THIS JUST IN: UPDATES IN MEH LIFE

1/2/08: Yay, a revamp! After a long absence, I'm finally back- with new stories! Has it BEEN long enough? Hope they're not too much of a disappointment. I wonder how large my fanbase still is?

... I'm sorry, everybody.

I'm accepting Private Messages, now. Does that count for anything?

I'm a ninja. You can't see me, OR my profile. Oh ho ho!

Hello, my name is HMR, and I'm addicted to Cosplay.

Theme Song: There's a Good Reason..., Panic! At The Disco

Fandoms: Naruto, Death Note (hopefully) Heroes, and some original fiction. (My own novel, yay!)

OTPs: Naruto, Lee/Saku; Death Note, L/Misa; Heroes, Hiro/AnythingFemaleThatMoves. Also flips for Gai/Kurenai, Lee/Female!Gaara, Lee/OC, and Sandcest.

Genres: Angst, Horror, and Downright Weird Humor.

Authoring Idol: Stephen King. Can you hear the monkey clapping?...

Best Reviewers In The World: EnduranceInTribulation, bowserjr, MayanGirl6, Ameko-Shadowsong, Kiyari Makrono, naash, many more I've forgotten. You guys are the greatest.

Gai-sensei should be paired well, and often; Anko, Shizune, Kurenai- just make sure gets his lovins.

I hate yaoi and yuri. Violently.

Has Justin Timberlake never caught on that he could just bore a hole in himself and let all the sap out?

I'm a Christian, but in case you haven't noticed, my stories are not your Sunday-School fare, what with their healthy amount of swear words and at least one mention of there not being anybody 'up there' watching out for them. Writing about different theologies and recreating human emotion at it's most extreme is all a part of becoming a good writer, but feel free to revise your theories about us all being a bunch of pious zealots who cram Bibles down people's throats and are waiting around for a sip of Jim Jones' 'Magic Kool-Aid', or whatever.

I eat Mary Sues for breakfast; They're so fake and hollow that they contain no calories.

It's fantastic having fans, and even though I'm an anti-social, self-absorbed little wackmobile, I want you all to know that I really appreciate all the love I get here on . You guys rock beyond all reason.

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Dearly beloved, are you lis-teen-iiinngg? I can't remember a word that you were sayiinng...

(Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

Am I demented, or am I di-stuurbedd?

Thisspacethat'sin-betweeninsaneandinsecure...

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COPYRIGHT INFORMATION FOR THE "30 WAYS" SERIES:

Everyone likes this series, we've got 500 reviews (OMGYAY!!) for it, and it's being neglected by it's author. Anyway, I get about a thousand PMs a day, all reading virtually the same thing: "Can I use so-and-so Way Of Annoying for my fanfiction/fanart/twisted pleasure/to make my boyfriend leave me?", and frankly, I'm too busy to respond to them all. This section is here to tell you all: Knock yourselves out.

Just knowing that my work is good enough to plagerize is enough to swell my pride like a bad case of anaphylaxis, but I appreciate it when people ask. So here's my official permission, on the grounds that you credit me for the original idea somewhere. I really appreciate that you checked my profile first before taking the idea. If you did, you're a cool person. -thumbs up-

And I love reading the byproducts of my creation! If you want me to review your "30 Ways", just send me a PM with the link. I'm notorious for leaving ego-boosting reviews!

Also, the first "30 Ways" story used a couple of ideas from a chain letter I got, and several months ago, I was contacted by the (irate) creator of the letter. I've forgotten her name since, and she didn't press charges, but I thought it was important to acknowledge this. Props to you, person.

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And withOUT you,

is HOW I DISAPPEAR-

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You Meet The Weirdest People At Anime Conventions...

"GASP, you like Inuyasha! You are LAME! We shall have to perform an anime exorcism on you! THE POWER OF NARUTO COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF NARUTO COMPELS YOU!!"

"SALMON!"

"I know- Let's sit on the Cuban guy!"

"Well, I was cosplaying Orochimaru, but the face cream gave me a rash, so now I'm Orochimaru In Anaphylactic Shock."

"So easy, a Narutard could use it!"

"You're the meanest Monkey D. Ruffy I've ever met! Go jump in a septic tank!!"

"HARASS THE ITACHI! HURRAH, HURRAH!"

"We found a pair of one-legged panties on the floor, and we're Questing to return them to Jiriaya. Have you seen one?"

"LOOKIT, THIS MARSHMALLOW GUN WILL SHOOT TO THE TOP OF THE DEALER'S ROOM!!"

"This is Lord Ne-Ne, the piggy king of all anime. Hug him, and his glorious necktie named Mr. Bubbles."

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At my second con a few months ago, I became pals with a Rock Lee cross-player. As we were cruising the dealer's room, the conversation of fanfiction came up, and she started talking about a really good one she'd read- about a girl named Rian and her 'imaginary friend', a cat by the name of 'Neko-Chan'. She went on about the story for five more minutes, and I couldn't speak until about than. She had read 'Neko-Chan'... This girl I'd never met before, from a completely different walk of life, had read my story, and was now talking about how much she loved it. I was so happy, I cried, right there among cosplayers and nerdy kids like me, the most glorious place I've ever been.

That was one of the coolest experiences of my life, bar none. She didn't know I'd written it, who I was, or that I even wrote- She just loved the fic. She called it 'the best one ever' and 'had I read the sequel, "On The Way Down"?', and when I told her I'd written it, she glomped the life out of me. It thrills me just to think of it, now. I lost contact with her a while after that convention, but those things she said, and all the nice things you say when you just hit that purple button- They stay with me forever, and shape me into the writer I'll one day become. I've met some wonderful people, some true friends, and even some soul sisters on this site, and if you've ever even left a one-word review on one of my stories, I want you to know- It's meant the world to this one hopeful kid here.

Thank you, every last one of you. Thank you so much.

- HMR-Chan

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... It seems kind of weird to mention this, but it just occured to me that ever since I created my original profile here for the very first time, I've had the words, "I'll be off then, now. Be sure to read my ficcys! -disappears in cloud of smoke-" at the bottom of this page. I was about to delete it as I revamped this, but... Ah, for ol' times sakes, I'll let it live. Reminds me of the good times way back when...

" I'll be off then, now. Be sure to read my ficcys! -disappears in cloud of smoke- "

Owari.