Title: Hot in Here

Rating: M...NC-17...somewhere around there XP

Author: darkalbino, illi, me (me, myself and I)

Dedicated To: elegentmess

so i planned this thing over a fucking year ago, and here it is finally in fruition, thanks to elegentmess and her "Crime and Punishment" story, which so totally got me "in the mood" XD I demand that you go read it!

Summary: One thing hotter than a man in uniform? Well hell, I think TWO men WITHOUT uniform kinda takes the cake. SasuNaru, lemon, oneshot.

Warnings: if you've read this far...then I doubt warnings are gonna stop you...

Disclaimer: officer:darkalbino, did you kidnap the majority of the male Naruto characters to force them into sex slavery? -looks pointedly at large, squirming bag at darkalbino's feet-

darkalbino: uhh... -slowly slides bag behind her with foot- Nooooo...

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KONOHA FIRE STATION

Sasuke Uchiha felt his lips curl into a lazy smirk as he read the words embedded into the building before him. It was fairly smaller than an average fire station, as it only responded to local fires. The door to the entrance of the building was to his right, but he actually intended to walk right through the engine garage door, which was wide open. His head was tilted back slightly, and he shifted his weight on his feet as he readied himself to enter the station.

But before he had a chance to take one step, a screeched "Officer!" pierced his senses, nearly making him stumble. Nearly. Because Uchihas, they do not stumble.

Sasuke clenched his teeth and turned his attention to the street, where a young woman with alarmingly bright pink hair was running up to him. He rolled his eyes when she caught him, the panic that had held her voice earlier betrayed by the flirty smile she was presenting for him, "Oh officer please! Won't you help?"

Sasuke clicked his tongue, gaze darting back to the fire station for a moment before going back to the woman with a glare. He had very important matters to attend to in that station and this fumbling pink female was eating his time, which he had just decided, he would not waste on her. "I'm not an officer." he clipped.

The woman tilted her head and eyed him up and down, "But...your uniform."

Sasuke blinked and looked down himself.

The pale man was dressed in a standard, dark blue cop uniform. Complete with a "Konoha Law Enforcement" patch on his shoulder, his dark blue hat, and his little black belt filled with kink toy- I mean...important...police...things. Such as handcuffs, for catching the bad guys (and, if imagination was used, tying up a squirming boyfriend) and a baton, for beating the bastards who try to run (or, you know, for shoving up a blonde's ass...no blonde in particular of course...cough...), and of course, a service pistol for shooting the assholes who run and shoot back (or forcing Naru- er -the blonde, the totally unfamiliar and unknown blonde who is not Naruto, to get on all fours for Sasuke).

It was, indeed, a cop uniform.

Damn.

Sasuke snorted and scowled at the annoyingly observant pink (and currently in his mind) bitch, "What do you need?" he spat in a poorly veiled I-am-going-to-fucking-kill-you-if-you-don't-turn-and-walk-now manner.

The woman seemed a tad disoriented after Sasuke's response, "Uh...well..." her green gaze flickered quickly from left to right, "um...I..." they brightened as she thought of something, "My purse was stolen!"

A fine brow went up, "Was it now?"

She nodded quickly, "Yes! By a man with dark hair and-and dark eyes and- uh -his skin! It was pale and he was dressed in blue!"

Sasuke blinked down at her, "Ma'am...you just described me."

A bright flush flooded her cheeks as she realized her mistake, "Uhhh..."

Sasuke frowned at her, "Honestly, if you're going to come over here and try to catch my attention, at least come up with a plausible lie. You insult me with your frivolous and pathetic attempt at deception. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a firefighter to fuck."

"What?"

Sasuke snarled and whipped out his gun, "A FIREFIGHTER to FUCK!" he yelled, pointing the weapon at her feet, but the woman was already running down the street screaming the moment he'd pulled the gun out.

Sasuke curled his lip at her and tucked his weapon away, turning back to the station where a full out grin settled on his features as he finally stepped forward until he was inside.

