A Rambling Bio...

So I've been writing fanfic off and on for ten years now, though I only recently joined . My fanfics were posted on a now defunct Harry Potter fansite, and were numbered in the forties at the time of the website's closure. Sadly, I lost almost everything I wrote due to numerous laptop breakdowns, and the fact that the closure of the website happened without any warning meant that I was unable to make copies of my work. I was absolutely gutted that I lost hours and hours of work in the blink of an eye, and I lost my fanfic muse for a long time because of it.

In the years since this happened, I continued to write, though my focus was on original works. I was lucky enough to get a novel accepted for publication via a digital publisher, but - as so often is the case in the cut-throat world of publishing - my book never really gained any attention, and once again my writing muse deserted me. In fact, it was well over a year before I did anything more than write a paragraph or two, and even when I did write, I generally deleted it immediately. There was just no 'buzz' any more.

And then I got sucked in to the Merlin fandom a few months ago; sucked in enough for me to seek out fanfics based on what was clearly going to be as big - if not bigger - an obsession as the world of Harry Potter was for me. First I was happy enough to simply read as many decent stories as I could find, but I couldn't find anything that filled the hole that the series left me with. I'd had a revelation of sorts while I watched the series finale, and though I read a LOT of fantastic stories, I couldn't find anything that remotely resembled the plot that was in my head.

At this point, I still had no inclination to write anything, but eventually I stumbled across the awesome work of CaptainOzone (if you haven't read Oz's work, and are a fan of Merlin, then you need to check her stories out NOW - check out my list of favourite authors for a link to her work), and I was so completely drawn in that my love for fanfic was fully rekindled, and it wasn't long before I realised that simply reading it was not enough; I had to write it again.

And so the momentary burst of inspiration that flashed through me as I watched the finale became a fully formed story. At first I only planned a one-shot, but when I sat down to write it, I knew that it wasn't going to work, and that I would need to go right back to the beginning of the episode and add a ton of stuff to the existing scenes. So my one-shot became a 50k word story, and now I am firmly back in fanficland.

My stories...

I still had a couple of Harry Potter shots saved on my PC, and I have posted them here. They were written years ago, and while they are clearly the work of someone new to writing, I decided not to edit them as I liked the feeling of nostalgia that they gave me. I don't have any plans to revisit the Potter universe any time soon, but there is always the possibility that inspiration will still strike, as I still have a fondness for the boy wizard.

My main love at the moment is Merlin, though, and this is the fandom that I have a feeling will grip me for a long time to come.

Said and Unsaid (complete; cover art by The Heart of Camelot's awesomely talented Wil1969) - This story is my baby. Out of everything that I have ever written - both the huge amount of Potter fanfic and my original stories - this is the story that I put everything into, and it was a story that almost wrote itself. It literally poured out of me, and it was pretty much an unstoppable beast that would NOT leave me be. It's the story behind the scenes of the finale, and it goes into all of the details and consequences of Merlin's confession to Arthur that I feel the finale glossed over. The story is told from both Merlin and Arthur's POV, and it delves deeply into their minds as they both struggle to come to terms with the aftermath of both the magic reveal, and the events from Camlann. Obviously canon-based, this story has the inevitable tragic ending, so for anyone who wished for a different outcome, then you should probably avoid this at all costs. If you do decide to read, I have it on several readers' authority that I should give a severe tissue warning for it. So... arm yourselves if you are brave enough to indulge in my angst-ridden interpretation of the finale, and be ye warned.

The Musings of Merlin (cover art by the amazing Wil1969) - This collection of 100 word drabbles was a way for me to step away from the unrelenting emotional whump of 'Said', and allow myself a light-hearted break from angsty drama. The premise was to compose a drabble for each of the 65 episodes of Merlin, each of them told from the somewhat snarky POV of the warlock himself. Now completed after a long break, I am looking to post a companion set of drabbles from Arthur's perspective, so watch this space!

A Camelot Compendium (in progress, cover art once again by the super-talented Wil1969) - This is the home for my Merlin one-shots, and each 'chapter' that I add will be a self-contained story. So far there are seven shots posted, and I'll be adding to them as and when the muse strikes.

