Hello, dear readers. Yes. I also thought this story was long abandoned. It's a surprise to me too. Almost a 10 year hiatus, and I've finally spit out a new chapter for you. Writing became a little therapuetic in the current crisis that our world is in. I'm sure you understand. Anyways, if anyone is still reading, drop me a word, and I hope you enjoy!

A Cook's Recipe For:

C5: Soul Shades

The only you that you can see

Doesn't have the same color soul

That the man you shattered once sees.

You may think he's color blind.

In fact, it goes both ways.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Start with:

One pot boiling water...

2 tsp salt

A dash of unfiltered sunlight

3 restless thoughts

Wait 8 to 10 minutes... or maybe 100.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Zoro had Luffy in his arms and he was sinking. That was clearly not the direction he wanted to go in. Even the most directionally challenged man knew this. His legs were trying double time to kick them both upwards towards the surface of the murky water, clearly to no avail. The water seemed thicker than usual... blacker. The intense saltiness stinging Zoro's tongue and eyes. He couldn't see much around him; only the red vest bunched between his fist and the limp young captain snug in his arms, beyond that only the tiny glitters of light above them that seemed to be growing fainter instead of brighter. Shit. Zoro kicked his legs harder, straining. And his heart jumped as they seemed to only sink faster.

Damn it.

Why wasn't this working? He moved one of his arms from around Luffy's sagging body and wrapped his other arm tighter, using his free arm to try and claw towards the surface as well. But to no avail.

Zoro's chest was absolutely burning. His lungs felt ready to explode. He closed his eyes, pinching them shut against the sting of blue salt and tried to focus his aura and all of his strength on the task at hand. He could do this.

He wasn't going to let his captain down. Wasn't going to let his crew down. He kicked more frantically, clawed his arm upwards with all his might. He felt his muscles screaming at him. Tired from his endless training session, and sleep deprivation. Painful from the fatigue.

Weak.

Weak.

His eyes shot open, and the light above them seemed to be a little closer than before. A little tiny bit closer. And then Zoro saw her. Above him. A little off center. Saw... her... swimming? With a sword. But it was stabbed through her chest, and there was blood. Blood behind her, trailing through the ocean, glinting crimson in the small amount of sunlight that was filtering in through the horizon. Blood that was slowly coming closer the harder Zoro swam; oozing throughout the thick sea. He felt his legs slowing on their own. The blood was right before his eyes. Kuina was still swimming madly. Like a shark. Back and forth. Sword looking so fin-like, the point of the dagger protruding from the middle of her back. She turned towards him then and Zoro froze. Her eyes were pure white. Her face was Kuina's... but not. It was corpse-like. Like Zoro was looking into the face and eyes of a demon. He pulled Luffy closer, and couldn't help but scream, the cry dying on his lips before it begun as water rushed into his mouth.

Water and blood.

Salty. Metallic. Over his tongue.

And then Zoro couldn't move anymore. He couldn't breathe anymore. His legs frozen in time. Arms limp. Something had grabbed him then, but he was too numb to fight back. Too numb to protest. Something was pulling him through the water, and Luffy was suddenly out of his arms. He couldn't move them anymore if he tried. Couldn't get his Captain back. Zoro's mind scrambled. His eyes fell shut powerlessly. The only thing running through his thoughts was "I failed... I'm weak... and I'm sorry...". It was a mantra that was so jumbled that the words were all mushing together. And suddenly it was so cold. And dark.

"Breathe, shitty moss.."

Too weak.

"You fucker. Breathe,"

That voice again. Faint, and harsh.

Zoro could feel it more than he could hear it.

"Breathe!" He felt a crushing pressure on his chest. And something sharp knick against his mouth, smothering him. Salty. So fucking salty. He tried to stick out his tongue. To turn his head away from the horrid taste. The metallic taste was back, still on his tongue,

"He's bleeding!"

"I shit- bit him. Accident. Teeth."

There were frantic words, broken, breathless, and more pressure, jamming against his heart, and more salt. Too much salt. Zoro was suddenly gagging on it all, water crawling up his throat against his will. Cold and hot at the same time. And much too salty. Zoro vomited. He felt his body moving, but couldn't feel his arms and legs. Only intense pain in his chest. Pain in his stomach. His throat. His head. His mouth and tongue were on fire. It all hurt so much. His lips wouldn't stop trembling.

"Zoro- Zoro!"

Someone was screaming his name.

His ears were ringing.

"Breathe!"

So loud. Too loud not to listen.

And so he did.

He listened to the commanding voice.

And he sucked in a breath.

And the salty taste dissipitated a little, and so he sucked in another breath.

"He's breathing!"

He breathed.

He was. Breathing out. And in. And out. His chest was still on fire. I t felt completely cracked open.

"Fucking finally. Shithead."

There was a frustrated growl in his ear, bordering on relieved. Zoro groaned. Cook? He tried to pry his eyes open, but it was hard. They didn't want to budge. He lay panting, and became aware of the ground beneath him. So hard, and cold. It was cold. But solid. He wasn't swimming anymore.

"He's breathing, he is... he's going to be okay." A small voice, soothing. Not as flustered as the voice before. "Are you okay, Sanji?"

It was Chopper. Zoro knew.

The haze in his head was starting to clear a little. Chopper wasn't talking to him, but to the Cook.

"I don't know, Chopper." Sanji. So morose. What was he bitching about now? Zoro groaned. His arms were shaking.

"Damn it, Luffy, stop shaking him like that, you idiot!"

Oh. Luffy's fault.

Nami. A slap against skin. There was a faint cry. And then the shaking in his arms stopped.

Zoro fell still again. Silence was all around him, aside from his own breaths. They sounded so loud in his own ears. He tried to crack his eyes open again. This time it worked.

"Zoro?!" Luffy. Zoro blinked owlishly. Everything was still very blurry. The light was bright. His eyes were burning. He was lying on the deck. On his side. His crew standing around him. And at once everything came rushing back. Thoughts clicking together a little more coherently. Luffy fell in the ocean! He jumped in after him. They were sinking. He tried to get them back to the ship, but Kuina was there. Flinging herself through the water like a shark. He couldn't breathe... there was too much salt. Too much blood. And then blank. Blackness.

Zoro coughed. His chest burned. But Luffy was okay! He was here! Alive! Rubbery face way too close to his own.

Zoro was alive. The pain proved it.

And... Kuina was still dead. He knew. He knew that. Zoro clenched a fist. So then what was that.. another creepy nightmare? A ghost? There were no such things as ghosts. A hallucination then? What was going on...

Zoro coughed again, and water tumbled from his lips. It was warm and salty... and more followed directly after it. He saw Luffy jump back, and he coughed again. Sputtered. More water, tinged with red this time, spilled over his lips. It was sour. Zoro felt hands on his shoulders, helping him off the ground. He was panting so desperately. Lips trembling again.

"You're okay... you'll be okay. Just get it out of your system."

Sanji.

"Sorry, Shithead, I bit your fucking lip."

How? Why..?

What the hell happened?

Zoro blinked. He'd stopped gagging. He moved his stiff arm. Swiped at his wet and salty mouth. Blood came away on his hand, and he used his tongue to carefully lick at his puffy lip. It stung. He felt the hands on his shoulders squeezing him a little tighter. And then long rubbery arms wrapping across his torso. Zoro coughed. Pain seared across his ribs and he slumped back bonelessly into a wet, but warm body. He still couldn't seem to catch his breath fully. Or see straight. Not to mention think straight.

"Luffy?" He tried, and shit, was that croak his voice? "O-k?" He managed again. Tried to clear his throat, but couldn't.

He felt Luffy hold him a little tighter. "Shh... shh.. I'm okay, Zoro. We're okay now." Luffy shushed him. Soothed him. It was so un-Luffy-like. Zoro shuddered. He closed his eyes and then tried opening them again. Trying to get them to focus a little more. It worked, but barely, he still felt absolutely paralyzed. Couldn't ever remember feeling this weak... not ever. Chopper was in his line of vision now. The little reindeer was crouched down in front of him, hoof prodding against his bare chest softly. His little paw was so warm against his stomach... warm.. but it felt like a fucking dagger stabbing him over and over.

Zoro leaned a little harder into Luffy, breath shuddering, his eyes traveling... a little to the right. Nami and Robin were there. They were both frowning down at him. Both looked too pale to Zoro. Robin looked as if she'd seen a ghost, she was holding the navigator's hand, and there was a deep frown across her brows. Nami's eyes however were glistening, and rimmed red, she had her hand that wasn't gripping Robin's pressed up against her mouth. Both women seemed a little too shaken up. Shit... what had happened?

Then he caught sight of Franky. And there... Usopp. Standing closer to the railing. The railing along a part of the deck was broken. The wood was splintered. Franky was touching it gingerly, eyes far away. Usopp was holding a few towels at the ready. His face was withdrawn and serious. He was looking silently towards his left. Zoro followed their sniper's gaze. Sanji... there was the cook. He had sounded so close before, but now he was sitting on the deck, a little closer to the figurehead. His shoulders were wrapped in a thick blue towel. He had his knuckles to his lips. His eyes were cast away, looking toward the sea. He wasn't looking at Zoro. The cook was wet. His blonde hair was plastered against his cheeks. So wet.

They all looked as if someone had died.

But nobody died.

Everyone was okay.

Everybody was accounted for.

Zoro's eyes lingered on the cook, his long fingers were trembling slightly against his chin, the middle finger resting on his lips, but there was no smoke there. Zoro guessed the cook could probably really use one.

Sanji's foot was stretched out in front of him.

His foot.

His cast.

Wet.

Wait…

"Zoro, keep breathing. In. Out." Chopper's voice was in his ear. Zoro blew out a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. And his chest pulsed.

"Fuck," he hissed. His chest... his throat... Chopper gave him a sad look.

"It's your ribs... I know..."

Luffy shifted him in his arms just a little.

