Harry Potter has been banged up for ten years in the hellhole brig of Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit, and his traitorous brother, the not-really-boy-who-lived, has royally messed things up. After meeting Fate and Death, Harry is given a second chance to squash Voldemort, dodge a thousand years in prison, and snatch everything his hated brother holds dear. H/Hr/LL/DG/GW.

He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!" DM/HG. PostHBP. Now complete with epilogue.

A satirical comedy focused around Post-5th-Year stories and tropes that surround them.

When Hermione finds a way to bring Sirius back from the veil, her actions change the rest of the war. Little does she know her spell restoring him to life provokes magic she doesn't understand and sets her on a path that ends with a Time-Turner. *Art by Freya Ishtar*

Bellatrix's torture of Hermione uncovers a long-kept secret. The young witch learns her true origins in a story that shows the beginning and end of the Wizarding wars as Hermione learns about her biological father and the blood magic he dabbled in that will control her future.

Harry escapes the Dursleys with a unique bout of accidental magic and eventually winds up at the Grangers' house. Now, he has what he always wanted: a loving family, and he'll need their help to take on the magical world and vanquish the dark lord who has pursued him from birth. Years 1-4. Sequel posted.

Sirius decides to stay in England after escaping Hogwarts and makes protecting Harry his priority. AU GOF.

One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it? AU, sequel to "Harry's First Detention". OVER FIVE MILLION HITS!

When Draco comes to live with Harry and his relatives for the summer after fifth year, Harry thinks life at Privet Drive has reached an all-time low. Little does either boy know what surprises lie in store for them, as unexpected discoveries will be made and long-held preconceptions will be called into question. WARNINGS: Abuse, depression, suicide ideation, mentions of rape

For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would become a Dark Lord. For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would take down the Ministry or die trying. He should have known that Hermione and Ron wouldn't let him do it alone.

11 yr old Harry misses the Hogwarts Express. Snape is sent to find out why. What he finds changes any preconceived notions he might have had about the Boy-Who-Lived. AU, manipulative!Dumbledore, DE's, Voldy, but no horcruxes. UPDATED COMPLETED 2015

In her sixth year, Dumbledore makes Hermione a key figure in a plan to help Harry defeat Voldemort. (It's difficult to summarize this without spoilers— HG/SS; there's a Time Turner involved but probably not how you expect; the story really gets started in Chapter Three.)

Sixth year fic. Examines H/Hr in context of his unwanted wealth and fame, and her need for independence. H struggles for magical control over a mysterious, powerful fifth element, receives an inheritance and has a dalliance that ends in disaster.

Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.

The presence of a foreign soul may have unexpected side effects on a growing child. I am Lord Volde...Harry Potter. I'm Harry Potter. In which Harry is insane, Hermione is a Dark Lady-in-training, Ginny is a minion, and Ron is confused.

Because of a student death, new measures are being taken to screen students for abuse. With Dumbledore facing an enquiry, Snape is in charge of making sure every student receives an examination. Abused!Harry. Character death. Sevitis. In answer to the "New Measures for Screening Abuse" challenge at Potions and Snitches. Yes, it is a "Snape is Harry's biological father" story.

AU. Time Travel. Snape goes back in time, holding the knowledge of what is to come if he fails. No longer holding a grudge, he seeks to shape Harry into the greatest wizard of all time, starting on the day Hagrid took Harry to Diagon Alley. No Horcruxes.

A fellow Sherlock author asked me to put together a comprehensive guide to writing both gay and straight erotic fiction, as well as lists of sexy words and some general writing tips. Please feel free to use. Includes Table of Contents and References.

Hermione overhears something she shouldn't concerning Professor Snape and decides that maybe the House-elves aren't the only ones in need of protection.

Harry is left with the Dursleys just after his godfather had died. One thing leads to the other and Harry is fed up with being a puppet. He breaks free and finds help. And boy, does he start rocking the boat.

When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!

AU, from Order of the Phoenix onwards. Hermione only wanted to learn Healing; she discovers that Professor Snape is a human being after all, and his actions dramatically shape the course of the war as events unfold. Complete.

What if the founders built in a safe guard to protect incoming students from abuse at home, in the form of the hat? How would the hat react to Harry's so called childhood? Rated for language and expected violence. As complete as it is ever going to get. Revised as another story.

"After Darkness, Light." A chance meeting ten years after the war may not be just a coincidence, and may prove to have very far-reaching consequences. A story of many things, but primarily of healing. SS/HG; rated M for later chapters. Complete.

A letter causes Harry to learn some surprising things about his lineage, a different twist on the usual Harry in Azkaban story line.

Harry allows Ron to compete for him in the tournament. How does he fare? This is a Harry/Hermione story with SERIOUSLY Idiot!Ron Bashing. If that isn't what you like, please read something else. Complete but I do expect to add an alternate ending or two.

Not for Weasley fans, dark beginning and rating is for safety. A Re-do with payback on the menu H/Hr Complete

Beginning during the Goblet of Fire, Harry looks to different friends for support after both Ron and Hermione refuse to believe that he did not put his name in the Goblet. Including one unexpected friend: Daphne Greengrass.

Voldemort didn't just give Harry some of his powers that night. He gave him all of his memories. With them, his allies and friends, Harry shall change the Wizarding World like no one ever before. LightHarry. GoodDumbledore. Chaotic magic. COMPLETE!

Professor McGonagall has watched the Dursleys all day and can see what sort of people they are. When Dumbledore leaves Harry on their doorstep and disappears, she takes him away. HHr

If you are forced to participate in a competition that's reserved for adults only, doesn't that mean you should be considered an adult? Harry gets some much needed help and advice before having some fun by allowing his marauder heritage out to play. H/Hr

As Hermione, Harry, and Ron are about to begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts, they learn some surprising and dangerous information regarding what it means to be Pure in the wizarding world. HG/SS with H/D. AU after OotP.

In third year, Harry decided to quit Divination, following Hermione. Having to take a substitute course, he end up choosing Ancient Runes and find himself to be quite gifted. Smart Harry. Slightly manipulative. Rated M for later subjects and language.

Five years after Voldemort's victory over the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter is a man on the run. But what happens when he is thrown into his twelve-year old body in a freak accident? Non-DH compliant. Complete.

So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.

Not all of James died that night. Not all of Harry lived. The Triwizard Tournament as it should have been and a hero discovering who he really wants to be.

COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.

It takes two thieves, a Dark Wizard, and a Tentacle Monster named Tim.

This is a constantly growing list of all the spells and creatures my twisted mind can think up of or has read about, many things found in here are the property of JK Rowling, so please don't sue.