A/N: A very special thank you to the wonderful Black Friar for the excellent beta!

This part takes place before Artemis joins the team.

Warning for sexual assault on a minor.

Breathe…can't- why- can't…breathe..?

Dick fought his way to consciousness, struggling to make his chest expand so he could take a proper breath. He was lying on his back and…something was on top of him and it was- moving. Something solid and warm and heavy, crushing his chest and pinning his legs to the cold floor beneath him. He instinctively tried to push whatever it was off of him, but when he attempted to move his arms his shoulders screamed at him and something bit into his wrists.

His hands were restrained above his head.

What the hell?

Something soft and wet dragged across his neck, his jaw, his lips, immediately followed by something coarse that rubbed against his skin and left it feeling burned. He turned his head away but the uncomfortable sensations followed him. When he opened his eyes it was to blackness, making his breath catch until he realized he was blindfolded.

What the hell was going on? He remembered being on a mission with the team and the familiar feel of his mask told him he was Robin right now so… Had he gotten himself captured? Because that would so not be cool and-

"Christ, you're so fucking pretty."

Startled, Robin jerked his head to the side, away from the hot breath muttering against his ear. The blood drained from his face and his heart thudded in his chest –

There was a guy on top of him! And he was- he was-

"S-stop!" Robin exclaimed, grateful that at least he wasn't gagged. "Get off me!"

A rough, calloused hand was clamped over his mouth.

"Shut up," the man growled. "If you make the boss come in here I'll kill you."

The man's lips brushed against the shell of his ear and Robin shuddered with revulsion. He tried to twist away, but the man's full weight was on his chest, trapping him. A finger forced itself past his lips and Robin bit down. Hard.

"OW! You fucking little bitch!"

The man snatched his hand back but before Robin had a chance to yell his cheek exploded with pain, his head snapping to the side. Another blow struck his temple and stars erupted behind his closed eyelids.

"Enough foreplay," the man muttered against his ear, once more covering Robin's mouth with his hand. "I'm going to make you bleed, bitch."

"-should be doing this? He's just a kid."

Robin jerked at the sound of a new voice. There was more than one guy?!

"He's a vigilante," the man on top of him snapped. "If he's old enough to fight crime, he's damn well old enough to get fucked. Now shut up and watch the door."

The words rang in his ears and Robin's panic skyrocketed. He renewed his struggles, bucking and twisting and kicking with all his might, trying desperately to dislodge his assailant. The man grunted and swore when Robin's knee connected with something. The heavy weight shifted from his chest to his legs, immobilizing them completely and making Robin groan in frustration.

"Fuck, forget the door," the man above him hissed to whoever else was with them. "Help me hold him down!"

"But-"

"Myron, I swear to god, if you don't shut the fuck up and help me, I'll tell the boss about your little escapades with his fucking daughter and he'll put a bullet in your face before you can even think about beggin' for mercy!"

"Jesus Christ, all right!"

Robin heard the other guy approach and he twisted and writhed but couldn't prevent his ankles from being seized. The man's weight shifted again as he straddled Robin's waist. The hand covering his mouth was pressing down hard enough to bruise, his teeth cutting up the inside of his lips.

The pressure let up suddenly but when Robin opened his mouth to call out, something soft and wet was thrust inside and all that came out was a muffled whimper. Before he'd gathered the wits to bite down, the tongue was gone and the hand was slapped across his mouth once more. The taste of the man's saliva made him gag.

Desperate, he tried to pull his ankles from the other man's grasp, but the guy held firm. Something tore at the front of his uniform with such force that after a few seconds Robin heard a ripping sound and felt something give. The next thing he knew a cold hand was roaming his chest, trailed by something wet.

Goosebumps crawled all over his body, his stomach rolled, and he yanked on his restraints as hard as he could. His attacker responded by scraping his teeth along the skin of his stomach and Robin cried out in pain when the guy bit down and sucked. Bile spilled into Robin's throat, threatening to choke him, and he swallowed it down desperately.

