Hello everyone! I am ShadowsOfHades.

I like books, Marvel, Broadway, books, reading, writing fan fiction, books, watching cooking shows, Percy Jackson, books, Harry Potter, most dystopian series, My Hero Academia, and books.

This site will be used for my book-and-movie-related fanfics, like Percy Jackson and Artemis Fowl. For my My Hero Academia fanfics, check out my account on Archive of Our Own, which is under the same name (ShadowsOfHades).

Favorite Series Lord of the Rings

Favorite Movie - Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (It would have been The Phantom of the Opera but the ending of the movie disappointed me)

Favorite TV Show - The Big Bang Theory or The Resident or Jeopardy (me: lists the only three shows that I watch)

Favorite Anime - My Hero Academia (It's also the only anime I watch)

Favorite Food Anything Chocolate

Favorite Subject - History/Mythology

Favorite Drink - Chai Tea Latte

Favorite Vacation Spot - Ireland

Favorite Color - Black

Favorite Song - Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance

Favorite Band/Artist - My Chemical Romance

Favorite Musical/Play - The Phantom of the Opera

Favorite Candy - Crunchie Bar (made by Cadbury)

Twilight Team - Jacob

DOWN ONCE MORE TO THE DUNGEONS OF MY BLACK DESPAIR

DOWN WE PLUNGE TO THE PRISON OF MY MIND

DOWN THAT PATH TO THAT DARKNESS DEEP AS HELL!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

P.S. Kudos if you get the reference :)

FAVORITE CHARACTERS

HP - Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Luna Lovegood, Bellatrix Lestrange

PJO - Percy Jackson, Leo Valdez, Nico di Angelo

MCU - Loki, Captain America/Steve Rogers, Dr. Strange/Steven Strange, The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes, Ant Man/Scott Lang

LotR - Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Aragorn, Legolas

Twilight - Jacob Black, Seth Clearwater

Divergent - Uriah Pedrad

Hunger Games - Johanna Mason

Renegades - Adrian Everheart

Lunar Chronicles - Cinder, Cress, Wolf, Thorne

Avatar: The Last Airbender - Zuko, Sokka

My Hero Academia - Izuku Midoriya, Shouto Todoroki, Hitoshi Shinsou, Shouta Aizawa, Eijirou Kirishima

The School for Good and Evil - Agatha

DCCU - Aquaman, Batman

Phantom of the Opera - The Phantom

Les Miserables - Jean Valjean, Fantine, Gavroche, Eponine

The Maze Runner - Thomas, Newt, Minho

Artemis Fowl - Artemis

LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTERS

HP - Ron Weasley, Percy Weasley, Dolores Umbridge

PJO - Octavian

MCU - Star Lord/Peter Quill, Odin

LotR - Saruman

Twilight - Bella Swan, Edward Cullen

Divergent - Caleb Prior

Hunger Games - Peeta Mellark

Renegades - Nova Artino/Nightmare/Insomnia, Genissa Clark/Frostbite

Lunar Chronicles - Linh Adri, Linh Pearl

Avatar: The Last Airbender - Katara, Mai

My Hero Academia - Minoru Mineta, Enji Todoroki/Endeavor

The School for Good and Evil - Tedros, Sophie

DCCU - Superman

Phantom of the Opera - Raoul

Les Miserables - Cosette

The Maze Runner - Teresa, Gally

Artemis Fowl - Angeline Fowl, Orion Fowl, Opal Koboi

FAVORITE SHIPS

HP - Severus/Lily, Luna/Neville

PJO - Percy/Nico, Nico/Will (not at the same time as Percy/Nico though)

MCU - Natasha/Bruce, Wanda/Vision, Tony/Pepper, Steve/Sharon Carter

LotR - Legolas/Gimli

Twilight - Bella/Jacob

Divergent - None

Hunger Games - Gale/Katniss

Renegades - None

Lunar Chronicles - Cinder/Kai, Cress/Thorne, Scarlet/Wolf

Avatar: The Last Airbender - Zuko/Katara

My Hero Academia - Izuku Midoriya (Deku)/Shouto Todoroki, Eijirou Kirishima/Katsuki Bakugou, Shouta Aizawa/Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic)

The School for Good and Evil - None

DCCU - None

Phantom of the Opera - Christine/Phantom

Les Miserables - Jean Valjean/Fantine, Marius/Eponine

The Maze Runner - None

Artemis Fowl - Holly/Trouble Kelp

LEAST FAVORITE SHIPS (Not including poly, incest, or pedophilic ships because those are the worst)

HP - Ron/Hermione, Draco/Hermione, Draco/Harry

PJO - Percy/Annabeth, Percy/Zoe, Percy/Bianca, Percy/Jason, Percy/Rachel

MCU - Rocket/Groot

LotR - Frodo/Samwise

Twilight - Bella/Edward, Jacob/Renesmee (not sure if this counts as pedophilic so I'm going to put it anyways)

