Chapter one.

Love is an emotion. An illogical emotion. And as a Vulcan, emotions are unacceptable, especially illogical ones. I guess however there was always a bit of leeway for me since I wasn't really Vulcan. I was the human niece of Amanda Grayson, the human wife of ambassador Sarek. As a child I was given a lot of leeway in many ways, and my excuse was always, she's human. Therefore I, unlike my cousin Spock, was allowed to feel emotions no matter how illogical or possibly insane they were. Including love. I loved Amanda as my mother even though she was really my aunt, I loved Sarek as my father despite that he neve3r showed me any emotion in return, and most of all, I loved Spock as my brother.

I was born on Earth, in Stratford in England. My father was the older brother of my aunt Amanda. However I was raised on Vulcan by my aunt Amanda because my parents who were universal diplomats died in a Klingon attack. I was only four, so I remember little of my human life before then, or of Earth. I was given a Vulcan education like my cousin Spock who was three years older then myself.

I looked up to Spock, and I did whatever he did. Except I did it with a good deal of emotion. Spock studied science, so I threw myself into science with a passion. I would stay up late at night, studying and studying so I could one day be as good as Spock, though the logical action would have been to get some rest and get up early the next day.

When Spock was bullied, he fought to control his emotions. I didn't fight it. I lost track of how many of those boys I beat up, how many times I yelled at them, how many times I came home bloody and bruised., Amanda waiting at the door, shaking her head trying to hide a smile. I more then made up for the emotion that her own son repressed.

The Vulcan high council was not happy with me. I was disrupting the educations of my fellow students, and showing my emotions a good deal more then I liked. Violence and anger were illogical emotions and actions. The only reason I had been allowed to continue my Vulcan education up till now was because I had exceeded everyone's expectations with my grades and skills. Due, in my opinion, not to any extreme intelligence of mine, but rather my competitive nature and desire to be as good as Spock was.

Sarek made me stop initiating fistfights after that, and I listened because I knew that otherwise I might be forced to leave. And the idea of leaving my beloved family was painful. Especially Spock, because in my opinion no one would ever be able to replace Spock in my life. Neither humans or vulcans.

Spock wasn't the only one who was bullied. I was bullied a good deal myself, however it was mostly verbal. Spock knew how to control his emotions until fists began to fly. The other students just had to mention my parents names with a condemning tone and I'd be glaring daggers at them. If they insulted Spock or aunt Amanda, I was ready to claw their eyes out. Spock was always the one holding me back, and I guess I'm grateful for that now, though back then I called him a great deal of filthy names when he did it. But despite that I loved him with all my heart. I was a affectionate sister. The kind who would often come bouncing up to his side and hug him.

Spock was very protective of me. I have seen him punch boys who have driven me to tears, and he was the one I would turn to for comfort. He rationalized it. It was logical that he look after me because his parents held him responsible for my welfare. However I knew it was not because he felt duty-bound to look after me that he did. He loved me just as much as I loved him. He just hid it, along with all his other human emotions.

I was, as my aunt Amanda said, a tomboy. Always getting into trouble, fighting, climbing trees, exploring Vulcan. I remember well many adventures where I talked Spock into taking me exploring on the planet. We knew the surface of that planet better then most of the Vulcan children, because we explored it for illogical reasons. Spock did it to please me, and I did it for the excitement of doing something new, of getting into trouble, and seeing the world.

As I became older however, my behaviour was no longer considered acceptable, because I was just a little orphaned human who needed their help. I was expected to conform to society. Vulcan society. Me and Spock both. And I guess the Vulcan's did rub off on me a bit. I grew my light brown hair long so one couldn't see that my ears weren't pointed. I had a long fringe which covered my eyebrows.

When I stood beside Spock, it was impossible to guess that we were not related. We had the same nose, long slightly rounded face, the same shaped eyes, the difference being mine were a bright blue. However that was easily disguised under the shadow of my fringe. The only major difference between us was that my hair was far lighter then his, as if it couldn't quite decide whether it wanted to be blonde or brown. I was more petite and skinny, and shorter. Spock would tease me and tell me that I looked almost fragile, unlike the other sturdy Vulcan girls. I worked out to build muscle so I would not look weak compared to them.

I grew serious, rarely smiling and having lived with the Vulcan's since I was four, I spoke like them. I had always tried to be like Spock as a child. I rose my eyebrow in the same way, cocked my head to the side in the same way when I found something interesting. I did these things without really realising it, without conscious effort. I followed the fashions of Vulcan girls, the only difference being that I always made sure my hair covered my ear tips and eyebrows.

Of course I could never be like the other Vulcan girls. No Vulcan boy would ever decide to mate with me. Very few Vulcan boys looked my way in interest at all. The logical choice was to decide on someone of their own species. I was not a logical choice. But I tried. I was the most Vulcan human that ever existed.

My actions became... logical. And only logical.

Love is an emotion. An illogical emotion. But is was an emotion I clung to even when to the world I looked and acted just like any other Vulcan. Because I loved Amanda as my mother, I loved Sarek as my father, and most of all I loved Spock as my brother.