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientist's liking. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a total clutz, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for something to copy and paste, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the type of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile..

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler then being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get all giddy when you hear a trailer for your favorite TV show/movie is on TV, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're not ashamed to call yourself a fangirl (or squeal like one), copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've every tripped up the stairs, copy and paste onto you profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you know a book character that just HAS to exist.

If you want your favorite fictional characters to exist, copy and paste on your profile

If you talk to inanimate objects, copy and paste to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end reading fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are Merlin obsessed, copy this into your profile. (HECK YES!)

If you automatically tune in to a conversation whenever anyone mentions Merlin, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile.

If you've ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you love rain, paste this on your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like profiles that have a bunch of stuff in them, copy and paste this to your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for something to copy and paste, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects post this in your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this!

If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a door or wall, copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If there are times where you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you don’t care if Charlotte is a warm, tender, loving, motherly spider. If she ever comes anywhere near you, she's still getting the shoe.

If you have a sign that says, “Do not interrupt me when I'm concocting evil schemes or I will bite you.” on your door, copy and paste this to your profile.

I've told them a hundred times--don't touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the doohickey not work with the thingamabob! – If you REALLY want to say this, copy and paste it to your profile.

You squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice. You squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. So how come when you squeeze a cow, you get milk??? COW JUICE, PEOPLE. – If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.

You’re at a park, flying a kite and a guy walks up and said, “You flying a kite?" If you would say, “Nope, we're fishing for birds.” copy and paste this to your profile.

People that know me think I'm odd. My friends think I'm weird. But, my BEST friends KNOW I'm a complete physco path! – If the same is for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

Bead necklaces... BEST WEAPON EVER! They also make good jewelry. – If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.

Insanity isn't a bad thing... but it's not a good thing either. If you’re insane, copy and paste this to your profile.

I'm not on a sugar high... I'M NATURALLY HYPER! – If you are, too, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think you’re insane because you say so, copy and paste this into your profile.

These are just too funny! It amazes me some of the genius the world shows. :)

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (and that would be how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, ya know, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought...?)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because...?)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious...)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh,...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Oh my...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a Korean kitchen knife -- "Warning: keep out of children." (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a matress warning label -- "WARNING: Do not attempt to swallow." (What prompted this?)

On the back of a watch -- "For Best Results Use Other Side." (I start to question the world now.)

On land o lakes butter -- "CONTAINS:MILK" (WHO KNEW!?!)

LOL! Hoped you laughed! :D

Stupid laws

In New York-

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. (Dang it!)

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”. (But, but, but-)

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 PM. (Why is that illegal?)

The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Well, that's a little obvious, isn't it?)

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. (O.O)

In Florida-

Doors of all public buildings must open outwards. (What if someone is walking toward you and you hit them with the door?)

It is illegal to sell your children. (Well, I would hope so!)

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. (Uh...)

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. (What is the point of this?)

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. (Who would own and elephant in Flordia...?)

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. (Aw man! Good-bye bikini karaoke night.)

In Georgia-

Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. (Okay...)

Signs are required to be written in English. (What if someone's foreign?)

No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. (So, any other day they can?)

in South Dakota-

No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants. (No comment needed...)

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. (But, it smeels so soothing!)

In Tennessee-

It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket. (I don't have pockets.)

No one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. (Do you mean 'off the sidewalk'? Cause that would make a lot more sense.)

Illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (I take that as offensive!)

It’s illegal for frogs to croak after 11 PM. (Do the frogs know that?)

In Missouri-

Frightening a baby is in violation of the law. (Too late.)

It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. (A drunk elephant? Now THAT I gotta see!)

Dancing is strictly prohibited. (How can you take away dancing!)

It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Why a bucket?)

A milk man may not run while on duty. (Now, Travis, what-ever you do, do NOT run while giving people their milk.)

In Idaho-

Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. (That's a whole lot of candy!)

