Using the two drowned-human pools was a good idea on the part of Ryoga and Ukyo, even if their cursed forms became hybrid human-animal (it's better than the pure animal forms).

Great

Doesn't make sense you say "Ranma hasn't figured it out yet" but just before Akane says that Ranma shouted "You aren't even related to me!" so I would say Ranma has figured it out
&
Ryoga is amazed at how dense Ranma is but how is it being dense if you can't understand that

The Guy who has been trying to kill you is your Father &
The Woman who has been trying to marry you is your Mother?

OMG, I can honestly see that as a possible truth!

Should expand this into full fic & since Ranma is Ryoa's son shouldn't he also have the directional curse?

Wow, this is an interesting concept. It doesn't explain why Ranma didn't inherit the directional curse, though.

Nicely done! Talk about wheels within wheels! ::laughs:: What a development!

Really good idea. I don't see it coming even wen you named the kids.

But i am sorry to say this: Your development sucks. Sorry, but it is true.

I'm adding this story to alert and favs, so i know if you even change it.

I think you could make it a mutiple - but - short (like 3 or so) chapter serie.

By the way:

MARK THE SCENE CHANGES! how you suppose we know when a time skip is taken place? its confusing and ruin the mood...

I read your other jobs. I KNOW you dont suck, but no one wins it all, isn't?

This is one twisted oneshot. With the plot, it could be a very good chaptered-fic. The only thing that bites with this fic was the fact that there was no separation of scenes. One moment they're there and the next there here. It would do well for you to put a scene change sign or something.

Messed up yet very interesting.

"Bring back my mirror

[Repeated sentence – maybe a copypaste error?]

"Hai, Ukyou-sama,"

[Unnecessary Japanese (not the suffix, that’s used properly and is relatively unobtrusive)]

"Look it Jenny McCarthy!"

[I had to look up that person, and after I did wouldn’t a Japanese model have been more appropriate for the Neriman scene than an American?]

"Now Violent-Girl only have to beat Rose-girl!"

[I don’t get it. Who’s ‘Rose-girl’]

form and even a quarter

[_had_ even?]

aren't

you going

[Extraneous break. I’m also confused: is this implying that Ukyo doesn’t know Ryouga is ‘p-chan’, or that she does and is wondering why he hasn’t gone in after the mirror?]

"Spatula-girl no how

[know]

dismissing the

site.

[Extraneous break]

on a orange

[an]

who P-Chan,

[P-chan was?]

Ukyou shouted. "I changed into a FOX! And the bad part is...THAT SOUNDS LIKE A COMPLIMENT!"

[Points 1]

ask something.

[Missing closing quotes]

he

couldn't just

[Extraneous break]

on his

back

[Extraneous break]

as he travelled

[traveled]

would have

paled,

[Extraneous break]

almost turned

to find

[Extraneous break]

"I gotta work on this myself,

[She _did_ a lot of self-training, and Ryouga knows that]

"Masaka," Ukyou sighed.

[Unnecessary Japanese]

not a

good idea."

[Extraneous break]

Wow, it only took you a week

[Didn’t it take Ryouga that long? Or was it just 4-5 days?]

Though with the baksai tenketsu such was unlikely to be much of a threat to her.

[They may be resistant to fists and rock from their own blasts, I don’t think that it would stop a bullet]

"KONTON SUTERU!" Ukyou shouted, sending a chaotic swirl of orange chi into the hill side. She turned and smirked at Ryouga. "Did it."

"Yep, Chaos Rejection," Ryouga nodded. "I knew you were a control freak."

[Points 1]

something serious."

[Interrogative missing its question mark]

"Can you control your hormones?" Ukyou asked. Ryouga wanted to ask if she could, but decided he didn't want to die.

[Points 1]

she

realized what

[Extraneous break]

license

by this

[Extraneous break]

will marry

you."

[Extraneous break]

Ukyou's

aura change

[Extraneous break]

Have any problems."

[I think that this is a question, but there’s no mark]

been making something of killing,"

[I’m pretty sure that’s missing a word]

means to

make a living

[Extraneous break]

I'm going to rip your baksai tenketsu-ed throat out!"

"Don't worry," the nurse said. "They all say that."

[Points 1]

hallway to

stop

[Extraneous break]

look at the

twins.

[Extraneous break]

couple was

accidentally

[Extraneous break, and if Ukyo was splashed wouldn’t that have…wiped out the fetus?]

~And that is the last time I use those techniques, the Umisen and Yamasen are sealed.~

[Strangely, that makes a lot of sense for the techniques and their being locked away]

what Shampoo

had done

[Extraneous break]

a dead maybe for

[baby?]

won't we."

[Interrogative missing its question mark]

much more

careful.

[Extraneous break]

Ukyou said. "Our Ranma, is Ranma!"

[I can imagine her turning green now that she realizes she was inadvertently pursuing her future son]

the eldest

daughter.

[Extraneous break]

them carried

themselves

[Extraneous break]

was always

something

[Extraneous break]

questions

on whether

[Extraneous break]

girl asked

the question

[Extraneous break]

some jackass stole

him

[Extraneous break]

my

family I mean.

[Extraneous break]

"Your not even

[You’re]

all that time and you were trying to marry your own..." All three of them turned green. "Never mind.

[I don’t know if that’s funny or sick]

can you

keep our

[Extraneous break]

dumbbells,

and Kuonji Akane

[Extraneous break]

will molify your

[mollify?]

to go

kick

[Extraneous break]

That had a number of funny lines. I want to ask…what’s with Ukyo declaring that Ranma can’t marry Shampoo? I know what happened was sneaky and unscrupulous, but it’s been over 20 years and she said herself that she’d adjusted and even come to accept what happened. Besides the fact that what exactly happened was very unclear, the narrative stuck with Ukyo and Ryouga and you never really tell us clearly about Shampoo disappearing and leaving the two behind. I just don’t see what point there would be to even stop by the nekohanten – it’s not like condemning Shampoo can change anything, and I don’t see how she’d feel ingratiated or satisfied in any sense. It ends up that I wonder why she’d bother.

Heh, nice story.

like the plot

odd but good

0_0

never saw that comming.