Welcome to my profile! I'm Disturbed Turtle, formerly known as surban75. You can call me DT, Turtle or Disturbed. (Whether I'm actually disturbed or not is still up for debate!)

The links to the fan art for "To You I Give My Heart" (without spaces) Thanks xamreikh97!

on deviantart- http://marieyeohkh24.deviantart . com/art/Fem-Cloud-x-Zack-To-You-I-Give-My-Heart-451713171
on deviantart- http://marieyeohkh24.deviantart . com/art/Fem-CxZ-To-You-I-Give-My-Heart-II-by-Surban75-455245513
on tumblr- http://xamreikh97 . /

I am a single mother of four children. 3 boys and 1 girl. Ages 22, 18, 16, and my daughter 13. My oldest son, youngest son and daughter have all been diagnosed with autistic/aspergers and writing is an outlet for me. I have always enjoyed writing, but in the midst of marriage, children and divorce, it has fallen by the way side. I am a huge smart-ass, I love one-liners and cliff hangers.

I was born and raised in Texas, I love being from such an awesome state!

Feel free to PM anytime and I will respond as soon as I can.

When asked why I write, I would answer this way: Because kidnapping people and forcing them to act out your interesting make-believe worlds is technically illegal.

(*If you troll me, I might call you out. Trolls make me laugh at their attempt to anger me. I have the patience of Job, and the barbed tongue of a serpent so figure that one out! I also have teenagers, so whatever idiotic statements you come up with only increases my desire to poke fun at you. For those of you who don't troll, enjoy my responses if I choose to respond to them!!!*)

The world of FF VII is a fantastic world and full of imagination and intrigue. When I first played FF VII, I was not the biggest fan, but after I played FF VIII and loved it (I beat Omega Weapon 3 times before my ex-husband did!), I went back and played VII again. I cried when Aerith died. Cloud always interested me. I hadn't played CC, and didn't really care for Zack. I figured he was just a means to an end. After I finally played CC, I knew how it ended, but I still cried hysterically for a few days at the death scene. Zack and Cloud are my two favorite FF characters and Sephiroth runs a very close second. Cloud, Zack and Sephiroth are the trifecta of hotness!

Other FF characters that I love are Squall, Lightning, Yuna, Noel and Tidus (when he's not whining about his old man). I didn't care for FF IX, I just couldn't get into it. FF XII, was good, and Balthier was my favorite character in that game. I do have to say, I hate Lulu's outfit. I don't know what they were thinking when they made it up. They could have at least taken some of that extra material from her sleeves and put a little more cloth on her damn chest!

I really liked FF XIII, the characters were great! The only one that really got on my nerves was Vanille. In battles, and sometimes in regular dialog, she whined and moaned. It sounded like she was either having an orgasm or taking a shit. That is part of the reason that I did not use her character unless I had too. When I did have to have her in the party, I muted the television. Don't get me wrong, I love her character, but the moaning and grunts... ugh!

FF XIII-2, I was really looking forward to this game coming out. I love Noel, and I like Serah. However, upon beating the final boss, I was extremely disappointed. I went back through, and got all the gates opened, all of the fragments, all the side quests completed and nothing changed. I was left confused and pissed that I spent that much time, effort and money just to be left hanging like that. I still don't know if Yeul was bad and just leading Noel and Serah on to complete the mission of killing the goddess or as I have come to realize that it was Lightning... I think... Hell I don't know, just thinking about it pisses me off all over again. I think that I would rather shovel chocobo droppings all day than play that one all over again from the beginning. GRRRR!

Favorite Quotes: (I add more periodically)
"I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Woody Allen

"We are only limited by our imaginations" -Albert Einstein

"Ask yourself this question: "Will this matter a year from now?""-Richard Carlson

"We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding what we will not do." –Samuel Smiles

"The less people speak of their greatness, the more we think of it." -Lord Bacon

"When you speak of yourself as a nice and gracious person, who are you trying to convince, other people or yourself?" -Unknown

"Do you look like your mother or the dark dragon that got her pregnant?" -Zack talking to Hojo in "To You I Give My Heart."