You may not fish on a camel’s back. (Why would anyone try even try that?)

Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime. (0_o)

Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back. (Whats with animals and fishing?)

In Indiana-

The value of Pi is 3. (What does that have to do with ANYTHING?)

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. (I can still take a shower... right?)

It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette. (What idiotic man made that rule?)

No one may throw an old computer across the street at their neighbor. (Did that happen a lot?)

In Alaska-

Clowns beware! (What the heck?!)

In Kansas-

If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. (Ya know that neither means that they'd be stuck their for god knows how long?)

Hitting a vending machine that stole your money is illegal. (Why? It's know like the vending machine feels it.)

No one may wear a bee in their hat. (Why would they want to?)

No one may sing the alphabet on the streets at night. (Snap.)

Contrary to most beliefs, I'm actually a really nice person. :) Honest! These are just for fun. :P

List of Epicly AWESOME Insults

1. Welcome to Loserville. Population: You.

2. Don’t let your mind wonder. It’s far too small to be let out on its own.

3. No, really, I'm glad you've found someone. After all, if someone wants to go out with you, it shows anything is possible.

4. You might as well stop trying - you'll never be the man your mother is.

5. You must have been born on a highway cause that’s where most accidents happen.

6. If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.

7. Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.

8. You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.

9. You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

10. I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.

11. We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.

12. I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

13. Hey, you have something on your chin... 3rd one down.

14. You're so stupid you got fired from the m&m factory for throwing out all the w's.

15. Yeah you're pretty ... pretty stupid.

16. You're so stupid, brain surgeons are having a hard time.

17. You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

18. Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.

19. You're so ugly you make the second ugliest person in the world look like a super model.

20. Go away. I was looking at something better than you.

21. Your teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when you smile.

22. You're so stupid that you COULDN'T put MM 's in alphabetical order.

23. You're so dumb, you wait at a stop sign for it to go green.

24. What was that? You have a brain freeze? But honey doesn't that actually require a brain first?

25. Look, you aint funny. Your life is just a joke.

26. Hey I'm here from the ugly face factory I'm here to get the face you stole... oh woops that must be your real face.

27. I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company, since I haven't had it yet.

28. You’re so poor that when you went to the wishing well, you threw in an IOU.

29. Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...

30. Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

31. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.

32. Well, they do say opposites attract...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

Look, I live in the US, but these ARE true... and HILARIOUS. ;P

Only in America are all the back-pain relievers on the bottom shelf.

Only in America do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in America are there pamphlets that tell illiterate people why they should start learning how to read.

Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines in Braille.

Here are some stories I might write.

1. Dark Whispers - When Arthur overhears a conversation between Morgana and Merlin, he realizes that there is a traitor in his midst and the depth of Merlin's loyalty. FULL OF BROMANCE!

2. Good For Nothing - Arthur's temper gets the best of him, and he yells at Merlin, calling him useless and pathetic. Merlin takes it to heart. He disappears, choosing to protect Arthur from afar. Will Arthur ever be able to get his friend back? - OF COURSE, BROMANCE! :D

3. The Healing Begins - When Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic, their friendship falls apart. Can it ever be repaired? - EXCESSIVE BROMANCE!!

4. So, There's No Chance We Could... Have a Hug? - Arthur is hurting. And, for once, Merlin is the one to give him the encouraging hug, not the other way around.

Please pm me and let me know which I should write next. Thanks! :D

I have not filled out the beta forum yet, but if you want I can unofficially beta your story. I am really good with pronunctiation and grammar. :) If you are in need of my services, pm me! :D

I don't really have any good sayings except these quotes from Merlin, below.

Merlin: My life has always been marked out by destiny, if this is meant to be...I'm not afraid.

break

Merlin is supposed to be dead. He is fishing with a wooden pole.

Merlin: Breakfast!

Lancelot: What are you-

Merlin: What?

Lancelot: You’re meant to be-dying.

