Hey Everybody, wow it's been a while, I'm so sorry i haven't posted anything, my life has just been so busy. I'm sure you all know exactly what I'm talking about. I wish i had more time to write for you guys and i'm gunna try to rewrite a few chapters of Skater Girl, no plot changes just some elaboration and corrections. I feel like as i've grown up i can do better and have a better understanding of what i want as an author. I love you all and sorry again.

Fanpire123

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period 's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually really only need to apply mascara to your top 's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first 's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love ... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been received.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

Picture for Skater Girl:

Kuma: Aden's dog. (his name means bear in japanese) if you look down on the page it's a picture of an orange and white puppy with a tennis ball.

http:///imgres?imgurl=http:///_ctmkTDorx1A/Rvkim2fKSpI/AAAAAAAAAGU/vYNZT9Yfk08/s320/dog2Bbreeds.jpg&imgrefurl=http:///2007/09/best-dog-breed-and-puppy-for-you.html&usg=_x6EQvXKT-2UWUkU-sYGtuj5M6OI=&h=320&w=214&sz=22&hl=en&start=1&sig2=wIxadHhhlMrz5UK-JaQ6cA&um=1&tbnid=lHoDwjL5hCwgbM:&tbnh=118&tbnw=79&ei=HB8rSdHRIZCktQPd68nsAQ&prev=/images3Fq3Dpuppy2Bbreeds26um3D126hl3Den26sa3DN

Girls

are like

apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

i really like that, its so true and if u get it, it means a lot.

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of
Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...??)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!-- now that i think about it... maybe not. i never really understood this part.
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

When you show it to your mother and she says,"Oh my Gosh, he has a face!"

You have dreamt about Edward at least one time in your life.

You get mad when someone says that they don't like Edward and like Jacob instead.

You are looking at all of these and laughing and nodding or saying,"Yep, that's me."

You went to Reese Jewlers to get yourself a topaz ring.

You get mad when people say they haven't read the book.

You constantly have mini anxiety attacks. You think about Edward and you begin to get anxious to find out what happens in the next book.

If you have done any of these, copy and paste it to your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw New Moon at the wall when Jane used her power on Edward, copy and paste this into your profile.

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

My favorite series is and will always be Twilight.

Jacob is NOT the totally worst person on the face of the earth. That would be a tie between Paris Hilton, Saddam Heussein, all the animal abusers, all the child abusers, all the dog-fighters, and the cheerleaders at school.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in 'Eclipse' copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-Sees something shiny- OMG! SHINY! -runs over to it- OOH! A POINTY OBJECT! -pokes said pointy object- OW! I CUT MYSELF! I MUST BE EMO! -sniffs the blood OMG! IM A VAMPIRE NOW! MY LIFE IS TURNING INTO A SPIRALING PIT OF DEPRESSION!! -smiles evilly- ON THE OTHER HAND, I'M A VAMPIRE LIKE EDWARD AND EMMETT!! YAY! BITE ME, EDWARD!

Edward: 95 vampire + 5 overreactive = AWESOMENESS!

If your friend(s) think you're crazy for reading a book about romantic vampires and you don't care, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, paste this in your profile. (Sorry Bella

Random Quotes- bolded quotes are the ones i like the most or mean the most to me!

"Whenever a choice is made based on the excuse “life’s too short”, it’s certain that life will be just long enough to punish you for it."

"Love isn't a feeling, it is an ability"

"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - Douglas Adams

"What will be, will be." -A quote restated many times in an Arthurian book series by Nancy McKenzie (either by Merlin, Queen Guinevere or King Arthur!).

"I love you... Most ardently." Aw, Mr. Darcy!

"If you can't convince them, confuse them." - Harry S. Truman

"The free-thinking of one age is the common sense of the next." -Matthew Arnold

"To prophesy is extremely difficult - especially with regard to the future." - Chinese proverb

"Oh, I'm a degenerate am I? Well you sir are a fastishio, see I can make up words too." -Peter Griffin

"Greedy boys die in their sleep." -Stuart from Mad TV (I love that show!)

"Disclaimer: Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I'm talking about." - Unknown

"I'm in my dark place." -Also via Stuart

"I wish I could quit you." Heehee. Brokeback Mountain.

"Americans always try to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else." -Winston Churchill

"If you want special effects rent Lord of the Rings." -God from Joan of Arcadia

"Derek: Oh, I thought you came over to tell me what a bad ugooglizer I was.
Matilda: A what?
Derek: A ugooglizer - one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a ugoogly is?" - Zoolander (Note: It's supposed to be 'eulogy'.)

-Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean- (Bob Marley)

-You know you're in love when reality is finally better than your dreams- (Dr. Seuss)

-People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about- ;)

-A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left- (Marylin Monroe)

-It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have every done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known- (Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities)

-The trouble with most of us is that we would rather by ruined by praise than saved by criticism- (Norman Vincent Peale)

-It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes come to the top- (Virginia Woolf)

-Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal- (E. Joseph Cossman)

-You don't have to have a reason to feel good - You can feel good for no reason at all-

-The best things in life aren't things- (Art Buchwald)

-Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry- (Mark Twain)

-"Good causes" seem to be quite expensive, especially compared to how cheap the bad ones are-

-I look in the mirror & force myself to not look away. You can't look away from the truth. This reality that grips me is making me fall undone. When did this reflection change, & where did this thing come from?-

-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience - Lol! (Some Genius)

-Wait 'til there's someone to cry about, someone to fight it out, someone to say you're the reason they breathe-

-Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway-

-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-

-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-

-So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell-

-With bloodshot eyes, I'll watch you sleeping. The warmth beside me, is slowly fading- (Tears Don't Fall, by Bullet for My Valentine)

-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them-

-I miss you...a lot-

-& she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left-

-Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-

-People hold onto something because they're afraid nothing that great will ever happen to them again-

-If you can't hear my heartbeat then you're too far away-

-Just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying -

-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." -

-Falling in love was the best idea I ever had-

- Forged in war, born of death, saved by love - Jackson Rathbone

- I'd tell her that I'll never know what it was like to be her. But I do know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in, but you can't. How you hurt yourself on theoutside, to try to kill the thing on the inside. - (Girl, Interrupted)

- "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you." -

Everything in this room is edible. Even I am edible, but that, little children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. -Willy Wonka

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

-And you can quote me on the quote, unquote- (Dane Cook)

-Love is when two people who care for each other get confused- (Bob Schneider)

"I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt!"~Jack Sparrow

"Dad, I see dead people."~Michael Evers-The Haunted Mansion

"Maybe you'll think twice before coming back from the dead!"~Jim Evers to Zombie-The Haunted Mansion

''Figures, somehow he always gets a second chance on the verge of death. He's like a damn cat.''

"Don't drop me! I'm fragile!", "Hey don't talk to me about being fragile! I'm the one who's feeling fragile!"~Madame Leota and Jim Evers-The Haunted Mansion

"Punch his face in, dad."~Megan Evers-The Haunted Mansion

"You loved her... Well damn you. Damn you all to hell!"~Ramsley to Edward Gracie-The Haunted Mansion

"Don't blame me for your craziness!"

"And we shall have a magnificent garden party, and you're not invited. Hehe..."~Jack Sparrow

"Shoot him! Cut out his tongue! Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scragly beard..."~Pirates of Shipwreck Cove and Jack Sparrow

"Barbossa, marry us!" "I'm a little busy at the moment!"~Elizabeth Swan and Barbossa

"Jack! Jack! It's the captain! Hide the rum."~Pintel, Ragetti, Gibbs, and Cotton's parrot

"The only way I would bring Jack Sparrow back from the land of the dead, is so I can send him back myself!"~Sao Feng

"Why, she's no help a' all."~Pintel

"Mr. Gibbs, care to explain why my ship is gone?" "The ship? -snorts- We're on the ship...Jack! The ship's gone!" "Really!?"~Gibbs and Jack Sparrow

"A wedding?! I love weddings! Drinks all around!"~Jack Sparrow

"Drink a lot of water. You'll be less hungry." "You know what else happens when you drink a lot of water? YOU'RE LESS THIRSTY!"~ Ron White

"I'm 49 years old in the back of this F-16 screamin' 'MOMMA!! MOMMA!!'"~ Bill Engvall

"Beating you is going to be as easy as pie!"~ Jamie Noble "What a coincidence, Jamie! I happen to love pie!" ~CM Punk

"Why doesn't anybody listen to me?"~ JBL "Because you're an ass."~ Triple H

"Son, are you mildly retarded?"~ Triple H, pretending to be Vince McMahon

"I did not sleep with that young intern, in fact, I was up all night!"~ HBK in DX interview

"Then I started a fight...and the whole bar started fighting...I whipped everybodys ass"~ 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin

"Lemme' guess? You wanna join DX? Get in the back."~ Triple H to Great Kahli

"Go ahead. Make my millenium."~ Beetlejuice

"Well Jamie Noble, your alligator mouth has finally overloaded your hummingbird rear end."~ J.R.

