Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, DC Comics, it's characters, affiliates and the like. Just a fan with a heart in the shape of a bat :)

Author's Note: * He never felt truly at home unless he heard screaming is a real life quote from my fiance about me. I randomly scream or shriek in the house. No, really.

*He never felt truly at home unless he heard screaming. Lucky for him, there was plenty of that to go around at the moment.

Tonight the dim lights humming from the ceilings above him were the calmest sound in the chorus of cell block D, the maximum security wing. Now, it was true, most every night all the nuts in this place became most active once the sun went down. During the day they were given sedatives, anti-psychotics or a combination of both.

However the most of the staff had gone home for the day, hurriedly exiting the grounds, thankful to have survived through another day at Arkham Asylum, home to the criminally insane.

Only the night shift nurses and guards were here now; the staff made up of the more experienced and seasoned workers the Asylum had- or those who needed the money.

It was because this was the time when the residents of Arkham Asylum came alive. The medications had worn off of most and with their senses now bombarded by the ailment that afflicted them, the madness could be heard around every corner. The far-away voice of Calendar Man was muttering that 12-month rhyme over and over, Poison Ivy swearing vengeance on whichever staff member happened to pass her cell for hurting her 'babies', Jervis Tetch's squeaky voice demanding his hat returned "At once!", the generic crazies howling at the walls of their cramped cells, ...the list went on.

And of course, His laughter.

The laughter that turned even some of the more evil inhabitants pale and curling up in their mattresses.

Though he had to admit that this particular evening was more rowdy than usual. Already a few inmates had to be sedated via needle to the throat and it wasn't even midnight. He laid on his cot, which was pushed against the far corner of his cell and nailed down. Convenient for him because it was the darkest part of the cell and he could get a couple hours of sleep some nights. Tonight, however, would clearly not be one of those nights.

So he just laid there, hands behind his head, trying to remember his arrival at Arkham; routes taken, layout of the facility... but that part was a bit hazy. Bats had knocked him out pretty good. He made a mental note to return to favor to the Dork Knight himself! Ol' Sharpie had definitely the upped security in the joint. New cameras in the corridors, meaning more guards to watch more screens, even a new pacification system. Simply put, if the alarms were going and you tried to get out of a door without the code, you'd get electrocuted. Sounds fun, he enjoyed a challenge.

Yet, with all the new security, they still haven't brought themselves to clean this place. His eyes squinted disapprovingly at the interior of his cell. All he had to occupy himself with all day was stare at the walls and think. And the decorator must have been off the day they painted this place. An awful yellow-tinted beige color. He couldn't expect everyone to have his good taste but even he couldn't understand a faux pas like that!

A far away scream from a cell distracted him from his thoughts. With all this racket, how's a guy suppose to get any sleep around here? He'd think of something clever to use in his next coup, yes, something involving chattering teeth, jumper cables-

"So I take it you saw her?"

He turned his head and listened to a pair of nurses banter while doing their first set of nightly rounds.

"Oh yes" responded the other, "and I can already tell you that a few the guards have their eyes on her. Maybe even some of the doctors."

Her?

"Well I can see why. I mean to be a doctor, so young, it doesn't take a genius to see how she got through school." Jealous, are we, ladies? "But apparently she fought to intern here. Strange, most people avoid this place, or they quit soon after."

"Yeah, it'll be interesting to see how long she lasts."

He felt his old mischievous smile spread across his face. A new intern? Oh this was great news! He would need something to pass the time until he figured a way to break out of here. He felt himself get giddy, and before he could stop it - not that he would - he began to let out a wondrous bout of laughter, a good from-the-belly-laugh.

And as his laughter continued, the rest of the wing began to quiet, no doubt, wondering -or fearing- what suddenly put the Joker in a good mood.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Quinzel... Hello, I'm Dr. Harleen Quinzel... Good Morning, I'm Doctor..." Sigh

Harleen let out a heavy sigh, looking at her frowning self in the mirror. She had been practicing giving her new supervisor, Warden Quincy Sharp, a 'good impression' all morning. She decided to give up for now and finish getting ready. Already having showered, she combed out her hair and put it in a low bun. Easy to do when still damp. Touching up her blond hair always gave her a sense of confidence that her natural brown hair never could. Blond seemed to suit her anyhow. She kept her makeup simple, mascara only. Then walked over to her bed where she had set her clothes out like it was the first day of school. After dressing, she observed her appearance: a black pencil shirt, a white button-down collared shirt and dark red pumps. At first, she thought the shoes would be a bit much, but then she figured she was a doctor, not a nun, right? A feminine touch is always good.