Merlin: Sorry. Here. (Merlin hands Arthur the stick.)

Lancelot: What’s that?

Merlin: You look like you’re going to fall over.

Lancelot swings the stick at Merlin. Merlin ducks.

Merlin: No-Not as quick as Arthur.

Lancelot: Oh yeah?
Merlin: Come on. We need to catch up with the others.

Lancelot: No! You’re going back to Camelot.

Merlin: You might be.

Lancelot: Merlin!

Merlin: Say hello to Gauis for me!

Lancelot: Merlin!!

Merlin: Arthur can’t finish this without us.

Lancelot: Arthur’s right about you. You never do what you’re told!

Merlin: No.

break

Gauis: You are a question that has never been posed before, Merlin.

break

Merlin makes a fire for him and Lancelot.

Merlin: I’m not entirely useless, you know.

break

Arthur: Now I realize you're not as big of a fool as you look.

Merlin: I feel the same, now that I realize you're not as arrogant as you sound.

Arthur: Do you still think I'm arrogant?

Merlin: No, more... supercilious.

Arthur: That's a big word Merlin. Are you sure you know what it means?

Merlin: Condescending

Arthur: Very good.

Merlin: Patronizing

Arthur: It doesn't quite mean that

Merlin: No. These are other things you are.

break

Merlin is prattling on about how Arthur and someone whose name shall not be mentioned were similar.

Merlin: …You both have a bad sense of humor.”

Arthur glares at him.

Merlin: You’re right. You have nothing in common.”

Arthur throws a book at him. Merlin ducks. That’s when Uther walks in. The book lands at his feet.

break

Merlin stealthily slunk around the corner, ready to strike the intruder with a fishing rod. He found it was only Gwaine.

Merlin: Gwaine! I could have killed you!

Gwaine: With a fishing rod?! Sir Gwain slain by a fishing rod.

break

Merlin: Do you know how it's like to be a monster, to be afraid of who you are?

break

Merlin: Ah, great another riddle. Just what i needed.

break

Merlin: We'll defeat the Dorocha. We will, Arthur. Together.

Arthur: I appreciate that. You're a brave man, Merlin... between battles.

Merlin: (Laughs) You don't know how many times I have saved your life.

Arthur: If I ever become King, I'm going to have you made you court jester.

break

Arthur: I'm trying to write a speech!

Merlin: Do you want help?

Arthur: No.
Merlin: You won't want this, then. I spent all night working on it(Offers Arthur a scroll that he reads)What do you think?

Arthur:(Returning it to Merlin)It needs a polish.

Merlin: I'll add it to the list.

Arthur: Merlin, there aren't many servants who get the chance to write a prince's speech. Obviously it would be too much for you to say 'thank you'.

break

[Merlin watching a juggler from outside Arthur’s window]

Merlin: Did you see that?

Arthur: It’s a man throwing sticks in the air.

Merlin: What’s wrong? It’s your birthday. A huge feast is being held in your honor. You’ve got jugglers and acrobats to entertain you.
[Arthur sighs]

Merlin: It must be a terrible burden.

Arthur: Perhaps I’m not as easily impressed as you.

Merlin: I’m really looking forward to it.

Arthur: Because you have the mind of a child.

[Arthur walks out]

Merlin: And yet, I’m still more intelligent that you.

Arthur: I heard that.

break

Dragoon: Questions...so many questions! For once in your life, would you just do what you told!

break

Arthur: Have you been here all night?

Merlin: I didn’t want you to feel alone.

Arthur: You’re a good man, Merlin.

break

Merlin: It’s… lonely… to… be more powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow. To be… special and have to pretend you’re a fool.

break

Arthur: Do you have any idea what it’s like to live with a man who constantly thinks he’s the best?

Merlin: Mmm… Must be irritating.

break

Kilgarah: You’re two sides to one coin.

break

Hunith: He must care about you a great deal.

