Hey, everyone! My name is Kaiser Wilhelm, but feel free to call me Kaiser for short. It's all good. The origin of my name is rather confusing and comical, but the short version is, my Great-grandpa was a WWI vet on the German side, and my older brother's name is William, so it just sort of came together. I am a college graduate at this point and getting ready for grad school (eventually)! I'm very into Shakespeare, Science (any sort of science), and studio art. I hope to get into the fast-growing field of Exogeology! That's about it. I love to make friends, so, even if we haven't had any sort of contact before, I'd love to talk! I love to read; I love to write. Editing is one of my passions. Though, I'm better at plot development than actual stylistic elements, or grammar. Just so you know, I will read any sort of fanfic as long as there's something about it that sparks my interest. It could be your summary, your title, your style, your plot, really anything. I won't read fanfics that have to do with fandoms that I'm not a part of. For example, I wouldn't read a Death Note fanfic since I don't know the anime that well. You get the idea. I'm a huge fan of One Piece, Dragon Ball, The DC and Marvel Universes, Naruto, Hetalia, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Yu-Gi-Oh!, but my fandoms are ever-changing. Still, I love the smell of fanfics in the morning, don't you? As far as writing goes, I never give up on a fanfic, even if I haven't updated for 6 years...and I always have a bunch of ideas rolling around in my head. Who knows? Maybe I'll actually finish something I published (eventually).

Yeah, so here's a bit more about me. I'm queer and proud of it! I have the potential to be attracted to any adult human being. I really couldn't find the right word to describe my sexuality, so I decided to go with the more ambiguous "queer." I will also accept "undefined" or "who knows?" So anyway, that's a thing. I tend to write yaoi over yuri. I don't care between the two; I like both, and I do support a lot of straight pairings as well! Well, anyway, here are some pairings I like and my (bare bones) analyses of them:

DB:

Yaoi-

1. Truten- My first ever yaoi pairing. I adore these two together. They just work! They're great! I love how Goten calls Trunks, "Trunks-kun." Isn't it just adorable? They're just SO cute! And I don't care what Super says, this is canon...in my dreams. There's a conversation at the end of Dragon Ball in the "10 Years Later" chapter where Goten says that Goku is making him enter the world martial arts tournament and reveals that he had planned on going on a date but had to cancel. Trunks then laughs in his face. My personal belief is that said date was with Trunks, and now he is excited because watching Goten get his ass handed to him is still a fun date for Trunks. Then Vegeta forces him to go too. Also, I do find the pairing of Mai and Trunks to be adorable, but it's also more than a little creepy since she's technically older than Vegeta, and I'm pretty sure that's still a 10 year old she's hitting on.

2. PiccoloxGoku- Can anyone say crack? I think these two have great chemistry. Goku trusts Piccolo like no one else in the series, and Piccolo sees Goku the person, not just Goku the superhero. They just work together on so many levels. Personally, I think they're perfect for each other.

3. Mirai TrunksxAndroid Ten- I made up an android that looks like Goku because honestly, that seems like something Gero would do. I chose the number 10 because obvious pun is obvious. This is essentially just Future Trunks/ Future Robot Goten. I rest my case. Everything is better with robots, kids.

4. VegetaGokuVegeta- I really have no preference as to who's on top, and it can really go either way. These two have great chemistry and are basically the Forefather of rivalry pairings! I swear, in the Buu Saga and Super (and the no longer canon thank god GT), these two bicker like a married couple. It's AMAZING!! They also work on a lot of different levels as well. Goku is the calming force in Vegeta's life, and Vegeta compensates for Goku's naivety. They really complete each other in a way. Rivalries tend to work like that. I also love Goku's line in the dub version of movie 12 in referring to his experience fusing with Vegeta: "I loved every minute of it." My friend Diana and I rewound that and watched it over and over again. It was just TOO perfect!

5. YamchaxGoku- I only like this pairing in DB, not as much DBZ. Yamcha really plays an older brother figure for Goku in DB. He sees Goku as an equal despite their age difference, but he still stops to say, "Hey, Goku's just a kid. We should let him cry if he needs to cry." At least, that's the vibe I get from them. The pairing doesn't work as well in DBZ because Yamcha starts to fade into the background and revere Goku like a god.