His ears were still ringing. Mind still felt too far away. Sanji's eyes suddenly met his. They were so red.. wetter than Nami's.

"Had to." He muttered. It left Zoro a little confused. But Chopper wasn't. He answered back confidently, "I know, and you did great, Sanji, you saved his life," and Usopp was suddenly there beside him too, handing Chopper towels. Zoro felt his own legs trembling. What was that supposed to mean… Saved his life? Was the "he" they were talking about referring to Luffy?

Zoro tried to hold Sanji's gaze, begging for answers, needing to know what was going on, but the cook had already looked away again.

"Zoro, are you with us again?"

Zoro swallowed painfully, eyebrow raising slightly. What kind of asinine question was that, Usopp?

Zoro didn't know how to answer, so he didn't.

Luffy's arms only hugged him tighter, coiling supportingly around his shoulders.

He was oddly quiet. Almost uncomfortably so. Why was Luffy clinging so hard to him anyways? His Captain's aura was radiating a sort of troubled desperation that Zoro felt he needed to quell.

Zoro reached up. His fingers shaking against his will, but he found Luffy's arm, snaked across his chest, and let his hand rest there. Trying to bring some sort of solace to his distraught Captain. He felt Luffy's head against his. His captain's nose burying itself into his hair, nuzzling, and soft breath against his ear.

"I'm so sorry, Zoro."

And Zoro's breath caught again, because what the fuck was going on? Luffy didn't apologize for anything. And he shouldn't have to? "Luf-.." Zoro ground out. His throat was nails. His voice an airy croak, as if it hadn't been used in decades. It hurt to speak. "Why?" He forced the syllable out again.

"It's allmy fault! I fell in the water!" Luffy's voice was louder now, but it still didn't pass as normal. It sounded so guilty. Zoro found his eyes rolling at the answer. He knew that already.

But, Luffy fell in the sea a lot... it wasn't anything new. However, this weird energy radiating from his crew... that was new. This had never happened before. Did Zoro almost drown? Was that what all the fuss was about? Well... okay, that was obviously what it sounded like. He wasn't stupid.

But Luffy was okay! They were both okay. Zoro had jumped overboard to save him. Just like always. So what was the problem then? It all turned out okay in the end.

There was a sharp orange sunlight shining against Zoro's bare toes now. He studied it quietly, toes too tired to wiggle. The sun was sinking in the sky, melting softly into the sea.

Why was Sanji so wet?

Zoro took another suddery breath when Chopper tied off the bandages across his chest. And then a towel was placed over him. He shivered into it, and felt goosebumps explode over his whole body.

And the puzzle in his mind clicked into place. Had Zoro.. not made it back to the surface on his own..?

His head was swimming. He couldn't remember exactly.

"Luffy, can you help Zoro into bed? He still seems to be in shock. A warm bed and some rest will do him good." Chopper was talking right through him. Zoro blinked.

He felt Luffy pick him up then. Zoro wanted to protest. He didn't need to be carried like a baby! He tried to wiggle himself upright, but his entire body protested for him instead. Pain seared through every taut muscle. He had no choice. Luffy held him a little tighter against his chest. Zoro could hear his Captain's heartbeat thrumming against his ear. He couldn't fight anymore. Instead, he rolled himself a little closer, curled up a little smaller in Luffy's strong, stretchy arms, and pressed his eyes shut. He begged everyone to stop staring at him. He could feel their eyes... feel the worry, feel the goddamn pity rolling off of them in waves. "Cap-t'n," he croaked then, the short syllables slurring pathetically together.

"I'm right here, Zoro." Luffy whispered softly, but present. Voice sure. Strong.

Zoro drooped a little further. "-tired." Zoro mouthed, a sound barely fluttered out. But he knew Luffy heard.

"You can rest now." And just like that they were moving across the deck. Salty sea air disappearing as they passed through a doorway, away from everyone's lingering eyes, and downstairs into the ship's bunks. He was already dozing off by the time Luffy laid him on the couch. He couldn't hold his eyes open anymore as he felt Luffy stripping off his wet pants and boxers and covering him with a soft, dry blanket.

"Whoever's hurting my swordsman... I'm gonna kick their ass."

He heard his Captain's vow. It made Zoro a little sad. Because not even the future pirate king could fight something that wasn't even real to begin with. Couldn't fight demons that lived in someone else's mind.

"I won't lose you."

Zoro heard Luffy hiss. He sounded frustrated. Zoro longed to slice whoever was frustrating his captain into a zillion pieces... he opted instead for reaching out and catching Luffy's vest between a fist that was too frail to even close all the way. Instead the fabric draped between his loose fingers. But he could still feel it. It was still there. I won't lose you either. He wanted to say. Couldn't form the words.

"Sleep, Zoro. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." Luffy smoothed a hand over Zoro's eyes and forehead, holding them closed, coaxing the frown lines away. Zoro relaxed further, felt himself slipping into a slumber that he craved much more than the cook was craving his smokes.

The cook. That was the last thing Zoro saw behind closed eyelids as he began drifting off. The cook. Pulling him through the water... past a zombie-like Kuina. So close to his face. Could taste the cook's breath on his own. Feel long nimble fingers digging into his chest.. pressing.. pumping...

Sanji saved Luffy's life.

Sanji saved Zoro's life.

Zoro didn't save anybody.

He was too weak for that. Apparently.

He couldn't stop the burn from welling up behind salt abused eyes, couldn't stop the emotions from leaking out one by one from between his lashes. He felt Luffy's fingertips dancing across his cheeks... soft feather-like touches of his thumb. "Shh.. shh, Zoro. Hey, you're okay."

Ah, fucking hell... he was crying again. Crying in front of Luffy. But strangely enough, it didn't matter all that much. He was too exhausted to feel shame anymore. All he felt was numb.

"I've got you. No one can hurt you now."

More words. More soft fingers brushing his cheeks. Under his eyes. Zoro felt the cool touches against his now burning skin. Must've been more tears. He didn't even feel them slip.

Damn. Weak.

"Hey. Stop that. There are no weak men on my crew." Luffy told him pointedly. Patiently. Convincingly.

Huh? Did Zoro say that out loud? Or was Luffy suddenly a mind reader? His breath shuddered out from between his lips, and he felt himself falling. Slipping deep and fast. Luffy's hand cupping his cheek, catching him as he drifted into a much needed slumber.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Roll, 10 heartbeats through thyme.

Knead tears and apologies to form a crumbly dough.

Add:

1 cup self rising flour

A pinch of stress

3 powerful kicks

A fistful of doubt

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sanji was still dripping. His entire leg was throbbing. His hands wouldn't stop shaking for the life of him. Nami had come immediately to him after Luffy and Zoro went to bed, and began hugging him. Rubbing his shoulders in affection and thankfulness and fear.

"I can't believe that just happened." Her voice was one of disbelief, echoing through Sanji's ears. He wanted to reach out at hug her back, but he couldn't. He couldn't because his mind was still swimming, back in that water. Pulling two limp bodies of his most powerful crewmates out of the shitty ocean. And it fucking hurt. All he wanted to do was fucking break something. None of that should have ever happened. Fuck, Zoro. What the fuck was that?!

"Sanji? Sanjiii?" The man in question startled. Chopper was waving a hoof in front of his face. He shook his head, shaking the water from his hair and out of his eyes. A little bit like a dignified puppy would. Nami was rubbing his back, trying to offer... warmth? Comfort? Sanji didn't know. He honestly wished she would stop. Because he didn't deserve anything like that at the moment. His mind was racing with thoughts and questions and way too much dark shit.

Sanji dug his fingers through his hair. Tugging at the blonde roots harshly.

"What the fuck was that?" He spoke harshly. Too loudly. Breaking the stillness that had fallen over the deck and his remaining crew members.

Shit. He needed a damn cigarette.

"You were amazing, Sanji." Usopp was suddenly to his left. Shitty, Sniper. "You jumped in there so fast.. and the way you helped Zoro, you were-"

"Shut it, Usopp." Sanji cut him off with a snarl. He closed his eyes. Pinched the bridge of his nose. His voice didn't sound nearly as angry as he felt. Usopp fell silent anyways.

"Are you okay, Sanji?" Nami asked him softly. Hand squeezing his shoulder now. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm angry." Sanji grumbled out, he couldn't hide the truth from her. "My foot hurts." He admitted, grimacing. Chopper sprang towards his cast, immediately checking out the wet bandage, and then began the task of trying to unwrap it.

"Something's going on with the Marimo. And I'm frustrated.. and I don't know how to stop it..." He breathed, clenching his teeth tightly when Chopper started cutting through layers of plaster. By the time Sanji's foot was free, he was hissing through a pained grimace, eyes screwed shut. He was gripping Nami's hand and Usopp's pants leg so hard that he felt like throwing up. "Shitty venison, Wait. Stop.. stop!" Sanji squeaked. Tears sprung to his eyes. He glanced down at his foot, surprised to see how black and blue it was. Angry bruises blotching up half of his leg. Sanji breathed heavily through his nose.

Chopper stopped, his small hooves hovering tentatively. "Oh, Sanji... You strained it pretty badly from swimming. Do you want a sedative?"

Sanji panted, nodding. The edges of his vision were a little cloudy. "I'm gonna pass out." He whimpered. Sanji felt Nami smoothing wet bangs back from his face, and lowering him backwards into her lap. His head swirled. The adrenaline was wearing off, and his anger and frustration dissolved into blinding hot pain.

Sanji felt eyes boring into him, as he fought to stay conscious.

"I'll need to treat him in my infirmary." Chopper decided, causing Sanji to shake his head.

"I'm fine." He insisted. Lied.

But Chopper wasn't listening, already asking Franky to bring the Cook and follow him as he darted swiftly away towards his office.

Sanji let the darkness win, and was out cold before he could experience the humiliation that was bestowed upon him as Franky plucked him from Nami's lap and scooped him bridal style towards their doctor's office.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Over low fire, sauté 3 teary onions.