"Spread his legs," the man ordered breathlessly, and Robin screamed into the hand that still covered his mouth.

Stop it! STOP!

No matter how hard he tried to prevent it, his legs were forced apart and he felt the man settle between them. He yelped when a hand suddenly fondled him through his tights and he instinctively tried to close his legs, but the grip on his ankles was too strong and then something hard was pressing against his thigh and-

Oh god, oh god. No, no, no, no, no, no, no… Not happening. Not happening!

The crushing weight on his chest returned as the man lay down on top of him once more and he was suffocating, his panic making his lungs scream for oxygen but his body unable to draw in enough air through his nostrils.

His head hurt and his heart was roaring in his ears. Darkness crept into the edges of his vision.

Don't black out! Don't black out! Fight, Grayson, you have to fight!

But his brain was being starved of oxygen; it was getting harder to think straight and he knew his struggles were weakening. All his mind was able to latch onto was the fear and horror and utter helplessness that was beginning to paralyze his limbs.

There was a distant crash, but he was barely aware of it. His mind was being overwhelmed by the unwanted touches, the hot, rancid breath, the hand that was shoving down his tights, the-

"-the hell-? Oh god! GET OFF OF HIM!"

Between one breath and the next, the crushing, suffocating weight on his chest was gone and so was the bruising pressure on his lips. His ankles were suddenly released.

Someone somewhere was shouting, there was gunfire and he heard things crash and break, and then more yelling but he was too busy trying to suck in a proper breath to be able to make sense of it.

Suddenly, hands were on him again and he at least knew that was bad so he struggled, trying to get those hands off of him, to get away, anything, but the fingers only tightened around his arms.

"GET OFF ME!"

The hands let go of him instantly. "Dude! Rob! Robin, it's okay, it's okay! It's me, it's Wal- Kid Flash!"

Something brushed against his cheek and he jerked his head away, but then the blindfold was removed and Robin was looking up into a pair of wide green eyes.

Wally. Wally was here.

And- judging by the crashing sounds around them the team was also here, which meant- which meant he was safe.

"Rob, dude, you okay?" Wally asked. "Hang on, I'll get you loose in a sec, I'm just gonna- uh…pull up- pull up your tights and stuff, okay?"

Oh god. Oh god. He was totally exposed, and the team was right there. Heat crept into his face.

As Wally reached down, Robin was able to see past his friend's shoulder and he caught a glimpse of M'gann. Innocent, gentle M'gann, her eyes ablaze, expression fierce, as she ruthlessly slammed someone into a wall.

Robin flinched as Wally tugged on his tights and pulled them over his hips, and tried very, very hard not to freak out at the touches and his friend's close proximity. Keep it together. It's just Wally. You're fine.

It took Wally several tries but when he finally managed to undo the restraints around Robin's wrists, Robin immediately struggled to sit up, breathing hard.

"Kid, is Robin all right?" Aqualad called out from somewhere, but Robin was too busy trying to get his breathing under control to look over.

"Not sure," he heard Wally say. "I think he's freaking out."

Robin scowled. He was not freaking out – and opened his mouth to say so, to tell them he was fine, but he somehow couldn't make his lips form the words.

"Get him to the bioship," Aqualad directed. "Look after him, we will be there soon."

Wally turned back to face him. "Rob? Dude, you with me? Can you stand?"

Still breathing hard, Robin nodded, getting to his feet. As soon as he was upright, however, the world tilted dangerously and his legs gave out. Wally caught him by the arm before he ended up on his rear, but the physical contact made his whole body tense up. He tried to make himself relax – it's just Wally, stop freaking out! – but it was hard and he didn't understand why his legs wouldn't work.

"Dude, what's wrong?"

"Dizzy," was all Robin managed to say.

"Okay, no prob, dude, I'll just give you a lift to the bioship. I'm just gonna uh…pick you up now, alright?"

Wally's arm slipping behind his knees made Robin tense up all over again, which Wally apparently noticed because he froze suddenly and said, "Uh…you're not gonna ninja-kick me in the teeth or anything, are you? It's just me, okay, dude? I'm not gonna hurt you."