Merlin: Arthur would do the same for any village, that’s just the way he is.

Hunith: It’s more than that. He’s here for you.

Merlin: I’m just his servant.

Hunith: Give him more credit than that, he likes you.

Merlin: That’s because he doesn’t know me. If he did, I’d probably be dead by now.

break

Arthur: You look like a startled stoat.

Merlin: Yeah? Well… at least I don’t look like bone-idle toad. Let’s go.

Arthur: Are you saying I look like a toad?

Merlin: Yeah, maybe one day you’ll transform into a handsome prince. But as magic is outlawed, it’ll probably never happen. Come on, let’s go.

Arthur: Merlin…

Merlin: What?
Arthur: I’m the one who gives the orders. Remember?

Merlin: Yeah. You ready? Let’s go.

break

Merlin walks into Arthur’s chambers. He finds Arthur, face slumped in a bowl of stew, sleeping. Merlin pounds the table, waking Arthur up.

Merlin: Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.

Arthur. You didn’t startle me… I was reading.

Merlin looks around. Nothing on the table remotely resembles a book.

Merlin: What were you reading?

Arthur: *looks around and suddenly realizes his mistake* *tries to cover up his mistake*

Arthur: I am the king of Camelot. I do not have to answer to the likes of you.

Merlin tries to contain his laughter, but fails miserably.

Arthur: What’s so funny?

Merlin: Nothing

Merlin walks away to start his chores. Arthur sees his reflection in the serving tray.

Arthur: Merlin!

An hour or so later, at training practice.

Gwaine squints at Arthur’s usually immaculate hair.

Gwaine: What’s that in your hair?

Merlin is polishing armor on the floor.

Merlin: It’s stew.

Sir Leon: Why does he have stew in his hair?

Merlin: Because he was reading. (He says this in a very casual way.)

break

Merlin has acted as a bait to lead Caerleon and his men to a narrow pass. Once there, Merlin looks around)

Caerleon: Trapped, are we?

(Arrow whizzes and hit on one of Caerleon's men who drops to the ground)

Merlin: That's the idea.

break

Merlin: You're a hero.

Arthur: Thank you Merlin.

Merlin: Not to me, to your people.

Arthur: And why is that?

Merlin: Because I know something that they don’t

Arthur: And what is that?

Merlin looks around. No-one is watching.

Merlin: You’re a cabbage head.

break

Arthur: You know, Merlin, you couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it!

Merlin: You’d be surprised!

Arthur: What’s that supposed to mean?

Merlin: Nothing.

break

Mary: You’re a handsome fellow.

Arthur: Well, you wouldn’t be the first to say it.

Mary: Oh, no, sorry. I was talking about your friend here.

Arthur: Him?

Merlin: Thank you.

break

Merlin: I’m Merlin.

Gauis: Hunith’s son?

Merlin: Yes.

Gauis: You’re not meant to be here till Wednesday.

Merlin: It is Wednesday.

break

Arthur: You wouldn’t understand, Merlin. You have no idea what it’s like to have a destiny… you can’t escape.

Merlin: Destinies are troublesome things. You feel trapped, like your whole life has been planned out for you, and you’ve got no control over anything, and sometimes you don’t even know if what destiny has decided is really the best thing at all.

Arthur: Where’d you learn that?

Merlin: Uh… from a book.

break

Arthur: Well, thanks.

Arthur clasps his shoulder. Merlin misinterprets it and moves in as if to hug him.

Arthur: Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Arthur moves back, and Merlin does the same. The both put up their hands, palms forward.

Merlin: I thought you were going in for a hug.

Arthur shakes his head profusely.

Arthur : No.

Merlin shakes his head shoulder as if trying to grasp anything.

Merlin: No.

Merlin nods almost sadly. Both boys slowly lower their hands at the same time. Arthur walks away, brow furrowed.

break

Arthur is dying. Merlin is near tears.

