I'm an artist at heart. And I do it all. I write, act, draw, sew, and dream.

I read fanfiction often as bedtime stories. There's nothing like a good story when you're in your pajamas, under warm blankets, with your laptop. I also lose a lot of sleep that way. I read a great many things, but review so infrequently, it's shameful.

It's not meant as a slight (though sometimes it is). I have a great respect for good writers. I try to give back in my own way, usually in the form of passing on links to friends (the equivalent of lending out a book).

A little about me...

I tend to find a pairing I like and doggedly ship it. What I'm coming to realize about myself is that that's the fantasy for me. Fictional characters being happy and monogamous do not relate to my life. I follow my own personal rhythms, switching between being content and solitary, and engaged in courting rituals with various people I like for different reasons. I shy away from defining, but usually find a different person to fulfill each of my various modes of attachment: emotional attachment, intellectual attachment, and sexual attachment. I am not one to truly believe there exists a single person who can form all three with me. It doesn't mean I stop looking, it means I stop expecting it and live accordingly. I weigh each mode of attachment equally, and will not choose one over the others. Each person is a learning experience and is rarely a waste of time.

I'm not polyamorous exactly (I'm sure many practitioners would be horrified by my personal interpretation) but lacking proper terminology, it is what I have posited myself as potentially being.

So I guess you can say romantic or even slice-of-life monogamy is fantasy for me. I prefer steady, building partnership stories over tumultuous, dramatic highs and lows because I find “steady” to be the most enduring relationships, not the explosive ones.

Myth: the belief that if you're really in love, you will automatically lose all interest in others.

George Bernard Shaw said it best, “When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.”

Knowing that about me...read on to my pairings. :)

The couple I'll never forget is, ironically, a couple that never happened. Rurouni Kenshin's Aoshi Shinomori and Megumi Takani represent, for me, the essence of a mature and meaningful romantic relationship. As strong, independent adults, I love how well their personalities mesh in “canon” and alternate universes. He's meditative and cautious (and dangerous), she's brash and volatile (and sexy). There's a balance between the two. I also spent one or two years inside Aoshi's head, writing almost daily. You don't REALLY forget something like that.

Funny, again, how the OTHER RK couple I can't forget ALSO never was seen. Hajime Saitou and Tokio Takagi, while they happened IN RL HISTORY, never appeared together in the series. But there's something insanely intriguing about the borderline-evil antihero who chain smokes and brawls and kills...being tamed by a slip of a woman, who is the only person on the face of the planet strong enough in spirit to be married to the lone wolf. It's some good shit.

Jim and Pam are now classic because Jim is the hunkiest, tallest drink of water with just the right boy-next-door quality to him, I practically swoon every episode.

Anne and Gilbert will NEVER die. I'm SERIOUS. They're like Elizabeth and Darcy; Scarlett and Rhett. Seriously fucking classic.

Guilty pleasure couple #1: Miu and Yasu from NANA warm my heart. I love them to death. They're both highly intelligent and perceptive and both are used to being second best (they're also gorgeous together). They often communicate without speaking and are comfortable just existing together. Though they complement each other well, there's a sinking feeling it's doomed to end tragically. But I keep hoping for a happy ending for them.

Guilty pleasure couple #2: Jack and Liz from 30 Rock!! I know Tina Fey said it would never happen...but I love how everything's set up with Jack's ornery mother loving Liz and Jack being the only person to force the Lemon family out of their Midwestern niceness. Despite the age gap...they'd be a pretty amazing team.

Guilty pleasure couple #3: Good lord, don't kill me, but Calvin and Susie from Calvin & Hobbes. Not like...them as kids...but them growing up and becoming adults. Calvin's spent his younger years tormenting poor overachieving Susie, but as they mature, they'd totally be amazing.

Illegal couples: I never thought I would find myself cheering for couples where the age gap make the relationship illegal...but some writers just make things happen. Haruka and Mamoru in Until Death Do Us Part are INCREDIBLY interesting. He's a blind swordsman/killer and she's a tween psychic who meet when she bursts from a car and begs him to save her life. Mamoru suddenly finds himself against entire legions of mercenaries out to snatch this girl who can see into the future...and then you find out the reason Haruka latched onto the killer...she glimpsed her future, and saw who her future husband would be. (MIND EXPLOSION)

The other (ridiculous) couple is Sakaki and Umemura from the j-drama My Boss, My Hero. He's a fully-grown male heir to a yakuza family who is such an idiot, he is forced to disguise himself as a teenager and attend high school for the diploma he never earned. Umemura, a nice girl in his class, turns the former playboy into a blundering, stuttering idiot. You KNOW it's wrong for them to date, but you CAN'T HELP yourself wanting them to hook up.