Divergent - None

Hunger Games - Katniss/Peeta

Renegades - Adrian/Nova

Lunar Chronicles - None

Avatar: The Last Airbender - Zuko/Aang, Katara/Aang, Mai/Zuko

My Hero Academia - Enji Todoroki (Endeavor)/Yagi Toshinori (All Might), Yagi Toshinori (All Might)/Shouta Aizawa, Katsuki Bakugou/Izuku Midoriya

The School for Good and Evil - Agatha/Tedros, Agatha/Sophie, Sophie/The School Master

DCCU - Batman/Superman

Phantom of the Opera - Christine/Raoul

Les Miserables - Jean Valjean/Javert

The Maze Runner - Thomas/Teresa

Artemis Fowl - Holly/Artemis, Artemis/Opal

CHARACTER DEATHS THAT I WISH DID NOT HAPPEN

HP - Severus Snape, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Hedwig, Fred Weasley

PJO - Charles Beckendorf, Leo Valdez (not permanent but it counts), Jason Grace, Bob, Damasen, Festus, Ethan Nakamura

MCU - Loki (multiple times), Captain America (not really a character death but it still counts to me)

LotR - Smeagol/Gollum

Twilight - None

Divergent - Uriah Pedrad

Hunger Games - Wiress, Rue

Renegades - Phobia

Lunar Chronicles - None

Avatar: The Last Airbender - None

My Hero Academia - None

The School for Good and Evil - None

DCCU - None

Phantom of the Opera - The Phantom

Les Miserables - Jean Valjean, Fantine, Eponine, Gavroche

The Maze Runner - Chuck

Artemis Fowl - Artemis Fowl II (not permanent but it still counts)

CHARACTER DEATHS THAT I WISH HAD ACTUALLY HAPPENED

HP - Ron Weasley, Dolores Umbridge

PJO - Octavian

MCU - Star Lord

LotR - None

Twilight - Edward Cullen

Divergent - Caleb Prior

Hunger Games - Peeta Mellark

Renegades - Nova Artino/Nightmare/Insomnia

Lunar Chronicles - None

Avatar: The Last Airbender - None

My Hero Academia - Endeavor, Minoru Mineta

The School for Good and Evil - Sophie, Tedros

DCCU - None

Phantom of the Opera - Raoul

Les Miserables - None

The Maze Runner - Teresa

Artemis Fowl - None

*I copied most of this stuff from the8horcrux's profile but all of the answers to the quizzes and stuff is mine*

WRITER'S CHECKLIST

You have the last chapters of the story done without even thinking of the characters names.

You often imagine your books becoming movies.

Spell check is your best friend.

You'll spend an hour trying to find one word because you wouldn't dare use a synonym. If I use a word to describe a thing, and then use the exact same word to describe the exact same thing later in the story, I have to change it because it bothers me

Not being able to write is like not being able to pee, you just can't hold it in for very long.

You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.

Things that are written badly annoy you and make you want to rewrite them better.

You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself. I write less jokes, more sarcastic humor

You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time. The words "and" and "the" are the banes of my existence

If you are not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.

When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away and write like ten times more than everyone else, including the teacher. I'm not kidding; one time my teacher gave us a creative writing project with a six page limit, she gave me an extension, and I wound up writing 45 pages

You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.

You put off the last chapter of a story because you don't want it to end.

If a story, movie, show, etc, finishes without a suitable ending, you have a powerful need to write it better. Isn't that what most fanfiction is though?

You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story. I need food when I write otherwise I go insane (more than I already am, of course)

You are in love with the Thesaurus.

You dream of new stories.

You often revisit some of your old stories. And I cry at the absolutely shitty writing

Someone can call your name twenty times and you still don't hear them if they're writing.

You would rather write than go out.

Your/you're and their/there/they're are errors that send you into an apoplectic fit. They bother me so much... I hate when other writers discount them and don't pay attention to them because they are different words with different meanings

You get cranky if you don't get to write that day. Thankfully that doesn't happen too much anymore since I'm at home all day from quarantine

You've heard/seen/thought something and thought, I need to write that down.

You wake up in the middle of the night and scrabble for a pen and paper you keep next to your bed to write down a scene to make the voices be quiet so you can get some sleep. What do you mean, wake up? I'm still awake in the middle of the night because INSOMNIA

Getting a scene finished is more important than the bathroom or food.

A blank wall becomes a screen where the scene you're writing plays write in front of your eyes.

Even though you try your hardest to resist, you sometimes find yourself correcting your own grammar.

You've apologized out loud to a character after doing something horrible to them.