The officer placed a hand on his hip as he surveyed the area. To his left, there were uniforms that hung on a rack beside the large, red fire engine, which he was behind. The fire pole was a few feet in front of him, and there was a staircase to his right that led to the beds upstairs, where his dobe had opted to stay instead of coming home for the past two days.

Two. Days.

Two days without the dobe equals two days that were, for Sasuke anyway, less bright, and, more importantly, sex-free. Who the hell did that moron think he was? Depriving Sasuke of a sweet tan ass to pound hourly- er -nightly...often.

Sasuke lifted his arm to glance at the watch on his wrist, 6:50 am. "Still sleeping." he murmured, knowing his blonde like the back of his hand...or the blonde's ass, Sasuke was very acquainted with that too.

He looked to his side at the staircase, "Suppose I have to wake him then." Sasuke stared at the steps for a few more moments before cupping his hands around his mouth and quickly turning his attention to the fire pole, then promptly bellowed out, "FIRE! FIRE!"

In less than five seconds, a flustered blonde came sliding down the pole wearing a tight, black T-shirt, yellow pants and a black fire helmet. He didn't even cast Sasuke a spare glance as he rushed past him to get the rest of his uniform that was on the racks, but his run was cut short as Sasuke reached out when the other man went past him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, jerking him back.

Naruto made a startled noise and struggled from the grip, "LET GO SASUKE! THERE'S A FIRE!" He paused, bright blue eyes flying to the raven male, "Sasuke?" he chirped curiously, realizing what he had just said, "What the hell are you doing here?" His orbs widened, "No! Never mind that! Fire! There's a fire-"

"There's no fire dobe." Sasuke assured calmly, cutting the other off.

"Huh?" Naruto tilted his head, "But...but I heard-"

"That was me, usuratonkachi."

Naruto gave him a baffled stare before suddenly turning red in anger, "What the FUCK teme! You can't mess around with shit like that! Fires are serious business Sasuke!"

Sasuke's hand shot up from the man's collar to the side of his neck, gripping it hard and tugging him closer, "Yes, that would seem to be that case. Considering I haven't seen you for two days because of it."

Naruto's eyes narrowed in confusion for a moment before brightening along with a blinding smile, "Awww, is that your bastard way of saying you missed me?"

Sasuke's lips quirked. He walked forward, forcing Naruto to step backward along with him until he pushed the blonde against the fire pole, "There are things I like to do that have been denied to me because of your absence." he said finally.

Naruto cocked an eyebrow with a cheeky grin, "Yeah? And what kinds of things do bastards like to do?"

Sasuke shrugged, "You know, bastard things," his hand slid down the other's body to grab at his hip, jerking it toward him, "like fucking dobes for instance."

Naruto chuckled and reached up to the back of Sasuke's neck, pulling him down slightly and slanting their mouths in a kiss, his helmet tilting back at the contact.

Sasuke moaned softly and slid his tongue out, but the soft press was broken before he got a chance to do anything with the muscle. Naruto pulled back and patted the Uchiha on the cheek, "We're not fucking in a fire station Sasuke." he stated with a smile, sounding very much like a mother softly scolding her child.

Sasuke gave the other male an astonished look as Naruto moved himself from his boyfriend's hold. How dare that baka tell him where they won't fuck! Sasuke would damn well screw him on fucking swingset if he felt like it!

The older male grabbed the blonde's wrist before he got too far and yanked him back, then grabbed the other wrist and pulled them both over the smaller man's head, crossing them over the pole and diving in to catch Naruto's mouth with his own.

This time he did not waste a second shoving his tongue between those lush lips, forcing it under Naruto's in a coax to get the other to participate.

Naruto's gaze clouded over, his tongue, hot and wet, mingling with Sasuke's. He whined quietly when Sasuke suddenly broke the kiss and moved one hand down, leaving the other one to keep Naruto's wrists in their place. "Now you listen here dobe," he ordered, voice breathy and warm as it fanned over the blonde, "I don't take well to being away from you, especially for such a long period of time-"

Naruto's hazy eyes went half-lidded with a disbelieving stare, "Two days?"

