That was fun, wild, and weird! Thanks to the author and all the contributors and I'll be checking out everyone's other posts.

Aw yes, we poor deluded males, so sad.

"My god," Hermione's voice cracked, "I didn't even know that position was possible."
Girls dorms tend to be very educational.
"Girl talk" tends to be much more in depth and clinically accurate as I found out (to my horror/embarrassment) one late night of drinking and griping in the female security barracks, I am still suspicious why I ended up being the only male still there at that point.

Thanks for sharing! Good laughs for sure :D

This is an absolute gem of a crackfic, and I am thrilled to have found it. Apparently I need to take another look at fics from before I started reading fanfiction to see what else I've missed.

How to defeated the dark lord with fertility charms:

1. Trick him to enter a locked area. (Founder item, Deadly Hollow, ect...)
2. Lock him in room and stop his ability to exit. (Wards, knockout gas, potions, ect...)
3. find safe way to administer potions or spells increasing his or a (Friend for him) Libido. both if possible.
4. Have (Friend) introduced into environment.
5a. Keep subjects drugged and ideally without water. (Death)
5b. Keep subjects drugged and with minimum for survival (In time out)

More intelligence than your average Pureblood that is! Most of them it seems have bred themselves and their families almost into squibhood. They have the perfect example of the end result of the constant inbreeding in the Gaunt family yet refuse to see it.

Lol that was fun!

I did look up the movie the first time I read this. And even though I really didn't need it as I figure it out from what went on later it was funny. Poor Ron has no idea what he's gotten himself into! But it'll sure be interesting and fun for him! I do really like the idea of Harry and Hermione being paid to chase down and arrest themselves by the DMLE. It was pure genius on Harry's part to suggest using some the the funds to hunt the Fox and Hound to fight Vultureworst. After all, it's not like Fudge would make any available for that without Malfoy's giving him the idea in the first place.

look them to the bedrock muhahahaha leave no book unyoinked

cool cool story. :)

Is this gunna be Mr. Jeremy

Oh no, not him

My father has a t-shirt that says that actually. "Youth and Talent are no match for Age and Treachery."

How...can a seagull land on the Ministry? It is UNDERGROUND!