Purée 4 potatoes and 2 bushels of denial.

Throw in a heap of embarrassment, and a generous amount of friendly touches.

Let simmer.

Time: undetermined.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"We'll reach the island a little after midnight." Nami told them all softly, she swirled the drink in her hand gingerly before taking another sip. "We can find a place to dock, and tomorrow we can take it easy... maybe explore a little."

Hours later, Nami, Robin, Usopp, Franky, Chopper, and a freshly bandaged Sanji had gathered themselves around the aquarium bar, trying to soak in the blue light and peaceful atmosphere that the large aquarium adorned the room with. It was one of Franky's most well received designs of the ship. It was tranquil. Watching the fish swimming back and forth gave off a relaxing vibe.

Sanji was leaning back against the bar, fish in the aquarium swimming behind him. Robin's hands were massaging his shoulders. Sanji took another long sip of his wine. He needed this quiet moment with his crew. He needed to vent... to talk. To just breathe for a moment and figure things out. His head was heavy with the events of this afternoon, and his heart was weighted down with the hellish week he was trying to push behind him.

"I gave Zoro mouth to mouth..." he said the words with a dull tone, as if he couldn't bring himself to believe it. But it was true. It happened. And it was absolutely terrifying. Sanji remembered the way his heart nearly stopped when he finally reached the shitty swordsman and his captain in the ocean. He pushed through the pain in his leg and kicked them all to the surface, harder and faster than he'd ever kicked before. He remembered shouting to Usopp the second his head burst out of the water. Scrambling to try and get the two up on deck. Above the surface... Luffy started coughing up water first, before they'd even gotten him back on the ship. The rubber man had bounced back almost immediately, becoming more lucid the longer he was out of the water. But Zoro on the other hand...

Sanji remembered holding his limp, mossy head above the water, the swordsman's body a weighted blip in the ocean. Sanji struggled to tread water, trying to keep them both afloat. The adrenaline pulsing through him was a godsend. As soon as Luffy was safely aboard the Sunny Go, he'd already seemed to sense what was going on, and Luffy had accidentally knocked the buoy from Usopp's hands as stretchy rubber arms shot back into the ocean, catching Sanji and Zoro in powerful arms. The young captain's strength really is inhuman, Sanji remembered thinking, as he was flung back up on deck, unconsious swordsman tucked safely against him. They crashed into the railing, shattering it on impact, before rolling into a soggy heap at Usopp's feet. Sanji sat up shakily, pressing himself up with his hands. Zoro was under him... but he wasn't shoving him away.. why wasn't he...

Zoro wasn't moving. He wasn't waking up. Was he even breathing?

Holy fuck. Sanji studied Zoro's chest, and it was two seconds before all hell broke loose. "He's not breathing!" He panicked, rolling off Zoro fully now, and getting on his knees beside his crew mate. Zoro's face was grey. Ashen. His head lolling to the side sickeningly.

"CHOPPER!"

Luffy and Usopp had shouted then, almost simultaneously. Sanji's ears filled with white noise, as if he was pressed between two giant seashells. His hands hovered restlessly before starting to move Zoro on autopilot. He had tipped Zoro's head back a little, into life saving position, and then heard running feet pounding across the deck. Franky, Robin, Chopper, Nami. Everyone was quick to gather, but Sanji's mind was a blur, and his normally steady hands were trembling as he starting pumping Zoro's diaphragm. Trying desperately to find a heartbeat. Sanji felt Chopper beside him then, but he didn't let the little reindeer take the reigns. He stayed, trying to resuscitate Zoro with his own two shaking hands, and puffing air into Zoro's lungs when Chopper gave him the signal.

And it was a fucking mess. It was chaos. Of course it was. It was Zoro they were dealing with. And Zoro had the nerve to insist that Sanji was the drama queen on this ship... Sanji would beg to fucking differ. It was the most painstakingly few minutes of Sanji's entire life. And then suddenly it was all over. The swordsman spewed and flopped like a dying fish, and then Zoro was breathing again. He was alive...

Sanji hiccuped, startling himself out of his memories. Admittedly, he may have been a little tipsy. It may have been a little too soon to laugh about it. Not that he was laughing. He wasn't. Nothing was funny. Sanji felt his neck burning, the tips of his ears warming. His eyes prickled with emotion.

"If it was just a minute later... do you think he would have died?" Sanji asked no one. He asked the ceiling. The lamps. Maybe he was asking God. But Robin answered instead.

"We don't have to worry about that, because it didn't happen." She said matter of factly.

Sanji bit his lip. How would it have sounded... the future world's greatest swordsman and future pirate king had died by drowning in calm waters, on a clear day. He wanted a cigarette. He wanted one so bad... he thought about the heart to heart he'd had with Zoro the night before. Thought about how broken and emotional and human the brute had seemed. Remembered how touched he had gotten by Sanji's cheesy but honest words... thought about how they'd gone from a train wreck fight to practically cordial in just 24 hours..

And Sanji had also remembered how Zoro had screamed his name in his sleep... how tortured his eyes looked when he'd left the bedroom.

How the moss head had carefully avoided him more or less the entire day. And to try to make shit a little less awkward again, Sanji had made Zoro's favorite food for dinner, hoping it would coax the swordsman into another little chat, or at least help him calm the fuck down. But, that had backfired. The onigiri still sat untouched in the fridge, because some dumbasses had decided to go for a little swim... and Zoro never got to eat his dinner.. no one did. And now nothing was resolved. And Zoro had almost fucking died! The shithead!

"Arrrrgh!" Sanji let out a sound of such intense frustration that Usopp gave a startled jump beside him.

"You okay?" The sniper asked sympathetically.

"Not fucking really." Sanji admitted. He gave Usopp a look, and tipped the remainder of his liquor down his throat. "I've had a really shitty week."

Sanji felt warmth spreading through his belly, thanks to the alcohol and an empty stomach. His head was tingling nicely.

Yup, he was definitely tipsy. He burped. Loudly.

"I'm gonna kick Zoro out of his funk if it's the last thing I do." Sanji slurred before letting his head slump against the bar top. "He needs someone to do that. To do that fixer upper thing." Sanji pounded a fist on the table. He grabbed the wine bottle and took a deep swig, "His lips were so fucking salty," He giggled faintly. Couldn't stop himself. Yeah... perhaps drunk.

Franky stole his glass away. And the bottle. Right out of Sanji's hand. The cook looked at the cyborg as if he'd just been attacked.

Usopp patted him on the back. "First kisses are always awkward," he joked. Sanji wobbled on his stool, until Usopp tugged his jacket back sharply so he didn't end up on the ground.

Nami cleared her throat behind her hand, trying to hide the amused smirk there. "Well, I'm tired, and I think it's time the boys got to bed." She rolled her eyes teasingly. Sanji couldn't hold his liquor very well, and it was sort of endearing. But a drunken Sanji was a little too unpredictable for her at the moment. She stood up from the bar stool, and looked at Franky. "Can you help me drop anchor tonight?" She asked.

"Sure thing, Sis." Franky's normal enthusiasm was a little subdued, but he still flashed her a smile, they bid everyone goodnight and the two left, door falling softly closed behind them with a whisper. Robin and Usopp were left in silence with a drunk and half asleep Cook and a snoring reindeer, who was currently curled up on Robin's lap.

"Well, then, Mr. Sniper King.." Robin nudged Usopp with a little lighthearted smile, trying to get the worried frown to disappear from his lips. It worked a little, Usopp gave her a tiny half smile. "Shall we drag these two to bed?"

The sniper nodded kindly, but the concern continued. "Penny for your thoughts?" She asked instead. She filled her shot glass once more and scooted it across the bar towards her silent companion.

Usopp turned his gaze back to Sanji, before looking up at the giant aquarium behind Robin. "I should have been the one to go in after them."

Usopp said quietly. Robin detected a bit of guilt laced into Usopp's tone. "...But I didn't think... I mean, Zoro was there. He had already gone after Luffy, so I didn't think it was necessary. And then, by the time that I realized something didn't seem right, Sanji was already diving in." Usopp crossed his arms close to his chest, and gave a small sigh. He picked up the shot and downed it in one go, cringing afterward.

Robin pinned him with an even gaze. "You couldn't have stopped Sanji." She told him honestly. "And you did help. You did everything you could."

Usopp shrugged. She was probably right.

Sanji let out a loud and undignified snore beside him.

"It's their battle to fight now." Robin voiced sullenly. "Sanji has taken on a significant role in Zoro's nightmares."

Usopp shuddered at the way Robin could speak so casually over such haunting things. "Nightmares..." Usopp repeated, looking contemplatively back at Sanji's snoring figure. "What do you think Zoro's been dreaming about anyway?"

"I have a feeling only Sanji knows, and even then, only a little of the truth... Zoro isn't exactly an open book." Robin shrugged. "But even so, I think our Swordsman is trying to ask for our help. Especially now.. the only problem is there isn't much we can do."

Usopp sighed, looking down into his lap, feeling buzzed and a little hopeless. "Maybe this new island will help a little." He tried to imagine a positive and peaceful island... with no monsters... no giant bugs... no navy... but that was a slim chance, Usopp knew. An island paradise on this part of the Grand Line was such a far fetched idea. He crossed his fingers anyway.

"Who knows." Robin gave him a gentle smile, her eyes closing softly.

"It's just weird seeing Zoro like this." Usopp told her.

Robin nodded. "It must be. But, we mustn't forget, he is human."

There was a pause of silence, before Robin spoke again. "Shall we also get a little rest?" She started shoveling the sleepy reindeer into her arms and then passed him quietly towards Usopp. The sniper took him without question, already standing up.

"What about Sanji?" He asked.

Robin pulled out a book from under the bar that she must have stashed there earlier. "I'll stay a while. I'd like to read a little. And, I also have Watch." She blinked and pointed upwards with a smug little smile. Usopp blinked back. The fact that Robin could complete her Watch effectively from anywhere on the ship was something that Usopp regularly forgot. Because it gave him chills.

