Prove the Pervert Wrong
Chapter One: Perverts, Foxes, and Cloak-Wearing Freaks
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be writing a fan fiction. Also, the manga/show would probably suck. Luckily, that isn't the case.
"Speech"
/Thoughts/
"If you're going to live as a ninja, live wiser. If you remain an idiot, it will be tough to live in this world. That's the harsh truth." As the old man concluded his speech, he couldn't even bring himself to look at the young blond. Or, rather, to look at himself, trying to get Orochimaru to return once more.
"All right…" Naruto was sure it was a bluff, and he couldn't give up on his friend or his promise. "If that's what it means to be wise, I'll be an idiot all my life! I'll think of an even greater technique and save Sasuke for sure! And then… and then… I'll beat Akatsuki up!"
"If someone like you tries to do it all alone… all you'll think of is a bunch of useless, perverted techniques." /Time is of the essence for him, but I can't let him continue down this path… It's too painful, and it could crush him completely/ "I know I said it would depend on the issue, but…" Naruto got a hopeful look on his face; he just knew ero-sennin was going to agree to train him anyway. "Instead, I will have you banned from leaving the village at all." Naruto's face fell immediately. "ANBU will be watching you around the clock, and you won't be allowed to perform missions. Excuse me; I need to speak with Tsunade." Just like that, Jiraiya was gone.
Naruto just lay there, in the hospital bed, wondering what to do. /Kuso… Now even he doesn't think I'm strong enough to do anything on my own! But, he's probably right… The only jutsu I've ever created were perverted, and even those weren't really new jutsu, they were just changed... If I really want to get stronger, though, I'll have to prove him wrong. I can't be Hokage if I never make any jutsu of my own anyway. For Sasuke, Sakura, and my dream… I have to get stronger!/
"What do you mean you won't train Naruto!" Tsunade was waiting until he mentioned "data gathering" to break all of his ribs. "If you don't train him then he won't stand a chance!"
"I mean exactly that, Tsunade." He kept his voice calm, deciding not to test her temper. "I won't train him until he gives up on chasing Sasuke."
Her eyebrow twitching slightly, she forced herself to lower her voice. "Ah, so that's how it is. You won't train him if he makes the same mistakes that you made, even though the circumstances are completely different and--"
"They are not!" Jiraiya couldn't help but interrupt if she was going to say something like that. "Sasuke and Orochimaru are very similar, Tsunade, you can't deny that. They will both do anything to obtain power, and neither could ever be convinced to change their ways, even by their best friends!"
"Jiraiya…" Truthfully, she had reached the same conclusion, but she didn't want to believe it. "Naruto is just the type of person that can convince Sasuke to come back." Seeing Jiraiya about to interrupt, she held up her hand and continued. "He changes people, Jiraiya. I've seen it, and I know you have too. I was thinking along the same lines as you, but Naruto is just the kind of person to prove us wrong. He will bring Sasuke back."
Hearing Tsunade say something this naïve was leaving Jiraiya with a bad taste in his mouth. The idea that she could believe something so absurd, even after what had happened with Orochimaru, was unsettling to say the least. "If you want to believe in fairy tales, I won't stop you. Still, I won't train someone just to watch their spirit be crushed by utter failure a few years down the road. If you won't convince ANBU to watch him, I will."
"…if you really won't train him--"
"I won't."
Not liking where this was going, Tsunade knew what she had to do. "If that is really the case, then you're right. Naruto can't be allowed to leave the village, and I'll have someone watching him at all times. As much as I hate to do it, I'll have to stop letting him take missions too."
"So you finally came to your senses?"
"No." She wasn't going to let him think he'd won. "I just don't want any headaches while I wait for you to come to yours. He'll just keep complaining to me if I give him D-rank missions… I guess I should go tell him now." Using every ounce of her willpower to not hit Jiraiya square in the face, although she wasn't sure that it wouldn't be worth it, she headed to the hospital.
Stopping just outside of Naruto's hospital room Tsunade could hear him talking to Sakura. She decided that this conversation shouldn't be interrupted.
"Wait just a little longer, okay? I'll definitely keep my promise."
/Oh, they're talking about that. Maybe I should interrupt… No, it can wait./ She was a little surprised that Sakura seemed so determined to help all of a sudden, but forced herself to focus on what she had to tell Naruto.