Wally was speaking to him as if he was a wounded animal about to lash out and it made Robin want to roll his eyes, until he realized the comparison probably wasn't too far off the mark. He didn't really feel in control of anything right now, so he just kept silent and nodded.

The world became a blur and the wind tore at him but the bioship's small medical bay materialized around him before he could even count to five. He stumbled a little as Wally set him down on his feet but pulled away when his friend reached for him.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, of course you are."

Robin glanced up, surprised at the sarcasm in his friend's voice but looked away quickly when he saw the sympathy in Wally's eyes. With trembling hands he tried to pull the tattered remains of his tunic closer around him, only realizing now that his cape was missing. At least his legs seemed to be working now, and the world wasn't spinning as badly as before.

"Dude, you're shaking. Sit down, okay?"

Without looking at Wally, he gingerly lifted himself onto the examination table and sat there, trying not to think about what had just happened. About what had almost happened. He reached up to wipe at his mouth.

"Jeez, your wrists are a mess."

Robin looked down at his wrists and blinked at the blood and the deep, angry gouges he found there. He'd been so desperate to get away from- those men, he hadn't even felt the restraints cutting into his flesh.

Wally grabbed the first-aid kit and Robin hissed as antiseptic was pressed against the wounds on his right wrist.

"Sorry," Wally said, but Robin wasn't really paying attention. He actually kind of welcomed the stinging pain because it diverted his thoughts away from- from- he wasn't going to think about that.

They were silent for a while as Wally dabbed at his wrists and Robin concentrated on keeping his mind from wandering.

"Dude, what- what happened?" Wally asked finally, his tone uncharacteristically hesitant. "I mean, how did they…uh…grab you?"

"I- don't know," Robin answered, because he really didn't. The last thing he remembered was hooking up his wrist computer to an old desktop. His head ached so they might've hit him over the head or something but he doubted they would've been able to sneak up on him. Maybe they'd shot him with something from a distance? Like with a drug-laced dart, or a bean bag, or-?

Wally cleared his throat, pulling Robin's attention back to the present. "Hey, Rob?" Wally started, pausing in the middle of bandaging Robin's left wrist, and Robin braced himself for what he knew Wally wanted to ask. "Did he- I mean, those guys- did they…hurt you? Okay, dumb question, of course they hurt you, but I mean- did- did they-"

"No," Robin interrupted. "They- he didn't- didn't do- that."

Wally breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank. God. Rob, I'm so sorry we didn't get there sooner, but Supey-"

And then Wally launched into some long-winded explanation and Robin found his mind drifting back to- something he didn't want to think about. He didn't want to think about the hands touching him, but he could feel them, feel the fingernails scraping across his skin, the tongue in his mouth, the-

"Uh…bioship to Rob."

A hand was suddenly waving in his face and he snapped back to the here and now with a start. "W-what?"

"Dude, you weren't even listening, were you?"

"Sorry."

Wally looked at him, green eyes serious. "No, Robin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we let them get their paws on you. We should've- we should've had your back."

Robin studied his knees. "No," he said, "it wasn't-"

The bioship's cargobay door opened suddenly and he launched himself off the examination table, shifting into a defensive stance as soon as his feet hit the floor, Wally already moving in front of him to intercept.

When Aqualad's tall form appeared, flanked by a floating M'gann, Robin's knees almost grew weak with relief.

"Jeez! You could've knocked or something!" Wally exclaimed, relaxing his stance and placing a dramatic hand over his heart. "You scared the crap out of us."

"Apologies," Aqualad said as he passed Wally, his gaze falling on Robin. "Are you all right?"

The concern in the pale blue eyes stirred uncomfortable memories and he quickly looked away, automatically trying to pull his ruined tunic closed. "Fine," he mumbled.

Aqualad didn't push, and Robin was grateful. He let Wally finish wrapping his wrists and accepted the icepack he was given for his cheek. He started when something was draped over his shoulders – jeez, Grayson, get a grip already! – and glanced up at M'gann's gentle smile. The sympathy she was radiating made his stomach churn but he forced a weak smile in return and thanked her for the blanket.

