So, for any of you following my "Gathering clouds" story then this is the new fic I was talking about. Yay! I managed to get it done finally.

For those of you who haven't read my profile you may want to know what this is actually about. This story is going to be a series of semi-related oneshots all with the theme in mind that Arthur sees or observes something about Merlin that he never knew before. This is basically the lord of all reveal fics without actually revealing Merlin's magic, though, I believe I may do that at some point. The ideas and settings for each chapter in this story shall vary. Sometimes it will be an episode tag, other times it will simply take place in-between episodes. They won't just involve Merlin and Arthur. We shall have Gaius and Gwen and Gwaine (all the Gs apparently) as well as any other characters that fit. But the main focus of this story will be our two favorite dysfunctional buddies. This shall have a lot of bromance, whump, and hopefully some comedic elements, but no slash whatsoever. Friendship only.

I shall give a brief summary of what each oneshot is about at the a/n at the beginning and I shall also tell when it takes place seeing as that will change. Some of these will be purely from one POV while others shall alternate between many, so really this series is going to be all over the place. Anyway, on to the first installment, one I have been thinking about for months and months.

Why He Hates Hunting: Arthur, Merlin and Gwaine go on a hunting trip and Arthur overhears Merlin telling Gwaine the true reason behind his dislike of hunting. Will this new information change the way Arthur treats Merlin? This takes place sometimes within series four, but only events from the first couple of episodes are mentioned.

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin and I shall never claim to.

Arthur relaxed for perhaps the first time in months. Gwaine had just taken over watch and Arthur was now nice and warm and already starting to fall asleep where he lay. He had been right to do this, it was what he needed. Ever since his father had died things had been so stressful and hectic. There never seemed to be a moment when Arthur got to stop and just be himself.

After everything that had happened with the Dorocha and Lancelot dying and his own father dying—even after Arthur had resorted to magic to save him—and having this kingship thrust upon him when he didn't feel ready, Arthur sometimes felt like falling apart. Probably the only thing that had kept him sane through all the odd regulations and ceremonies he had to go through now as king, not to mention the stress and pain of losing Uther, was Merlin, as strange as that was. Arthur had often found himself being comforted or advised by his weird manservant when he needed it most…and all that without asking for once. Merlin almost seemed to know what was going through his master's mind and when he really needed to be lifted up. Arthur had often wondered how Merlin could be so intuitive for being such an idiot.

But despite all of Merlin's help Arthur had started feeling too overwhelmed to put up with it any longer. He had decided to go on an old fashioned hunt like he used to with Merlin back before he had so many responsibilities, but considering that he was now the king he couldn't go on a hunt alone. It didn't matter that Arthur was the most skilled fighter in Camelot; he couldn't leave the castle without having several men following him. Arthur had ended up having a fight with his councilors and personal guards about it since he knew that he would never be able to relax if there was a bunch of people around that he had to act all regal for. Arthur was going to burst if he did not let off some steam and soon things were going to get very nasty, but somehow Arthur didn't think that telling them that was going to have much effect on his councilors.

But then Gwaine had shown up out of the blue and had stated that he was going to be traveling and protecting his king and that surely both of them together would be more than capable of taking care of themselves a few miles away from the castle. Though all of Arthur's knights were skilled in their own ways, Gwaine was arguably the most skilled next to Arthur himself and more than equal to any guard or bandit. The knowledge that he was going with had eased everyone's worries since they really couldn't find someone better to protect their king and so they had stopped fighting it. It had been the first time in his life that Arthur had been truly glad to have Gwaine going along with him to something.

He and Gwaine, (and Merlin obviously), had set out the next day for the hunt and everything had seemed to be going perfectly since. Even Merlin hadn't been as bumbling and loud as usual and Arthur had caught several animals in the first few hours alone.

And now as Arthur was falling asleep he felt like it was the perfect end to a perfect day. But just as he was about to nod off he heard the beginnings of a conversation that for some reason he was keen to listen to.