6. TenxGoku- Same goes for this pairing. Only in DB. I think this pairing works for the same reasons as YamchaxGoku, but Ten has more moments where he's able to play the big brother to Goku, especially during the King Piccolo arc. Just as well, Ten is also really the only person Goku can confide in when they see Piccolo during the Tenkai'ichi Budokai, and by the end of DB, he's the only one of Goku's friends that can really give him a challenge. This pairing stops working in DBZ for the same reasons as YamchaxGoku.

Hetero-

1. GokuxBulma- I think that Bulma and Goku have much more chemistry than Chichi and Goku. These two are fabulous together! Bulma is an adventurer at heart, and can really handle Goku. It shows a lot in DB that Goku really cares for Bulma. Like the first time when they see each other when Goku goes to the last Tenkai'ichi Budokai in DB, he sees Bulma's lipstick and thinks she's hurt. He's so worried (for Goku at least)! It's adorable! Just as well, I'm sure that Goku harbors some sort of childhood crush on her since she is pretty attractive, and she's his very first friend.

2. GohanxVidel- These two have been close to my heart ever since the Great Saiyaman arc. They're great together! They're cute, and they're funny. Personally, I love Videl since she's so kickass for a human girl in DBZ, and Gohan is so meek. They compliment each other very well! I also love the way Goku teases Gohan about his relationship with Videl. It's great.

3. VegetaxBulma- The entire DBZ fandom knows why this pairing works. 'Nough said. Toriyama had a stroke of GENIUS putting these two together!

4. Oh! And let's not forget Krillinx18! I've never had the urge to write about them, but I REALLY support this pairing. Once again, leave it to Toriyama!

Naruto:

Yaoi-

1. LeeNeji- Lee and Neji are adorable together! They're basically the overlooked SasuNaru. Most people are confused as to why I put Lee on top, but Lee's my favorite character, and people tend to make his personality very static. Lee's not the type who just stands around and yells "Youth!" Sure, he does that, but he also has depth. He's been through hardship, and he's overcome it, whereas Neji is still struggling. I think Lee plays a great part with Neji as the only person who can really get him to lighten up. I feel like Lee would have the ability to temper Neji in a way that no one else could. Neji could probably do the same for him. Really, these two are wonderful together! I wish more people would pay attention to them.

2. ShikaGaa: Shikamaru and Gaara may seem like a crack pairing to most, but I find they work very well together. Shikamaru and Temari are canon (and Shikadai is the only gen 2 kid that I actually like). So, Gaara and Shikamaru already have a reason to communicate. Still, I feel like since Shika's general attitude is so chill, he would be just what the doctor orders for Gaara. Gaara could really use someone laid back in his life to take care of him, what with all the issues he needs to work through. Shikamaru is perfect for Gaara because he could easily calm Gaara if he ever had a breakdown. By nature alone, these two work together. Not to mention the fact that I totally love them together!!

3.ShikaNeji- Okay, if you don't think this pairing works, you need to read some of the fics out there. There used to be a lot of writers who wrote ShikaNeji regularly, but most of them have either deleted their stories or deleted their accounts. Anyway, Shika works with most people because of his laid back personality. Neji is exactly the opposite, so they compliment each other in a lot of fun ways. These two are PERFECT for a romantic comedy. I swear to God, they have the ability to make life together hilarious! But they also really work in the drama department. Neji has a lot of issues, and Shikamaru has some skeletons in the closet (Decapitated Jashinists in the backyard?) himself, so the two can really comfort each other in ways that no one else in Naruto can. The fact that both are geniuses and deal with it in different ways also makes for a very interesting and dynamic relationship.

4. LeeGaa- I absolutely hate GaaLee. No. Has to be the other way around for me. These two also have a strange sort of bond together. Lee holds no grudges, and that's exactly what Gaara needs in a partner. Lee is so gentle and sweet and loving. Gaara really needs someone like that, and once Gaara understands love, he'd be able to give so much back to Lee. These two are GREAT together, trust me on that.

(Has anyone noticed that I love practically any combo of Shika, Neji, Lee, and Gaara? The only one I've never worked with is ShikaLee/LeeShika. Perhaps I should look into this.)