Score: 23/27

GUY/GIRL QUIZ

GUY

you love hoodies Whoever invented the hoodie should be given a Nobel Prize

you love jeans

dogs are better than cats. My dog Jameson is the best dog; he has anger issues and he gives literal hugs

it's hilarious when people get hurt Does this make me a bad person

you've played with/against boys on a team

shopping is torture It depends

at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter

you own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega

sad movies suck

you own/ed an X-Box I have a PS3 and that's a console gaming system so I'm saying yes

played Hotwheel cars as a kid

you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers

you watch sports on Tv I'll watch most sports, just not soccer, track, or golf, also known as the most boring sports on the face of the Earth

you go to your dad for advice

you own like a trillion baseball caps

you like to go to high school football games

you used to/do collect football/soccer/baseball cards

baggy pants are cool to wear

it's kinda weird to have a sleepover with a bunch of people I'll do it with 4 at most; any more just make it uncomfortable

green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors All of them are great, especially black

you love to go crazy and not care what people think

you love sports Hockey, college wrestling, and American football are the best

you talk with food in your mouth

sleep with your socks on at night I do sometimes but other times I don't

Score: 18/25

GIRL

cats are better than dogs No way on Earth. Cat's are devil spawn.

you wear lip gloss/chapstick Nope

you love to shop Again, depends

you wear eyeliner

you wear the color pink

you go to your mom for advice

you consider cheerleading a sport Not really...

you hate wearing the color black How could anyone hate wearing black? It goes with everything!

you like hanging out at the mall

you like getting manicure and/or pedicures

you like wearing jewelry

skirts are a big part of your wardrobe

shopping is one of your favorite hobbies

you don't like the movie Star Wars It is an outrage that anyone would even consider saying yes to this question

you were in gymnastics/dance in grade 2 My mom was a gymnast so she wanted me to try it

it takes you around/about one hour to shower and get dressed

you smile a lot more than you should Haha I never smile unless it's an evil villain smile

you have more than ten pairs of shoes

you care about what you look like Only on important occasions

you like wearing dresses when you can

you like wearing body spray/cologne/perfume

you love the movies I feel like this is kind of gender neutral

you used to play with dolls as a kid Dolls are terrifying

like putting make up on someone else for the joy/joke of it

like being the star of everything

Score: 3/25

THE 27 COMMANDMENTS OF FANFICTION

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for spelling and grammar errors. The Fanfction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for a reason.

2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses. Forget 100, I'm disappointed if an author posts a chapter less than 1,000 words

3. Thou shalt not put Author's Notes in the middle of a story.

4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a story, unless the the characters are actually texting. This bothers me more than I care to admit

5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and one only, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6. Apply the above five to POV's as well. I don't mind when POVs change by chapter, just not in the middle of a chapter, and it has to make sense

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing in your story. It probably is quite funny.

8. Thou shalt not use ,;, or :( to show the emotion exhibited by the character.

9. Thou shalt try to keep characters in character!

10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame

11. The Authors Note is not a spot for personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase 'first fic' in the summary. I actually don't mind this...

13. Thy created characters must not have names exceeding five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name exceed five words in length.

14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story as a character- yes, we know that thy is in love with thyself but we don't need to read about how thy ends up with the main character. I hate self-inserts, as well as stories where an OC is the main character; it just rubs me the wrong way

15. If thou art writing a story that differs from the original plot line, thou shalt point it out in the beginning.

16. Thou shalt not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

17. Thou shalt show not tell.

18. Thou shalt NEVER use the phrase 'I suck at summaries' in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art.

20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word 'Okay', right. ' 'K' and 'Ok' are not acceptable compromises.

21. Thou shalt only use cliches when (a. thou art writing a parody and (b. find a new and interesting twist to make cliches bearable to thine readers.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers will be confus-ed.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READERS AND THE FANFICTION GODS. THOU HAST AN ENTER KEY FOR A REASON.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers. I made that mistake with my first fanfiction; someone pointed it out to me in a review, so I read the story through the eyes of a regular reader and I was horrified

WAYS TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

7. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

8. Order a Diet Water when you go out to eat, with a serious face.

9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

10. Sing Along At The Opera. I actually do this I'm not kidding

11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

14. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

16. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

Copy and Paste This To Make People who read bios Smile.

Advice That Will Save Your Life In A Not-Boring Way

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Waffles in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

-It's not my fault it fell! Gravity made it go down and Newton discovered gravity, so blame Newton!

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.

-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice? The epitome of laziness right here

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. Katsuki Bakugou's life motto

-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." But I think a gun helps, you know? If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people, would you?

-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you exactly why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist. I think Einstein managed to do that, too...

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. Teachers must live by this rule. I know I do...

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-I'm the type of person who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

-Whoever said that nothing's impossible obviously hasn't tried slamming a revolving door.

-Whoever said "Words don't hurt" obviously hasn't gotten a hard-back encyclopedia thrown at his head before.