Merlin: Listen to me, clotpole. I don’t care if you die, there are plenty other princes. You’re not the only pompous, supercilious, condescending, royal… embecile I could work for. The world is full of them. But… I’m going to give you one last chance.

break

Merlin: Look at what you’ve got.

Arthur: What?

Merlin: You… got me!

Arthur: Merlin, what exactly are you going to do?

Merlin: I’m going to be at your side, like I always am, protecting you.

Arthur: GOD have mercy!

break

Arthur: There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of – I don’t know what it is. I want to say… It’s not wisdom. Yes, that’s what it is. Don’t look so pleased, the rest of the time you act like a complete idiot.

As if to prove his point, Merlin trips over a bucket, spilling it’s contents.

Arthur: As if there was ever any doubt.

break

Kilgarah: I am not a horse, Merlin!

break

Morgause: You intrigue me, Merlin. Why does a lowly servant continue to risk everything for a prince and Camelot?, you know the answer, but you are not telling me, Why? Come on, time and time again, you’ve put your life on the line. There must be a reason.

Merlin: I believe in a fair and just land.

Morgause: And you think Arthur will give you that?

Merlin: I know it.

break

Kilgarah: She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love.

break

Arthur: Describe dallop-head.

Merlin: In two words?

Arthur: Yeah.

Merlin: Er… Prince Arthur.

break

Arthur: Are you really going to face this dragon with me?

Merlin: I’m not going to sit here and watch. I know it’s hard for you to understand how I feel, but… well I care a lot about that armor! I’m not just going to let you mess it up!

break

Arthur: We have to lift him onto the bed.

Merlin: Why? He’s asleep. He’ll never know.

Arthur: Merlin!

Merlin: Well… I’ll get him a pillow.

Arthur: He’s the king!

Merlin: All right, two pillows.

break

Merlin just stole some sausages from Arthur’s breakfast to give to Freya. Arthur thinks Merlin took them to eat himself.

Arthur: Are those my sausages?

Merlin: Umm…

Arthur: You took them?

Merlin: To keep you in shape.

Arthur: Are you saying I’m fat?

Merlin: No! Well, not yet…

Arthur: I am not fat!

Merlin: You see? It’s working.

break

Merlin said something about it being unfair punishing innocents for magic. Arthur started telling about the evils of magic. Merlin looked doubtful.

Arthur: And what would you know about magic, Merlin?!

Merlin: Nothing.

break

Merlin: Wow! That was one really emotional speech you gave back there. I’ve never seen you cry, at least not like that. You had tears running down your cheeks.

Arthur glares at him.

Merlin: I never knew you could be so… emotional!

Arthur: I did what had to be done. Now, go polish my armor, idiot.

Merlin: And here I thought you changed.

Arthur just glares again.

Merlin: So there’s no chance we could… have a hug?

Arthur gets really mad and runs after Merlin.

break

Merlin is by the a lake, crying over his dead father. Arthur doesn’t know it was his father that died.

Arthur: Come on, Merlin. No man is worth your tears.

break

Arthur: I wanted you to know that I never doubted you. All right, maybe I did, but it’s your own fault. You’ve got a suspicious look about you. Shifty. Like you’ve got something to hide.

Merlin: I’m an open book.

Arthur: I don’t believe that for a second.

break

Merlin just came back from serving a mad and ungrateful Arthur.

Merlin: I’m sick and tired of cleaning up after Arthur! I cook his meals, clean his clothes, not to mention the small matter of saving his life every other day. And what do I get in return? I get picked on at training this morning, and when I try to tell him why and how Elyan is acting the way he is, he nearly takes my head off! Gauis, are you even listening?! Great! I might as well not even exist! Hello, my name is Merlin. Don’t worry about me, I’m not even here!

