Info:

I'm too old, but I do also have a Ao3 account under the same name if you would like to read my writing in a slighter better format. Sometimes I tend to update more consistently there as well.

Hates:

When people bash characters or pairings. Fanfiction and fanart are free enterprises so everyone has the right to like what they like.
When random people attack fledgling writers for kicks instead of providing actual writing advice.

Some Useful Condescending Phrases

Some useful phrases to use as an Evil Overlord as given by Steve Meredith. These humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).

1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13) No, my powers can only be used for good.
14) How about never? Is never good for you?
15) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
17) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20) Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26)Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He was outlived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP: We shall remember