"Thank you, Gwaine," Arthur heard Merlin say, "I owe you one."

"Nah," the knight replied, "you don't owe me anything. I was just glad to help. Besides, it's in all of our best interests to keep Arthur from losing his precious temper."

"Yeah, well, I know that he's been needing this for a while," Merlin answered.

Arthur felt himself begin to fully wake up. What he was hearing was definitely worth listening to.

"I just hope that he shows a little gratitude once this vacation is over," Gwaine said in that slightly-bitter but really good-natured tone of his.

"I'm sure that you can get Arthur to thank you, Gwaine," Merlin said with a smile in his voice.

"I wasn't talking about me," Gwaine said fervently, "I was talking about you. After all, you're the one that came to me and asked if I would go on a hunting trip with you and Arthur. You organized this whole thing and you deserve some thanks for it."

Those words felt a like a jolt to Arthur's system. Merlin planning a hunting trip in order to give me a break? Arthur never thought that he'd live to see the day when Merlin would actually want to go hunting. And the idea that Merlin had noticed his agitation and had decided to do something like this for him caused an odd feeling to swell within Arthur's chest. It wasn't a feeling he had never felt before, but whenever it did appear it always surprised him. If Arthur had to name the feeling he would say that it was…fondness.

"I don't need any," Merlin said in reply.

"I know," Gwaine said, "which is why I still think that Arthur doesn't deserve your friendship. None of us do. I mean, you cannot imagine how surprised I was when you suggested this, doing something that you hate for a prat who's been taking his anger out on you."

"I don't like hunting, but that doesn't mean I hate it, Gwaine," Merlin placated. "I'm not about to begrudge Arthur a chance to relax. I know why he likes hunting so much. He lets his instincts take over—he doesn't think, he just does. That gives him an opportunity to sort things out in his mind, think things over. Hunting comes naturally to him and when he does it he doesn't have to pretend. When he hunts he's free.

"I may scare off some animals now and again, but never when Arthur needs it. As much as I don't like hunting, I'm glad that it provides Arthur with an escape. Everyone needs that at some point, especially him after all that's happened this year."

"Well, it is very kind of you to do it just the same. Hey," he exclaimed as if he had just realized something, "why do you dislike hunting anyway? After all, I doubt if you really hated hunting you would actually go along with Arthur, and yet you seem very insistent upon expressing your distaste for it."

Now this really caught Arthur's attention. He had been wondering the answer to that question for years and maybe now he'd finally have it. He turned his head just slightly so he could hear better and listened in closely.

Merlin chuckled humorlessly. "It's kind of a long story."

"Do you see me going anywhere, Merlin? I'm pretty sure we have the time," Gwaine said.

Merlin sighed. "It's really not that important. It's actually kind of stupid, really."

Why am I not surprised? Arthur thought.

"Come on, Merlin, look at me. Do you think that I honestly care whether or not it's a little silly?" Gwaine scoffed. "You overestimate me, my friend."

Arthur wanted to chime in at that.

"All right, all right," Merlin conceded, "I'll tell you it. But I should warn you, it's not exactly pleasant." He exhaled slowly and there was silence for a few moments. "I guess that there are several reasons, really. The first is rather simple, I just don't like the idea of killing innocent animals for fun, nor do I understand the appeal. Arthur's kills have no effect on whether or not he starves, so I don't see the point."

"Yeah," Gwaine said, "I thought it might be something like that. Your heart is too kind and loving. Only you, Merlin, would feel sad at the death of an animal. And sometimes I don't understand that, but then I see all the pain and hate and battles in this world and I can't help but wonder if we'd all be better off if we valued life as much as you do."

Gwaine's words stirred something in Arthur. Maybe the drunk was right; perhaps if they all showed a little bit more respect for life in general then maybe the world would be a better, a different place. It was definitely an intriguing idea.

"And what's the other reason?" Gwaine asked.

"The other reason is more complicated," Merlin answered slowly. "As you know, I grew up in Ealdor, which isn't a very wealthy village. Sometimes in order to have something for supper people would have to go in the nearby woods and hunt, myself included."

