I Hate Him by Emachinescat

A Merlin Fan-Fiction

SUMMARY: Morgana's internal struggle after finding about her true parentage and what drove her to the brink of madness, inspiring her rash actions at the end of The Crystal Cave. Everything's not just black and white. She's more complicated than pure evil.

A/N: I think that Morgana's decision to kill Uther should have involved more sorrow and angst than just pure anger. She's more complicated than smirks and hate and evil. This is a poem that portrays the internal battle she might have been having during "The Crystal Cave" when she found out her true lineage. SPOILERS for S3 Ep5. Please review!

I Hate Him

I feel…nothing,
Nothing but the pain,
My hands are outstretched wildly,
My tears, they fall like rain.

Life used to be so simple,
Life used to be so sweet
I used to be so happy,
Back when I was so naïve.

I can't believe I thought he loved me
I can't believe I thought he cared.
My friend? My guardian?
My father…my father? I could have never been prepared

For that agonizing heartbreak,
That grinding, chilling fear
That the man that I once looked up to
Is my father…my father

He's a monster, he's a liar
He's stupid, blind, and deaf
He only cares for himself
And that's why I want him dead

I thought I hated him before,
But now I can clearly see
That everything he's said and done
Was to hide my patronage from everyone, even me

He's my father?
His filth runs through my veins?
If only I could purge myself
From his infernal genes

I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.

He gave me life, then cast me aside
No one knows who I am, and I hate him for what he didn't say
All to protect his precious title and name
Doesn't he realize everyone still hates him anyway?

He blindly kills and massacres,
He doesn't shed a tear
For women, children, man, or beast accused—
And if he found out I'm a seer?

The hypocrisy, the lies!
The anger and the hate!
What a monster, what a tyrant,
And I will make him pay!

What will he think when I take that knife
And drive it through his calloused flesh?
What final thought will grace his twisted mind
When he takes his last, ragged breath?

How will he react when his DAUGHTER,
The one he lied to and about
Takes the knife her own brother gave
And drives his spirit out?

I can't wait to see the pain in his eyes
I can't imagine how his agony will thrill me
He's a liar, a thief, a murderer
And his doom is impending.

Funny, that he gave me life
And now his is in my hands
I 'm going to stab him, to gut him, to burn him
Like he's done to so many of my friends

I'm shaking with anticipation now
I can't wait to end his life
I pull a cloak over my head
And rest my hand on my new knife

I'll kill him and feel no remorse
I'll stab him and shed no tears
I'll betray his "trust"
I'll make sure he succumbs to his fears

I hate him, I hate him…
How did I get here?
I used to be happy,
I used to know no fear.

I must do it, won't lose resolve
Wipe the tears away
It's his fault, he drove me to this
Uther and his precious kingdom will FALL on this day!

A/N: Please review! :)

~Emachinescat ^..^