As he made his way to his seat, he wrapped the blanket tightly around himself, realizing for the first time he was still shaking. He waited for the seat to strap him in before drawing his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, clinging to the blanket. Superboy was staring at him, he knew, but he resolutely turned his own gaze to the window, watching the world shrink as the bioship rose into the air.

He wished he'd just stayed with the team. None of this would've happened if he hadn't gone off on his own like that. What had he been thinking? He wasn't Batman. He couldn't do all the things his mentor could. This is what he got for being cocky. What happened- what that guy did…was his own damn fault. And as grateful as he was that the team had come for him before things had really gotten out of hand, he wished they hadn't seen him like that.

Exposed, vulnerable…helpless.

Bile burned the back of his throat and he swallowed it back down with difficulty.

"I'm-" He stopped and cleared his throat before trying again. "I'm sorry."

There was a pause.

"Why are you sorry?" Superboy demanded, and Robin flinched at the unexpected vehemence in his voice.

"Jeez, Supey, you wanna dial it down a little?" Wally said, frowning at Superboy.

"Why?" Superboy demanded. "What those men were doing to Robin was wrong! Why would anyone do that? It was perverted and-"

"And can we not talk about- that?" Robin interrupted, feeling his cheeks start to burn again. He did not want to be reminded of what that guy had been doing to him, especially not with his friends right there. He fought the sudden urge to wipe his mouth again. "I just meant- I'm sorry you guys had to come save my butt, and…and had to see- that."

"Robin, you do not need to apologize," Aqualad said. "We are a team and as such we look out for one another. However, going off on your own without telling us where you were going was dangerous and reckless. Your capture might have been prevented had you informed us of your position."

Robin pulled his blanket up to his chin, knowing that Aqualad was right. I guess I deserved what I got. "Listen, uh..." he started. "Could you- could you not mention this to anyone?"

Silence. Robin looked over to see his team mates exchange shocked glances.

"I mean, just the- the assault part," he added quickly. "Just- just tell Red I was strapped to a chair or- or something when you found me, okay?"

"Rob, you know Bats will find out what really happened," Wally said.

"I know, I just- I want to tell him on my own terms, okay? When- when I'm ready."

His team mates glanced at each other once more and Robin wondered if they were communicating in some kind of telepathic group chat he hadn't been invited to. The thought stung a little.

"Fine," Superboy said finally, arms folded across his chest and looking extremely displeased. Not that that was unusual. Wally and M'gann looked to Aqualad, who nodded. "Very well."

Robin smiled at them, hoping it conveyed at least some of his gratitude. "Thanks, guys. I promise I'll- I'll tell Batman soon."

Most of the rest of the flight was spent in silence, which was unusual. Even Wally was quiet. Robin didn't blame him. He supposed that what had happened today had made an impression on all of them.

After the bioship had docked at Mount Justice, Robin managed to sneak out of the hangar and slip into his quarters, where he took a quick shower and changed into civvies before he was due to report to Red Tornado for the debrief. He stuffed his ruined uniform in the trash, trying not to dwell on what happened to it, and stopped by the medbay to get his wrists checked out and redressed before meeting up with his team in the briefing room.

The debrief took longer than Robin was comfortable with, but his teammates kept their word and didn't mention anything about the assault. He thanked his lucky stars that Batman wasn't here to do the debrief; he would've known they were hiding something even before they opened their mouths and probably would've gotten the full story out of them in seconds.

He knew he owed his team and would have to make it up to them big time, but right now all he wanted to do was go home and hide for the rest of the week- maybe even for the rest of the year. It felt like a chunk of lead had settled in his stomach, and he was cold- freezing almost. Like the lead had somehow become liquid and was piercing his veins to spread its poison throughout his body.

Wally stopped him on his way to the zeta tube with a hand on his shoulder.

"Dude, is uh…B. back from his business trip yet?"