When Sakura left, Tsunade waited a few seconds before entering. When she did, she decided to start the conversation on a soft note. "So, Naruto, I heard you ran away from the hospital." Naruto's face tensed. "Relax, Naruto, I'm not nearly as mad as Shizune. Still, you might want to listen to her next time…" She couldn't help but form a grin, knowing that Naruto would never willingly lie down for an indeterminate period of time just because a medic told him he wasn't okay yet.
When Naruto didn't respond immediately, Tsunade knew there was a problem. He had one of the biggest grins she had ever seen, which meant that he was probably troubled by something. Right when she was about to ask if he was okay, he decided to speak. "So… can I go yet?"
"No."
"What! I'm fine, and I need to start training right away--"
"About that, Naruto…" /Now's as good a time as any…/ "Jiraiya told me that he won't be training you." As Naruto's face suddenly became an over-exaggerated scowl, she decided that he was probably okay. "I don't like what I have to do, but--"
"You can't keep me in the village, baa-chan!"
"Naruto." He closed his mouth instead of screaming out whatever protest he had ready. "With the threat of Akatsuki, and the current situation with Sasuke and Orochimaru, I have no choice but to keep you in the village. Without Jiraiya to protect you, the risk is too great. Jiraiya will come to his senses eventually, but until then all I'm asking is for you to wait patiently, alright? Maybe you could even use that time to make yourself stronger, instead of arguing with everyone just because you're upset…"
Obviously, that was the wrong thing to say. Naruto wouldn't even look at her while she tried to cheer him up, and she ended up leaving him in sour spirits.
Naruto, realizing what had been wrong with Sakura during their conversation earlier that day, managed to break free of the bed and ran towards the town gate. Immediately after he had he convinced her to let him come with her, wherever she was going, Jiraiya came out of his hiding spot in the nearby forest.
"Don't try to stop us, ero-sennin!"
Seeing Sakura figure out who he was, Jiraiya found himself slightly disappointed that he wouldn't get a chance to introduce himself. Still, he didn't show his disappointment, he just sighed and shook his head. "I'm not going to stop you. While I'm not particularly happy to see you two turn nuke-nin, what really bothers me is the stupid way you're handling this."
"I already told you, I'll bring Sasuke back for sure!" /Stupid perverted bastard…/
"That's not what I meant, although I stand by what I said before." At Sakura's confused look, he kept going. "What I'm saying is stupid this time is that, instead of taking the three year window that's been given to you as training time, you've decided to go attack Orochimaru while you're still weak. Even if you do convince that boy to come back, which will never happen, the three of you won't be able to get away from Orochimaru."
"But, Jiraiya-sama…" Sakura didn't know what three year window he was talking about, but she didn't think it was that stupid. "The sooner we get him back--"
"Wrong." /What is it with these kids and rushing, anyway?/ "He won't be any less willing to come back in three years than he is now, the only difference will be how strong you've gotten. But… I'm going to tell you what I told Naruto. Forget Sasuke. He left entirely on his own, and--"
"No!" She honestly didn't know which was worse: not getting Sasuke back, or remaining useless all her life. Still there was one thing she could never do, and that was giving up on chasing Sasuke. "Even if he did leave on his own… Sasuke is our friend, our teammate! We won't leave him behind, and we won't forget him! If we need to get stronger to save him, then we'll just train and get stronger!"
"Hmm…" /So they're both idiots, huh? Well, Tsunade, I guess the situation is different, but…/ "If you want to be idiots, I can't change that. Just tell me now whether you're leaving or not so I know what to tell Tsunade."
"We… We won't leave!" Naruto gave her a grin at that statement, but she didn't notice. "We'll stay here and get strong enough to save Sasuke! Right Naruto?"
"Right, Sakura-chan!" /I really hope there were no ANBU watching me tonight…/
"Naruto," Jiraiya couldn't believe how stupid they were being, "eventually you'll realize that I'm right and give up on Sasuke. Until then, I'll be around. As soon as you come to your senses, we can start training."
"Then I guess I'll just have to get stronger than you on my own, because there's no way I'll ever give up on Sasuke!" Naruto put on a nice big grin, and Jiraiya left. Sakura, more confused than she had probably ever been in her life, left knowing that somehow, in some way, she needed to become strong.
Naruto, who had snuck back into his hospital bed without bothering to replace his restraints, was given a rude awakening by Shizune. "NARUTO-KUN!" Opening his eyes, he could swear that there were flames in hers. "YOU SNUCK OUT AGAIN!" After a long, boring, and exceptionally loud speech about why he shouldn't leave the hospital until the medics tell him that his wounds are healed, Naruto was given another check-up. Finding nothing wrong with him, Shizune was forced to let him leave, though she was tempted to lie just to get back at him.