5. NaruGaa- Okay. Practically Canon. The entirety of Shippuuden empirically proves, 'nough said. They understand each other, like no one else can, and Naruto could care for Gaara exactly the way he needs. Gaara could respect Naruto exactly the way Sasuke can't. They just work, and no yaoi-lover can deny it.

6. NaruNeji- As soon as I saw the whole, "Naruto, your eyes are better than mine," episode. I HAD to look into this pairing. At first, I loved Neji as seme, and couldn't see it any other way, but now, I've been seeing Naruto as the seme in most relationships (SasuNaru the one exception), and Neji just makes a lovely uke. Sasuke and Neji are so similar that most stories have them at least passively, if not actively, competing for Naruto's heart. This gives this relationship depth, especially when you consider that Sasuke abandoned Naruto, while Neji stayed right by his side. Then you have this idea of Naruto being Neji's savior, his salvation, that comes into play in the Sasuke-retrieval arc. Neji would do anything for Naruto and that's exactly what Naruto deserves if you ask me. He would die for him (and SPOILERZ!! He does die for him).

7. SasuGaa- Most people prefer GaaSasu, because of that whole biz in the Chuunin exam arc, but personally, I see Gaara as the more passive one in most relationships. Sasuke and Gaara have a lot in common (think that whole "Eyes yearning to prove themselves" deal). But, for some reason, this pairing speaks to me. I feel like Sasuke and Gaara could never really love each other, so the whole pairing tends to be very dark for me. Still, I think they have their moments when they can be almost civil to each other. It's really an odd pairing, and I've only managed to pull it off once or twice (Check out "Neighborhood #1" for more details).

8. SasuNeji- Sasuke and Neji are almost eerily similar, and that's why I feel that they can truly understand each other like no one else can. This pairing has the odd ability to be both dark and horrible, and warm and fluffy. Sometimes both at the same time, and that makes it almost funny.

9. ItaNeji- Itachi and Neji have the misfortune of both being prodigies of the two worst clans in Konoha. ItaNeji is pretty similar to SasuNeji, in that the two characters come from similar backgrounds and can be both dark and fluffy. For some reason, ItaNeji makes a bit more sense to me than SasuNeji, but I've actually used (or am going to use) SasuNeji in a fic, so it's hard to say really. Both pairings have the ability to be pretty fun, if you ask me.

10. NejiGaaNeji- This pairing has an odd history with me. I first saw it in a SasuNaru fic back in high school, and I actually thought this was crack. Now that I've seen crackier pairings, I know it's not, but still, I saw it and thought "HAVE THEY EVEN SPOKEN?!" This was my favorite pairing for a while, but it's really gone down on my list since then. It's because, as my taste has developed, I came to realize that Neji and Gaara are both ukes in my mind, so having one of them top is kind of REALLY weird. Still, it's always had a special place in my heart. I think this pairing does have some root in canon, because both were saved from the darkness by Naruto, so they share a certain fondness for a certain blonde, but I really think that this pairing started during the Chuunin exams when Neji fought Hinata. After Gaara watched that fight, he basically gets horny. I swear to God! He does! I watched that episode recently, and I'm like, "And thus, GaaNeji was born!"

11. SaiNaruSai- Truth be told, I was never a huge fan of this until Naruto chapter 455 came out. I swear to God, the way Sai looks at Naruto sometimes is simply divine. Trust me, Sai is in love, no doubt about it. I don't particularly care who's on top, because it works very well both ways.

12. SasuNaru- Okay, if NaruGaa is practically canon...SasuNaru IS canon. They are just so dynamic in their relationship. There's nothing dull about them. Nothing at ALL! Whether they're killing each other or getting married, these two just have chemistry. It's incredible! Personally, I prefer Sasuke on top, but I've seen some fics of him as uke, which I'm also starting to like. I'm not a huge fan of this as a main pairing, but I do love them as a side pairing. You really gotta love 'em (they were my first yaoi pairing for Naruto after all), and you really can't be a fan of yaoi in Naruto without giving this pairing credit.