-If you can't beat 'em, join'em. If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If you can't kill 'em, you’re screwed.

-Rhetorical questions are persuasive, aren't they?

-He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke at first.

-Silence is gold. Duct tape is silver.

-If you do it, you'll regret it. If you don't do it, you'll regret it. Either way, you're still gonna regret it, so why not just do it?

-I looked up at the stars one night and thought, "Where the heck did my ceiling go?!"

-As an older, more mature adult, your job is to...make fun of the little kids!

-There are easier things in life than finding a good lover. Like nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

-What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you realize that you're on fire? Do you remember to stop, drop and roll? Or do you just start running around in circles, screaming, "I'M ON FIRE!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!"

-If a safety pin, duct tape or a band-aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem.

-Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.

-A man walked into a bar and said..."OUCH!!"

-War doesn't determine who's right, it determines who's left.

-Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

-I went to the dark side. Yeah, they lied about the cookies. And yet I'm still there...

-OH MY GOSH! THE RAIN'S WET! Query: Is water wet? In my opinion, no it isn't. It makes things wet, but it is not wet itself

-I'm not AD--Ooh, look, a butterfly!

-ADOST: Attention Deficit-Ohh Shiny Thing

-I reject your reality and substitute it with my own. Because mine is definitely better

-Be the kind of person that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil goes, "Oh shit..."

-It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces. It is a skill I possess in spades, along with the inherent ability to choke on air

-ADHD writer: Once upon a -- no...There was once a -- no...THE END! .

-You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades. I'm a geek and proud of it

-The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I don't blame them

-I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face.

-I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good, either.

-It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

-This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

-I didn't say you were stupid, I said you are stupid. There's nothing past tense about it.

-Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

-I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

-You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

-When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

-I hear your silence loud and clear

-If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

-There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

-Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!

-"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

-You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

-If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

-There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

-Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive

-Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

-A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths

-Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

-The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

-'I would love to have a battle of the wits with you but you appear unarmed.

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CONTEMPLATE LIFE

-Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

-Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

-Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

-Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

-Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

-Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

-Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

-If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

-So what's the speed of dark?

-How come abbreviated is such a long word?

-Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

-A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. Shouldn't that be where the work stops?

-If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

-Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?

-How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

-Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

-If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

-Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

-Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

-Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

-Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

-Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

-Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

-Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

-If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

-Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? Don't listen to your parents kids, violence is very effective

-Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

-If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

-Why is it that 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged!?

-Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

-If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

-Can bald men get lice?

-Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

-Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

-Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

-Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

-"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

-Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

-Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

-Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

-Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Or those two ticks

-Why do sheep not shrink when it rains?

-Why are they called "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

-If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

-Why is it called common sense if it's so rare? I would like to thank whoever came up with this amazing sentence

-Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

THINGS TO MAKE YOU QUESTION SOCIETY'S INTELLIGENCE

1. Dog Medication: Warning: Use care when operating a vehicle. Don't worry, my dog has his driver's license

2. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep away from children. Who uses it then?

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

4. Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire. Even Ariel is smarter than this idiot; she at least asks why it burns

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking .

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not to be used as protection from a tornado. Did someone actually try this?

7. Frisbee: Warning: May contain small parts. Have I been using a frisbee wrong all my life?

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep out of children. Well I should hope so

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. So the government prosecutes dead people?

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping. What moron decided that this was a good idea?

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap. This makes me wonder what irregular soap is

12. Puzzle: Warning: Some assembly required. Oh really. I had no idea.

13. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. Well there goes my time for doing hair

14. On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. Don't worry; it's just a suggestion!

15. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Do not turn upside down. Too late

16. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Warning: Product will be hot after heating. Is that not what the word 'heat' means?

17. On packaging for a Rowena iron: Warning: Do not iron clothes on body. Again, what dumbass tried this?

18. On Rolex Scooter: Warning: This product moves when used. It saddens me that some people would think otherwise

PERCY JACKSON QUIZ

1. Percabeth or Prachel?

I don't really ship Percabeth anymore, but I have to answer Percabeth. Perachel can go die in a hole.

2. Favorite guy character?

My favorite is Percy, but that's everyone's favorite, so I'm also going to say Nico.

3. Favorite girl character?

I don't know... I don't really have a favorite... Probably either Hazel or Clarisse

4. Favorite non-Big Three god?

Probably Hermes. He's the Greek equivalent of Loki, since he's the god of lies and trickery.

5. Favorite goddess?

Hestia.

6. Zeus, Poseidon, or Hades?

Poseidon, since he's the cool uncle who won't kill his nieces or nephews for trespassing in areas that literally MILLIONS of people go to every day (yes, millions of people go to the Underworld; think about it for a second)

7. Is Luke hot?

No. Just no. Although I do like his scar...

8. Would you join the hunters?

Not really.

