IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY CURSING OR OBSCENITIES THAT COULD JEOPARDIZE YOUR SANITY/VIRGINITY: DO NOT READ THIS BIO!!

Name: Stavi (It's not my real name, by the way)

I love random PMs and good Ole' encouragement PMs, they help me update sooner. : 3

My Progress: More Than Guests chapter 3, HSaDwETyD 3, BatBG 2, RwatCotS 3 and an ominous amount of unstarted fics floating in my 'To do list'

Planned Stroies: These are stories that I'm planning on writing and you can vote for which one I start first in the poll.

Dichotomous Love: A story of love, in a second person using a dichotomous system with the chapters. It'll be less vague when I get to work on it. :P
Can't Hide in the Dark: Naruto is blind but still attends a normal school for the fact that he can see with auras. He is new to the Sophomore class and doesn't want to sit next to the "ugly bastard" his teacher recommends. Let's just say that Sasuke doesn't appreciate this. He also doesn't appreciate the boy turning half the male population of the school gay.
The Day of Silence: The day of silence is a GLBT pride day sort of thing where, in order to support the cause, you aren’t allowed to speak. Well, Naruto decides to participate and a certain raven haired student does not enjoy not hearing the blonde’s voice. Let’s just say that Sasuke will go to any lengths in order to get Naruto to talk… or shall I say, Scream?
During Negotiations: The war was over and the battle was long and hard and finally the two overcame it all. As the peace treaty was being signed, Sasuke found that he did not like the terms at all. Lemon. Not as serious as it sounds. It's about sex and what Naruto wants afterward.
Just Trying it Out: Sasuke and Naruto are out to buy a new mattress for their little abode of love making. All Sasuke wants to do is try it out before buying it – but what does that truly entail?
Pain in the Neck: Naruto, for his whole life, has been looking at the ground and by now, he can manage doing many things without looking up. No one has ever seen his face. However, now, he has a bit of a challenge on his hands as a student named Sasuke is doing everything in his power to make the blue-eyed boy look up.
King Solomon's Dobe Case: Sasuke, Gaara and Neji fight over Naruto on a daily basis ever since the start of elementary school. It was only at the beginning of high school that he even started to notice. Now he’s just sick of it in Junior year. What does he have to do? Split himself into three pieces?! Shikamaru is King Solomon

Places you can find me: I have a DeviantArt account which is Stavi also. On Myspace: http:///splendifulous feel free to add me or send a message. (Aiko Kohanako: "Myspace is a figment of your imagination!" Stavi: "My imagination has a pretty big network then!") Secret of the Solstice as: Ratio, Myrio, Teller or Got Milk?. Ratio is my main though.

My Wife: Yes, I have a wife. Yes, I am a girl. Yes, she's a girl. Yes, I have a son. Yes, we are both straight as arrows. My wife's name is Aiko Kohanako (on here) or DS as I calls her and we are very much in straight, heterosexual love. We have a son named Megatron who I call Megan when I'm drunk and Meg when I'm lazy. If you have a problem with my spousal arrangements, stuff it. Love you, babe! (btw, we now have TWO more kids Chika/Mathew and Usagi/Nagasaki - the second names after the forward slash are what I call them and the first names before the forward slash are their actual names)

Dedications: My best friend Mollie is my inspiration and she's the one who intoduced me to fanfictions and also to fanfiction.net. So I dedicate all my writings to her. She's also the reason I became a yaoi fan. DS is my wife and she (ocassionally) pushes me to update. I don't like to let her down even though I haven't updated in months. Really though, right now, she's the only thing that's stopping me from never writting yaoi again. So if you like my stuff, you should thank her.

Editor: OMG, I love my new editor, MayIFall, she's sooooo awesome. Bow to her! All of you!! She really is amazing and without her, I doubt you'd be able to read half the things that I write. lol.

I love all yaoi pairings (With a few, very few exceptions). I like EveryoneXNaru as long as Sasuke isn't mentioned at all during the entire story. I hate SasUKE stories unless its with Itachi (dodges rocks thrown from Anti-Uchihacest fan) (A minor exception is NaruSasu... But only SOMETIMES!). I also dislike SasuGirl unless it's Sakura or Ino. I like Ino and Sakura when they're yaoi fans (they're awesome that way). I'm not very fond of yuri, but I'll include it if its a request.

On Hold: Living in the Mafia, The Connection and More Than Guests. Have no fear, I will update these stories someday. I haven't given up on them.

Recommended authors/authoresses for SasuNaru fans:
darkalbino
theallpowerfulme
michelerene
c7bi-kyuubi
trulywicked

These guys are my author-idols and I hope to write as well as them some day (twinkley eyes)

Things that you'll find in my more recent stories: I have a tendency now to like including things that aren't normally in stories. For instance; Sasuke being the poor unfortunate loner with no job in stead of Naruto (Beauty and the Bodyguard), Naruto saying "I hate you" to Sasuke after "lemon" instead of the usual '"I love you, Sasuke-teme" "I love you too, Naruto-dobe" and they both fell asleep with smile on their faces' (Rock with all the Colors of the Stage), ItaHaku, 'nough said (RwatCoS and More Than Guests). There is more to come with the surprise that I have for you all.

The List: Something about Icecream, Character Death, A lemon, A multi-chapter Story, An AU, A Naughty nurse, Poetry, A Drabble, Kinky Sex, A High School fic, Truth or Dare, A bet where there's ownership of someone plus a kinky outfit, Karaoke, An MPREG, Animal Transformation. Bolded are ones that I've already done

Humorous things that Stavi has said:
"Old style Japanese toilets are like Porta-Johns that are setting you up for failure." (Old Style Japanese toilets are those archaic holes in the ground that people expect you to piss in)

"I can imagine Batman right when he orgasms screaming, 'Na-na-na-na-na-na Batman!'"

Me: Chels, what do you think Moses would be like if he went to high school?
Chelsea: What the hell brought that on all of a sudden?
Me: Well, I was thinking, "If I were Moses, I sure as hell wouldn't be standing in this 'longer than a Macy's Day Float Parade' lunch line. I'd be like, 'And then Stavi commanded the waters to part!'" Moses would be a kick ass friend to have.
Chelsea: You're some kind of special
Me: (ignore) And then at the end of class I'd be like, "LET MY PEOPLE GO!"

"When life gives you lemons, praise to Jesus it's not het and read along with the other yaoi fangirls~!!"

Me: Why the hell did you laugh at that? It wasn't funny.
Mollie: It was funny to me! (I thought she said 'we')
Me: So what? Not only are you grammatically incorrect but you're schizophrenic too now?

Me: Alright! Back to my Psych Homework
DS: I'm sure
Me: If by Psych, I mean Sasu and by Homework, I mean Naru.
DS: lmao
Me: Now back to Psych screwing up Psych/Homeworks relationship and Homework inevitably fixing it in the end.

"Some people look at lemon and ask 'why' I look at lemon and ask 'where's the beef'?" jk I ask 'why not more?'

Quotes from other Fanfictions:

“Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill a Mockingbird" and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin... but what good does that do me now?”

Thank you to reviewers and people who fav and alert, it let's me know that there are people out there who like to read my stuff.