Author's Note: Maybe there's a reason that there's no GaiShizune fanfictions out there. Because they all turn out as mindless FLUFF! LIKE THIS! GRAAAAHH!! -beats monitor in-

Oi. Forgive me- My eyeballs hurt, and I',m at my best friends house. HAIL, WIRELESS INTERNET CONNECTION!

When did you fall in love with me?

Hopelessly hopeful cow-eyed glances, like a nervous school boy. Do you know how outrageous I felt? Feeling something in my chest swell every time my eyes slid over you, and every time my mind wandered away to thoughts of every wonderful aspect of you. Love's the most amazing thing, really; it's made me feel more alive than twenty-five years of existence, and all the blusterings about Youth I can manage. But, stalking around for just a peek at you in the Missions room might have been carrying it a bit too far. I'm just as bad as that Lee boy of mine, following Kakashi's little kunoichi student with a pair of binoculars. It's an obsession that steals your mind as well as your heart. And boy, did it make away with my senses.

Do you remember the first date? The one where my knees were knocking underneath the table and I got more ramen on my shirt than in my mouth? I guess one's coordination is slightly off when they're only focusing their vision on the face of their female companion, and not paying proper attention to their chopsticks. I was so nervous. Tenten was in on the scam (she'd never give up the chance to play Matchmaker), and spent an hour trying to convince me not to wear green spandex. Lee had to literally drag me (he's much stronger than I ever hoped he could be) to the Ramen stand, and he stayed there until I stopped chewing my lower lip off in nervousness. When he slipped out of the stand and left me to my lack of wits, I'll never know- Maybe it was when my eyes locked on you, and I didn't notice much else until the date was over.

You thought I was a trembling, spastic freak. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

Old romance movies suddenly had me bawling like a hoot owl. Lee and I would hold each other and cry when "How Sweet It Is" would serenade from the radio. Distraction was the new normal, with my thoughts back in Konohagakure, solely drifting back to you from wherever my missions took me. I was a man possessed. I felt like a nervous, flighty teenager again. What was this bewitching spell you'd cast with a bat of your eyes, spiriting away what sense I'd thought I had?

And when did my stutterings begin to soften that heart of yours?

Was it out of the blue, because I swear I never knew it. You'd labor over those grueling tasks at the Hospital: bloodied children on the brink of death, fingers taken off by poison in the blood, the acrid taste of healing chakra, the bitter hand of Fate as you covered yet another body to be delivered down to the Morgue. You had better things to worry about than the Village Idiot watching you from behind the sterile curtains. When did all those bouquets of irises I left in the Nurse's Station, and the half-conversations over Ichiraku's Number 4 with no beef, extra basil (your favorite- I always remembered), turn into something you looked upon as worthwhile and worth daydreaming about?

When did you let your heart go free? Had you been waiting long for someone like- well, me?

Was it that day at the park, when the squirrels attacked me for the bag of peanuts in my pocket? Or the night with that scary thunderstorm? Was it seeing my face through the hospital window, waiting for a single glance of you? Or maybe when Life was too much, and my shoulder was there to be cried on.

And now, the whole universe laughs at it's joke on me- Any maturity I had is out the window; any good sense, any propriety, and any selfishness is for naught. There's something stronger than my students keeping me tied to life, and there's another face in Konoha to pervade my dreams when duty calls me away.

There's always you to run back to. And I need that just to get by.

You smile, and toss your hair- now, come on, don't keep me in suspense! Haven't you driven me crazy enough for the past eternity? Just tell me how I did it. How did I pierce that icy heart of yours, and how you saw past the oddball exterior, to the Me within. Tell me why you even return those feelings to someone as unworthy as me. Tell me what's going on inside of me, because I don't know what to do.

Tell me you love me again, so I'll know I'm not just dreaming.

Everything I do, I do for you. You have my heart, my mind, and so much more. You're the very breath of my existence, and I- Well, dammit, I think I love you. I know I do. Why is it so hard to just whisper it out loud, when I want to scream it from the rooftops?

When did you first start to cave in to my hopeless advances? When did your Knight in Shining Armor turn into your Gai in Green Spandex? When did I ever become worthy to receive even a fraction of your heart, and trust?

When, Shizune? When did Maito Gai ever become good enough for you?

A/N: -shot, shot, shot, shot, hot, and more shot-