"Are you always this uptight? If you are, maybe you should just get some lube and treat yourself on your next trip to the bathroom." -Zack talking to Hojo in "To You I Give My Heart"

"Were you born this stupid, or is this a learned behavior?" -Cloud talking to Zack in "Nexus"

"Don't be scared of the monster lurking outside, instead, look to your own heart, where the monster already dwells within." –Me, Disturbed Turtle

"Is there any limit to your defecation?" Fenrir to baby Seph in "Fanged Guardian" by Fanimation Danimation

"I am not an asshole. I am actually one of the nicest people you will ever meet. You are just pissed because I can see through your bullshit." -Unknown

“Strong women don’t play victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful, and don’t point fingers. They stand and deal.” –Mandy Hale

"Before you judge me, please understand that I don't give a fuck what you think." -Unknown

"Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." -Unknown

"I will never apologize for being me. You should apologize for asking me to be anything else." -Unknown

"Warning: My sense of humor may hurt your feelings or offend you. I suggest you suck it up! I change for no one!" -Sign

“There are two sides to every story, so if you are only getting one side, then you’re only hearing half the story.” –Unknown

"If you are shocked by anything I say... then you obviously haven't been paying attention to who I am." -Rebel Circus

""Cloud." Sephiroth didn't say his name so much as molest it." -From the story "Allure of Honey" by Sinnatious

Other games that I like- FF DoC, FF CC, FF VIII, FF X & X-2, FF XII, FF XIII & XIII-2, FF XV, Parasite Eve 1 & 2, Legend of Dragoon, KH 1, 2, 3, KH BbS,

Favorite Movies- Advent Children Complete (obviously) However, in the complete version, Cloud doesn't kick the door when Reno says "I'm still out here." I really loved that!, 300, Saw series, Troy, Gladiator, Labyrinth, Serenity, The Crow, Deep Rising, Pitch Black & Chronicles of Riddick

Favorite shows-Supernatural, Grimm, The Finder, Bones, Game of Thrones, Dexter, The Walking Dead, Fringe

Pet peeves- (I add more periodically)
1. When you're walking at a (store, mall, hall etc) and people in front of you slow down, or stop and you can't get around them.

2. Shoes left in the middle of the floor.

3. People starting fanfics and then abandoning them with no explanation. I can understand losing motivation, but at least let the reader know what happened.

4. People with bad breath and want to talk very close to you.

5. Readers that read a story but don't review or comment. (I hate myself, I find myself so involved in the story, that I forget to review until I get to the last chapter that was posted.)

6. I don't know if I'm doing a good characterization of Reno in my stories, but I said before, the "yo" that a lot of people put at the end of his sentences (some stories have it at the end of every god forsaken sentence... no joke) really kind of gets on my nerves. For that reason, I don't have it at all in any of his speech. A few "yos" every once in a while is fine, just the overbearing number is the problem.

7. Someone who tells me how nice a person they are. In my life experiences, if you have to tell people that you are nice, you really aren't, so stop lying to yourself and others. If you truly are nice, let me figure it out on my own.

I am not one that likes to linger in one scene forever. I like my stories to move along to keep the reader from getting bored with it. I get bored really easily, so writing a slow-paced story would bore me to utter insanity. I have been working on these stories for a while now, and I write pretty quickly.

I started reading a story that was very well written, the attention to detail was astounding and beautiful. I got really bored with it though, waiting for the story to move along. I found that I skimmed through much more than half of the first chapter. I don't want to say the name of the story here because I don't want to possibly offend the writer if she just so happens to come across this. However, if you would like to read it, and I recommend you at least give it a try if you like slower paced stories, PM me and I will tell you. I will also tell you that what I did read was beautiful and emotional.

The best horror book I think that I ever read, so far, was "Intensity" by Dean Koontz. It was very fast paced and kept my short attention span throughout the book. I seem to have to have a short attention span while keeping up with 4 hyper kids.

Since I became a member, I have read very good stories that sucked me right in and finished with a bang. Some stories I have read were just plain bad, bad grammar, plot holes galore and littered with misspelled words, (excluding crack fics) but I liked them just for the idea and effort that went into the plot. Even still, I enjoyed the different authors attempts at putting themselves out there for the world to judge. It takes a lot of nerve to pour your heart out on paper... computer paper... key board... whatever.

I have also had a fair share of troubles. When I posted my first chapter of Unbreakable Bonds (Nexus), I didn't know what the hell I was doing and when it posted, it didn't have the disclaimers, other author credits, scene breaks etc. I was in a panic hoping that I wasn't judged harshly because of that. However, I got some help and it got all straightened out.

Anyway, I feel that I have grown as a person, a woman, a mother and hopefully a friend and I thank everyone that has supported me. I know that there are people that read my stories and don't review, that's fine, I don't like to put my opinions out there either. Sometimes when I read a story, I review every chapter, sometimes every other chapter and sometimes not at all. If you're a reader and not a reviewer, it's okay with me, I know you all are out there reading and hopefully enjoying my attempts, that alone makes me feel good.