He bid a sleepy goodnight and left the two alone, carrying Chopper towards his bunk, more than ready to crash.

Robin gently smoothed the wild blond hair back out of Sanji's face. His hair was getting longer, she mused, studying him. Sanji did very well, today. He'd saved his crewmate's lives, and Robin knew he was still feeling that emotional toll very deeply. Sanji always held on to happenings like that very closely. Kept them buried deep inside. The Swordsman and the Chef were very similar in that regard, even if they both would never admit it.

Robin read distractedly, and kept Watch late into the night. And then there was a "Land-Ho!" Called out in hushed tones. A smile graced Robin's thin lips. It seemed they had arrived.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Count 10 sheep

Mix with one liter crushed ice

And a splash of drool.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Zoro was floating in a pool, on his back; the sun glistened in the water all around him, making the entire pool glow with a stunning turquoise blue light. He felt so relaxed, floating there.

Soon another body came floating up next to him. It was Sanji.

The cook was completely naked.

Zoro turned casually to look him up and down, he opened his mouth to say something when he caught sight of something bobbing in the water next to the cook. Zoro looked a little harder, squinting, and something else floated up out of the water. Both objects were small, and Zoro reached out to grab one. He dropped it again instantly when he realized it was an eyeball. They were suddenly popping up all around them.

Blue eyeballs. All blue. Bobbing and floating in the water, turning and rolling against the still blue pool.

"I see you." Sanji whispered loudly, before turning to look at Zoro, and the eyes in his head weren't his own. Sanji's eyes had become brown, tense, harder, wider. Zoro knew those eyes, of course he did. Sanji had Kuina's eyes.

And then the blond began to laugh.

Zoro gasped again, and his own eyes snapped open. His heart was beating fast. And he was staring up at the ceiling. A dream, he thought. Disturbing. But just a dream. He was warm, he noticed first. Warm and wrapped burrito style in a blanket. Someone was breatheing against his ear. He turned his head slightly to the right. His nose was brushed with a bushel of saltwater black hair. Luffy.

His captain was passed out next to him, on his knees next to the couch, head sharing Zoro's pillow. Luffy's hand was resting over Zoro's heart. What time was it...?

Zoro lay there, trying to regulate his breathing. He still felt tired, like all his energy had been drained from his body and there was no refill. Oh, yeah. He'd almost drowned... had that really happened?

The fact that he had no clothes on, and his chest was nothing but pain and bandages was a clear indication that it had happened. That one wasn't a dream. The pain rocketing through him was also a pretty big hint.

Above deck he could hear excited chatter and squealy voices. Could hear seagulls crying. Squawk, squawk. Squawk. The ship was oddly calm. There was no up and down motion... very still waters, perhaps? Or...

The island. They must've made it. Must've been docked.

And Luffy was missing it?

Zoro shifted slightly, and hissed. Pain ran through him angrily. Red hot and full of vengeance.

Luffy stirred, he moaned slightly, and caught Zoro's open eyes.

"Hey, sleepy head..." Zoro greeted roughly, through gritted teeth. "Sorry if I woke you." His voice was still incredibly hoarse, and his throat ached.

"Zoro!" Luffy whisper exclaimed. "My swordsman's awake." Luffy sat up straight, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "How's Zoro feeling?"

Zoro tried sitting up a little, but the pain in his chest stayed. "Hurts a little." He admitted.

"You talked a lot in your sleep." Luffy told him, reaching for the nightstand where Chopper had laid some medicine out for when Zoro woke up. "Chopper said you'd need these."

Luffy pressed two white tablets into Zoro's hand, and dangled a glass of water before his nose. Zoro took the offered medicine gratefully and without question. He still felt tired, and wasn't sure if he remembered the events of what happened earlier correctly or not. "How long have we been sleeping?"

Luffy shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. "Just night time. It's not breakfast time yet." Luffy giggled. "But I bet you're as hungry as I am. Well... maybe I'm hungrier than Zoro. But only a little."

Luffy was smiling brightly, and looking at Zoro with imploring eyes, but Zoro only gave an indifferent shrug. "More tired than hungry." He confessed. Luffy gave him a look as if that was the most impossible things in the world.

"Hey," Luffy suddenly came closer and whispered with a large grin, "we found a new island!" Luffy was suddenly bouncing. "I saw it this morning. It looks big! Do you wanna go check it out with me?"

Zoro couldn't help the smile that curled across his lips. His captain was back to his usual happy go lucky self. More or less. "I'm gonna wait for Chopper's miracle pills to kick in, and I think I'll hang here for a little longer. If that's okay."

Luffy nodded. He pinned Zoro with a deeper look, and suddenly wrapped his rubbery arms twice around Zoro's shoulders. "Are you really okay? Everyone is asking. They're really worried about Zoro..." Luffy held him quietly. Zoro blushed deeply in Luffy's hug. He couldn't help it.

"I'm okay, Captain. I'm alive, aren't I?" Zoro patted Luffy on the back. Knowing that he was also included in that "everyone" that Luffy had mentioned.

"I'm still a little foggy on what happened.." he felt Luffy's arms loosen up a little, and suddenly there was a straw hat on his head.

Zoro blinked. "What's this for?" He questioned.

"So you know you aren't alone today." Luffy told him fondly, "even if I go explore the island and you're on the ship by yourself. Then you know you're okay!"

Good ol' Luffy logic. Zoro felt his heart swell, and skip a beat. He didn't regret following Luffy for second. The young man was a great captain. "Thank you, Luffy."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Mix with 4 cups of exhaustion.

Stuff it all inside a very large bird.

Bake for half a night and half a day.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

An hour later Zoro found himself up on the lawn deck. He sat beneath the fruit trees, cradling his swords in his lap. The majority of the group had left a little while ago. Everyone seemed beyond relieved to see him up and about, and nobody batted an eye when Zoro told them he wanted a little time to relax on the ship. He'd even gotten a hug from Nami, and his share of gold in case he changed his mind about going inland, without even the slightest warning about paying back interest.

Nami said the log pose needed five days to set. There would be plenty of time to explore the island later. After Zoro had some time to bathe, and his legs stopped feeling so much like jelly.

Zoro let the simple quiet wash over him.

The sky was blue.

The sun was shining.

There was a slight breeze rustling the trees and grass around him.

Zoro took out his sword polish and situated himself to give those three a little tender love and care.

Until uneven footsteps broke the stillness.

"Yo, Marimo, almost couldn't find you in the grass. You blend right in."

Sanji...

Zoro rolled his eyes. Funny guy.

He peered up at the cook. "Why aren't you on land with the others?"

Sanji shrugged, "I had stuff to do. And I didn't want to slow anyone down." He gave his casted foot a little shake. "You missed breakfast, Shithead. Luffy said you were awake."

"Wasn't very hungry." Zoro slid the black cloth along the length of Wado Ichimongi.

"You haven't eaten for over a day." Sanji countered.

Zoro shrugged, he didn't really want to argue. "It's nice to know that you're worried about me, Cook, but mind your own business." He sighed, and went back to tending to his swords.

Sanji bristled, but bit back the acidic response on his tongue and let it slide. He didn't really want to fight, and judging by Zoro's uninterested tone, he didn't want a fight either. If the algae head wanted to take better care of his weapons than he did his body, then why should Sanji care?

"I didn't come here to mother you." Sanji finally caved, "I actually wanted to ask if you've ever tried mindfulness yoga?"

It was a startling question, one that caught Zoro a little off guard.

"Excuse me?" The swordsman cleared his throat.

"It's a type of exercise, muscle head."

"Yeah, but you're asking me because...?"

"Because... You meditate a lot, but this is a little different. I thought maybe you'd like to try it some time. It really helps to clear your head."

Zoro listened silently.

"And I could show you how. If you want." Sanji offered.

Huh. Interesting. Zoro rolled his shoulders, continuing to polish his sword, back leaning against the mandarin tree. "I'm busy now." Zoro dismissed, but looked up from his work. Luffy's hat was perched on his sword's white sheath, perched against the tree alongside him. He caught Sanji eyeing it.

"Can I think about it? If you don't mind."

Sanji nodded. "Of course. It was just an offer."

It was really weird talking to Zoro like this... without yelling or fighting... it was weird being civil. Confusing even. Even if there was that guard up on both sides. Sanji could feel it. But he could also feel Zoro's walls were a little more open. Maybe out of thanks to Sanji? Or maybe something more... a little rekindled flame of trust perhaps?

Or maybe Zoro was just losing it. He had Luffy's hat again... and that was always a tale-tell sign that something was going on under the surface.

Sanji shook himself out of his thoughts and opened the little sack across his shoulder. He pulled out a canteen and a little box. "Before I forget. C'est pour vous, monsieur. From Chopper."

Zoro took the offerings carefully. "For the pain." Sanji explained.

Zoro nodded and downed the box of pills in one go, drinking thirstily. And then handed the water back to the cook.

"Thanks." He whispered. "Tell Chopper, too."

"No problem."

Sanji stood there a moment longer, poking at the grass with his crutch until Zoro blinked up at him.

"Was there something else?"

"No. No." Sanji paused, "Just..."

"I'm fine for now." Zoro grunted, "I know where to find you when I'm ready."

Sanji nodded. He didn't know if Zoro was talking about food or the exercises at this point, but he no longer felt welcome enough to stay and find out. Zoro just needed a little time alone, and that was clear, so Sanji turned and left, giving Zoro a little wave as he hobbled back down the grassy patch and back towards the bunker that was his kitchen.

He had tried.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Meanwhile, chop the Doubt in even sized pieces and mince the Pride.