9. Archery or sword fighting?'

Well, they both have their uses. Archery is long range while swords are short range, and they're both badass in a fight.

10. Iris Messaging or Hermes Express?

I don't know... Iris Messaging only works under certain conditions that are very hard to meet, and Hermes Express isn't as aesthetically cool.

11. Favorite Minor God/Goddess?

Easily Thanatos. God of death with big black wings and a touch that kills people? Yes please.

12. Favorite book?

PJO: The Lightning Thief
HoO: Son of Neptune
ToA: Hate all of them
Entire series: Son of Neptune

13. Least favorite?

PJO: The Titan's Curse
HoO: Blood of Olympus
ToA: Hate all of them
Entire series: the entirety of Trials of Apollo

14. Would you like to live year-round at Camp Half-Blood, or just in the summer?

Probably just the summer. I'd still want to see family and go to school and all that.

15. Favorite couple?

Canon: Will and Nico
Non-Canon: Percy and Nico

16. Are you a demigod?

Isn't it obvious?

17. Who would be your parent?

Hades.

18. Favorite minor character?

Probably the Stoll twins. They like to laugh at other people's suffering, especially the suffering that they caused themselves.

19. Ethan or Luke?

Ethan. He's got an eyepatch.

20. Favorite monster?

Tyson (yes I know he's not really a monster but he is technically a monster by genetics)

21. Camp Half-Blood or Camp Jupiter?

Camp Half-Blood. I'm definitely not Roman, and Camp Half-Blood is more like an actual summer camp, which seems more fun than a military base.

GODLY PARENT QUIZ

ZEUS (Jason and Thalia Grace)

You like being in charge

you often wish you could just zap someone with a thunder bolt I wish I could zap a lot of someones with a thunder bolt

you were voted Class President

you do what's best for everyone

you think you have what it takes to run for president

you think every problem has a solution

you love showing off

you like plane rides

you are hydrophobic

Score: 4/9

POSEIDON (Percy Jackson)

you feel at home in the water

your favorite vacation place is at the beach Not my absolute favorite but I still love it

you enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing etc.

you want to do something about the marine species being abused today I mean it would be nice but it's not my top priority

you visit the local pool on a regular basis

you swim professionally

you hate seafood Are you kidding I love seafood. Shrimp, lobster, calamari, octopus, tuna, oysters, crayfish, you name it

you never get seasick

You'd rather ride a boat than a plane No idea; they're both awesome

you are acrophobic Heights are exhilarating so no

Score: 6/10

HADES (Nico Di Angelo)

you're not that much of a people person

you like staying in the dark The light burns

you experience bad moods on a regular basis

you like listening to loud angry music Hell yes give me that Disturbed and Skillet

you spend most of your time alone

you think parties are something loud and annoying

you like to keep to yourself

all your closets are padlocked I don't like people touching my stuff

you write in a diary/journal

you feel most active at night The only reason I'm awake during the day is because of the three cups of tea that I drink when I get out of bed

Score: 9/10 (Yay)

DEMETER (Katie Gardner)

You own a garden

You like the great outdoors

you have a green thumb

you are an environmentalist

you have a special connections with animals

you're vegetarian

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world

you always check a product if it's environmentally/friendly

you love going to flower shops

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with

Score: 2/10

ARES (Clarisse La Rue)

you often start fights

you're a very aggressive type of person

you like watching wrestling College wrestling, not that MMA or WWE stuff

you're competitive

you like reading about war

you don't take crap from anybody

You have anger management

you never back away from a fight

everyone does what you say

you don't always think before you do something

Score: 7/10 (Wow I'm more Ares than I thought)

ATHENA (Annabeth Chase)

you have an insatiable thirst of knowledge

you're probably the only person that visits the library on a regular basis I'm not the only person...

half of your birthday presents last year were books more than half, actually

you like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies about it

You're one of the smartest people in your class

You mostly get grades above 90 in tests anything below a 95 is a failure to me

you get political jokes without asking people to explain them

you think it would be better if you were the president hell no I'm so disorganized the country would be in shambles

you have a huge shelf of books at home

you think vinyl pockets protectors are very useful

Score: 8/10

APOLLO (Will Solace, Lee Fletcher, Michael Yew)

you're very creative and artistic

you like listening to all kinds of music in general

you always feel sunny and optimistic Yeah definitely not; my mom has been calling me a cynic and a pessimist ever since I could talk

you are talented at drawing

you like writing poetry

you can play at least three musical instruments

you like going to art museums

you almost always win 1st place in art contests

you have straight As in Art on your report card it's basically a participation class so yeah

Your school notebook had more doodles than notes

Score: 4/10

HUNTER OF ARTEMIS (Zoe Nightshade, Bianca Di Angelo)

You dislike boys in general

a deer is one of your favorite animals

You can shoot targets

You like silver

you like the moon better than the sun

Zoe Nightshade is awesome She's okay...

