Hi ladies and germs! Nice to smell you! I'm Mystichawk, (only because my favorite username, Abby-normal, is taken.)

OK, so generally in this type of thing you're supposed to give a description of yourself. What, do you think I'm gonna give out my freaking picture all over the web? No thank you.

Eh. Looks like I gotta answer something for this stupid sanity evaluation thingy.

What is my age? What the heck do you think?

What color is my hair? Purple, (unnaturally, of course. Wadda ya think I'm an Oompa Loompa?)

Favorite color? Who invented this thing? *Sigh* Black.

Hobbies? Listening to audiobooks, writing, reading, eating, sleeping, breathing, destroying all people who have the letter Y in their name just because I want to and making weird wax sculptures that I end up naming things like "Scuttlebutt."

Favorite band? Green Day and Flogging Molly.

Favorite T.V shows? No Reservations, Once Upon a Time, Bones, Arrow and Bar Rescue.

Favorite movie? Seriously, how is this going to determine your mental stability? *Sighs* Rise of the Guardians.

Favorite singer? it's a tie between Avril Lavigne and P!nk.

Favorite foods? Nachos and Grapefruits, (NOT at the same time, ew,)

Can you draw? About as well as a dog with all it's appendages cut off.

Favorite saying? Weirdness is a sign of genius. If someone looks like they want to wrap you in a straight-jacket and toss you into a loony bin it's because they're afraid of how awesome you are. Or they're mad because you stole their cookie.

Favorite song? If It Looks Like A Dwarf And Smells Like A Dwarf, Then It's Probably A Dwarf. Or A Latrine Wearing Dungarees.

Is your dream job is being a waitress in Seattle? No, what the bloody hell do you think?

What is your dream job? I refer to the previous answer. What do you think?

Favorite book? Oh you HAD to go and ask me a hard one, didn't you?
I'm a big fan of many books and serii, (the plural term for serieses,) up to and including Artemis Fowl, Vampirates, any Mary Downing Hahn books, any Vivian Vande Veld books, Septimus Heap, the City of Ember, Rangers Apprentice, Brotherband, the Guardians of Ga'Hool, the Children of the Lamp, Fablehaven, Charlie Bone, the Ever series, 13 Treasures Trilogy, the Chronicles of Vladimir Todd, The Three Vests, Dogs of the Drowned City, Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, the Bartimaeus Trilogy, Graceling, Endymion Spring, Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus, Kane Chronicles, Sisters Grimm, NERDS, Leviathan, Infernal Devices, the Mortal Instruments, the Land of Elyon, Chomp, Flush, Hoot, Scat, the list goes on and on . . .

Favorite Fanfics? Listen to Your Heart by Fantasydreamer244,
A Home for Fear by Miraeyeteeth,
The Sorrowful Life of Pippa Frost by Frost-like,
Seeing Isn't Believing by Q-A the Authoress,
Kill the Lights by vividRegulator,
Ghost stories-and other tales by dragoscilvio,
Code of the Guardians by The-Silver-Butterfly150,
Disenchanted Lullaby by MsWolffe,
Nursery Rhymes, Guardian Style by Kagirinai-Eternal,
Cookies and Temples by I'll get to it.eventually,
Hockey Pucks, Missing Teeth and Nachos by Inumaru12,
Cursed Luck by Spark of the forgotten,
Family Vacation by Jettara1,
When You Wish Upon the Moon, by Not A Stranger, should I do this in alphabetical order?

Friends? Only one at the moment. My own brain. Though Xion5, Starskulls, Fantesydreamer244 and Dragoscilvio have shown their willingness to follow my obvious talent and deluge me with my well-deserved praises.

Any shred of dignity or sense of right and wrong? Nope.

YAY! I'm done- wait a minute! There's another one?! *sigh* I guess I'll do it.

101 Random Things About Me Copied from RizReviewer's profile

1. Age? Older than the wind but younger than the mountains.

2. Height? Tall enough to make any idiot who wants to mess with me back off, (even if I am a wuss when it comes to physical fights.)

3. Eyes? THEY KEEP CHANGING COLOR MAN! I'm serious! Yesterday they were light brown, then they turned murky green, and not they're kind of- gimme a sec to check in my mirror. . . . . HOLY SHIZNIT THEY'RE TURNIN' GREY! Well, will you look at that!

4. Have any tattoos? No! My brother has a virtual TAPESTRY of them and I think it'd hurt too much to get them anyway,

5. And piercings? Re-did my ears on my birthday, and they're working out great!

6. Fave food? Blue chips raw-milk cheddar cheese nachos and Grapefruits. What? NO, NOT AT THE SAME TIME! Eww.

7. Fave pizza topping? Meh. Anything besides onions and anchovies.

8. Fave drink? Cherry Cider. (Believe me or no, but I actually got a hangover from drinking seven jugs of the stuff. Seriously!)

