Chapter One – Paid For a Dream

Author's Notes: I know I'm supposed to be working on my other fictions, I know I know. I get it (I'm also supposed to be cleaning my house…). But I had this idea in my head and I couldn't get it out. I just couldn't. So, here we go…yet again.

Warnings: Well…there is obviously going to be boy/boy in my fiction. I have that tendency. So sorry. I have this thing for foul language. And OOCness is my best friend. I also have a not-so-secret affair with spelling errors and grammar mistakes. Bask in my screw-ups.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. At all. What a fucking shock.

Rating: I rate by the chapters as a sweet little common courtesy that most don't deserve.
– This chapter: K+ because I have a foul mouth. Dear crackers.

Chapter One – Paid For a Dream

"You know Uchiha, most people go out on their night off."

A midnight gaze came to land on the tall man before him. Tall and bored looking, his brunette ponytail high on his head.

"You know Nara, I don't see you walking out the fucking door!" The other male shot back.

The man laughed, walking the length of the couch that his roommate was sitting on, and deciding to occupy the other end.

"Yeah Sasuke, but you were always special."

Sasuke turned his head towards the other male, wisps of long raven blue-black bangs smacking at his face at the quick ministration, "Don't you have something else to do, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru smiled lightly towards the television, settling down into the couch, and propping his feet up onto the coffee table that sat conveniently in front of them.

"Do I ever?"

"Cloud watching."

"It's nine at night." Shikamaru made to grab at the remote, but Sasuke snapped out a punch to his arm.

"Go bug Chouji."

"Out of town."

Sasuke sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and reaching one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, "Then why me?"

Shikamaru smiled, "Because you're not that troublesome. You're more boring than anything else, really."

Sasuke shot the other a glare before he turned back to his show, which really wasn't anything special. He just turned the television on for comfort, a background noise. It turned out he turned it on to some cheesy reality show with a bunch of poor, pathetic women who were fighting for the 'love' of some asshole.

God he needed to get out more.

"You need to get out more," Shikamaru commented dryly as he made a face towards the television.

"Anything else?" Sasuke bit out.

"Get a woman. Maybe you won't be such a prick."

"I hate you, so much." Sasuke mumbled dryly.

"Awe, gee, thanks. Love you too."

They didn't really address it that much after that.

Sasuke getting out much, or the male getting a woman.

The two men went about their lives like any other twenty-one-year-old males. They went to school when classes called for it, went to work when the rest of the free time was available, and avoided each other the rest of the time.

The avoiding was mostly on Sasuke's part.

Shikamaru had a tendency to bring friends of theirs over from school. The group usually hanging out and having a few drinks and ordering a pizza and talking about mindless nonsense all night till they all fell asleep. So Sasuke usually made up one excuse or anther to just stay in his room if the time arouse that he was stuck at home with all of them.

Until that very fateful - or what he recalled as fatal – day occurred.

"Hey! Uchiha! What's up, working whore."

Sasuke sighed as he opened the door to his apartment, not even a full step in, and already hearing the calls from his friends that he wanted to kick in the face.

"Kiba, can't you choke on something and die already?" Sasuke slung his tie over the back of the unoccupied recliner. The recliner that didn't match either couches. The two couches that didn't match each other.

The young man scoffed, "Here I am, trying to plan something for your birthday-"

"I'll kill you…"

"And you have the audacity to want me to die." The young man called from the floor, a piece of pizza swinging wildly in his hands, and a wolfish grin spread across his face.

Another male reached over a ruffled his short, butchered brunette hair, "It's nothing big deal Sasuke, don't worry your blood pressure over it."

"Chouji, don't you start too."

The chubby male grinned, his plumed cheeks pulling up and crinkling his eyes, "It's so fun."

Sasuke's eyes landed on a pair of sunglasses and a hooded head, "And Shino, can you stop looking like a common thug when you leave. You scare the hell out of our neighbors. It's ten o'clock at night."

"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered.

"Give me one more fucking 'troublesome' and you'll see how troublesome I can be," Sasuke shot to his roommate.

"I was just commenting," Shikamaru started, "on how you don't even know what we got you for your birthday."

Sasuke was halfway to the kitchen, intent on getting something to drink and praying they had something less greasy than what Kiba was eating. It tasted good, but it just made him want to vomit thirty minutes later.

"Alright, fine, I'll bite. What?"

The room broke out in dark, broken chuckles that actually gave the brave and fearless Uchiha chills.

Shikamaru waved him forward, "Come on."

"Nope."

"You need to see the pamphlet."

Sasuke's mood somewhat brightened. He figured that his somewhat asshole friends just might have gotten him something worthwhile. Maybe a trip away from this dump. Anywhere was better than here.

The raven took a few daring steps forward, hurtling the couch and flopping down next to his roommate who smiled at him.

Sasuke hated that smile.

It was a smile that said 'I know something you don't' and 'you're going to murder me in my sleep' and just perhaps 'God help you'.

"What did you do?" Sasuke finally asked in a surrendering tone.

Laughs popped in the room, sounding to Sasuke, like gunshots.

"Take a look."

The male grabbed the folded paper from the middle of the table, obviously the center of attention, before setting it into a waiting pale hand with a chuckle.

Sasuke's eyes fell on the front and instantly, if at all possible, he paled.

Two girls, beautiful beyond comparison, stood there posing.

In all their naked glory.

"I swear if you bought me a stripper I will kill you…" The man ground out through clenched teeth.

Kiba sputtered through a laugh, "Even better, just read-"

"If you bought me a 'high-class' prostitute, I'll slit your fucking throat."

The room rang out in a chores of loud glorious laughter, that had Sasuke thinking he was somewhere close.

Sasuke opened the pamphlet and instantly wondered how quickly he could kill himself.