you love wild animals

You spend most of your time outdoors

You love to move around the place

Hunting is not cruel if it's to hunt down monsters Or if it's to hunt down dinner

Score: 4/10

HEPHAESTUS (Bad Boy Supreme, Team Leo, Mr. McShizzle, Charles Beckendorf)

You have a way with tools

You build awesome things during your free time

You're the best at wood shop in your class

Metal working is your forte

You have your own tool box

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots

You're a techie

You often have carpentry projects

You dream of being a carpenter

You aren't afraid of fire

Score: 2/10 (I'm kind of disappointed I like Hephaestus)

APHRODITE (Silena Beauregard, Piper McLean)

Every guy/girl swoons for you I wish

you like putting make up

you naturally smell good I have no idea

you never experience a bad hair day

you're favorite activity is clothes shopping

you're always at the front of every trend

you're the popular girl/guy at your school Ha nope

You're often invited to parties

You're motto is "it's never a party without me"

You look yourself in the mirror on a regular basis

Score: 0/10 Um okay

HERMES (Luke Castellan, Travis and Connor Stoll)

you like pick pocketing your friends I once took my friend's math journal as a joke and he didn't even realize it was gone until the next day

you're a prankster

you're a speed demon HELL YEAH LET'S GO

you consider your self restless

You're the best speaker in the class

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits I mean I'm pretty decent at it but I like to plan ahead more

You're inventive and resourceful

You often start arguments

You never lost a debate (I've lost so many debates to my dad...)

You like making witty and sarcastic comments

Score: 7/10

DIONYSUS (Dakota, Castor, Pollux)

You're the life of the party

You like wine

You've probably tasted every alcohol drink out there

You can finish a martini in less than a minute

you have a happy, cheerful disposition

You're a foodie

You like going to social events and mingling with people HA NOPE

You like trying out new food

You feel that you're abundant in life

You think that too much of anything is bad Everything in moderation

Score: 3/10

1. Hades 9/10 (Yay!!!!)

2. Athena 8/10

3. Ares 7/10

3. Hermes 7/10

5. Poseidon 6/10

6. Zeus 4/9

7. Apollo 4/10

7. Hunters of Artemis 4/10

9. Dionysus 3/10

10. Hephaestus 2/10

11. Aphrodite 0/10

THE LESSONS LEARNED IN PERCY JACKSON

1. When in doubt, find the dam snack bar-The Titans Curse

2. With great power comes a great need to take a nap-The Last Olympian I love this line; thank you Nico

3. Paradises are places that can get you killed- The Battle of the Labyrinth

4. Gods get offended easily. Then they blow stuff up.- The Titans Curse

5. You can fight monsters, see Annabeth, and make things go BOOM at the same time.-The Battle of the Labyrinth I like blowing up stuff...

6. You can't fix a person like a machine.-The Battle of the Labyrinth Unfortunately I have found this to be true

7. Monster will vaporize when sliced by a celestial bronze sword.-The Battle of the Labyrinth

8. Avoid poisonous swords or you'll die, after you shrivel slowly to dust-The Battle of the Labyrinth

9. Anything is possible: including blue food and that Percy can pass seventh grade - The Sea of Monsters

10. People, and horses, who call Mr. D. "the wine dude" end up in a bottle of Merlot.- The Titans Curse

11. Three kids can drown in a really big bathtub.- The Lightning Thief

12. Everything strange washes up in Miami-The Sea of Monsters

13. You can't enjoy practical jokes when you feel like one.-The Last Olympian

14. Just say hello to the poodle.-The Lightning Thief

15. When you need Tantalus to go away, tell him to chase a donut. -The Sea of Monsters

16. Even heroes drool in their sleep- The Lightning Thief

17. When things seem bad enough, they usually breathe fire.-The Sea of Monsters

18. When barnyard animals don't want to kill you, they want food.-The Lightning Thief

19. Don't blow your nose when someone near you is running from skeletons.-The Titans Curse

20. Don't beat a god in a video game- he might want your soul. -The Last Olympian

POTTER PROBLEMS (Sourced from Pottermore)

Feeling victimized because you have to lug suitcases and bags every time you go on vacation instead of using an Undetectable Extension Charm like Hermione. I can never bring all of the books that I want to bring!!

Noticing distinctive birthmarks or markings on strangers and spending way too much time wondering what kind of Animagus they are.

Spotting an owl and expecting it to stop and deliver your post.

Whispering Lumos every time you turn on a light/ Nox every time you turn it off.

When all you want is a warming Butterbeer-seriously, is that too much to ask? I love Butterbeer

Finding yourself on an inconsolable heap on the couch after re-reading your favorite character's death even though you've read it hundreds of times and knew it was coming. Snape...