Arthur heard Gwaine snort slightly in amusement and he agreed with the knight. The idea of Merlin hunting, actually killing animals didn't quite seem right.

Apparently Merlin had had some sort of expression on his face because Gwaine offered a contrite, "Sorry, it's just hard to imagine you killing."

There was a strange and almost painful silence there for a moment and Arthur got the distinct impression that he was missing something. He really wished that he could see Merlin's face because, judging by the quiet, there was a reason the boy had fallen silent, but then after a still moment or two Merlin went on with his tale.

"However, in our town there was one man who never seemed to be in need of food. Or at the very least, he never showed it. He was an old man who lived alone. All his family and friends were long since dead and he kept to himself, so we also left him alone.

"One day the man went out hunting and came back with a few kills. It was a little bit odd because we had never seen him hunt before, but for the most part I and the rest of the villagers just shrugged it off. That is, we did until he began to do some even stranger things.

"The old man hung the dead carcasses on one of his trees and left them there. The next morning everyone would leave their house and when we glanced his way the killings were still there. Those animals stayed there, on the tree, for a whole week. Every day they would begin to smell more and more flies would come to eat what they could. It was disgusting. None of us could understand why the old man would go to all the trouble to hunt but then not eat the animals. It was definitely strange.

"It wasn't until one week later that the old man removed the dead bodies, but only to be replaced with two new kills.

"This went on for a month. Once a week he would go out and kill another two animals and he would hang them on that same old tree and take down the old ones. Before long we all realized that he never planned on eating them and that he wasn't going to use their fur. He was killing just for the sake of killing. So one day, a couple of the more daring boys in town went and grabbed the newest victims and ran back home with them. There were days when having enough food wasn't always a possibility and so the whole village agreed that they would use the old man's kills to feed those in need.

"For months and months we kept stealing the animals as soon as he disappeared from sight and the old man never seemed to notice. He never got angry and he never even seemed to care. So we kept on taking them. After a while, though, the old man began to bring back larger and larger animals, and more of them, too. It was almost as if he was getting dissatisfied with it."

Arthur heard Merlin pause for a beat here and take a long, deep breath. Apparently the worst was just around the corner.

"But the bigger the kills the more people could eat, so we didn't complain. One morning; however, when the whole village gathered to see what the old man had caught that day…instead of seeing deer or pheasants or even a bear…he had hanging from his tree…two little children."

Arthur heard Gwaine gasp and it took all of his restraint not to do the same. He couldn't believe it! Revulsion twisted in Arthur's gut and he felt like he might be sick. Children. Cute, innocent, harmless children. There weren't words to describe Arthur's horror.

"His two newest victims were some of the most pure and loving children in the town." Arthur could tell that Merlin was beginning to cry slightly. "They were twins, brother and sister. Everyone knew them, they had such kind hearts. They never cried or complained and they found joy and beauty in everything. I hadn't known them very well, but I had seen them and I knew their parents. It was devastating to everyone.

"The mother and father wanted to murder the old man, but the village voted and some of the more able-bodied men managed to chain him up and they took him to be tried by Uther seeing as how none of us really believed that we had the right to decide his fate."

Something sparked in Arthur. He dimly remembered a child-killer being brought from a distant village to have his father deal with him. Needless to say Uther had been more than willing to hand out the punishment to such a monster.

"And ever since that day," Merlin continued, "I have hated hunting. Not just because it reminds me of that man or the pain he put those poor parents through, but because it scares me."

This shocked Arthur. Though his ego told him that Merlin was easily scared, Arthur never actually believed it. He had seen his servant face all sorts of things, often without so much as blinking an eye, so he knew that he was strong. During the time when the Dorocha had been attacking Arthur had even admitted that he might be more terrified than Merlin. The boy just had a type of courage and endurance and hope that Arthur had never truly learned how to possess—imitate maybe, but never possess. And so the idea of Merlin being scared really just didn't make sense.