break

Merlin: Do you think I sit around doing nothing?! I don’t have a chance to sit around, doing nothing, since the day I arrived in Camelot! I’m too busy running around after Arthur. Do this, Merlin! Do that, Merlin! And when I’m not running around after Arthur, I’m doing chores for you. And if I’m not doing that, I’m fulfilling my destiny! Do you know how many times I’ve saved Arthur’s life?! I’ve lost count. Do I get any thanks? No. I have griffons, witches, uhh… bandits. I have been punched, poisoned, been pelted with fruit, and all the while hide who I really am. Because, if anyone finds out, Uther will have me executed. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being pulled in so many directions, I don’t know which way to turn!

break

Merlin: Well, on the bright side, you still have me. (gives famous cheeky smile)

break

Arthur: Merlin, what have I said about you trying to be funny?

Merlin: I shouldn’t.

break

Arthur finds out some small secret about Merlin. It’s nothing important.

Arthur: See, you can’t hide anything from me, Merlin.

break

Merlin: Everything I do is for him, and he thinks I’m an idiot.

break

Merlin: I just want Arthur to trust me and see me for who I really am.

break

Arthur: Were you born clumsy, or do you work at it?

Merlin: It’s one of my many gifts!

break

Arthur is shouting at Merlin. Merlin is doing things slowly.

Arthur: Are you deaf?!

Merlin: I wish.

break

Merlin: "How long have you been training to be a prat?"

Arthur: "You can't talk to me like that."

Merlin: "Sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?"

break

Kilgarah: In a land of myth, in a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name… Merlin.

break

Arthur: Do you have any natural gifts, Merlin?

Merlin: No… wait… At least I’m not naturally rude or insensitive.

Arthur: Just naturally irritating.

break

Arthur: You never cease to surprise me. You’re smarter than you look.

Merlin: Is that a compliment?

Arthur: Don’t be stupid.

break

Arthur: I’m glad you’re here, Merlin.

break

Arthur: I had no idea you were so keen to die for me.

Merlin: Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.

break

Uther: Can someone please tell me what happened?

Merlin: Well…

Uther: Someone with a brain.

break

Arthur: We’re hunting. It requires speed, stealth, and an agile mind.

Merlin: So you’re able to get by in two out of three, then.

break

Uther: Have you some sort of mental affliction?

Merlin: Probably.

break

Arthur: Merlin is a wonder, but the wonder is that he’s such an idiot. There’s no way he’s a sorceror.

break

Arthur: I could take you apart with one blow.

Merlin: I could take you apart with less then that. (thinking)

break

Gwen: There’s something about you, Merlin. I cannot quite put my finger on it…

break

Merlin: You came back for me.

Arthur: I came back to cover our tracks.

Merlin: You came back for me.

Arthur: All right, it’s true. I came back because you’re the only true friend I have, and I couldn’t bear to loose you.

Merlin: Really?

Arthur: Don’t be stupid.

break

Arthur: I’ve seen worse. Definitely seen worse.

Merlin: On a dead man.

Arthur: You’re not going to die, Merlin. Don’t be such a coward.

Merlin: If I do die, will you call me a hero?

Arthur: Probably.

Merlin: But whilst I’m alive, I’m a coward.

Arthur: It’s the way these things work, I’m afraid. You get the glory when you’re not around to appreciate it.

Merlin: Well. Unless you’re the king.

Arthur: Come on, it’s got to have some advantages.

break

Arthur: Where’s Merlin?!

Lancelot: I’m afraid… he’s still alive.

Merlin appears, grinning.

Arthur: Merlin! I thought we’d lost you.

Merlin: You can’t get rid of me that easily.

break

Merlin: You have a very good servant.

Arthur: You’re right. I do. A servant who is extremely brave and incredibly loyal, and to be honest, not at all cowardly.

Merlin: Thank you for saving my life.

Arthur: You’d do the same for me.

break

George, a servant who made jokes about brass, walked in. He started serving Arthur.

Arthur: What is your name?

George: George, sire, at your service.