"Shut it." Sasuke growled, "Two hours has me craving you already, if we didn't need jobs to live, I'd stay locked up with you in the fucking house for the rest of our natural lives."

Naruto was contemplating whether that would be a good thing or not when he suddenly realized that his wrists felt much heavier than they did a moment ago. He blinked and looked up, causing his helmet to tilt back further, and saw his wrists trapped in handcuffs that had been looped around the fire pole.

Naruto's jaw dropped and his head shot back down to look at the cop, azure eyes blazing as the helmet fell back into place, "You fuckwad! When the hell did you-" his words died off when he saw that Sasuke was already unbuckling his pants, dropping them to the floor to reveal black boxers underneath. Naruto gulped, "Sasuke don't strip!" he looked past Sasuke, beyond the fire engine, which was the only thing shielding them from outside as the garage doors were wide open. Somebody could walk right in and see the bastard's- his bastard's mind you -sculpted, beautiful body. "Someone's gonna see us!" he cried.

"I'm an exhibitionist." Sasuke replied, as if this fact were blatantly obvious, and moved closer to the blonde while slipping his boxers off.

Naruto's lip came out in a furiously adorable pout, "But-but! Someone's gonna see you!" he whined, his hands jerking against the cuffs so they clinked on the pole.

"My my, is that possessiveness I hear in your voice, Uzumaki?" Sasuke smirked, clearly pleased.

Naruto's brow bunched closely, his lips still pursed, "What if there's someone upstairs?!" he yelled, apparently not happy about the possibility of another man seeing his nearly nude boyfriend.

Sasuke grabbed the hem of Naruto's pants and tugged him forward so he arched away from the pole, then brought his face nose-to-nose with the younger male, "Is there someone else upstairs?" he questioned.

Naruto's face flamed, "Well...no, but if there was-"

"Good." Sasuke clipped, popping the button on Naruto's pants with his thumb, "Because I'm not too sure I'm comfortable with you sleeping in the same room as another man."

The blonde's lips pulled down into a small frown, "Sasuke, I wouldn't even look at another-"

"Not what you'd do dobe." Sasuke assured, shoving down the other's pants down with a grin, "I'm worried about what he'd do to you."

Naruto watched with a light flush as Sasuke slowly got to his knees, both of them still wearing their tops though their bottom halves were utterly bare.

Sasuke smirked, eyeing the other's gradually hardening cock, "I mean, c'mon baby," he earned a surprised yelp as he suddenly spun Naruto around and pushed his frontside into the pole, his arms twisted uncomfortably, "just look at this round," he cupped tan globes in his fingers, kneading the flesh, "tight" he squeezed, emitting a soft groan, "tempting ass." He used his thumbs to pull it apart, revealing that pink, puckered hole, "What sane man wouldn't want to ram himself inside of it?"

Naruto could feel his breaths coming shorter, his fingers clenched into fists as desire threatened to cloak his morals, "Sasuke," he pleaded, "we really shouldn't-" the words cut off in a sharp gasp as Sasuke quickly ran his tongue up the crack, then pressed Naruto further into the pole. "Just because we shouldn't do something doesn't mean we can't." he rebutted.

Whatever response Naruto had planned melted into an appreciative moan as Sasuke's moist tongue slid into the blonde's tight heat. He arched at the feel of the muscle stroking and laving along the hot passage, Sasuke's blue hat skimming against the flesh above it. His erection pressed against the cool metal of the fire pole as his nails dug into his palms, his full bottom lip caught between white teeth as he attempted to bite down his moans. The black shirt that hugged his torso suddenly felt incredibly bothersome as his body responded heatedly to Sasuke's touch.

Sasuke groaned in his throat at the taste of his dobe, working his tongue in small circles within him before pulling it out and dipping it back in repeatedly. He reached around and pressed his fingertips into the taut muscles of Naruto's stomach, flexing and arching against him, the blonde's engorged member burning at the contact. His own penis swelled rapidly between his legs, mushroom head an angry red color as it yearned to replace Sasuke's tongue with something far more pleasurable.