Reduce heat to a simmer and let thicken.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was sometime around midday when Zoro had worked up the nerve to admit to himself that he would like to try the cook's proposal. He was beginning to feel a little more open to anything at this point, just to try and clear the prickly antsy feeling crawling beneath his skin. And he was a pro at meditation. If Sanji compared the two, then maybe he would actually enjoy it.

He'd dozed off cleaning his swords, and not even ten minutes later had startled awake so badly that he'd just missed slicing his palm wide open. Thankfully he hadn't dreamed about more eyeballs... Just falling. But it was enough to leave him trembling. He'd then gone to take a long shower. And when the shower failed to make him feel even the slightest bit more at ease, he'd swallowed his pride and found himself standing awkwardly in the doorway of the galley.

"Cook." Zoro greeted. He had his arms crossed over his chest defensively. He wasn't sure why he felt so nervous now, but his feelings lately had been a little unpredictable. Kept catching him off guard. And that is why he felt so desperate now. Desperate enough to do what he was about to do.

"Marimo." Sanji nodded back, it made Zoro's tongue suddenly go dry.

Zoro cleared his throat. "You here to finally eat your rations?" Sanji joked, lightly. He was already bringing Zoro's plate out of the fridge.

"Uh. I, uh," he stuttered, and rolled his eyes at himself. He was off to a great start. Sanji was staring at him expectantly. Waiting. "Actually, I don't have much of an appetite, but..,"

Zoro ran a hand through his freshly washed hair. His fingers came away damp. Just ask! He growled internally at himself. Zoro opened his mouth and let the words tumble out. "I wanted to ask if we could go somewhere? Off the ship."

Sanji blinked at him. "Together?"

Great. The cook was skeptical. Did Zoro have to really make it so specific? The cook made it seem like his question was so weird... and maybe it was. But it's not like they never went anywhere together. They had gone shopping together plenty of times, usually with a threatening tone from Nami, but it was still something.

Zoro scoffed, "You mentioned something about yoga or... meditation. Whatever that was. I thought, maybe you could show me. I'd like to give it a try."

Zoro's eyes were glued to the ground. His tongue felt thick, and the tips of his ears and back of his neck were burning with an unfamiliar bashfulness.

Zoro heard a cupboard close, and the cork on a bottle pop. It gave him enough curiosity to look back up to Sanji. The cook was pouring two tall glasses of something that looked terribly refreshing at the moment. The cook also had the biggest shit-eating grin plastered across his face. The embarrassment creeped all the way up to Zoro's hairline just as Sanji beckoned him over with a silent hand.

Zoro's feet moved forward on autopilot. He had more courage and decency than to run away now, even if he was embarrassed beyond reason. He really wanted that drink. Anything with alcohol sounded absolutely necessary. He met Sanji at the counter, but averted his gaze to look at the blue and pink swirled beverage that Sanji was sliding towards him. There was mint leaves on top. And a slice of lime. Zoro took a large sip and it gave a nice warm burn as it tumbled down his throat. It looked like one of the fancy drinks that Sanji usually prepared just for the girls.

Sanji sipped his own drink, "Sure, I'll show you tonight, after dinner." He told Zoro, and the swordsman gave a little sigh of relief. "But on one condition." Ugh. Zoro leaned heavier against the counter, took another long swallow. Of course there would be a catch...

"Hey.. relax. Don't worry. I'm not going to make this weird or anything, as long as you don't leave broken glass all over my kitchen." Sanji eyed Zoro's hand pointedly, and the swordsman loosened his iron-like grip on his glass. Oops. That wasn't his intention. "Just promise you'll go into it with an open mind... and see it through until the end. One practice. That's all I ask."

Zoro's heart gave a nervous little twist, though he wasn't sure why. But he agreed readily, fine with the cook's terms. He gave a sound nod. "Of course." Zoro told him, and finished off his drink in one more swallow. "Nami's gonna be jealous." Zoro nodded to the empty glass on the counter, before turning away. He got to the door as quick as he could and made it outside before either one of them could change their minds. With that accomplished, Zoro wandered back to the grass deck to give his swords a little more polish, and wait for tonight.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

For the sauce:

Combine gin, wine, whiskey, bourbon.

A bottle of awkward silence.

And a splash of courage.

Stir until smooth.

Store apart in a cool spot.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sanji was smoking again.

Finally.

He breathed it in with a passion, and let it out with a sigh of ecstasy.

This island was quaint, or the village was at least. There was a good portion of the land that was apparently uninhabited jungle and forest, green and lush, but this part of the island was just as lovely. It sold, among other things, cigarettes. And that made Sanji very very happy.

Sanji was, for the moment, just purely basking in the bliss of getting his nicotine buzz back.

Maybe just maybe Zoro was having a midlife crisis. Sanji thought the thought and he couldn't unthink it. Or perhaps, Sanji thought, Zoro really had a sort of superiority complex where he needed to be the one to sacrifice himself all the time for others.

Sanji had always known that the swordsman was reckless. Right from the very beginning. And he knew he was also some form of self-sacrificing-hero-boy. He always had to be the one to take on the biggest and the strongest and to use the most bandages. To lose the most blood. He was annoyingly competitive. Zoro just always had to be the hero... Sanji was one to talk, he knew... he knew. Hypocrite much?

But with Zoro it was still different.

Mossy did it because he was punishing himself.

Because he felt he had to. Like he didn't have any other choice.

Because he didn't save her. And now he felt like he had to prove to her that he survived to win for the both of them.

That is what it seemed like Zoro told himself. That dangerous mantra of always needing to be the strongest was eating him from the inside out.

And it made Sanji a little sick inside to think... that Zoro didn't believe for one second that he was actually strong enough. That Zoro believed deep down with all his heart, that he was still too weak. And that meant that Zoro felt like he wasn't good enough.

And Sanji had never even fathomed that the asshole could have some sort of self esteem dip... but all the facts were splayed out in front of him. Filleted by Zoro's own swords.

Zoro honestly believed that if he wasn't on top, then he was losing. Then he was weak. Sanji shook his head.

Zoro would pile up everything on his plate until it was overflowing, and then he would eat from the plate next to him instead of finishing his own first...

He was just hoarding trouble for himself.

Sanji dampened his cigarette out on the sole of his shoe, and leaned back heavier against the park bench. Whichever way Sanji tried to word it in his head, it sounded stupid. This is why thinking about Zoro was not Sanji's hobby... he was way too infuriating.

Sanji had found the perfect place to bring the swordsman to this evening. It was a little spa in town with three little houses, surrounding an old wishing well. One of the little huts was used for more alternative practices, such as acupuncture and energy therapy. And then there was a hot pool and sauna, Sanji had told the girls about that one immediately afterwards. But there was one house in particular that piqued Sanji's interest the second he saw it. It had a tiger above the door, and was a prayer studio, used especially for meditation.

It was just perfect. Ideal for what Sanji wanted to show Zoro.

He'd reserved the little place immediately. Even paying the man up front. Now all Sanji had to do was drag the Marimo along. Or... invite the Marimo along. Zoro said he wanted to come.

He decided this was going to be weird.

It was either going to go very well, or be a disaster. Those were the only two options. After the week Sanji had experienced, he only had faith in the latter.

He shrugged, chuckling deeply in the back of his throat. Then he lit another cigarette.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Roast three apple cores.

Bake three self help books.

Chop three confessions.

Combine with uncertainty.

Sauté until crispy.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Zoro followed Sanji silently out of the harbour and into the small town. The sun was getting low in the sky. There were very few people still on the streets, although Zoro did notice enough stray cats to find it almost comical.

"Cats." He mused quietly.

Sanji nodded beside him. "I know. They're everywhere. Thank God they're considered sacred beasts here. Luffy wanted to bring an armful back to the ship earlier, but it's strictly forbidden. There's some kind of shrine a little further up in the hills." He gave Zoro an amused look and shrugged when the swordsman eyed him with confusion. "I haven't seen it yet, and no, before you ask, we aren't going there."

They walked a little further, passing a small coffee cafe and bookshop. A restaurant on the corner had a few patrons on the terras. It smelled good. But Zoro's stomach turned.

"Sure you don't want to eat something first?" Sanji asked. Zoro could almost hear the pushy, concerned tone if he listened hard enough. No, he didn't eat dinner. Yes, it annoyed the cook. But Sanji's persistence was also irritating. Zoro had said he wasn't hungry, and the cook just kept hounding him.

"Really not hungry." Zoro muttered back.

He saw Sanji slide one hand into his pocket, and readjust his crutch with the other . "Still nauseous?"

Zoro hummed deep is his throat, not really fuelling the conversation any further, and instead stuck to following Sanji in silence.

There were a lot of statues along the path, all cat-themed in some way, and Zoro noticed a sign for a museum that must have been somewhere else in town. The swordsman yawned. What a sleepy town. It seemed a little bit boring, but also a little bit perfect.

Zoro nearly smacked into his crewmate when Sanji made a sudden stop.

"We're here." The blond announced.

Zoro looked up. They were standing in front of what looked like a sort of yurt. A black tiger hung proudly on the sign displayed above the door. "Mind?" Zoro read aloud. A cat ran in between his legs, distracting him, and by the time he looked back, Sanji was already heading inside. Zoro hurried after him.

"What is this place?" Zoro asked, ducking down between the smaller wooden doorway. Inside were three lanterns hung on the round walls, and two black training mats sat in the middle of the small room.

There was a small stone buddah statue on a blue pillow on the left side of the room, near the back, and two scrolls hanging on the right side of the wall. One simply read "Nameste" and the other was adorned with Chinese symbols that Zoro didn't know how to read. He licked his suddenly dry lips, and watched Sanji. The Cook was making himself busy with lighting... candles. He set these between the two mats on the ground. Zoro stood for a moment, watching him. He felt so awkward. Why did he agree to this in the first place. With Sanji of all people.