Making random hissing noises at snakes hoping that your Parseltongue has been lying dormant all these years and one day, they'll answer you back. Why do so many people hate snakes? They're actually really cute!

The abject horror at finding out that one of your friends hasn't read the Harry Potter series, followed by a serious internal debate at why you're friends with them in the first place. Not joking I've actually done this

... followed by an indescribable jealousy because they have such a glorious journey of discovery ahead of them. Very true

Experiencing a kind of rage that only sending a Howler will soothe. An angry text or a sharply worded email just isn't the same. Can't even tell you how often this happens

Learning how to knit so you can recreate the socks that Dobby made for Harry.

Eyeing up eccentrically dressed strangers and wondering if they're wizards in disguise.

When you're stuck outside on a freezing cold day, lamenting the fact that you're not Hermione and can't conjure up warming blue fire in a jar.

Shouting Alohamora confidently when you're locked out, only to discover that you're still locked out because that's a stick you're holding, not a wand.

People catch you reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone/Any Harry Potter book and say, "Haven't you already read that one? cough cough MY PARENTS cough

Binge watching all the films and giving yourself a headache from crying so much. I never cry during movies because I'm a heartless human being

Bellowing Expelliarmus at people during arguments.

Being asked to give a speak and discovering "Nitwit", "Blubber, "Odment", "Tweak", don't quite cut it.

Desperately wishing being an Auror was an legitimate career. Now what am I supposed to do with my life?

Catching sight of a cat with 'spectacles' around its eyes and wondering... *walks up to cat* Fancy seeing you here, Professor Mcgonagall

When you wake up with a head full of Nargles and no one else understands.

Staying up until twelve in the morning on all of your birthdays, desperately wishing that Hagrid will come and give you a letter to Hogwarts after all this time. I stay up past twelve on all nights, not just birthdays

Randomly quoting the Harry Potter books to your friends and they all look at you blankly. Most of my friends don't look at me like that because they are cultured people who have read all of the books

When you start reading another book and have to stop because it's just not Harry Potter. But Percy Jackson and Lord of the Rings are nice substitutes

LORD OF THE RINGS QUIZ

First Character you fell in love with: Frodo

The character you never expected to love: Gollum

The character you don't like but everyone else does: Boromir Yes I know he redeemed himself but I just don't like him

The character you are most like: Probably Gandalf He is old and wise and most of the time makes no sense at all

The character you would slap: Pippin He nearly killed them all with his multiple stunts in Fellowship of the Ring

Three favorite characters: Frodo, Aragorn, Legolas

Favorite Pairing: Legolas x Gimli Don't tell the elf

Favorite Non-Canon Pairing: None

ABOUT ME

-If I could have one superpower, what would it be?

Psionics (Look it up)

-If I could speak any language fluently, what would it be?

Latin I'd be the best Harry Potter wizard ever

-If I could see one movie again for the first time, what would it be?

The Phantom of the Opera. The music resonated with me and if I had a soul, it would have touched it in a way that no movie ever has

-Who is my favorite Disney character?

Probably Hades from the animated Hercules. Even though the movie is horribly inaccurate, I love the Hades in that movie; he's just so done with everything

-If I could live in any state in the United States, what would it be?

Alaska. There's not many people and it's cold there

-If I could live in any country, what would it be?

Either Ireland or Scotland. The scenery and culture are amazing, and a relatively mild climate with lots and lots of rain. Not to mention, the food is deliciously warm and comforting (like fish n chips and shepherd's pie)

-What is my favorite mythical creature?

Phoenix. It symbolizes death and rebirth, which I think is a cool concept

-What is the strangest food I've ever eaten?

I think it's a tie between escargot (snails) and foie gras (look it up). Spoiler alert: both are delicious

-What is my usual pizza order?

Black olives and mushrooms. Side note: anyone who likes pineapple on pizza should be exiled from this Earth

-What is my favorite season?

Autumn. It's not too hot, I love the food and scents associated with fall like cinnamon, apple, pumpkin, and burning wood (especially burning wood), and the scenery is gorgeous

-What is my favorite fast-food restaurant?

That's easy. Chick-fil-A. They have the best fries

-What board game am I unbeatable at?

Clue and Monopoly. I have no idea why I'm good at Monopoly but I win almost every time I play, and I have many strategies for Clue since it is my favorite board game

-What game show do I think I could win?

Jeopardy. I actually signed up to try out but I'm still waiting to hear from them

-What is my favorite Christmas movie?

The live-action How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Jim Carrey is hilarious

-What is my preferred jelly bean flavor?

Either lemon or (believe it or not) toothpaste. The toothpaste one is minty so I like it

-What is my favorite quote?

“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills,
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter.” -- J.R.R. Tolkien (aka the greatest author ever)

-What is the first thing I drink when I wake up?