13. Sandcest (KankyGaa)- Incest really doesn't bother me all that much. I think Gaara really deserves someone who can be kind, and can take care of him, and Kankuro is almost perfect for this role. They're very close when you think about it. Gaara tells Kankuro some of his most well-kept secrets and ambitions, and Kankuro accepts Gaara with open arms. I love this pairing. It's so cute sometimes! Really good if you don't mind incest and your in a WAFF sort of mood.

Quick elaboration on my view of incest: I see incest from a very scientific standpoint. I only think it's problematic when kids are involved. The progeny of an incestuous relationship can end up with recessive genetic disorders due to both parents sharing up to half of their DNA (parent and child share exactly 50%, though I really don't like the idea of this because of the power dynamics involved. Siblings share up to 50% of their DNA. Half-siblings can share up to 25% as with grandparent and grandchild and aunt or uncle and niece or nephew, and first cousins share 12.5%. Any further removed from that, and the risks go down significantly). It usually takes a few generations of incestuous relationships before you start to see some significant mutations, so in my opinion, if you're both consenting adults and don't plan on having children, it's not too messed up, and it's something I don't mind. AGAIN: CONSENT IS KEY.

Yuri-

1. YakumoxIsaribi- Hahaha...yeah...crack. You know what, this isn't even crack, this is LSD!! Ladies and gentlemen, Naruto on shrooms!! So, these are two filler characters (Isaribi from the Anko-sensei arc, and Yakumo from the Team 8 is splitting up arc). But, I think they're perfect for each other. Yakumo has some sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality disorder going on, and Isaribi is a genetically engineered sea monster. They're both outcasts from society whose dreams have been forcibly ripped from their hands, so there's no one on earth who can understand Isaribi like Yakumo, and there's no one on earth who can understand Yakumo like Isaribi. Personally, I think these two just work.

2. InoSaku- Ino and Sakura love each other very much even if they won't admit it. I think these two have the dreaded Miaka-Yui syndrome. Sakura falls in love with Sasuke, and Ino is jealous of Sasuke for getting Sakura’s attention, but she mistake’s this jealousy for being jealous of Sakura for getting Sasuke’s attention, so they become rivals. Ino never struck me as being very into Sasuke. I’m sure she thinks he’s hot, but she doesn’t really love him the way Sakura does. I think she and Sakura would be very good together, because Ino would be with someone who she loves dearly, and Sakura would be with someone who’d treat her right.

3. SakuHina- Okay, Sakura and Hinata basically go well with anyone, so why not each other? I think Sakura is one of the few people who can give Hinata confidence in herself. Sakura’s gone through a similar phase of feeling useless and overcoming it, so she can help Hinata through her inferiority complex. They’re very cute together, so I’m all for this pairing. Sakura has a habit of falling for men who treat her like crap, and I think Hinata is exactly the opposite, and therefore exactly what Sakura needs.

4. TemTen- CRACK!! They strike me as a sort of Beatrice and Benedick, or Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet…except gay. I’m sure Tenten and Temari would bicker ALL the time, but they would really care for one another. We don’t know much about Tenten except from what she’s like in filler episodes. She loves strong women, and Temari is one of the strongest women in Naruto. On the other hand, Temari doesn’t exactly like weak women much, and she sees Tenten as weak. I can see these two physically fighting all the time, yearning to prove themselves. It’s another one of those infamous rivalry pairings.

5. InoHina- Oh God, the crack continues! Ino sometimes strikes me as similar to Naruto, which I think would attract Hinata to her. I don't know; it's a bit similar to the SakuHina idea of giving Hinata confidence. For some reason, this pairing just works for me.

6. SakuraxKarin- These two can bond over what a jerkwad Sasuke is. If you're on deviantart, look up gabzillaz. Trust me, if you can't see this pairing now, you will.

7. TemIno- This is a more recent interest of mine that developed while I was writing for my fic "Fever Pitch." I'm still working the kinks out, but I think Temari would respect Ino's inner strength and interrogation abilities. In my mind, Temari has a thing for damsel's in distress. Shikamaru is her favorite damsel in canon, but I think she'd enjoy championing a drop-dead gorgeous girl like Ino.

Hetero-

I like a surprising amount of straight pairings for someone who isn’t a huge fan of them. I used to feel weird about putting lots of yaoi/yuri in fanfics without straight pairings, but now that I feel totally secure with my queerness, I really don’t give a shit anymore. Love is love, baby. Or, in the words of Will Ferril (as Jackie Moon), “EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!!”