"You can close the door. I rented this place for the night." Sanji was talking at him. Zoro rolled his eyes. The cook was so bossy. But Zoro came in further, shutting the door behind him, and started unhooking his swords. He lined them up against the wall, peeking again at the foreign text on the scroll. Zoro suddenly felt out of place, and a little vulnerable. A dojo wasn't anything new to him... he'd basically grown up in one. He trained there every single day. Ate there. Slept there... this place even smelled slightly the same. Same wood. Same color floors.

But also very different.

It was smaller. For one...

His Sensei wasn't there.

The old red tea pot with the Sakura blossoms wasn't there.

Kuina wasn't there.

Sanji was here. Sanji was here... lighting candles.

Was this even a good idea?

He looked away from the cook again, towards the small statue against the wall.

Kuina had one of those in her room... an extra small one. It was white. It lived on her window seal. And one day Zoro had laughed at it... it was a fat little round guy... and he had no idea it was supposed to be a god. Zoro was just a kid back then. But Kuina has scolded him in her own way. She was also just a kid... but a little older. A little wiser... and so strong. Strong for her age.

Zoro didn't laugh at those little guys anymore, but he learned shortly after Kuina had passed away that "talking" to them didn't help much either.

"Take off your shoes, and shirt."

Sanji's voice was suddenly snapping Zoro out of his thoughts.

Zoro looked back at the cook. The blond was already half naked. Zoro shrugged and followed Sanji's example, setting his boots next to his swords silently. He kept his shirt on and walked over to the mat that Sanji wasn't standing on. Then in one fluid motion he pulled the fabric over his head, and flung it casually across his boots.

Zoro cracked his knuckles, and his neck. It made Sanji crinkle his nose.

"Can you not be a dick for one night?"

"Right back at ya, Dartbrow."

Sanji went to a knob on the wall that Zoro hadn't noticed before and dimmed the lanterns a little further, and then flipped a switch. Relaxing music began floating around them in healing tones. Zoro was slightly caught off guard. This little place had more bells and whistles than what Zoro first gave it credit for.

Sanji was really taking this seriously... and Zoro had to admit, he was a little bit touched. He didn't know the blond would be so accommodating... he didn't know what to expect, maybe a little deserted patch of grass someplace, under a tree. Or even just back on the ship in the gym.

But this was a step further. It was actually nice.

"Let's do this." Zoro nodded, looking toward Sanji, letting him know he was ready.

The cook nodded back, taking his position on the mat across from Zoro. The candles that the cook had lit burned in a row on the ground between them.

"You wanna know your problem?" Sanji was asking.

"Pfft. I'm sure you know exactly what my problem is." Zoro half laughed back. He rolled his eyes at the blond. Sanji was acting cocky.

"Oh, that I do." Sanji stood straight on his mat, and waited until Zoro mirrored him. "Feet shoulder width apart, Mossy." He corrected. Then went directly into a warrior two pose, keeping the weight on his good foot.

"Ugh. Wait." Zoro scrambled to keep up.

"You need to forgive yourself." Sanji spoke casually, but he said the words as if he fully believed them. The cook was stretching his hurt leg high above his head now, and then arched it around his neck.

"What are you talking about?" Zoro scoffed, and marvelled at the human knot in front of him. How incredibly flexible Sanji was... his body and muscles so lucid. Like water. Zoro was more of an earthy mass. Solid. Hard as stone.

But now he felt like he was crumbling...

his steady earth was quaking.

And Sanji was a tidal wave. Washing over Zoro. Weathering him.

Zoro flinched. "You're just showing off. If this is going to be a waste of my time, I'll just go now and find a bar or cavern somewhere."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Let cool.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sanji shushed him. He peered at Zoro, trying to gauge the swordsman's reactions to their practice. Overwhelmed was what it seemed like. Zoro wasn't following anymore, his arms were folded defensively across his bandaged chest.

"Whoops, I forgot this was new for you... we'll just start with the hard stuff then." Sanji teased; he gave Zoro a little half smile. He was trying to keep the mood light, but it seemed like Zoro wasn't really in the mood for games. He still looked a little out of his element, and the uncertainty wasn't a look that Sanji was used to seeing on the swordsman. His mouth was a hard, serious line.

No... Zoro wasn't in the mood for games. For him, this was very serious. He came to Sanji for help. Made himself vulnerable.

Okay then. Sanji would play serious. "Go ahead and take a seat." Sanji told him again, his voice coming out in a calming tone. The music drifted around them, making the situation all the more humorous in Sanji's mind. But only because it was him and Zoro, and this was definitely not a normal situation for them. If they were doing this even two weeks ago, Zoro would also be laughing. Sanji was sure of it.

Zoro ran a hand over his face, and began sitting. Sanji noticed how he gave himself extra care, trying not to bend too much, and then it dawned on the cook that the swordsman was most likely still in pain. Did Chopper not give him the extra good stuff? Or was Zoro just immune to it by now...

"We'll just begin with mountain pose, and go from there." Sanji spoke softly, now. His voice dipping into light baritones, trying his best to make this less uncomfortable for the both of them.

The music spooled in soothing waves around them. Sanji sat, too. He kept his bum leg outstretched, but folded the other under himself to mirror Zoro's already correct position. Zoro sat cross legged, back straight, hands on either knee. He waited patiently for Sanji.

"Try not to think about anything, except this room." Sanji told him. "There is no bad here. Equally there is no good here. It is just here... in this room there are no expectations. It merely exists."

Sanji recited the mantra slowly, just as he had learned it, years ago. He watched Zoro lick his dry lips, his eyebrows were still unconsciously pulled into worried lines. "Let your hands join together in center." Sanji pressed his palms together in front of him, and Zoro parroted. "Relax... let the thoughts just be. Let them come.. acknowledge them, but don't react to them." Zoro swallowed, staring at the wall, seeming to try and avoid Sanji's gaze. "If it might help, try closing your eyes." Sanji instructed softly.

Zoro seemed to contemplate it for a moment, and finally let his eyes slip closed. Sanji nodded in approval, although Zoro couldn't see that now.

"Try to clear your mind. Don't think about anything except what's happening right now. Breathe in. Think about the way your hands feel pressed together. Feel each finger." Sanji's voice caressed Zoro's ears. "Breathe out. Notice how the ground beneath you feels... just let the thoughts come... but then let them go."

"We'll move into a different position now. Breathe in. Bring your arms up over your head, give a good reach. Let your hands find one another again. And hold it. Breathe out."

Zoro was just sitting there, legs folded, arms lifted together over his head in a seated sun salutation, just like Sanji's, but the cook could see how tense Zoro still was. How the skin around his eyes and mouth held unease.

"Marimo. Lower your arms, bring your hands together in front of your chest again. Focus on your breathing." Sanji guided, forming a prayer position, and waited for Zoro to follow suit. "Breathe in... hold it. Release. Breathe out." Sanji listened to the sound of wispy breaths, barely audible over the soothing music.

"Good. In..." He held it. Watched Zoro carefully, counting to three in his head, "And out."

They breathed together for a while. Sanji waited to see if the tension became less pronounced in the swordsman's body, but barely so... Zoro was too on guard. It was just the way he was. The way he trained and fought. Always on guard. Always ready for action. But that isn't what Sanji wanted from him at the moment. That wasn't what Zoro needed right now. Zoro needed to relax. To let go completely and just... flow...

And Sanji knew he could do that... Sanji had seen the other man meditate before. Like he was just completely gone from the world... but now was proving to be a challenge for the swordsman.

"Can you feel how many muscles you're using at the moment..?" Sanji asked softly. He watched the flame of the candle in front of them, flickering touchily in the dim room.

Zoro cracked an eye open. Silver and green flickered to meet warm blue across the candle lit training mats. "What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

"You're very tense." Sanji answered simply. He held Zoro's gaze.

Zoro tried not to flinch. He tried to keep the cook's gaze, not wanting to break first. "I'm not. I'm relaxed." Zoro rose an eyebrow high into his forehead. What was the cook on about? He was sitting here breathing... he wasn't exactly lifting weights.

"Tch." Sanji scoffed. Zoro opened both eyes now, he didn't like that sound. He suddenly felt a little more aware, and felt a lot more silly. He didn't feel like being there anymore. In the same room with the cook. Didn't need that asshole to criticize him.

Sanji saw Zoro's walls come up at once and alarm bells went off in his mind. "Hey... hey... Wait." Sanji spoke softly again, his tone still low and soothing. The cook moved before the swordsman could. He stretched his arm out towards Zoro and didn't even react when he saw Zoro flinch a little. "Stretch your arm out, too."

Zoro hesitated. Sanji could see that he was losing him. "Come on, this one's easy." He tried goading him, trying to get Zoro back into the routine. Zoro finally did it, but the reluctancy was still there. If Sanji wasn't careful, Zoro was going to get up and walk out, and... well... that would be that. And Sanji would have failed again.

Sanji pressed forward with his instruction, not giving Zoro enough time to even think about running away. He looked down at their two arms side by side, stretching towards each other over the low candle flames. "Good. Turn your palm up, and flex your fingers. Let them stretch as long as they can." Zoro did. Sanji schooled his features, trying not to be too surprised when Zoro obeyed him. He watched Zoro's fingers splaying out, flat palm opened towards the ceiling. "Now release your shoulder, let it drop away from your ear..." Sanji continued. "Feel your neck. Let it elongate... and curl your first finger back towards yourself." Sanji spoke, watching Zoro quietly. He was getting back into the groove.

"Let your eyes close. And find your breath. Let the breath find your palm..." Sanji waited patiently. Zoro closed his eyes again, and his breathing became deeper, more controlled. Sanji nodded, satisfied. Zoro was really trying. "Now let your middle finger bend towards your palm, too... let it rest there. Let it find your breath."

Sanji watched as Zoro did as he was told, and then sighed internally. He was tensing again... "Elongate your neck," Sanji repeated calmly. "Let your shoulders droop. Back straight." He listened for Zoro's breaths... waited for the swordsman to comply... but it's like a switch had been flipped. The second Zoro had closed his eyes again, everything seemed to go to shit, and it's like Zoro wasn't even aware of it! It was a knee jerk reaction. A response that he couldn't control. Sanji bit his lip. Should he keep going..?