TEA. I am OBSESSED with tea; I drink at least two cups a day

I'll add to this list if I get any requests from future readers

PERSONAL PLEDGE (This is original stuff from my own not-sane mind)

1. I hereby vow never to post a chapter that is only an author's note. If I update, there will always be a chapter.

2. I hereby swear never to discontinue a story.

3. I hereby promise never to post a chapter less than 1,000 words.

4. I hereby pledge never to put a story on hiatus

5. I hereby declare that I will always notify readers ahead of time if I will miss an update date, or at least explain the reason for my absence when I get back

CURRENT STORIES

-This is How I Disappear
Fandom: Percy Jackson
Status: In progress, published
Summary: After the war with Gaea, everything fell apart. Their Hero was banished, the council was divided, and several gods chose exile. One of these gods was Hades, who left the council after That Day for three months. But Hades came back to what was left the Council with grave news: their Hero was dead, but his soul was nowhere to be found.
Actual Description: Percy was betrayed by almost everyone he knew and loved. Now, out in the vast universe, he tries to find a new life as the Successor of Chaos. But what happens when he has to go back to Earth?
Main Pairing: Undecided
Not a series

-The Silence of the Lamentable Raven
Fandom: Artemis Fowl/Harry Potter
Status: In progress, not published yet
Summary: In another life, Artemis saved his parents. In another life, his mother loved him. In another life, he wasn't content with being just 'the smart kid'. However, in this life, he clings to that title with a grip of iron because it's all he has. Artemis knows that his life is not ideal. He knows that everything he loves eventually leaves him. Most of all, Artemis knows that it's only a matter of time before he loses his mind as well.
Actual Description: Artemis hasn't left Fowl Manor in nine years, ever since his father went missing. The first time he leaves is when Albus Dumbledore shows up on his doorstep.
Main Pairing: None
First book of the Silence Series (If finished, which I hope it will be, the series will be probably 7 stories long)

-The Mirror: Four Elements and Children's Tales
Fandom: Percy Jackson x Avatar: The Last Airbender x Rise of the Guardians
Status: In progress, not published yet
Summary: Falling. That's all he felt. The wind in his face, the drop in his stomach, and the weight in his heart. What about his friends? What about his mom? What would they do when they realize he's gone? And worst of all, how long would they search before they declare that he's dead?
Actual Description: Percy finds a magic mirror that's enchanted to send him through different dimensions (aka fandoms)
Main Pairing: Undecided (it will be Percy x someone from the PJO fandom though)
First book of the Mirror Series (If finished, which I hope it will be, the series will most likely be about 4 or 5 stories long)

-When I See You Again
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Status: In progress, not published yet
Summary: It's been a long day, without you my friend, and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again... We've come a long way, from where we began. Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again...
Actual Description The zombie apocalypse has broken out, leaving the entire world in panic. None are panicking more than Yuuei's class 1-A, because one of their own isn't even in Japan.
Main Pairing: Tododeku (Izuku/Shouto)
Not a series

-In Plain Sight
Fandom: Percy Jackson x Frozen
Status: In progress, not published yet
Summary: There were five elemental spirits, and now there are only four. The child of these four spirits is dead. Elsa used to hide who she was, but is on a quest to find out who she is. Percy is still hiding who he is, even if he doesn't know who he was.
Actual Description: Through a peculiar turn of events, Elsa and Percy wind up as allies to save the Enchanted Forest, but each may find out more than they expected along the way.
Main Pairing: Slow Burn Percy x Elsa
Not a series

-Gazing Into A Crystal Ball
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Status: In progress, not published yet
Summary: Shunned for their quirks, two brothers only have each other. Abused for their "villainous" powers, all they can think of is going to Yuuei. Longing for things nearly impossible to gain, the two brothers fall short of their goals. But is their journey truly over?
Actual Description: Izuku lost his family when he was three to a villain attack, but he knows his father is still alive. Hitoshi lost his family when he was four to discrimination, and all he has is his brother in all but blood. Knowing their quirks aren't suited for combat, Izuku and Hitoshi train on their own, but it's still not enough for the hero course at Yuuei. Will Izuku and Hitoshi lose faith, or will their bond only strengthen their resolve?
Main Pairing: Tododeku
Not a series

-The Voice Among the Trees
Fandom My Hero Academia
Status: In progress, not published yet
Summary: When he was six, Izuku's life became... complicated. A villain attacked, his mother fell into a coma, and he lost almost everything. At six, he decided, once and for all, that he would become the greatest hero in the world.
Actual Description: When Izuku was six, a villain attacked his apartment and his mother nearly died. Izuku escaped, not uninjured, and disappeared. A year later, he met a friend. He wants to go back and find his father, the one who abandoned him, and his mother, but he is afraid. Will he ever figure out why his father abandoned him? More importantly, will he ever see his family again?
Main Pairing: Tododeku
Not a series

Happy reading!!