Arthur: George. Listen, George, it’s all very impressive, very impressive indeed. But, I already have a man-servant. All right, he’s shabby looking, has appalling manners, is extremely forgetful, and seems to spend most of his time in the tavern, but he is… my man-servant. And to be honest, I quite like it that way.

break

Lancelot: Will you ever tell Arthur?

Merlin: I would like him to know. To see, just once.

Lancelot: What do you think he’d do?

Merlin: There’s no point in thinking about it. It’s never going to happen.

break

Arthur: So, Merlin. Being saved by a woman. That really can’t feel good.

Merlin: Feels a lot better than being dead.

Arthur: Does it? Being saved by a woman or dying? I’d have to think about that one.

Merlin: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

break

Merlin: He would never leave without saying goodbye to me!

break

Gauis: The druids’ legends are true: Merlin is Emrys, the most powerful warlock to ever live, the man who will one day bring about the land of Albion.

break

Merlin: Have you ever heard of the word sorry?

Arthur: No-is it another word you made up?

break

Merlin: I know you don’t have to listen to me…

Arthur: At least we agree on something.

break

Arthur: Merlin, you do realize there’s a curfew.

Merlin: Yeah, I was in your chambers, hunting for the rat.

Arthur: Did you find it?

Merlin: No.

Arthur: So, you have been outwitted by a rat?

Merlin: They do say rats are very intelligent.

Arthur: More intelligent than you, it would seem.

break

Merlin: I don’t think you realize how hard I work for you. I know you’re the king, but it would be nice if you could do one small thing for yourself, as a gesture, a mark of respect.

Arthur: I’m sorry to have been a disappointment, Merlin. I’ll try harder in the future.

Merlin: I’ll look forward to that.

break

Merlin is prattling on about something.

Arthur: Merlin?

Merlin: Yes, my lord?

Arthur: Could you do something for me?

Merlin: Absolutely, whatever needs doing.

Arthur: Could you… please… shut up!

Merlin: Yes, I can do that. Of course I can. That’s not a problem.

Arthur: Now!

break

Princess Mithian: One thing I’ve learned since being here is that Arthur values your opinion above almost all others… even if he’d be the last person t admit it.

break

Merlin: You’re in a good mood. Obviously you got out of the wrong side of the table… *Merlin laughs.* The wrong side of the bed… but you slept on the table, so…

Arthur: It’s extremely clever and funny, Merlin. There really are no limits to your wit.

(break

Gaius: How did you escape?

Merlin: With great skill.

break

Merlin: You never know when you might need to kill someone.

break

Arthur: I should run you through where you stand.

Dragoon:I really wouldn't DO THAT because if you DO THAT... you'll never learn of my plan.

Arthur: What plan?

Dragoon: Exactly, that's why you can't run me through!

break

Merlin: I am... Dragoon... the Great!

break

Leon: Er, what is the job, exactly?

Merlin: To kill Arthur.

Leon: He's driving you mad, is he?

Merlin: Not for much longer.

break

Dragoon:Ah. Gentlemen. What a pleasant surprise.

Leon:I wish we could say the same thing. Move away from the horse. Please.

Dragoon:What lovely manners. I do admire a man who says "please".

Leon: Now.

Dragoon: (to Percival) Have you got bigger?

Percival:You'll be getting shorter if I have my way.

Dragoon:Nice. I like it. Leon, really. There must be something in the Knight's Code about how to treat an old man.

Leon: You're not just any old man, though, are you?

Gwaine: You escaped the flames once, you won't escape again.

Dragoon: Sir! And you are not what you seem.

Gwaine: What is he talking about? I'm a good mind to run you through right now.

Leon:I think Arthur would prefer to see him alive.

Dragoon:Oh--oh-oh. No, really, Arthur doesn't not want to see me, believe me. In fact, if Arthur does see me, he will be in grave danger.

Elyan: Are you threatening the life of our king?