"That man started out killing animals just for fun, and then he ended by murdering innocent kids. It's one thing to kill if you need the food to survive or someone else does, but to kill just because you can…I know that Arthur would never turn into that, but part of me still sees those children every time that he crows over killing something. I can't help but think that that's how it began."

"Merlin, I—" Gwaine began but Merlin cut him off.

"But it's not even that so much anymore. Logically I realize that that is never going to happen, Arthur is a better man than that. Do you think I'd be still sticking around if he wasn't? And over the years I managed to put that aside. The biggest reason, I suppose, that I always try to ruin Arthur's hunts and I moan and groan about them…is that I feel like I have to."

What? Arthur thought.

"If I don't protest about it, if I don't hate it as much as I can…then I might be like him. I might become like that monster. He started by killing mindless animals, but it wasn't enough for him. I-I'm afraid that I might turn into him if I stop fighting hunting, if I stop trying to ruin it. And that scares me. So I always try to hate it as much as possible so that I will never turn into that."

Arthur gaped. Merlin had been right, it was stupid. The very idea that Merlin could ever become like that, that he would ever kill simply because he was bored was ridiculous! Merlin was not a murder, especially not of kids, and could never be one. That he would even think such a thing was ludicrous.

But Merlin somehow thought he was capable of it. It took a moment but that thought sunk in and Arthur realized what it meant. Ever since the day those children had been killed Merlin must have been carrying this burden, carrying the fear that he was a monster. Arthur felt a pang of sympathy hit his heart as he realized how much how that idea would have been hurting Merlin all of these years. Merlin could face any kind of fearsome creature, but even the tiniest doubt that he might be capable of causing that kind of pain could very well kill him.

"No!" Gwaine exclaimed, "Merlin, no. That is not you, that will never be you! Whether you like hunting or not you could never become that. You are so much better, Merlin." There was a sound of movement and Arthur guessed that Gwaine had grabbed Merlin's shoulders. "Listen to me, you have the kindest, purest, most loving and most selfless heart I have ever seen and nothing can take that away from you. I have seen all types of monsters, human and magical, and you are the farthest thing from them. The very fact that this has been plaguing you for so long proves how loving your heart is. I know you would rather die than hurt anyone innocent. So don't you dare believe that you are a monster. That could never happen."

There was a little more silence and then, "I have killed before, Gwaine. And every time I do I can feel the blood on my hands. It's like their deaths are burned into my soul and I can never forget them. Sometimes I feel like a monster."

"Well, that's normal, Merlin, even good, to feel that way after killing. If you can kill without letting it get to you at all then I might be worried, because that's the first step to becoming a murderer. But all these people, Merlin, you only ever killed because you had to, which means that you are not a killer."

"Maybe," Merlin agreed.

The two of them stopped talking for a while and all Arthur could hear was the crackling fire and the sounds of wildlife in the woods.

"So…" Gwaine said at last, "that is the reason why you sabotage Arthur's hunting." It wasn't a question.

"Well," Merlin replied, "there are a few tiny others, but yes, that is the main reason."

"Have you ever told Arthur?" Gwaine inquired.

"He never asked."

Arthur felt a stab of guilt hit him. All this time he had been forcing Merlin to go with him on these hunts, to do the very thing that he feared, and he had never even once properly asked Merlin why he didn't like it.

"It depends on how he asked it," Merlin answered. "Though, even if he did I'm not sure I would tell him."

Those last words felt like a blow to Arthur. Did Merlin not trust him enough to tell him? Or was it something else, something worse?

"Oh, why is that?"

"Because," Merlin replied, "he loves hunting, I don't want to take that away from him. If I told him that story it could ruin the sport for him forever. Like I said, this is Arthur's escape and he deserves it. As much as I don't like it I'm glad he does and I'm glad that he doesn't let that change him. So perhaps, if he asked, I might lie because I don't know if I have the heart to take this from him. Being king is a very difficult and stressful job; he doesn't need yet something else stolen from him."