"No," Robin replied, gritting his teeth against the urge to shake off Wally's hand. "Not until tomorrow."

"Okay. So uh…" Wally hesitated, removing his hand from Robin's shoulder to rub the back of his neck, "do you- do you want me to stay over? We could play some video games and stuff if you want? 'Cause tomorrow's Sunday so I can just call mom and let her know-"

"No. No, that's okay," Robin cut in. "Thanks, Wally, I appreciate it, I just- I kind of want to be by myself right now."

"You sure?"

The concern on Wally's face almost made him squirm. "Yeah. Thanks though." He managed to muster up a smile for his friend and give him a small wave before hurrying to the zeta tube to avoid bumping into anyone else.

When he arrived at the Batcave he was relieved to find Alfred wasn't there. But his relief was short-lived; he'd barely taken two steps before he realized he was shaking again. The cold slowly taking over his body was getting worse and his skin was starting to prickle, his chest suddenly feeling tight. He threw a quick glance at the staircase to make sure Alfred wasn't coming down to greet him and trotted over to the showers.

The water scalded his skin when he stepped into the stall and he paused for a moment, watching his reddening skin swallow up the scratches, bruises and…other marks on his legs and torso. He reached for the shower gel and started scrubbing, ignoring the stinging pain. His quick shower at Mount Justice hadn't been enough to eliminate the lingering feel and smell of- of what that guy had been doing to him.

He opened his mouth and tilted his head back to let the water inside, hoping it would rid him of the horrible taste of the man's saliva that still clung to his teeth and gums. It burned a little, but it felt good, cleansing- until some of the water went down the wrong way and he choked and suddenly he found himself on his hands and knees on the shower floor, gagging as memories of roaming, bruising hands assaulted him.

He didn't know how long he stayed that way, gasping for air while he dry-heaved before he finally managed to employ one of Bruce's breathing techniques and was able to calm himself down enough to be able to think somewhat clearly again. He picked himself up off the tiled floor slowly, knees shaking, and turned off the shower, hating the way his hand trembled.

A polite knock on the dressing room door made him jump.

"Master Dick?"

Crap. Alfred.

"Master Dick, is everything alright?"

"Uh…yeah. Yeah, fine. I'll- I'll be out in a sec."

He dried off quickly, stepped out of the shower and pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a sweater, all the while berating himself for being so pathetic. A panic attack in the shower…god, what would Bruce think of him? He'd be so disappointed.

Dick tucked his hands into the sleeves of his sweater so Alfred wouldn't see the bandages around his wrists. There wasn't anything he could do to hide the bruises on his face, but they didn't tell a story like the wounds on his wrists did, and he'd come back with worse. Maybe Alfred wouldn't pay too much attention to them.

Right.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped outside. "Hey Alfred," he greeted, with a smile that he hoped was bright enough.

"Good evening, young sir," Alfred said. He was standing just outside the door, holding a plate with healthy snacks in one hand and a glass of juice in the other. "How was your mission?"

"Uh…yeah, it was totally asterous. I mean, we got what we came for and the baddies were picked up by the local police, so, you know. Mission accomplished."

"Hm-mm? I'm glad to hear it. And may I ask how you acquired those bruises, sir?"

Crap.

"Yeah, uh…there was this huge guy that came out of nowhere and got in a few lucky hits." Whoa, okay, lying to Alfred was hard. "Anyway, they're just minor bruises, so it's fine. I'm fine."

Alfred regarded him sternly. "I shall be the judge of that if you don't mind, sir." He set the plate and glass down on the nearest flat surface and turned back to take Dick's chin between his fingers, gently tilting his head to the side to get a closer look.

A shiver ran down Dick's spine at the touch, as if someone had slid ice down his back, and he jerked his chin out of Alfred's grasp. "I said I'm fine, okay?" he snapped.

Alfred raised an eyebrow and Dick's cheeks burned. He swallowed. "Sorry, Alfred," he muttered, backing away and looking anywhere but at Alfred. He ducked his head and fled up the stairs to the manor, feeling the older man's eyes on him the whole way.