A glance at her watch made her eyes widen. Shoot! If she didn't leave right now she might be late. Grabbing her empty briefcase and downing the last of her coffee, she was just about to turn the doorknob of her apartment door when she dropped her briefcase and dashed back to the bathroom. Picking up the lipstick labeled Minx, she slid it on quickly. It closely matched her shoes and seem to bring the look together. Smiling, she gathered her things and headed out to her new job, feeling like today was change the rest of her life.

Joker regarded his tray with the usual distaste. Today's lunch menu? Process turkey meat with plain powdered mash potatoes and red jello. Well.. at least the jello was edible. He looked around for a reliable source of intel he could get to talk to him about this new intern he'd heard of the night before. Two guards held their guns up to him as they followed him around the cafeteria. They were doing the usual searches throughout the cells today. Naturally, he was hand cuffed, ankle cuffed, and had two automatic weapons trained on him constantly. Cozy.

They usually wheeled him around in a standing gurney but no one volunteered to feed him his food. Funny, he always thought he had a lovely bedside manner.

He spotted Nygma at a small circular table by himself and, smiling widely and nudging his head for guards to follow him like they were pals joining him for a bite, he took the seat across from Nygma and waited. Nygma seemed to not notice but Joker knew better.

"So Eddie, how's the grapevine?" Joker asked. Nygma's cell was located at a perfect intersection in the cell blocks near the nurse's station and he picked up quite of bit of gossip.

"Joker, subtlety isn't your style. Very unbecoming. Besides, why would I tell you?" said Nygma, still not looking at him. Joker watched as the jello slightly shook more than it should in Nyma's plastic spoon.

Joker's eyes narrowed and his voice went low. "Ya know, I could always kill you Eddie," he leaned forward and saw the guards edge closer as he did. "But where would I get my Dear Abby updates from? I guess I would have to ask the poor fellow who takes your old cell." He leaned back as he popped a cube of jello into his mouth.

Nygma had only stopped eating for a few seconds then continued on. "Well, I have heard about the intern coming in today."

"That's the spirit! Now tell old Uncle Jay..."

Nygma didn't have much. She was fresh out of med school with top marks, impressing the doctors. No wonder the nurses seemed huffy. And apparently she was attractive. Eh. Looks never fascinated him. He thought most people didn't show their true self until they were dying anyway. And even then, most weren't appealing. Being a new intern meant she would get a tour of the hospital though. At least he could get a glimpse of her and that could give him an idea of how to toy with this one.

Once he was back in his cell (that had left in haphazardly a mess i.e., mattress on the floor), he thought back on how he had tortured his last doctor. After spending a few sessions with him, the staff felt somewhat relieved Joker hadn't become violent, so they allowed Dr. Vanshund to have one-on-one sessions without security guards. He found the good doctor to be a honest family man, balancing life with work. So it seemed rather odd that after a few weeks of one-on-one sessions that the doctor turned in his 2-week notice and was filing for divorce.

He had laughed over that one for a good while. When the doctor had asked Joker about his sex life, beating around the question of which gender partners he preferred, Joker saw the opportunity. It was only too easy to plant little seeds of suggestion that the doctor might be dealing with his own issues of homosexuality. After a little reverse psychology, he was able to convince the hetero, loving family man that he was in fact hiding in the closet and should come out. Furthermore that his job to help others wouldn't be fair until he helped himself. The real punchline was when Joker heard that 6 months after the doctor had quit, he had become terminally ill and died, though no one spoke of which illness. That was one for the record books. The staff kept away from him after that, unsure which doctor should be next. Warden Sharp also instituted that Joker's sessions were to be recorded at all times with tape recorders to be reviewed the very same day.

Fine by him, if they wanted to up the ante, so would he.

Just then he heard the distinct sound of two female voices and heels. Heels?

He leaned up against the wall, facing the direction the two were coming from and smiled. Showtime.