"Close your ring finger. Let it find your palm with the others." He spoke quietly, and that fucking shoulder was hunching back upwards again. "Find your breath. Let it come naturally, in and out. Towards your hand. Let your fingers bathe in your breath." Sanji spoke the mantra exactly how he'd learned it, but broke the position himself and without thinking about it started working his way carefully towards Zoro's side of the mats. He avoided the candles stealthily, aware of his clunky cast. He heard Zoro's breath hitch, conscious of Sanji moving around.

"Move your pinky to join the others, but keep your thumb stretched outwards. Let your pinky find your breath."

Sanji didn't know which reaction to expect when he finally made his way behind the swordsman, and set a steady and weighted hand against Zoro's shoulder, but what he got didn't surprise him. Zoro startled and his eyes snapped wide open. They were fire and wild. His breathing was quicker and his palm was a fist in front of him, clenched and ready to defend.

Zoro craned his neck to look at Sanji sitting behind him. "The hell you doing?" He grumbled.

Sanji swallowed, he tried to stay calm. Trying to keep the peace. He squeezed Zoro's shoulder carefully. His thumb finding a tense muscle to dig softly into. "Relax." He whispered.

"Stretch your arm out again, and try breathing a little deeper."

Zoro eyed Sanji warily. "I don't want to do this anymore, Cook. It's stupid."

"I'm just trying to help... you promised you'd try it. Until the end."

Sanji told Zoro pointedly. He wasn't going to force the other man, but... he wanted Zoro to at least try. To be open enough to... not completely write Sanji off.

Zoro sighed, deeply. He shrugged Sanji's hand off, but did stretch his hand out again, and curled his fingers. Sanji watched carefully, waiting until Zoro tried to find his breathing. The swordsman's eyes were still open, and everything seemed good this time. Sanji praised him quietly.

"That's good. Now we're going to switch arms." The Cook moved so he was sitting next to Zoro now. He heard Zoro swallow, unsure, but the swordsman didn't move away. He stayed seated and lowered his arm back to his lap. Sanji watched him shake out his fingers, trying to get the feeling back. Then Zoro raised his left palm, and waited for Sanji's instructions.

"Curl your first finger," the cook instructed again. "And keep your back straight, arm parallel to the ceiling... find your breath. Let it wash across your arm, feel it against the crease in your elbow. Let it glide across your wrist. And settle in your palm. Feel your breath with your first finger... let it rest there." Sanji murmured, doing the exercise along with Zoro. The candlelight danced across the room with them, casting the shadows of their outstretched arms across the walls of the small dojo.

"Let your middle finger join... bring it to your palm. Find your breath. Find your center. Let your eyes close again. Fully focus on your palm.. your breath... let your fingers do the tasting."

Sanji was satisfied when Zoro complied. The swordsman's steely eyes fluttering closed, breathing becoming deeper. He seemed to really be focusing this time. "Let your ring finger nestle in there, join the others, find your..." Sanji had to pause mid sentence, because there it fucking was, those shoulders becoming tenser than Franky after seeing even one splinter out of place on the ship. Creeping back up towards his ears.. "-center... relax." Sanji continued, and slowly, ever so carefully, reached a hand out to touch Zoro's shoulder, trying to place it back down, trying to get him to relax. Zoro's entire hand snapped shut, forming a fist yet again. His eyes snapped open and he looked at Sanji warily, demanding answers. "Do you honestly not feel that?" Sanji asked instead, baffled.

Zoro gave him an unamused look. "Feel what?" He grunted, "feel you touching me?"

Sanji sighed. He squeezed Zoro's shoulder just slightly, feeling his muscles in knots under his fingers. "You tense up every time your eyes close." Sanji told him quietly.

Zoro frowned at him. There was no tease in Sanji's tone, and his eyes weren't laughing or judging when Zoro looked into them. Instead he could've sworn he saw a pinch of concern nestled there.

"I'm just doing what you tell me to, Cook." Zoro murmured quietly. He looked down at his lap, where his hands had retreated to, and forced his shoulders to sag again under Sanji's touch, trying to relax them. Sanji saw the realization cross Zoro's sharp features. "I didn't realize..." Zoro's voice was a whisper under his breath, and Sanji was a little shocked when he felt the swordsman lean a little more into his touch instead of forcing himself away. A silent apology.

"I know you aren't meaning to... it's involuntary." Sanji nodded back. He shrugged, thinking out loud. "Do you feel more comfortable with your eyes open?"

"To be honest, I don't really feel comfortable doing this at all." Zoro breathed out. He looked into the small flickering flame of one of Sanji's candles. Sanji saw the far away look in his eyes from a mile away. Even if Zoro's shoulders were feigning relaxation now, his mind was obviously far from it.

"We can stop." Sanji told him. He squeezed Zoro's shoulder once again, and didn't know why he was still touching him, but Zoro wasn't shrugging him off, so he stayed.

"It's just something new. I don't know how to... yeah.. it's different than how I meditate." He breathed out, "I don't know." Zoro's voice sounded so small. Sanji wasn't sure how to respond, so he just listened, hoping Zoro would just keep talking. And he wasn't disappointed, the low rumble of Zoro's voice filled the small space again a moment later.

"Lately, when I close my eyes... I see things I don't want to see, and I just... I don't know. I know I'm not dreaming, but I'm seeing the stuff from my nightmares and I'm not even asleep. And, I just don't know how to make that go away... Fuck, this is so stupid!" Zoro growled. He bit his tongue, thinking he'd said too much, his heart was suddenly racing. Sanji could feel it in his neck, against his thumb. Pattering as fast as a hummingbird's wings. The swordsman's face was suddenly a burning red. Sanji saw the shy glow even under the low candlelight.

"It's not stupid!" Sanji blurted quickly, trying to diffuse the unease that was suddenly building inside of Zoro. "It makes sense. Your body goes into defence mode."

"But, I'm not fighting anybody!" Zoro wasn't angry shouting, but perplexed... he sounded exhausted.

"And yet here we are." Sanji gave him a pointed look. He let his hand slide from Zoro's shoulder. "It's okay to feel vulnerable."

Goosebumps rose on Zoro's arms. He looked back at the long scrolls on the wall. "This place reminds me of stuff." Zoro finally ventured. "It makes me think. Too much."

Sanji looked around, "This little yoga studio?"

"This little dojo... yeah." Zoro gave him a sleepy look.

Sanji watched him. "What does it make you think about?"

Zoro paused, eyes finding his own bare feet suddenly rather interesting. "Just stuff. Before." He offered, and a little quieter whispered, "and her."

Sanji became immediately a thousand times more invested. "Her. As in your dream lady?"

Zoro nodded. "She always smelled like paper..." Zoro recalled. What a weird thing to tell someone. Did paper even have a scent?

Sanji tilted his head to the side, "She was important to you." He whispered.

"She was." Zoro answered back. There was no denying that. "She would have liked this place. She liked to do yoga... and those stretchy things you like to do." Zoro began, "she used to tell me about bugs and plants... and other weird stuff. How we're all connected to the earth. She sat on her knees a lot in front of that little guy there." He nodded towards the small buddah in the room. This one wasn't as jolly looking as the one by her window from earlier. This buddah was more serious, and a lot more slender looking. Not very big muscles, and a little more zen. Zoro shook his head.

"I tried to too once... after..." Zoro quieted. He suddenly became very aware of his audience, and the openly surprised look that Sanji was watching him with.

"But, none of that matters anymore." The swordsman clammed up.

Sanji tried to object, but Zoro was already looking away again. "If it matters to you, it matters." He told his crewmate.

The candle light flickered violently with the heavy sigh that Zoro breathed at that.

"Zoro?" Sanji asked.

Zoro looked up, met Sanji's gaze. The cook looked a little frightened. Zoro couldn't begin to fathom why, until the dumbass decided to open his stupid mouth and then a question came out of it that Zoro found absolutely inappropriate. "Have you ever talked to a therapist before?"

Zoro felt a little lightheaded. He blinked sidelong at Sanji, and wished that the candles were still separating them. Sanji suddenly felt too close. He was in Zoro's bubble.

The cook must have realized how uncomfortable Zoro suddenly seemed because he was moving away on his own. His hands open in front of him. Open palms towards Zoro, as if he were holding up a shield. Now that wasn't necessary... Zoro wasn't going to attack him. But the cook was smart to give him a little space, all the same.

"It's none of my business. And I didn't mean anything by it." Sanji appeased quickly.

Sanji suddenly looked very tired. As tired as Zoro felt. Zoro stopped glaring at him, and instead gave Sanji a shrug. Did it even matter?

"It's fine." He grunted. "And No. of course I haven't." He answered instead, and his voice was calm, and cool. It didn't match the torrent of rage and sorrow that he felt coursing through him. Zoro needed to be careful. His head was really going crazy, thoughts racing so violently and unsure. It was like a storm was building, and soon he needed a way to release all the building pressure, but he wasn't sure how. Would Sanji want to spar? Should he just train to blow off steam? Scream?

"Moss head?"

The swordsman held up a finger, silencing the cook, "Shut up for a minute." He warned. "I'm pissed off, and I'm not sure what to do about it yet."

Sanji clapped his mouth shut, even though words were rolling against the tip of his tongue, he thought it would be wise to listen to the ex-pirate hunter and keep quiet. Especially when Zoro was breathing like that, and the veins in his forehead and neck were bulging.

"I don't talk about this shit with anybody." Zoro spat out.

"I've never told a soul. Why am I telling you...? Everything's always been a secret, and I'm not supposed to tell anyone." It was a torrent of confessions.

Zoro was sad. He was angry. His heart felt shattered behind his broken rib cage. His breathing was coming too quickly now, and he wanted to break something.

"Marimo... moss head...".