Deeply touching and true to life couple: Joel and Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I used to watch this movie on loop. It's not even that they fit all that well together. They don't. But that's sort of the nature of life. And I get chills every time because Clementine says all the shit I don't know how to put into words. I'm all kinds of fucked up but time and again, a person comes along and expects me to save them. Sorry, I'm just looking for my own piece of mind. I'm also crazy in a lot of ways Clem is and I always say to myself, “do I look as crazy as she does in this movie?” Probably yes.

I'm a die-hard Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne fan. Catwoman has basically been my idol since I was four. And though I refuse to acknowledge any other potential suitors, I'm beginning to wonder if Edward Nigma/The Riddler might be a worthy element to add to the equation. I am also just coming off a deep obsession with Jean Grey (also since the age of four) and though I believed for years and years that she and Scott Summers were soulmates and belonged together, Scott's constant whatever has forced me to re-evaluate the notion of “soulmates.” I'm now mostly a non-believer. I am also a proponent of Jean getting down with the local bad boy who has remained constant, even through all her deaths and resurrections. Go Wolvie, get your girl.

Non-couple related stuff, but nonetheless mind-blowing: Honey & Clover is one of the most well-written manga/anime (sub) I have seen. The pain and sweetness of friendship and love all bundled together in a beautiful package. Hajime no Ippo as a manga is one of the funniest and touching you'll find. You will piss yourself, you will sit on the edge of your seat, you will cry. Beck Mongolian Chop Squad as a manga and an anime are mind-blowing. Basically, if you love music, you will be in fucking heaven as you try to pick out all the references (to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Beatles, The Who, Nirvana, U2, The Beastie Boys, etc) and discover a world where music is appreciated more than you imagined it could. Surprisingly the English dub (from the DVD, NOT what aired on TV) is excellent...one of the best dubs I've heard. There are so many f-bombs and “shit”'s thrown in there, it feels like you're watching a bunch of teenagers in the underground music circuit.

As for the most important contemporary authors you can read: Craig Thompson, Ruth Ozeki, and Michelle West. All write vastly different genres in greatly different styles, but all changed my life.

As for my latest obsession, Glee has taken over my life. You know you're fucked when you start a blog devoted to it because you don't want to gunk up your normal blog annoying everyone with your obsession they couldn't care less about.

I'm a serious Puckleberry shipper. I can't help it. I tried to fool myself into staying neutral but Finn just did all the wrong things and I can't forgive him for screwing with Rachel's heart. The relationship that was surprisingly dynamic and strangely deep was the most short-lived of the series! There's just something INTERESTING about Puck and Rachel that perhaps harkens back to my Aoshi and Megumi love. I feel the same pull and compelling undertones. Subtext. It's delicious.

I also am fond of St. Berry and what I personally call OtherBerry (that is, Rachel and Mike Chang). I can't explain it myself. I just can't get enough of Jonathan Groff and Harry Shum, jr.

You can read my horrifically Gleeky blog at: http:/// Because my rants are many and they are detailed and my family/friends/co-workers shouldn't be subjected to them constantly. I'm perpetually one gleegasm away from satisfaction. :)

You can also follow me on Twitter where I'll post blog update notifications and other creative pursuits, probably Glee-centered, at angryleila.

PROJECTS: (as of 4/09/10)

1. Forging a Heart of Sword – RK prizefic that's been done...and yet not. I've been staring at it for weeks/months trying to figure out what's wrong with it. It's about Kenshin's first real lesson.

2.Garter has been on the backburner for years. But I'm actually pretty sure the next chapter's been done for the same amount of time. I had so much “porn for the brain” all set up and ready to go but ya know, life happened. Misplaced notes.

3. Saitou/Tokio Reincarnation fic – the evil beast that made me start researching for a book series that in my wildest dreams I'd be able to write. Every attempt at this story gets twisted and creepy. I don't want my favorite couple to be creepy.

4. Saitou/Tokio non-AU fic – BACKBURNER. The exploration of an arranged marriage. Tokio tries to figure out who her husband is and he's not hedging at all. Misplaced notes.

5. Miu/Yasu fic – BACKBURNER. The series, from Miu's perspective, with her “future” voiceover and narration that Komatsu Nana normally filled. Misplaced notes.

6. The “kid” fic – Aoshi/Megumi. Aoshi is a single father raising a little girl and meets Megumi, who works in the same building as him. They are intensely attracted to one another, but the unpredictability of raising a child and trying to find romance creates a lot of tension that perhaps even love cannot overcome. BACKBURNER. Misplaced notes. (for more A/Meg goodness, visit S-girl's site: http:///icefire/ )

7. For the past three years, I've been toying with 100 some odd pages of script for a stupid original sex comedy webcomic I'm not sure I'll ever actually launch because I'm sort of neurotic like that (never mind that I actually am not much of an artist). I still write for it from time to time. And sometimes casually look for a male voiceover in case I decide to animate certain scenes.

8. Lots of embarrassing little tidbits I scrawled out and when I realized what I was doing, stopped almost immediately. These include the opening paragraph for a Puck/Rachel thing and an outline for something Calvin/Susie. Sometimes I think I need help.