(Percival pokes Dragoon in the back with his sword)

Dragoon: Percival! That is a sword, it does hurt. Yes, I am afraid to say, if you don't let me go, then there is every chance that I will KILL YOUR KING!

Gwaine: Say that again!

Dragoon:Why? Have you got ale in your ears?

break) - Thanks to merlinissocool22 for all quotes in brackets!!!!

Lancelot: You know, Merlin, you’re the one Arthur should knight. You’re the bravest of us all, and he doesn’t even know.

break

Merlin: I’m happy to be your servant til the day I die.

WOW! Did you read all of that? (probably not) I'm so obsessed with Merlin that I've memorized all of those quotes! Really!!! :)

Quotes by the Epicly AWESOME COLIN MORGAN!!

People often ask me what inspired me to become an actor, and the truth is I can’t answer that. For me, it was always more like a natural instinct. Every part, every performance I have ever taken has just been about feeding that desire to act. -CM

When they told me I’d been cast I was ridiculously delighted. I ran around my flat screaming. - CM

My dad always says be nice to the people on the way up because you’ll need them on the way down. - CM

One of the things I love about your states is your peanut butter. It's completely different. The peanut butter we have here is like sawdust. But, your Skippy and your Jif is awesome! I literally order it online because I like it so much. I'm a looser! - CM

You got to love Colin Morgan!!!

Unrelated To Merlin Quotes

“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.” - Robert Benchley

“I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?” - Paul Merton

“A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.” – Robert Benchley

“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the heck she is.” - Ellen DeGeneres

“Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.” - Ellen DeGeneres

“I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” - Dave Edison

"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use." - Wendell Johnson

"Don't steal. The government hates competition." – Ron Paul

"Silence is golden...but duct tape is silver!!" – Anonymous

"Quick, what's the number for 911?" – Anonymous

"What’s your name again, John?: - MEEEEEE

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas A. Edison

"I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere." – Anonymous

"It works 60% of the time, every time" – Anonymous

"I was asked to name all the presidents. I thought they already had names." - Demitri Martin

"I hate when old people poke you at a wedding and say 'you're next'. So next time I was at a funeral I poked them and said 'you're next'." – Anonymous

"USA Today has come out with a new survey. Apparently three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population." - Dave Letterman

"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain." – Anonymous

"When people ask me how many people work here, I say, about a third of them." - Lisa Kennedy Montgomery

"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde

"Always forgive your enemies. – Nothing annoys them so much." – Oscar Wilde

"Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." – Oscar Wilde

"True friends stab you in the front." – Oscar Wilde

"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?" – Oscar Wilde

"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is NOT being talked about." – Oscar Wilde

"A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction." – Oscar Wilde

"Who, being loved, is poor?" – Oscar Wilde

"Memory is the diary we all carry around with us." – Oscar Wilde

"The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last." – Oscar Wilde

The University professor challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?" A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!"

"God created everything?" The professor asked.

"Yes sir", the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth. Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question, professor?"

"Of course", replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact, sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong, sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton 's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of Darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down totally deflated.

The young man's name -- Albert Einstein

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tohguht slpeling was ipomrantt! tahts so cool! If you cuold raed taht put it in yuor pfoirle

I could read it! Haha...

I am the girl ... that does go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book or write. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, Vic Taylor, Brokenwolf13, Bookworm700, Sparteen, GothicShadowPhantom, PsychoticNari, KP100, EmberMclain13, GhostDog401, Turkeyhead987, Mary Penelope, Qille, RainingSunshineEverywhere, Bookworm210, Merlinfanatic77

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Be Against Abortion!

Month One

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’ arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this!

I know that I don't have ALL of the Merlin/Merlin cast quotes down, so if you have a good one that I missed that was said either in Merlin or by the Merlin cast, pm me it. Thanks so much!! - MF

If you have read ALL of that, pm me and I'll send you a virtual Colin Morgan! LOL! :D No, really, I LOVE pms, so TALK TO ME!!! - MF