1. HidanxTayuya- LSD!! Okay, these two would undoubtedly be perfect for each other for the sole reason that they would fall madly in love with each other’s foul-mouthedness. There is literally nothing else to this pairing.

2. NaruHina- I adore these two together. Seriously, Naruto deserves to get someone as devoted as Hinata, and Hinata deserves to get her man. I’ve been a NaruHina supporter since they first sat together in the first test of the Chuunin exams, so this goes WAY back for me. Their yin-yang personalities would work to their advantage, in my opinion. Eventually, Hinata would grow comfortable enough with Naruto to stop fainting when he touches her, and I think Hinata has it in her to handle Naruto when push comes to shove. Seriously, Hinata is a babe, and she’s kind and sweet. Exactly what Naruto needs. She was the first person besides Iruka-sensei to notice him after all.

3. NejiHina- I can’t see much fluff with this pairing. It’s either serious romance, or angst…or both. Neji’s canon relationship with Hinata is pretty dark, so it would be very hard for him to get over all the bad he associates her with, and learn to love Hinata like she deserves. Plus, the family would probably get in the way. Though, in a lot of ways, Hinata can save Neji from the darkness just as much as Naruto could. They really can work well, if developed properly. KawaiiS does a great job with this in her doujinshi “Promise.” SiriusReborn also does a great job with their fic “Broken Helix.” We also see later on in the series that Neji is completely devoted to Hinata, not because it's his duty as a branch member, but because he loves Hinata very much.

4. ShikaTem- Not gonna lie, these two are PERFECT for each other! They need to get married. Right now. Whether they like it or not, and trust me, they like it. Come on! Did you see the way Temari smiled at Shikamaru after the Sasuke-Retrieval arc?! It’s love, and it’s so great because they’re so young (inside joke with myself). She’s so bossy, and he’s so lazy. Temari’s gotta be the only person who can get Shikamaru off his tuchus (lol, da Jew doth speak Jewish). And they have such a great romantic potential too. Shikamaru really is a fan-borne man-whore, because he’s just with EVERYBODY!! No joke. I can really picture Temari talking with her girlfriends about they’re relationship. Her friends would ask about Shikamaru in bed, and Temari would respond, “Great.” They’d be like, “What!! But he’s so fucking lazy!!” And Temari would say, “Not when he’s horny.” That's what I wrote four years ago, and CANON!! Seriously, who didn't think this would end up being canon?

5. NaruSaku- I was proven wrong with this one. I figured it was going to be canon, but I was much happier to see Naruto end up with Hinata. I was also very sad that Sakura ended up with Sasuke. I really think he's far too cruel to her.

6. SaiIno- Okay, when I said these two should be canon, I WAS JOKING!! Sai and Ino are absolutely hysterical. I love them together! One of my favorite pairings involving Ino. Sai’s SO adorable in his inability to comprehend human emotion, and Ino sees that more than any other character especially when you consider her background in torture and interrogation. Still, I can see these two on the wedding day, and Sai still being that clueless idiot. “Ino-san, the book says that we’re supposed to have sexual intercourse on our honeymoon. Shall we? My penis is definitely bigger than Sasuke’s.” Love you, Sai.

7. ChoIno- I think these two are great together. Choji deserves a bunch of beautiful girls swarming around him, in my opinion. And Ino needs to figure out that bigger is sometimes better. Choji is such a sweetheart! He would treat Ino so well, and I think Ino could reciprocate this after she lowers her physical standards a bit.

8. SaiSaku- My friend Remy turned me onto this. Apparently, Sai is pretty flirty with Sakura in the anime (I wouldn’t know, I stopped with Shippuuden after went under). Sai with anyone but Naruto is comedy in my eyes, and as I love to laugh, Sai pairings are awesome.

9. NejiIno- Again, a pairing meant for comedy in my mind. These two could be married and never admit it. And they’re both very pretty; I’m sure they’d try to out-pretty each other all the time. Still, I’ve read a lot of fics that pair these two seriously. At first, I couldn’t believe it, but hell, I can’t deny that these two work on deeper levels than just for laughs. A lot have Neji be the person who gave Ino her trademark confidence, which I think works pretty well. I have to admit, these two have a special place in my heart.

