GREETINGS EARTHLINGS!

How we all doin'? That's great.

So, you're here because you wanna know about li'l ol' me, hmm? Well, first of all, I'm flattered. Second of all, you'll be the ones powering my stories, so your wish is my command...

Age? None of your business.:P

Nationality? Canadian eh?(We make the good beer!)

Fears? Spiders, wooden dummies, porcelain dolls, mannequins with faces (you laugh now, but stare at a mannequin or porcelain doll long enough and you'll see what I mean)

Little bit MORE about me? I've been writing stories for a while now, a mixture of fanfictions and entirely originals. I have an obsessions with ducks, the name Floyd, Captain Jack Sparrow,movies and TV.

favorite Actor(s)? Johnny Depp, George Clooney, ROBERT REDFORD, PAUL NEWMAN, Michael Weatherly, Bill Hader

Favorite actress(es)? Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, Lauren Graham, Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy

Celebrity Crushes? Johnny Depp, Jesse McCartney, Michael Seater, James McAvoy, ERIC DANE, Chris Pine, Ed Westwick, Matt Bomer (Yes, I know, and I don't care:P), Matthew Gray Gubler, John Francis Daley, BRADLEY JAMES (future husband), Louis Tomlinson, Bill Hader

Favorite Television show characters OF ALL TIME: Fonzie (Happy Days), Hawkeye Pierce(MASH), Lorelai Gilmore(Gilmore Girls), Barney Stinson(How I Met Your Mother), Very Special Agent Anthony(Tony)DiNozzo (NCIS), Morgana (Merlin), Regina Mills/Evil Queen (Once Upon a Time)

Favorite Movie Character of All Time: Vada Sultenfuss (My Girl)

Favorite Inspirational Quote? "People can live a hundred year without ever really living for a minute, you climb up here with me and it's one less minute you haven't lived." - Logan, Gilmore Girls

Favorite Rock Star Quote? "I was once on a little private plane with President Clinton. And the man who had flown both of us to this event that we went to said 'who has the cooler gig?' and I said 'me, I get to keep the house.' " - Jon Bon Jovi

Jack Taylor : "Maggie, when you grow up and are incredibly beautiful and intelligent and possess a certain sweetness that's... that's like a distant promise to the brave, to the worthy, could you please not beat to a pulp every miserable bastard that comes your way simply because you can? Could you not do that?"
Maggie Taylor :"Okay Daddy."

- One Fine Day

“Lucy comes from that part of me that’s capable of saying mean and sarcastic things,
which is not a good trait to have, so Lucy gives me a good outlet. But each character has a weakness and Lucy’s weakness is Schroeder.”

—Charles M. Schulz

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!!"

You know you live in the 21st century when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sipping Vodka

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous On the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
nervous, I take a sip.'
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on
the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipate d.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he
was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'take this and eat
it for it is my body.' He did not say ' Eat me'
12)The Virgin Mary is not called ' Mary with the Cherry'.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a
peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
The Origination of this letter is unknown.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xx

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it and you don't have to be gay to do so. I'm not, but I will stand up against anyone who has a problem with homosexuality.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Heath Ledger

a loss to this world

a loss to his family

a loss to the movie industry

a loss to those fans who adored him

if you are one of the faithful fans who will remember his work...copy this into your profile

He was an artist and the world is a lesser place due to this loss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy this onto ya profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If short people will one day rule the world copy and past this onto your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that ROCKS (and rocks hard with pride), put this in your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

If you have ever had a crush on a book character (Do I really need to say who?) copy this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews (or maybe even one review...), add this to your profile

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

If you've ever seen a movie or a TV show (You know which ones I mean, lol) so many times you can quote it word for word and you do at random times or when the moment seems to need a quote, even when whoever you are quoting it to doesn't understand it; put this in your profile.

If there are characters on a certain show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can easily finish a novel in one day, put this on your profile!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, or TV etc. to come out/be release/premiere, copy this into your profile.

If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were eleven, put this in your profile.

If you are the kind of person who believes in legends, myths and conspiracy theories, copy this onto your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.