Zoro lifted a hand towards his own throat. He felt like he couldn't get enough air. This room was suddenly too small. It was suddenly very stuffy and very warm... he felt a cold sweat break out on the back of his neck.

"Zoro. Lay down, man. You're having a panic attack."

Zoro became gripped with fear. He couldn't understand all of what Sanji was saying. He was busy trying to suck in air here! Damn it. These bandages were too tight. Chopper did a fucking wonderful job. He couldn't even get them off. He was trying! Zoro was suddenly clawing at his chest. His vision was blurring, and the candle light was suddenly bouncing across the walls.

"Shit!" He heard Sanji swearing, and maybe he couldn't breathe either. Was there some sort of devil fruit power sucking the life and air out of this place? But when Zoro tried looking for Sanji he saw the cook hastily blowing out the candles. One had tipped over. There was white wax spilled on one of the black workout mats.

"Calm the fuck down!" Sanji was shouting, "you're gonna hurt yourself." The Cook sounded scared. So was there an enemy somewhere?

Zoro was suddenly being forced to look into Sanji's eyes. Wide and blue. And very confused and concerned. The cook had gripped Zoro's arms, keeping them from clawing off his bandages. Sanji's nails were digging into Zoro's biceps. No enemy, then. This was only happening to him. Zoro let out a small sound of distress. He balled his hands into fists, flexing his arms under Sanji's grip so that it hurt a little more. Trying to feel the pain.

"Calm down." Sanji was telling him, but Zoro couldn't. He ripped his arms out of Sanji's grasp and lifted them back to his throat. He was wheezing now. And Sanji had his cheeks suddenly cupped between his hands so that Zoro was forced to keep looking at him. "Hey, Zoro. Look at me, okay? You need to breathe through this."

Zoro honestly felt like he was drowning again. He couldn't suck in enough air. He looked back into Sanji's eyes, because he couldn't do anything else. He couldn't move. Couldn't breathe.

Sanji's hand left his face and found his chest instead. "Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out." His hand was rubbing in a gentle circular rhythm over where his heart was trying to explode out of his chest. Zoro heard the mantra, it was just loud enough to hear over the pulsing heartbeat resounding in his ears, but tender enough that Zoro wanted to obey what Sanji's voice was saying. He leaned in closer, and Zoro didn't know how it had happened, but he was suddenly clinging to the cook. A desperate hug. His fingers clawing at the bare skin of Sanji's back and shoulders.

Sanji was wrapping him back up in his arms, drawing him closer. Zoro felt a hand gliding against his back now, in the same rhythm that was against his chest moments ago. "In..." and the hand rose up. "Out.." and down. "Come on, you've got this." Up... in... down... out...

The breath was so close. The voice a steady whisper in his ear.

"Breathe. We're safe here. Stop thinking so much. It's just us here."

Zoro panted, clinging heavily. What sort of sounds were coming out of his own throat? It sounded like someone was being strangled. And Zoro felt himself trying to stop it, but the panic had gripped him too fully.

"Feel my breath... follow me." Sanji told him. He rubbed Zoro's back a little harder, adding more pressure, tying to get him to feel a rhythm. "Copy mine. In... and out... in... and out..."

Zoro pressed his eyes shut, trying hard to follow, but his breath was still so choppy, he felt it catching against his tongue.

"Just breathe, Zo. Imagine we're... back on the Sunny. You're on the Sunny on the grass.. there are gulls in the air. Luffy's singing in the distance, horribly. And I'm there annoying the shit out of you." Sanji gave a dry laugh, he was trying so hard to distract Zoro enough to get him to breathe normally.

Zoro's eyes opened. His pupils were pinpoints, even in this dimly lit dojo. Zoro was still a million miles away. "Okay, okay, pretend you're doing one of your sword moves. Curse of a thousand dragon eggs, or whatever you call it." Sanji stumbled over his words, he was trying to stay calm himself, trying to reel Zoro back in. "You know that move by heart. Know how to hold your swords... know how to bend your arms... know how wide to spread your legs. You know exactly how to cut who you want to. You know how to breathe in order to execute it."

Sanji was surprised when Zoro's breathing actually started to slow. He was still gasping hollowly, fingers still hooking into Sanji's shoulder blades, but Zoro's eyes were suddenly closed again. As if he were trying to concentrate.

"Feel the swords in your hands... feel their familiar weight. Feel the grass between your toes. You're grounded. You're ready. And strike!"

Sanji let out a startled cry when Zoro's fist actually drove itself into his rib cage. It wasn't a hard punch, but it was an accurate one. And Zoro's eyes had snapped open. He looked terribly shocked by what he'd just done, but all Sanji did was cringe a little, and let the gentle throb from the attack subside. "It's fine. If you need to hit me, then do it."

And it was fine. If Zoro wanted to hit him, then he'd allow it, if it meant getting the swordsman through this now. But Sanji didn't dare fight back. Not now. Zoro's ribs were already cracked... the other man was still recovering from nearly drowning the day before, and now he was having a panic attack. If Sanji thought he was having a shitty week, then Zoro's could be labelled an extra shitty one.

Zoro brought his fist down on his own leg this time, hard, and Sanji watched him in silence as his breath broke once to form what sounded like a sob. And then as if a switch had been flipped, Zoro moved himself away, out of the cook's hold. Sanji saw Zoro roll sideways and collapse in a breathy heap on one of the mats. His fingers were running madly through his short seafoam hair, but the heaving in his chest was evening out, his breathing becoming quieter in the small space.

Zoro's eyes were pinched shut.

Sanji scooted himself so that he was kneeling on the other mat next to Zoro's. The candles were out of the way now, so there was no barrier between them. Sanji watched Zoro's chest and stomach silently. The swordsman's giant scar rose and fell in simple puffs.

"Fuck."

Sanji stayed quiet, letting Zoro's curse and breath float around them. He wanted to let Zoro cool off... to let him hear his own breathing. He was really coming out of it. Finally coming back to himself.

"Fuck, that hurt."

Sanji swallowed, letting out a sympathetic hum. He laid down in the same direction as the swordsman, and looked up at the same ceiling. "It's okay. You're going to be fine now." He whispered, almost afraid to speak, but Zoro didn't shush him. He just repeated another "fuck", and moved a hand to rub at his own chest.

Sanji watched him, "Don't stop. In... out... count out loud if you need to," he reminded. And then the two fell into soft rhythmic breathing.

"Has that ever happened to you before?" Sanji asked after a long pause. A little out of the blue.

Zoro's breathing was too uneven for him to be sleeping just yet, but it got to the point where Sanji had believed the other man hadn't heard him, or was just going to ignore him. Until a thin whisper wafted up around them, voice a little shaky. A little unsteady.

"It's been a very long time."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Zest heavily with grated lime and lemon peel.

Really pile it on there.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sanji didn't know how long they'd been laying there, but he knew it was long enough to begin craving a cigarette. Zoro's breaths were steadier now, but still heavy. Sanji was just glad it was over. The meditation clearly had not worked...

Sanji had failed. And he had new information about the swordsman flapping around in his head.

"This is exactly why I don't talk about her..." Zoro confessed.

"This is exactly why you probably should..." Sanji breathed back. He sighed up at the ceiling, "What's her name again?" Sanji asked him calmly.

It must have been a full minute in silence, maybe two, before Sanji tilted his head slightly and glanced across at Zoro, wondering if he had fallen asleep. But his eyes were wide open, and they were glistening against the dim light of the lanterns hung along the dojo walls. Sanji didn't know what had possessed him then, but he carefully sought out Zoro's hand, and squeezed the swordsman's calloused fingers in his own. Zoro didn't pull away.

Another full minute of silence. Everything was completely still, the two lay there on the ground, side by side.

Finally Zoro spoke, his voice slicing the stillness in two. "Kuina. Her name was Kuina."

Sanji held Zoro's fingers a little tighter then, "It's very lovely." He said softly. "Is it okay if I remember it?"

Sanji felt Zoro squeeze his fingers back. "You can, it's okay." The swordsman's voice was thick and filled with something that Sanji couldn't exactly pinpoint, but he didn't press. He just let the silence fold over them. Let the peace fill the room. Zoro still had his fingers between his own, and he wasn't letting go, and so Sanji held on. Even as he felt himself nodding off, he held on.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Start with:

One pot boiling water...

2 tsp salt

A dash of unfiltered sunlight

3 restless thoughts

Wait 8 to 10 minutes... or maybe 100.

Roll, 10 heartbeats through thyme.

Knead tears and apologies to form a crumbly dough.

Add:

1 cup self rising flour

A pinch of stress

3 powerful kicks

A fistful of doubt

Over low fire, sauté 3 teary onions.

Purée 4 potatoes and 2 bushels of denial.

Throw in a heap of embarrassment, and a generous amount of friendly touches.

Let simmer.

Time: undetermined.

Count 10 sheep

Mix with one liter crushed ice

And a splash of drool.

Mix with 4 cups of exhaustion.

Stuff it all inside a very large bird.

Bake for half a night and half a day.

Meanwhile, chop the Doubt in even sized pieces and mince the Pride.

Reduce heat to a simmer and let thicken.

For the sauce:

Combine gin, wine, whiskey, bourbon.

A bottle of awkward silence.

And a splash of courage.

Stir until smooth.

Store apart in a cool spot.

Roast three apple cores.

Bake three self help books.

Chop three confessions.

Combine with uncertainty.

Sauté until crispy.

Let cool.

Zest heavily with grated lime and lemon peel.

Really pile it on there.

Bon appetite.

Serving size: 2

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

This is a Cook's recipe for:

Forgiveness.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

TBC

Yes, that's where we'll leave off... for now? I still want to go back and rework some of the older chapters, but one step at a time. I'm just surprised I made it this far. Reviews are appreciated. And if you feel the characters are completely OOC… they probably are! But for the sake of the story they are just a little more sensitive and emotional than in canon. Until next time.