Name: Calvin (Blank)

Age: 16

Gender: I'm pretty sure I'm a dude. Could be wrong, but I have a dick, so I'm most likely a dude. Probably.

Country: I am in Asia.

Occupation: Right now I'm working in the administrative department of a company as a night job. I go to school in the day. I'm working cause my family's poor and stuff, so I won't have much time to update new chapters.

My nickname... I was, still am, a really big fan of Naruto, so... Whatever, i created this account like four years ago when I was 12. I can't really change it now, since there are people following my stories. So just bare with the immature name a 12-year old came up with, alright?

Elemental Nations Map: http:///art/Elemental-Nations-Political-Map-317422394

Pseudo-Rant

Every 'Wrong-BWL harry' story

Chapter 1 - Oh no, Voldie's coming after our babies! Hide under a fidelius charm and have Peter as our secret keeper, cause we are kinda dumb like that. Oh shit! Voldie's here! He after the babies, incapacitating mum and dad. Now, Voldie either 1. AK Harry and has curse rebound OR 2. AK Harry's twin, but Harry protects his brother, cause why not. Either way, Voldie ends up in a smoking pile of ash. Guess what, Dumbles arrive, and somehow guesses that Twin is BWL!... For some reason. Without and further analysis...

Chapter 2 - Harry is neglected! *Insert sob story of parent negligence*

Chapter 3 and onwards - DARK HARRY 4EVARRRRRR!!!!!!

I'm not saying I don't like these stories cause I love Wrong-BWL stories, I'm saying that I tend to skip chapter 1 and chapter 2 whenever I find these stories.

Good Harry stories

I really dislike a Harry who is like a total goody goody. Helps the needy and donates to charity, that kinda shit. Cause being a teenage male, having awesome magical powers would not make me a good person. NO! I would be like the most villainous villain in villain history. Doing villain shit. Some would say like "Oh, that's what makes Harry different." Fuck you, you don't know what you're talking about.

Then again, I still like reading quality HP stories, even if they're total bullshit, and full of mushy romantic stuff. But it's bullshit with a good story and grammar.

Romance/Harem stories

Fuck me. Okay, this is the difference between a romance story written by a dude, and a romance story written by a girl.

Dude : FUCK ALL THE WOMEN, OMNOMNOMNOM.

Girl : Fluffy clouds and rainbows an unicorns poop glitter. HEARTZ EVERYWHERE And even though Harry's a teenage male with raging hormones that causes something else to be raging *hint hint, he wouldn't do anything with the girls who are practically throwing themselves at him, cause you know what, he's a good boy.

I fucking love romance stories that guys write, cause there really isn't any romance in the stories. Its just a huge orgy from start to end. Guys like that. But romance stories written by girls just give me goosebumps. I don't know why, it's just happens!

Then again, read . Even if it's completely wrong, good stories with a good plot and good grammar still deserves a try, and honestly they'd be really really good... if not for the fucking rainbows and unicorns and marshmallows filled with clouds.

Slash and Mpreg Stories

Fuck you. Not homophobic, but just- just- fuck you.

Difference between Naruto and HP fanfic

Naruto stories are easy to write, because from the start to the end, it's just action packed, and full of violence. Everyone is fighting everywhere, and that's awesome, IMO. That's why i fucking hate Naruto stories without any action and just full of fucking talk talk talk. That's fucking boring, go shoot yourself. However, most Naruto fans are simple! If they're like me, they read Naruto stories for a few reasons. 1. See Naruto kickass. 2. The romance (basically just fucking) with characters Naruto don't usually interact with in the manga. 3. The fight scenes are really cool if you know how to pull them off (I can't.).

Now, HP stories are different. They are really difficult to write, even though I do enjoy doing it. But sometimes, I just have these massive writer's block, because after so long of writing Naruto stories, it's difficult to adjust to the slower, and more deep Harry Potter stories. Because the characters in HP fanfics TALK ALOT. And that's good, because dialogues between character is a great way to advance the story. And because the setting is usually in Hogwarts, there isn't much action cause they're fucking students, they aren't supposed to fight each other everyday. In my school, you're expelled if you fight. Immediate expulsion, no second chances. Where was I again? Right. So you see, the fan base for the two series are completely different people, (except for those in between like me). They are looking for 2 different things when reading these stories.
And I'm Not good at writing conversations, completely shit. Sometimes I'd just be, "Fuck...I can't advance the story without them talking. Fuck...!"

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember

Fifty Years of Math 1959 - 2010 (in the USA )

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for 1.58. The counter girl took my 2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help.. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950's:

1. Teaching Math In 1950's

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for 100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1960's

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for 100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or 80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970's

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for 100. His cost of production is 80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980's

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for 100.. His cost of production is 80 and his profit is 20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990's

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of 20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels
feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )

6. Teaching Math In 2010

Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para 100. El costo de la producciones es 80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

K.Y.U.U.B.I. 6.6.6

I have discovered the equation to go over the top in everything!

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8118423151811 = 98 percent
and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11141523125475 = 96 percent

but
A-T-T-I -T-U-D-E
120209202145 = 100 percent

and,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2211212198920 = 103 percent

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1191911919199147 = 118 percent

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASS KISSING that will put you over the top.