(*coughs* Although I wouldn't mind the reviews either... *coughs again*) I try to respond to all the reviews.

In the past, I have left reviews that were all nice and some that were not so nice. Recently, I have come to realize that honesty is better and helps that writer to improve. Many times I will leave a decent review and then PM them the harsher sounding critique so as not to embarrass myself or the writer. In a moment of stupidity, I left a review that sounded really bad, but in my distractions, I failed to re-read what I wrote to finish certain thoughts that I started before I posted. That is why it sounded so crass and insensitive. I have now adopted a new policy now that a review is a review, good or bad and any coarse assessments can be done privately.

Current stories-

Unbreakable Bonds: I have had a few issues with this story. I hashed out the main story in my story map. I knew pretty much what I wanted to happen and why it was happening the way it did. I am almost done with it and hope to have all the chapters posted soon. *hint* There are 40 chapters. Well... 38 chapters and 1 epilogue in two parts, but 40 if you wanna count the epilogue as chapters. *Update* I have completely changed the ending in this story. I took the last four chapters and tore them down and just re-wrote 90% of it.

I also went back and read some of my earlier chapters. All I can say is Good Grief that was bad. I am thinking of going back through and giving the first 16 or more a complete overhaul.

Update 7-15-13 I have started a sequel to UB. While I'm working on that, I will also be going back through and try and smooth over some of the rough edges and fix the poor writing on the earlier chapters of UB.

Update 7-25-13 I have taken UB down until things can be fixed and redone. When it is ready, I will begin to post it back to the site. I am trying to get chapter one ready and posted back up after I get the fixes done. I am considering changing the name to something else.

Nexus: As of 9-20-13, I posted the first chapter of UB, but I changed the name to Nexus. It is the same story, just revamped and I broke the chapters up into two and in some cases, three separate chapters.

Nexus of Fate: Sequel to "Nexus" is currently in slow progress, but I will not start posting it until I get all of Nexus posted.

Sheltered Haven: I typed this one out in about an hour and posted it right after. I wanted to dive into a different type of story, yaoi. I like to read some yaoi, but I am not real comfortable writing it that is why it is very light in the more intimate aspects. I am considering re-writing Sheltered Haven and calling it the 'un-cut' version of Sheltered Haven.

Update* The uncut version of Sheltered Haven is up! Be sure to check it out and let me know what you think.

Salvaged History: I wasn't real sure if I wanted a sequel to Haven or not, but it got a little fluffy instead of the angst I was wanting to go for. There was a third one, but it I took it off because the beginning was angst, but the end was fluff, fluff, fluff.

Intra Tentatio Insania: The English translation is Within the Temptation of Insanity. There is a reason for the latin title, it will be revealed in the course of the story. This one is very interesting in that I was still working on UB when the first chapter came to me. As I said in the A/N, I had to get at least the first chapter out before I could continue with UB. I am making the chapters shorter, around 2000 words. I am still working on this story and it is coming along fairly well. I started naming the chapters with this story. Each chapter title has a meaning to that chapter. I actually don't name the chapter until after it's finished.

To You I Give My Heart: Oddly enough, I was working on Insanity when the first chapter came to me. As with the others, I had to get it out before I could move on with the others. I am planning the POV to be strictly from Zack. I made Cloud female in this because of the way the story came to me and as I laid out my story map, it just made sense. I also started naming the chapters in this story as well. As with Insanity, the title means something to that chapter.

(*update* I am using most of Zack's demeanor and actions in later chapters of "Heart" from his characterization that I have in "Intra Tentatio Insania." Just wanted to let you know so that there are no questions.)

An awesome fan of the story "Heart" drew illustrations of Cloud pregnant and while holding the baby. Here are the links to see the illustrations (without spaces) http://marieyeohkh24.deviantart . com/art/Fem-Cloud-x-Zack-To-You-I-Give-My-Heart-451713171

Binary Fusion: Ultimecia can junction other beings, like Griever, to increase her strength. But what would happen if she junctioned the strongest being known in the universe…Jenova? Chaos, that's what would happen. Join our heroes as they stumble upon each other and the plan that is sought for all worlds domination. AU, AR, and slight OOC. Not yaoi. Rated for language and some violent content.

My original characters: infantry and civilian

I like to take my characters with me to different stories, so don't be surprised to see them in all my stories. Here is a breakdown of each one and their characteristics (Their characteristics can vary a little, depending on the story. The following are main characteristics from Nexus)

Jacob Harding: Goes by Harding, he is a Physician’s Assistant. He is kind and detail oriented and a geek through and through. He fancies himself as a tough guy and will often take the verbal abuse until he gets enough. Once he gets enough, he strikes out and often loses the fight.