Naruto whined and stuck his ass out further, his blood boiling as his helmet made a clacking noise when he banged his head against the pole, "Bastard" he rasped, "Just...God, just...more!" he cried quickly through gritted teeth.

His plea was heeded as Sasuke abruptly stood up and spun the other back around, hooking his arms under Naruto's knees and desperately wrapping them around his waist, then moved his hands to cradle the other man's ass. He glanced up and his breath caught.

Naruto's features were pleasantly reddened, the black helmet and shirt that he still wore making quite an erotic sight as azure eyes remained fixed on Sasuke's dick, stare half expectant and half urgent, his breathing shallow and heavy.

Sasuke's lips worked into a slow grin, "Just look at you." he breathed, "Who else can put that fucking beautiful expression on your face but me?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Can you get off your cockiness for a minute and put more attention on your cock?" he bit in a rushed tone, bucking his hips encouragingly.

The officer chuckled and jerked his hands up to better position the blonde, filling his hole with the tip of his penis, "Pushy, huh dobe? Just shows how much you love to ride long. hard. red-"

Naruto blushed brilliantly, "Sasuke!"

"Fire trucks." Sasuke finished with a taunting smirk, "Jeez dobe, get your mind out of the gutter."

"TEME! You'd have to get your whole fucking head out of there fir- FUCK!" he cursed as Sasuke pushed inside of him, his preparation not having been too thorough, fingers curling around the pole above him as he let out a low groan of pained pleasure.

Sasuke bit his lip as he filled the blonde, always astounded by the how hot, how fucking tight he was, no matter how many times they fucked. Even more so after not doing it for two whole days. How the hell did Sasuke survive without this for over forty eight hours?

Naruto's mouth had dropped open as he began panting, his erection thick and dripping pre-cum on his shirt. But he couldn't care less about the stains right now, because Sasuke had just begun thrusting shallowly, providing a spectacular distraction. He closed his eyes and raised his hips, the initial discomfort fading quickly as he met Sasuke's pushes with his own.

The Uchiha stared down at their point of connection, licking his lips as he watched his dick disappear and reappear over and over within Naruto's heated channel, increasing in speed and power. His blue shirt was plastered to his body with sweat, and he could hear Naruto's helmet and cuffs clinking and clacking against the fire pole as they moved, desperately fucking each other.

Naruto's toes curled, his prostate struck dead on again and again, his upper body straining to hold himself as he tightened his legs around Sasuke, "Ahn - aah...yes!" The sound of skin smacking skin filled the firehouse, both men nearing their climax.

Sasuke's thrusts started coming faster, the passage slicked with semen. His head fell back with a loud moan.

Naruto felt a series of ripples flash across his stomach, and he clenched himself around Sasuke's dick, gasping and crying out, "Oh God - Sas...ah, I'm gonna-"

"Gonna what baby?" Sasuke grunted, plunging deeper than before to strike mercilessly at that little bundle of nerves, "Tell me what you're gonna do." He suddenly dropped his hold, reaching forward quickly to wrap his hands around the pole and jerked himself closer to smash against the other man. Sasuke locked gazes with him, tan legs still securely wrapped around him, he panted into Naruto's mouth, "Tell me what I'm gonna make you do, Naruto." he ordered in a fierce whisper, hips bucking furiously.

Naruto's answer came in a sharp cry, spurts of semen shooting from his cock and onto themselves. He emitted a low whine as he legs gave out and slipped away from his lover, only to be caught by Sasuke's hands as the elder male pressed their mouths in a kiss and released inside of him.

After a few moments, Sasuke's hold became shaky and he broke the kiss with a soft "smack", staring down at the blonde with a satisfied look, "Can you stand?" he asked quietly.

Naruto blinked away his pleasure haze gradually, then glared at the other, "Asshole, of course I can stand!" he somewhat kicked at Sasuke until the chuckling raven let him go, gently propping him on the floor.

