Hello, my name is swartzvald and I'm a "shipper" and I'm a guy!

Isn't that Weird?

Lessee: literary influences? largely comic fantasy Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett with a smattering of Simon R. Green (who isn't comic fantasy but is none the less one of my favorites who I heartily recommend if you haven't heard of him.)

I have a weird relationship with the series I write about: I only write about shows that annoy me in some way, it's kind of odd.

anywho couples i support:

Ryoga/Ukyo: Ranma 1/2 (duh...I could go on a whole long scree about this but I think its annoying when other people do that, so doing it myself would be slightly hypocritical)

Neji/Tenten:Naruto ( they just go well together, at least in fan-fiction, canon Tenten is a bit of a blank slate.)

Seres/Alucard:Hellsing (there's a whole Master/servant D/s thing going on there. It's sort of hot.)

Ichigo/Tatsuki (Bleach) (This couple hits all my weak points, childhood freinds, tomboy, underused backgroud charachter, It's uncanny.)

MShep/Ashley (Mass Effect) I've done all the romantic intrests for all three of the games and Ashley is still my favorite, was very dissapointed in her role in the second game, and why does she have Miranda's hair in Mass Effect 3?

Siegfreid/Tira (Soul Caliber) yeah, this is about as close to a crack pairing as I get. Well, she follows Nightmare around and he used to be Nightmare, that's it. Can't really justify it but like seeing it none the less. Been trying to work mysellf up to doing a story with them, but...haven't.Update: I have! see Taming Tira below.

Doctor/Romana (Dr. Who) This is another one I'm fairly unreasonable about. As far as I'm concerned this is the only ship with The Doctor that makes any sense at all. They're both Time Lords so the dieing thing is a non-issue. I'm fairly sure that the reason I don't see it more is that none of the new-school whovians know who Rommana is. Why she hasn't been reintroduced yet is a mystery to me. Well, I have a lot more to say about this but as this is already the longest entry we should probably get on with it.

there are lots more but this is too long already, on to the next bit!

things I dislike:

RY or UK with anybody else, seriously, it causes me actual physical discomfort, so just don't do it!

high school fics; I've always thought that one of the advantages of the linear progression of time is that I am constantly getting further away from high school.

What if (insert charachter here) were vampires.

Retcons; (lets change everything about the characters except the names, wheee..).if you want to write an original story, don't post it here, it belongs on .

ok I'm done,

go, read something...