Really, a paper cut down his wrist could work if he went over it enough.

The words of the bright and bold headliner made Sasuke feel like someone just kicked him in the gut

"Did you assholes really do this?" Sasuke asked in a dead tone, glaring at the paper.

It would catch on fire if he stared at it long enough.

It just had too.

Kiba clapped him on the back, "Yes, we did. And you, good sir, are going to enjoy it."

Sasuke glared, "Kiba…you rented a woman and I'm supposed to enjoy that? Did the thought of prior use come into thought?"

Shikamaru smiled as his eyes focused on nothing, "She does housework. No cleaning for a whole month."

Many things could grind on Sasuke's nerves.

Many things.

But today, his 'friends' decided to test how far they could push him.

Today was the day they found out Uchiha's don't take certain things to lightly.

"So let me get this fucking shit right, Nara. You rented me a bitch for a fucking month so your lazy ass doesn't have to lift a fucking finger around this damned place…LIKE USUAL!?"

The other man smiled gently, "Yes, a little bit."

"I'll fucking kill you." Sasuke ground out through clenched teeth before the rest of the group held him back when he tried to pounce.

"Hear us out, Uchiha."

"Fuck you, Chouji!"

Shikamaru laughed when he stood from the couch, "Isn't he cute when he's angry?"

Sasuke jolted under the grasps of his friends, but failed to escape.

"It's just a rental, dude. Chill. And we thought about the used part." Kiba huffed as he shoved on his shoulders.

"That's supposed to make it better?" Sasuke bit out.

"We can order you a mail order bride."

"Please, for the love of anything that could possibly love you back, stop your thought processes."

"Does that mean your giving in?" Shikamaru called from the fridge.

"Do you really think I will?"

"Eventually. I am your roommate."

"Not to mention we already paid."

One kick after the other, and lower and lower they went.

"For the whole month?"

"Whole month." Shino confirmed.

There it was. The lowest kick any man could get. The one shot in the balls.

The stomach clenching, vomit inducing, cry for a straight hour, shot in the balls.

Okay, fair enough, he could play too. Sasuke relaxed under the hands that held him, his roommate still a safe distance away.

"Well, if I don't like her, we could always-"

"Sorry, she's here for the full month." Kiba shrugged as he hopped onto the couch.

Sasuke took a calming breath, "Well, in that case, one of you-"

"It's a gift!" Chouji said indignantly. "Don't re-give it!"

Sasuke ground his teeth together to stop himself at saying something else about a rented woman as a gift.

"The money…" Sasuke tried to reason.

"Your attitude…" Shino reasoned back in his usual dead tone.

Apparently everyone thought his attitude was due to lack of a counterpart.

"Fine!" Sasuke growled, "When does this beast of burden get here?"

Sasuke was going to ask for double shifts and have to lock himself away as a tutor at the writing center at school. If they weren't going to cave in getting rid of this absolutely ridiculous idea, he was going to avoid it to the fullest extent.

"Beast of burden…as in your brother?" Shikamaru was still staring into the fridge as if something new would appear.

"Please, don't make this any worse than it is."

"He helped pay." Shino commented in a monotone voice.

"So he knows."

Kiba nodded, "Yeah, obviously."

Sasuke groaned, his head falling forward into his waiting palms.

A knock came to the door, a booming cheer coming from Kiba, "Sweet! Pizza guy!"

The pale raven removed his face from his hands, "How many pizza's have you people ordered?"

"This would be the third."

Shikamaru was still staring into the refrigerator, "Sasuke, get that?"

"Are you cripple?"

"At the moment."

Sasuke sighed, mumbling threats under his breath before snatching money off the table, and wondering how much torture he could inflict on this innocent pizza guy.

The raven practically ripped open the door.

Not the pizza guy.

It was a guy though.
Golden blonde hair, closest thing to the sun on the earth, and sky blue eyes, like you were touching it. This guy was smiling, and Sasuke could silently give this man the benefit of the doubt, he had a bright smile that was downright dazzling. His skin was like a bronzed trophy, and whoever belonged to him certainly won something.

But this man, who was standing a few inches shorter than Sasuke, smiling like he knew something that he didn't; picked the wrong damn day and the wrong damn time to show up at his door.

"Can I help you?" Sasuke shot in a venomous tone.

"I'm looking for Sasuke Uchiha."

At this point, his roommate and friends had gathered around. In search of pizza and hoping they didn't have to bury a body.

"You know 'em?" Kiba asked quietly, peeking over Sasuke's shoulder.

"The only people I choose to know are you fucks." Sasuke hissed.

The male brightened in the hallway, "Oh! So you're Sasuke."

The raven nodded once, stiffly.

The man smiled even brighter, it reaching his eyes, "I'm Naruto."

"You want a fucking medal? Get off my doorstep."

Sasuke made to close the door, his friends behind him exchanging curious glances and mouthed words of confusion.

"But!" Naruto stopped the door from shutting with his hand, "Wait!"

Sasuke yanked the door open one last and final time in his opinion, almost hitting Shikamaru, "Five fucking seconds. Four! Before I kill you."

"I'm Naruto. I'm from Create a Dream."

Sasuke recalled the pamphlet he tried to send in flames with nonexistent mind powers, "Please tell me you're here to take care of this."

Sasuke was insinuating, of course, the insane idea his friends cooked up. The insane idea his friends came up with of renting him a 'girlfriend' for a month. He was hoping that maybe someone had a bad credit card, and they sent someone to take care of it. Tell them in person that they were, for lack of a better word, screwed.

The blonde smiled brightly, "Of course, Sasuke. For a month, I'll take care of whatever you want."

Author's Notes: I think I watched too much Absolute Boyfriend. XD