-Strike a pose; & act like your famous-

-The hardest thing in this world is to live in it- (Buffy)

-To live is the rarest thing; most people only exist-

-It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be real hard. And we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that...because I want you. All of you...forever-

-Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way-

-It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces-

-It's not about right. It's not about wrong. It's about power- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

-She's like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It is the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because...there is no alternative- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

-Who really cares if you're in your house, or in a big open field? There is always something to surround you. You can pretend like you're free, but you're not. Not really. You will always be trapped. Four walls of plaster or the roundness of the encroaching atmosphere. I see no difference-

-Your mom- (Some genius)

-Well...you're a flower!-

-It's pretty sad when you think about it. It's even sadder when you think about not thinking about it.- (Mwa)

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you,

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you'reWHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If kisses were raindrops,
I'd send you showers.
If hugs were minutes, I'd send you hours.
If smiles were an waves,
I'd send you the sea.
And if love was a person,
I'd send u ME !!

Unlike Barbie,

Me & my friends

~aren't sold seperatly~

Flip flops and belly tops, lemonade in da shade, blue skies, hot guys, late nights and water fights, ice cream, sweet dreams, party time, lookin' fine, sleeping in and sneaking out, that's what girls are all about

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Let's flip a coin: Heads, Edward and I will be together. Tails, we'll flip again.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.- that happens alot.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

When life throws you lemons...OMG! You're pregnant!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it?

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns. But those bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again...

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silent is golden but duck tape is silver

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washer machines.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.

You know, there are times when we're dirt broke, hungry and freezing, and I ask myself, "why the hell am i still living here." and then they call and i remember.

Someone should sue Disney for making every little girl believe shes found her prince charming.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask myself, “Is life multiple choose questions or true or false questions?” and then a voice inside my head says, “We hate to tell you this, but life’s a 1,000 word essay.

Sunglasses are in the two splash category. The first splash is the sunglasses falling into the water. The second splash is you jumping in after them.

Life is like a box of chocolates, don't eat them too fast.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

Is he gay or European?

Music man took my soul...

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

SIGNS OF INSANITY:
1. Talking to yourself.
2. Talking to inanimate objects with hopes that they'll answer you.
3. Having conversations with yourself/said inanimate objects.
4. Laughing maniacally at the worst of times.
5. Thinking you're a mythical creature. (oh god, i am insane!)
6. Singing 'POLKA DOTTED PIG TOES!' when you're supposed to be doing something productive.
Finally, 7. Trying to cure abuse/world hunger/global warming/etc. all by yourself. (silly maximum)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put
our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages
of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'

.
10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . . or if you smiled at one of these things.

If you ever fell of a chair backwards copy this in yout profile.

AV is Addictied to Vampires

If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil. Copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension. Copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't cool to breath any more. Put this in your profile if your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a wall, copy and paste this in yout profile( This always happens to me!)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people how get exited when you see just two reviews, copy this in your profile.

If you're an obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Cullen, copy this in your profile.

If you truely belive, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you ( Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen) copy and paste in your pro.

If you have a child, you're considering the name Edward or Anthony, copy and paste in your pro.

95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy and paste.

If you have ever copy and paste something onto your profile, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste.( My friend has a painting of a lady in her house and i ask "leah,why does she have 5 toes?")

If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste in your profile.

If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and is hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE!

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight its NOT funny no more, copy and paste.

If you get sugar high off of carrots, or a slice of cake, or a small bowl of icecream, or 3 mini chocolate bars etc. copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.(leah, jules, baab)

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you love Twilight, and whenever anyone says anything related to Twilight you shoot up in your seat, or whenever anyone says anything non-Twilight related, you still shoot up in your seat and try to find a way to relate it to Twilight e.g. someone says air, you say "Vampires don't need to breathe air!" or they say car, you say "You know an awesome car? An Aston Martin Vanquish..." OR! When you're bored in Science class, you turn to the nearest Twilight friend and say "Hey Isabella, or Julie, or Maddi, or Caity," and they go "Yeah?" And I go "You know what?" and they go "What?" and I desperately try to come up with something Twilight related e.g. "Jacob sucks eh?" and they go "Totally..."