9. Siblings? None that I actually talk to. They're all asses.

10. Been in a fight? I refer to question 2. I don't like fighting, but if someone gets up in my face or puts his hands on me, I'm going to punch his lights out.

11. Serious relationships or one-night stands? Pfft! Yeah right! Not a single boyfriend, EVER, and I refer to my last answer.

12. Weight? You looking for a death wish?

13. Fave snack? NACHOS BABY!

14. Fave candy? Butterfingers, though they're absolutely horrible for your teeth.

15. Fave movie? RISE OF THE GUARDIANS! Pitch Black is freaking AWESOME!

16. Fave show? Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. That guy is hilarious!

17. Do you smoke? Hell no!

18. Blonds or brunettes? Neither. Red heads.

19. Any scars? One really stupid cut between my first and middle finger from a year ago and a shiznit ton of bugbites, including two on my leg about a foot apart that I got while running from an Aragog.

20. Fave music? Irish music, Indian pop music, regular pop music and the occasional calming instrumental solo.

21. Fave actor? HUGH FREAKNIG JACKMAN! That guy is sooooo hot! AND HE CAN SING! Australia has got a shit-ton of talent.

22. Where do you live? The fourth galaxy in the interplanetary solar-system of the Teleporting Ewok known as Bob.

23. Do you miss anyone right now? My friend Fanty. She's busy with school, life and other dramatic shit.

24. Last person who made you cry? The guys who made the scene at the end of RotG where Pitch is pulled down into the hole. I cried and cried at that part.

25. Do you enjoy school? Nope. Got suspended twice for 'unruly behaivior'. I flipped the teacher off using both fingers! So what?

26. Desires? FINISH AT LEAST ONE OF MY STORIES! I swear, it's so freaking hard to finish a story that I've literally NEVER been able to finish one. Publishing my stories would be the next step, (not on fanfiction of course,) and I've always seen myself owning my own bookshop in New York.

27. Fave fast food joint? I'm fat enough as it is! I don't need Mc Sweeney's filling me up with god knows what!

28. What's the last thing you drank? A cup of milk to ease the burning because my damn dad just gave me a jalapeno.

29. What are you doing right now? Talking to you. Believe me, I'm starting to think it's a waste of time.

30. Where would you like to go? The Leviathan, Septimus Heap's world, Bloor's Academy, Danu Talis, Honeyduke's, Mollusk Island, the Icemark, ect ect would you like an alphabetical list?

31. Are you in a relationship? I refer to question 11.

32. Ever been arrested? Nope. I'm too fast.

33. Ever had a stalker? Nope. If I did, well, I would be sending my shirt to the laundry mat for "ketchup stains" if you know what I mean. ;)

34. Ever gone sky-diving? I'm scared of heights.

35. Where do you think you'll go when you die? Hopefully to that big wonderful, library in the sky. If the plane there's full, I'll settle for Hawaii.

36. Is there a God? Well duh, of course there is! If there wasn't, who would take my pizza orders?

37. Do you have a cell phone? Yup, brand new and I LOOOVE it.

38. Are you squeamish? Here's a hint: my favorite TV show, apart from No Reservations, is Bones. Think you can figure it out?
Jk, I'm kidding. The smart-ass comments just roll off my tongue like a moldy olive.
I'm a little bit squemish.

39. Are you a human? Nope. I'm a ADHD elf with a height disorder and abnormally round ears.

40. Fastest speed you've ever experienced in a car? Never over a hundred. That was in California, with my demonic grandmother behind the wheel. She used to be a biker AND a truck driver.

41. Stupidest thing you've ever thought about doing? Quitting writing.

42. Do people find you attractive? If they do then they have yet to tell me.

43. What annoys you? Burned cheese.

44. What are you afraid of? Spiders. I will happily send all spiders down to meet their doom in the bottom of my shoe.

45. Gold or silver? Silver.

46. Are people afraid of you? IF THEY'RE NOT, THEN THEY'D BETTER BE!

47. Do you sing in public? I've broken out in song plenty of times in school. This Is Halloween on Halloween, Jingle Bombs on the first of December, Last Friday Night on Monday morning, Raise Your Glass whenever I'm hungover on Cherry Cider, you know. The usual.

48. Ever been screwed over? 'SCUSE THE HECK OUT OF YOU?!

49. Does money make people happy? Nope. It's what you buy with it that makes you happy. If what you buy with it is books.

50. Do you have any hope left for the human race? Not really. We've completely screwed up our planet's natural resources, destroyed over a quarter of our forests, polluted our water supply, killed off five hundred unique species, poisoned our air and pumped enough toxins to stun a mammoth. We're pretty much screwed.

51. What's your hair look like? Purple, long, and very very thick.

52. First job? None yet. Unless you count being a barely-paid baby-sitter, house-sitter, dogwalker and general childlaboree.