Currently working on...

As well as the drabbles and Merlin one-shots, I'd like to keep my writing momentum going by working on a multi-chapter story, too. I'm currently in two minds about a sequel to 'Said and Unsaid', but until I figure out whether I want to continue where my epilogue left off, or to go back a bit and write an AU ending to the show itself, I'm a little stuck. In the meantime...

Paranoia - (in progress; beautiful cover art by the lovely MildeAmasoj) I was having a PM conversation with one of my new friends (and someone who is incredibly supportive of my writing, plus an all-out fantastic reader and reviewer of my work) the other day, and I decided to ask if they would like to give me a prompt of sorts for a one-shot. Vaughntronic clearly shares a brain with me, as she came up with some wonderful ideas, full of lots of lovely, lovely whump and angst. Based on the first of her plot prompts, 'Paranoia' is a tag for 5x11 - "The Drawing of the Dark" - and the potential for huge amounts of angst is unbelievable, and far too much to be contained within a one-shot. I don't plan on the story reaching anywhere near the 50k wordcount of 'Said', but as I am mostly a 'pantser' when it comes to writing, the finished story could be anything from 10k words onwards... I'll just see where the muse takes me!

Last Few Bits of Rambling...

As a reader, I am not overly picky. I'm the original bookworm, and eat up any and all stories, regardless of pairings, plot, or deviancies from canon, though my fondness for emotional whump obviously plays a huge part in what I choose to read. What is an absolute must for me, though, is characterisation. If a character seems 'off', I can't warm to the story. I'm also not too nit-picky with spelling and grammar (I'm not a genius at these things myself, so I'll never throw stones at someone else for having the same problems), but I firmly believe in reading your own work as many times as possible before publishing it online. You won't catch every little mistake (heaven knows I find at least five mistakes every time I re-read something I've posted myself), but you should be able to find glaringly obvious faults. If you can't be bothered to read your work and present it in as best a condition as you possibly can, then it tells me that you aren't invested in your own story, and if a writer isn't invested in their own work, then I'm not going to warm to it. There are plenty of people who love to BETA read, so if your editing skills aren't up to much, take the time to find someone who will do it for you. You will feel so much better about your work, and your readers will thank you for it.

As a writer, my strengths are definitely angst, drama, and emotional whump. I just love making people cry. This might be considered slightly evil, but I'm not going to apologise for it, because I know that I am definitely not alone in having an almost unhealthy obsession with making favourite characters suffer as much as it is possible for them to suffer. Most of my stories will lean towards this darker side of storytelling, and honestly, my mind is pretty murky, so when I say dark, I really mean it. Occasionally, though, I swing to the extreme opposite in terms of tone, and my nuttier side emerges in the form of what might be considered lunacy. Again, I make no apologies for this, as the lunacy provides a little break from the darker stuff that I generally write.

If you have gotten through this ramble, then I salute you. And if you have ever read and enjoyed anything that I've posted, then I thank you - from the bottom of my grateful heart. I write for my own enjoyment, but if I manage to entertain anyone else at the same time, then I am a very happy bunny.

My pen name is Ellessaria, but you can call me pretty much anything you like (most people shorten it to 'Elle', or simply just 'E'). Just don't ever call me 'Bob', because it reminds me of the crazy killer from Twin Peaks, and frankly, that's kind of disturbing...

UPDATE MAY 20th 2016

Argh! Still no time to write (and nothing to write on either, since my now one year old killed my laptop with an outpouring of milk), but I lurk as much as I can, and still love the Merlin fandom. I WILL eventually get back to writing, and finishing my poor neglected multi-chapter story. I'm so sorry to have left people hanging off such an awful cliff, but life unfortunately gets in the way. Love to all! *blows kisses*

UPDATE SEPTEMBER 12TH 2017

I finally have a laptop! Yay! I'm going to need to have a read through of Paranoia to refresh my memory, but - for anyone who is interested - I can finally get back to it after around two years of neglect. *blush* Might try a shot first to ease my rusty muse back into play. Either way, see ya soon!

E x

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