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have written a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you’re bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do..

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid locker!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you once choked on food, spit it out, and then it landed in your friends food and/or on their face copy and paste this on your profile.

If you knew that 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything 50 percent of the time, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you argue with your self and are constanly pretending to be on the phone (putting your hand to your ear, etc.) not realizing that you look stupider then just talking to your self copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think you were switched at birth because you have special powers (Seeing the future, feeling emotions, hearing thoughts, etc.) and/or because your parents are totally geeks, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have considered nameing your kids Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, or Esme, copy and paste this onto your profile(I comtemplate this every other day! Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper are my favorites!)

If you are a proud stalker and obsessed fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this

If your second favorite of the Cullen males is Jasper Whitlock Hale, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this to make it longer.

If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen (his name doesn't have to be Edward Cullen) out there for you, put this on your profile.

If you know you have an un-healthy obsession with any or all Cullens, but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly you don't wanna heal, put this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile(I run into them every day. They plot against me and move when I am about to walk through the doorway. They just hate me. :(

If you have ever fell off a chair backwards, copy and paste this onto your profile(I once fell out of my chair forwards, don't ask how.)

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

SEAMCJWH is Stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Jasper Whitlock Hale

If you think Rap stands for Retards Attempting Poetry paste this on your profile

If you think vampires are real and you want to join them, copy this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile

You know it's gonna be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

If you've read Twilight over 4 times, copy this onto your profile.

If you can't appreciate Edward Cullen, please leave the vicinity

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

-If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever thought really hard about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is and hope he heard, copy and paste this into your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy and paste this on your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you're nocturnal copy and paste this in your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If it drives you insane when you someone asks a question and you answer it and they say why and so you answer that and then they say why again and you answer that one and it goes on and on until you can’t answer anything anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you've ever wondered why Bush won't leave the friggin' war and let the remaining soldiers live, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste (smiles)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies with sporks WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT and NEW MOON over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the above mentioned, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile.

Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.

If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile.

If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are on for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

Disclaimers are stupid. I'm obviously not Stephenie Meyer.

If you're a Jacob fan, you can just go shoot yourself in the foot.

If you're an Edward fan, I completely agree with you and am certain you are a wonderful person.

If you don't know who Jacob and Edward ( ) are, then leave. Seriously. Go. Now.

WARNING: Having a vampire boyfriend may be hazerdous to your health. Not that you care , Bella ;)

Real men Sparkle...

I like my men cold, dead, and sparkling.

When little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I wanted to be a vampire.

Bite me... you know you want to!

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. It was a hard line to walk.

Kroptonite doesn't bother me either.

Well, It's no irritable grizzly...

I'm dazzled by a fictional(yeah right!) vampire by the name of EDWARD CULLEN

OMC: since Edward is a perfect angel (me: sigh), and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisile. That, and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God. (me: this makes a lot of sense)

And God (CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward..." and it was all goood. (me: uh-huh. no arguements there!)

(¸.•´ (¸.•´~Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

I find "good morning" contradictory

My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then? (me: huh? oh, take that!)

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

I think I could be madly in like with you

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

opps! I appear to have fallen on your lips!

Guys should be like lattes: rich, strong, and hot!

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to)

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"(ehheh that happens ALOT, im very clumsy :)

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

~ Treat each day as your last; one day you'll be right.

~ Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...

All i ask for is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy!

~ They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken. -thats my fav 'cause it's so true!

~ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

~ Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

~ Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

~ Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

~ Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

~ What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Jacob is NOT the totally worst person on the face of the earth. That would be a tie between Paris Hilton, Saddam Heussein, Hilary Clinton, all the animal abusers, all the child abusers, all the dog-fighters, and the cheerleaders at school.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in 'Eclipse' copy and paste this onto your profile.

-sees something shiny- OMG! SHINY! -runs over to it- OOH! A POINTY OBJECT! -pokes said pointy object- OW! I CUT MYSELF! I MUST BE EMO! -sniffs the blood OMG! IM A VAMPIRE NOW! MY LIFE IS TURNING INTO A SPIRALING PIT OF DEPRESSION!! -smiles evilly- ON THE OTHER HAND, I'M A VAMPIRE LIKE EDWARD AND EMMETT!! YAY! BITE ME, EDWARD!

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, paste this in your profile. (Sorry Bella)

Sorry it's long but it's awesome!