53. Do you like meeting new people? If they're cool and like the same kinds of things I like.

54. Do you get along with your parents? One out of two.

55. Ever played strip poker? EXCUSE ME?!

56. Ever get into an argument with a cop? Nope. Always been smart enough to be all, “Oh, yes officer. I'm a law-abiding citizen!” and then flip them off behind their back.

57. Ever been in a car accident? Once, when I was a baby. That's probably the reason for all my oddness.

58. Most flights of stairs you've ever fallen down? I've never been stupid enough to fall down a flight of stairs. UP, now that's a different matter.

59. Do you care what people think of you? Not really. If they like me, then we'll have coffee together! If they don't, then I'll cut their private parts off.

60. Where do you see yourself five years down the line? A world-famous writer with a dozen degrees under my belt and three books published.

61. Are you afraid of the dark? Not if Pitch Black is there. Purrrrrr.

62. What kind of car do you have? I may be older than the wind, but I'm not enough to get a car. Or my license.

63. Time you were born? Beats the hell out of me! Do you remember the time you were born?!

64. Ever break any bones? Only my collarbone and a few toes. And that hand I smashed in my bedroom door, my locker, my car door and my classroom door all in the same day.

65. Fave childhood toy? My copy of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven.

66. Fave author? Mary Downing Hahn.

67. Are you a paranoid person? Only where my writing is concerned.

68. Have any enemies? Everyone who's ever met me.

69. Are you afraid of heights? I refer to question 34.

70. Last movie you watched? Transformers.

71. Most disturbing movie you've ever seen? Queen of the Damned. I had SOOO many Nightmares because of that movie. THANK YOU PITCH, YOU ASS!

72. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla.

73. Favorite color? Purple!

74. What time do you usually wake up? Around 10. I'm a late sleeper.

75. What are you doing? Now? Plotting world domination, learning how to ride a whirlwind, handglinde and rearranging my sock drawer.

76. What is something that you keep in your purse/wallet? My two library cards and my vast fortune of five bucks and twenty cents. And a Canadian quarter.

77. What is the longest work shift you've ever worked? To tell the truth, I don't know. I only ever work with my mom and that's volunteering. I get paid a twenty each time and that goes to the bookstore down the street.

78. How many days have you gone to work consecutively before having a day off? A week. I was busy with my fanfiction stories and I locked myself in my room with only nachos and water to sustain me.

79. Can you do a handstand? Nope. That would be like trying to make a walrus do a handstand if you know what I mean.

80. Are you an angry person? When someone ticks me off.

81. Is there anyone out there who you would like to personally kill? The person who said Brave got the academy award instead of ROTG.

82. Do you talk in your sleep? Yes. A lot. On a Girlscout camp out I woke everybody up screaming, while still asleep, “GIVE ME BACK MY GIANT BRONZE CUPCAKE!”

83. Have you ever gotten so drunk that you couldn't remember what happened the night before? Not yet.

84. Can you break a piece of wood with your forehead? I have a hard head but not that hard.

85. Are you delusional? Depends. If visualizing Pitch Black in a pair of jean-shorts, bare-chested and handing me a cherry cider with a little black umbrella sticking out is delusional then yes, yes I am.

86. What is something that you are horrible at? Running and all other kinds of physical exertion.

87. What is the most boring thing you've ever done? School.

88. Can you lift up someone who is twice your weight? How is that possible?

89. Would you rather be a ninja or a pirate? Pirate, on the off-chance that I get to meet Jack Sparrow.

90. What is the worst movie you've ever seen? There's this particularly awful one called 'my life' that I believe was particularly horrible.

91. Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right handed.

92. Do you suffer from short-term memory loss? I'm not sure. sometimes I remember random things and sometimes, when I'm trying really hard I can-
What were we talking about?

93. How are you feeling right now? Tired.

94. What annoys you about people? How utterly ignorant they all seem to be.

95. Do you dislike children? Depends. I dislike my little brother because he's been engineered to only watch TV and parrot quotes about dinosaurs and I dislike my little sister because she's such a whiny tattle-tail. But I've met plenty of cool kids.

96. Can you climb a fence or would you fall off? Why would I bother trying to climb a fence? I'd just use my wire-cutters and blowtorch.

97. Would you like to own a pair of brass knuckles? Why would I need a pair brass knuckles? I already stole three from my brother and a set of platinum knuckles. I'm using them as tooth and hairbrush holders.

98. Can you smile for me? I am smiling. It's just upside down.

99. What do you do if you can't fall asleep at night? I spend umpteen hours on my computer, banging my head to a death metal band I don't know the name of and swigging on my cherry cider.

100. When was the last time you fell off a bike? The last time I rode it.

101. What is the thing you are most afraid of? *Sigh* This is a question written by Pitch isn't it? Well, apart from spiders, clowns and the invasion of squirrels that is taking over the cable stations, I have an eternal and unhealable terror of David Bowie.
DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME! He's a freaky guy!

Alrighty, that's all from me! Mystichawk, signing off!