While Naruto was glad to leave the hospital, he knew it wouldn't change much. Training would, of course, be necessary, but without Jiraiya it just didn't seem like it would be enough. He decided to start in the obvious place and work from there.
"Oi! Kakashi-sensei! I need you to--"
"Sorry, Naruto." Kakashi had, of course, been told by Jiraiya not to train Naruto. He probably would have trained Naruto anyway, but Jiraiya was a legendary sannin, after all. Crossing one of the few living ninja that could actually beat him with little effort was not high on Kakashi's to do list. "I'm busy."
Seeing a slightly nervous look on Kakashi's, er, eye, Naruto realized exactly when he had heard that before. "You're training Sakura-chan, aren't you!"
"No, Naruto, I'm not training… Wait. Haven't you heard yet?"
"Heard what?"
"Sakura is going to be Tsunade-sama's apprentice. Tsunade-sama just agreed this morning."
"What! Baa-chan's going to train Sakura-chan?"
"Yup."
Naruto was a little too shocked to know exactly what his opinion was, let alone voice it. After thinking it over for about a minute, he decided it was a good thing. /She'll be that much stronger when we go to get Sasuke./ A big smile on his face, he asked, "so why can't you train me?"
"I'm too busy with missions right now, sorry." It wasn't a complete lie. He had only one mission, but watching over Naruto every day from noon to midnight didn't really prevent him from training the boy. At Naruto's look, he decided to give him a little help that Jiraiya couldn't detect. "Why don't you try asking Gai? I know he and Lee are maintaining a regular training schedule, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem for him to squeeze you in…"
"Super-brows? You think he'd actually train me?" Remembering how strong Lee had gotten under Gai, he knew that Gai's training would at least take care of his taijutsu needs. Still, it seemed a little odd that the jounin would accept an extra student no questions asked.
"If I know Gai at all, he'd be ecstatic to have you as a student. Next to Lee and Gai, you're probably the most willing of all Konoha ninja to work hard, and you never give up. That's exactly what he's looking for in students…" Kakashi smiled, which was visible only in his eye. "I'm sure he'd love to teach you."
After many screams of joy and thanks, Naruto was off to find Gai. Gai and Lee were right where Naruto had expected to find them: the training grounds. "Oi! Super-brows-sensei! Fuzzy-brows!"
While Lee happily greeted Naruto, Gai remembered the conversation he had had with Jiraiya. In particular, the threats came to mind. "Naruto, I know why you're here, and…" He couldn't bring himself to say it. The very idea of not training someone so youthful and passionate was everything that he was not, and he wasn't about to lie about his reasons either. With extreme difficulty, and a very deep sigh, Gai made his decision. "…I can't train you."
"What! Gai-sensei, surely Naruto-kun--"
"Lee!" At this, Lee went silent. "I wish that I could train you, Naruto, but I can't." This was the most serious Naruto had ever seen Gai, and it was starting to unnerve him. "I'm sure you want to know why, but… I can't tell you."
"Oh." /Does he hate me because of Kyuubi?/ "Is it because of…" Suddenly Naruto stopped, glanced at Lee, and put on a big grin. "That's okay, Super-brows! I'll just have to get stronger than you without your help!"
Gai, just figuring out what Naruto was going to ask before noticing Lee, didn't want the boy to have the wrong idea. Interrupting Lee's protests that Naruto was underestimating him, Gai said "Lee, that's enough. Naruto, about your question a moment ago… That isn't the reason."
Naruto, happy that Gai wouldn't refuse him because of Kyuubi, but angry that Gai still refused him for some reason that he wouldn't even say, left without saying anything. He had really liked the idea of training with Gai, since one of his main weaknesses was his speed, but he got over it quickly enough.
/I only know two other jounin sensei… If I ask Asuma-sensei, I might have to deal with Ino, so I should probably start with Kurenai-sensei./
Twenty minutes later, Naruto managed to find Kurenai, along with her team, in one of the last places he would have ever expected them: training area eight. Seriously, he could understand Lee and Gai training at eight o'clock in the morning, but these three? Unfortunately, Hinata, Kiba, and Shino had been sparring, and Naruto's sudden appearance within byakugan's range caused Hinata a temporary lapse in awareness. Kiba, the idiot that he was, took advantage of this blunder in a way that knocked Hinata unconscious.
Naruto saw it, but chose to ignore it, since he really had no need to see Hinata anyway. "Kurenai-sensei! I need to talk to you for a second!"
