FORMERLY BERRY'S AMBITIONS.

An important update as of February 7th, 2019.

It's been a while, hasn't it? Nearly three years since I so much as touched this website. A lot has happened since then - a lot of growth and self-reflection on my behalf. I started writing publicly, right here on FFNet, when I was still in middle school. Telling stories is my passion - it's something I take very seriously and that means a great deal to me. It's something I hope to make a career out of. And as I've gotten older and have learned more about the craft, I've come to the realization that a lot of the content I wrote in my younger years is no longer reflective of my views today. Looking back at the content I wrote a decade ago (particularly the atrocity that is Abducted), I'm absolutely appalled by some of the stuff that's in there. So much of my old work is laden with misogyny, the romanticization of really disgusting and evil things (particularly evil men like a certain horror villain who shall not be named) and - for lack of a better term - completely anti-feminist views. The women in these stories (i.e. Brenda) were treated appallingly, used as plot devices to "heal" their male interest(s) or as rewards to be won for "good" behaviour. They weren't given their own story arcs or character development; they were treated as props. It's awful. It's beyond awful. And don't even get me started on how my younger self hand-waved away completely unforgivable actions with the excuse of "he had a tragic backstory so that justifies the evil shit he does in the future". That shit doesn't fly with me now. That's not something I ever have any intention of writing again, and not something I enjoy stumbling upon in fandom. At all.

What I'm getting at is that I cannot, in good conscience, leave something like that floating around the internet. I've been toying with the idea of posting a disclaimer on some of my old fics for years now, letting any potential readers know that I no longer enjoy or condone these stories and that they should be used as an example of how not to write. I don't want somebody to stumble upon stories like Abducted and think anything written in there is acceptable. Contrary to popular belief on the internet, fiction does have a major influence on reality, and I don't want anyone getting hurt because of some dumb shit I wrote when I was a teenager.

So unless I think of another solution or change my mind, I'll likely be taking a lot of my old fanfiction on here down within the next 48 hours or so. If / when I do, I'll post another update on my profile explaining to any potential readers where they went and why they're gone. I apologize if this upsets any diehard fans of my old fanfiction, particularly my HHE fanfiction, but this is for my own peace of mine and hopefully for the good of my audience.

I don't see myself posting any new stories on here in the future. If I ever do decide to dabble in fanfiction again, it will likely be uploaded on Archive of Our Own, which I'll link in my profile.

- C.