10. SuigetsuxKarin- Another one of those Beatrice/Benedick, Mr. Darcy/ Elizabeth pairings. They argue, but you have to admit that they’re secretly in love. All these two need is a push (Suigetsu having a brush with death maybe?), and they’ll be ALL over each other.

11. NejiTen- Canon, and if you don’t believe me, read or watch Team Gai vs. Kisame. Neji is just so worried about Tenten; it’s priceless! If only she had more character development, then I could rant more about them together. Still, Tenten is kinda like a blank slate, so you can make her exactly the way you want. Personally, I see her as a very strong female character who’s a feminist, prefers her men strong, and fights for what she believes in. A bit like Akane from Ranma 1/2.

Yu-Gi-Oh!:

Yaoi-

1. Prideshipping (SetoxYami)- Another pair of rivals. I tend to like that, don’t I? These two really care for each other even though they’d never admit it, and they go way back. WAY back. They were fated to meet because of they’re close relationship in a past life, so why wouldn’t they be in love. Seto helps Yami so much, though he covers it up with general distaste, and Yami has saved Seto’s life many times. In fact, I could probably go through every episode, collect evidence from them, and write a dissertation on why this pairing is canon. Seriously, if you take the time to think about what these two mean to each other, it basically works on every level. And they’ve conquered every genre from comedy to tragedy. There’s a lot of depth to this pairing.

2. Puzzleshipping (YamixYugi)- Canon. If you ever watch the anime, it’s about as broad as daylight. Have you seen these two together!? They’re all over each other, all the time!! Yami gives Yugi confidence, and Yugi overall makes Yami a better person. These two are perfect for each other.

3. Puppyshipping (SetoxJou)- I've never met a single person who doesn't love this pairing. (Edit: I met one person, one time that doesn't love this pairing).

4. Thiefshipping (MalikxBakura)- These two are such troublemakers. You love to hate them, so why not ship them? LittleKuriboh works this pairing with hilarity; you have to admit that. Love you, LK. They can be dark and angsty together, or they can just be lovable rabble-rousers. There’s a lot of room to play with.

Hetero-

1. YugixAnzu-

2. JouxMai-

3. SetoxKisara-

The answer to all three is canon. If it’s canon, the pairing usually works. Though, I much prefer YugixAnzu to YamixAnzu. I think Kazuki Takahashi may be one of the better romance writers among shonen authors (which isn't saying much, but still).

Shakespeare: That’s right. I am such a nerd that I ship Shakespeare characters.

Hamlatio- Otherwise known as HamletxHoratio. Love these two. Hamlet and Horatio are totally having a gay love affair. They’ve known each other since childhood, and Hamlet has forsaken the world of women (see “Piece of Work” and “Frailty thy name is woman” speeches). These two can so be played in love with the dialogue they have together. Hamlet can be all over Horatio all the time if you play it right, and then Horatio has that whole speech about how he can’t live without Hamlet and threatens to kill himself. These two are in the text….God I love Shakespeare.

AntonioxBassanio- Merchant of Venice. Okay, this pairing is proved by four lines of dialogue. “Antonio, I am married to a wife/ Which is as dear to me as life itself./ But life itself, my wife, and all the world/ Are not with me esteemed above thy life.” Bassanio says this in Act 4 scene 1. He values Antonio’s life above his own and his wife’s. ‘Nough said.

One Piece, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Hetalia:

I'm going to make this very simple. There is not one pairing in either anime that I don't love. I mean, you could probably find one maybe if you really tried (yes, that is a challenge), but overall, I'll take pretty much anything with these three find specimen of anime. Though, if it's noncon, I probably won't like it. Like if there's no way this pairing is possible without sexual assault, then I probably won't support it. Probably.

I leave you with this:

NEVER DENY THE IMPORTANCE OF THE OXFORD COMMA:

"We had a party and invited the strippers, Nixon, and Kennedy" is a very different sentence than, "We had a party and invited the strippers, Nixon and Kennedy"

Ok, so maybe I know a lot about grammar. I definitely don't know the most about grammar though.