This came as something of a shock to the crimson-eyed woman, who could think of no reason that Naruto would want to talk to her. "Me?"
"Yeah! I need you to help train me!"
"Train you? Shouldn't Kakashi handle that?" Jiraiya's words were flashing through her mind, and she realized that he must have threatened just about every jounin that Naruto had ever met.
"He says he's 'busy.' I asked Gai-sensei too, but… Anyway, I need someone to train me! Could you pl--"
"Idiot!" It was Kiba. "She has her own team to train, she can't train you too!"
"Kiba!" Although she felt it was a valid point, it wasn't one she was willing to use. If anyone was priority, it was Naruto. Still, she couldn't train him against Jiraiya's wishes, it would have been too dangerous. "Naruto, I'm sorry, but I can't train you." His face fell, and Kiba's went from a frown to a look of pure ecstasy. "It's just that… uh… Why don't you ask Asuma?"
Apparently not noticing the fact that she didn't explain herself in any way, Naruto just nodded and ran off. Five minutes later, he was exactly where he knew he would find Asuma: Chouji's favorite barbecue restaurant. He walked up to the table, and was about to ask Asuma the question even though he knew the answer, but was interrupted by Ino. "What are you doing here, Naruto?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean exactly what I asked! What are you doing here?"
"I would have told you by now if you would shut up for a few seconds!"
"What did you say! Don't just interrupt our team breakfast and tell me to shut up!"
"I didn't interrupt your team breakfast! You yelled at me!"
"But you--"
"Would you two please be quiet? You're being too troublesome…" Shikamaru was convinced that eight in the morning was too early to be fighting in a restaurant.
"Naruto, what did you want?" Asuma had a bad feeling about Naruto's presence. Remembering what Jiraiya had said to him, he almost thought that Naruto wanted training, before realizing how ludicrous the idea was.
"Asuma-sensei, I actually wanted to ask you… Would you please train me?"
Asuma dropped his meat, his chopsticks, and his jaw. He had to have been Naruto's last resort, considering that not only did his team not get along with Naruto, but they weren't exactly known for being well trained. /Did Jiraiya threaten everyone in the village or something?/ Suddenly jolted back into reality by his students calling his name, Asuma looked down to see that Chouji had taken his meat.
"Sorry, Naruto, but no."
"What! Why not?"
"I… I'm busy."
"Kakashi-sensei already used that one."
"I… can't tell you why."
"Gai-sensei…"
"Why don't you ask--"
"Kurenai sensei…"
"Uh… I'm sure that Tsunade-sama could--"
"Just tell me why!" At this point, Asuma's team was getting a little curious, too. It was one thing for Asuma to just say no, but to refuse to give the reason showed that it was either something stupid or something serious. "I don't care what the reason is, I just want to know!"
"…Tsunade-sama could probably find someone to teach you…"
Many frustrated yells later, Naruto left the restaurant to confront Tsunade. He hoped that she would at least be able to force someone to train him. She almost blew him off before remembering how overly-bitter Jiraiya had been, and said she'd have someone meet him at Ichiraku's for lunch.
As he finished his twelfth bowl of ramen, Naruto heard his name from behind him. "Naruto-kun?"
"Shizune-nee-chan? You're going to train me?" As far as Naruto knew, his chakra control was too poor to be a medic-nin.
"No…" /Tsunade-sama, you coward!/ "I'm here to tell you that… no one will train you."
"Eh?" It took Naruto a few moments to process that statement. Tsunade, the Hokage, could not find him a teacher. Not one jounin was willing to train him, a new low. When he finally realized that his face fell. "So… that's it, then."
Shizune had never known Naruto to look so weak and pitiful. "Naruto-kun…"
Suddenly his head lifted, his face became an enormous grin, and he was laughing. "I guess that means I'll just have to get stronger on my own! Who needs a sensei when they have my raw talent?" Shizune found herself smiling a bit, even if she knew it was a bluff. "So, Shizune-chan, do you want some ramen? I was just about to order some more, so I could get you some if you want."
Looking at his stack of bowls, she almost fainted. /Where does he put it all?/ "Um… sure, Naruto-kun." She wasn't exactly eager to get back while Tsunade was still angry anyway.
A/N: I don't usually write fiction, and this is my first fan fiction, so please judge it accordingly. Sorry that this chapter's so short, but I didn't want to get into Naruto's training until the next chapter. Future chapters will be significantly longer, I promise. Also, you know what's annoying? Apparently you can't have a question mark followed by an exclamation point on this site... Anyway, please review!