The pain and even anger that Arthur was feel mere seconds before vanished to be replaced with a warm feeling in his gut. Sometimes Arthur couldn't believe the depth of his servant's loyalty to him and he knew that he didn't deserve it.

"Not to mention," Gwaine said, humor in his voice, "you'd hate it if Arthur went on a hunting trip without you."

"Of course," Merlin replied, the laughter and joy returning to his tone, too. "Look at him, Arthur would be lost without me."

Gwaine chuckled. "Honestly, I don't know why you stay with him."

"Do you believe in destiny, Gwaine?" Merlin asked.

What? Arthur thought with surprise.

"I don't know, I've never really thought about it. What, you think you're destined to be Arthur's servant for the rest of your life? I can't imagine a worse fate." Arthur had to restrain a scowl at that.

"Maybe. All I know is that before I came to Camelot I felt lost and alone and afraid of myself, but now I have family and friends and I'm far too busy to ever be lonely. Maybe it's destiny, maybe it's not. But I know that I'm happier here than I ever was in Ealdor," Merlin answered simply.

"And we're happy to have you, mate. After all, you're the only one who can keep Arthur in line, keep him from being too much of a prat."

Arthur couldn't help but smile at that, though really he should be worried that Merlin was being a bad influence on Gwaine.

"Yep," Merlin agreed, "that's my job, which includes planning sudden hunting trips just when he needs it."

"You really are a good friend, Merlin," Gwaine said seriously, "he's lucky to have you."

Yes I am, Arthur thought.

It wasn't until four months later that Merlin brought up a topic that Arthur had been very keen to avoid.

"Hey," Merlin said as Arthur ate his breakfast, "you haven't gone hunting or even mentioned it in a while. Why?" he asked as he straightened some of Arthur's things.

Arthur paused mid-chew and remembered that he had known that his servant would probably bring it up at some point. He finished chewing then said, "Yeah, well, I haven't been in the mood for it lately. Why, do you want to go?" he asked mockingly.

"Me? Never. I hate hunting. I've just learned to be suspicious whenever you act strangely, Arthur, it never bodes well." Merlin began making the bed.

Arthur winced at the reminder. "Well, I've been busy what with running the kingdom and all. Besides, if I need an escape I can always just spar with you for a couple of hours. That usually makes me feel better." Arthur smirked at Merlin's horrified face.

"Oh, yes," Merlin said sarcastically, "a great deal of bodily harm always makes me feel better, too."

Arthur turned to leave his room, clapping Merlin on the shoulder as he did so. "I'm glad we agree, Merlin."

Once Arthur made it out into the hall he sighed. He didn't want Merlin to know that he was purposely avoiding hunting for his sake. After all, it wouldn't do well to be seen caring about the boy.

Arthur straightened his clothes a little and began striding confidently down the corridor. No, Arthur wouldn't make Merlin go hunting any more than necessary to keep up the charade. And he wouldn't beat the tar out of Merlin in training, either. Ever since Arthur had heard Merlin's story and had learned of the sacrifice the boy was making for him by arranging the emergency hunting trip things had changed. Whenever he got antsy and felt the need to get away he would just think of Merlin and his loyalty and what hunting reminded him of and he suddenly no longer wanted to leave.

Merlin had put up with a lot of discomfort for his sake time and time again. Now it was time for Arthur to return the favor.

*paces back and forth nervously* So? Did you like it? I realize that it was mostly dialogue, but it really had to be that way. Don't worry, most of these oneshots shall contain many more descriptions. Personally, I found it interesting to try to write decently without having the advantage of saying what expression someone had on their face or the movements they were making. I wouldn't want to do it all the time, but it was interesting to try and hopefully I won't have to do it for a while 'cause it's rather exhausting. I hope that despite some of the oddness you liked it.

Just so you all know the updates for this will be sporadic at best, meaning that I have no idea when the next one is coming. Therefore, this may be a story that you'd want to put on alert. Please review with feedback and any and all questions you may have.