When Naruto's feet touched ground, a dull ache ran up his spine, making him wince slightly. He snorted and looked up, but was caught off guard when Sasuke took his lips again in another kiss, pushing the black helmet back with his forehead and cupping the blonde's face.

Naruto made and irked noise but kissed back nonetheless, vaguely registering Sasuke's seed running down his legs.

Sasuke massaged Naruto's mouth with his own for a few seconds and pulled away again, "God I love you." he murmured.

Naruto rolled his eyes and grinned, "Yeah yeah, love me, can't live without me, I get it bastard." He leaned forward and pecked the other's mouth, "Me too. Now," he frowned, "take. these fucking. handcuffs. off."

"Alright usuratonkachi, alright." Sasuke looked about them for a moment, spotting his pants and snatching them off the floor before digging into a pocket and pulling out a small key. He reached up and unlocked the cuffs, catching them with his free hand and bringing both down while Naruto nursed his left wrist with his fingers. Sasuke smiled down at the smaller male, "And now...we go home."

Blue eyes flew up, "Home?" he blinked and shook his head with a small frown, "I have work, you douche, I'm not going home."

Sasuke began pulling his pants back on, unhooking his baton and holding it his hand as he spoke to the blonde, "Yes, we are. We very well can't go back to work with cum stains all over our uniforms." he pointed out.

Naruto scoffed, "So what, you want to go home so we can make more?"

Sasuke smirked, "Oh good, so I don't have to explain it to you...or trick you."

Naruto pouted and clenched his fists, "Or tie me up, jackass."

Sasuke chuckled and pulled his belt strap through the buckle, "And I also think we should take a couple of days off."

Naruto's eyes widened slightly, "What? Why?"

Sasuke swung his baton around a finger, staring down at the blonde, "People are getting a bit too cozy with you at work, dobe. Why, just last week, there was another man in your arms."

The blonde tilted his head, ".....What?" His eyes narrowed with confusion before recognition and disbelief crossed his features, "The guy I carried out of a burning house? He was unconscious you jealous asshole!"

Sasuke crossed his arms, "With his face in your neck-"

"He was UNCONSCIOUS!"

Sasuke held one hand palm up in the air, "I was about ready to shoot his ass-"

"HE WAS FUCKING UNCONSCI-"

Cough.

Both men paused at the noise, as it had come from neither of them. They turned their heads to the side, spotting a young brunette boy with a scarf wrapped about his neck, standing by the fire engine, a clipboard in hand, and looking red enough to make a tomato question its own color. "Um..." he stammered, obviously not having planned on attracting attention, "I'm here...for the intern...ship?"

Naruto stared speechless at the boy, while Sasuke promptly raised a brow and scowled, "How long have you been standing there?" he questioned sharply.

The boy's flush deepened, "Uh...lo-long enough." His eyes flickered to the still half naked blonde, staring, though Naruto did not move one inch and was becoming increasingly flustered himself.

Sasuke's gaze darted from the boy to Naruto and to the boy again, suddenly turning red with rage, "Stop looking at my dobe you little brat!" Arm rearing back in a threatening manner with the baton, he lurched for the brunette.

"SASUKE!!" Naruto snapped out of his daze and latched onto to his overly possessive boyfriend, holding him back.

But Konohamaru had dropped his board and was currently running (and screaming) for his now scarred life.

He never came within 500 feet of another fire station again.

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Sasuke makes a terrible, terrible police officer; more people run from him than ask for help XD

hope everyone enjoyed this...randomness XP i just had to do one with them in uniforms! -drools-

fanart? please? anyone? i'm not above begging T.T

another thanks to elegentmess X3 you rock my socks, hard.

Next thing I'll have out is Chapter 14 of "Love Bites", "Mad Love", although I have no idea when. Pray for me -_-;

til next time, kisses for all n.n

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEME (Ashi-Eiketsu)!! 8D now you don't have to sneak into R movies anymore! XD I LUB JOO!!!