Herman Barber: An infantry soldier who likes to go by his last name, because he hates his first name. He is a nice guy but a klutz to an extreme. He is loyal to people he considers friends and will help out where ever he can.

Bobby Lawrence: Only goes by his last name because that is what everyone else is doing. He is follower and is afraid to lead anything, scared to screw things up. Has fallen into the wrong crowd on occasion and gets caught up in situations that he thought were for the best. However, when he has the chance, he likes to rectify the situation and tries to make amends.

Davis Whitmore: He is a large man who is slovenly. He wears his thinning hair combed back and often is picking or biting at his fingernails when nervous or daydreaming. No real work ethic, he’s just in it for the money. Not as smart as his younger brother, he still tries to be the big brother and help Charles out with advice.

Charles Jefferson: The younger brother of Davis by marriage, they don’t usually get along except for their joint appetite for young men. He is a large guy, larger than Davis, and he loves his sweets and cake. Charles has a higher work ethic, and he does his job as well as he thinks he can. Having more of a conscious, many times he ignores it and does what he wants and thinks of the consequences later.

Drake Harmon: I based Drake loosely on my oldest son, Matthew, so Drake is one of my favorite OCs in Nexus. Drake is not necessarily mentally retarded but just slow and mute. Drake cares deeply for everyone and every living thing although he doesn't understand most things. Drake works hard and has a brother in a high position in Shinra who changed his last name so that it wouldn't be held against him, trying to make it easier for Drake, so he wouldn't be bullied or a target anymore. Drake tries to please as best as he can and he sees things through the eyes of a child.

Jack Harper: Large man who is very handsome. Always wanted to be a male model, but was unable to break through in the business. Instead, he takes the jobs that he can so that he can afford the lifestyle that he feels he deserves.

Conrad Stringer: An infantry soldier who follows orders well, but is a leader in many respects. A great sense of duty, he takes pride in his appearance and is always properly dressed in his uniform.

Jamie Abbott: The youngest of the four infantry soldiers, he likes to be in control and often makes fun of Barber when he hurts himself.

Jason Conners: He is a bully who likes to think that he is a ladies man.

Alana Burkhide: She is a petite woman who is an excellent waitress and bartender. She’s smart, funny and usually oblivious of what is right in front of her. Although there are all the signs of the object of her affection is actually attracted to another, she often thinks that she can wait it out and hopes for the best.

Annabelle Sterling: A tall woman with long brown hair, very smart and loves to take charge. When there are feelings for someone, she often sees that they are feeling the same and will take charge. She sees what other people consider flaws in themselves as assets that set them apart from others.

Brady Chase: A very handsome and intelligent doctor who is extremely vane. He is a womanizer who has had his fair share of disappointing relationships, mostly because of his inability to settle down and be monogamous.

Bonnie Hamilton: She is very timid and very much stays in her shell, untouched. With a very good work ethic and very good at her job, she still is a quiet person.

My original characters, Soldiers:

Second Class Soldier Carmine: Tall blond, 6'1," very dedicated to being the best Soldier that he can be.

Second Class Soldier Steve: Dark blond hair, taller than Carmine at 6'3," He is very serious almost to a fault. Good friends with Rick and still holds a bit of a fun loving grudge against Zack for the many pranks that he pulled.

First Class Soldier Rick: The 6'3," red-head is an expert in materia magic and sword play. Rick is very touchy on the subject of his three missing fingers because of a bet with Zack.

Second Class Soldier Hector: At 5'11," Hector is often the follower and loves to hang around his friends. Zack started the bet with Rick, but Hector encouraged the raven-haired Soldier throughout. Kunsel, however, egged him on and added money to the betting pool. (I may write out a one shot about the bet)

One of my kids and I got bored one weekend and we decided to make a couple of AMVs. If you want to check them out, here are the links. (FYI, on YouTube, I'm Disturbed Turtle) We have never done anything like this before, so they are a little rough. (No spaces on the links and full disclaimers for the videos on the site.)

A humorous one, "Troll Doll Auditions" http: // youtu . be/qI5uBtzL_qk

"Bleeding Out" http: // youtu . be/cyAd4r7XSEw

"Smooth Criminal" http: // youtu . be/b5-s48bvvxE

"More Human Than Human" http: // youtu . be/qXWQDV8jZ7o (Explicit lyrics so my son didn't help me with this one)

Check em out if you want, and please let me know what you think.